Medellin vs Cali - "The Chick Scene"

[Researcher]

Researcher
I was wondering if SOMEONE was going to catch it.

My first six months in Colombia when a woman asked me if I liked arepa.....I replied, no I prefer pan!  I was still new to Colombia......God knows how many second dates, (and more) I missed!

jejejeje

  I thought that's what it was.It's good to know that I didn't SLANDER you! hahaha!

       Researcher

[fathertime]

  What I dislike about Colombia are the gringos that go there to deal in the flesh trade.Either the brothel business or internet webcam girl business.I guess these guys try Cali but find out the biggest opportunities for this kind of business is in Medellin.So they take off to Medellin to further ruin the reputation of gringos by taking advantage of poor young women.

      Researcher

I stand with you 4-square on that one!  Men like this really don't deserve a decent spouse, although they probably feel more entitled to one than the rest of us hicks!


Fathertime!

[utopiacowboy]

I stand with you 4-square on that one!  Men like this really don't deserve a decent spouse, although they probably feel more entitled to one than the rest of us hicks!


Fathertime!

I don't see what the big deal is. These guys are no more searching for a spouse than Dennis is. Commercial sex in Colombia is cheap and freely available but gringos are a tiny part of the business.

[fathertime]

I don't see what the big deal is. These guys are no more searching for a spouse than Dennis is. Commercial sex in Colombia is cheap and freely available but gringos are a tiny part of the business.

I don't like when educated men like zonnyboy abuse their power and take advantage of the situation and bucks to perpetuate negativeness.   It is humorous though when they come back whining about how they can't find a decent woman and how they are all 'playing' him. 


Fathertime! 

[Researcher]

I don't like when educated men like zonnyboy abuse their power and take advantage of the situation and bucks to perpetuate negativeness.   It is humorous though when they come back whining about how they can't find a decent woman and how they are all 'playing' him. 


Fathertime!

     This must be a drawback of dealing in the flesh trade.The line between play for pay and a real relationship becomes blurred.These pornographers get used to being around guys that get their needs met for cold hard cash and forget  what it takes to have a relationship.The next thing you know they are buying sushi for bimbos hoping to get a threesome out of the deal!!!

      Researcher

[Gato4Astrid]

I have ran out of coffee.   I am about to go to the shop over the road, but I wonder if they have a jar of coffee left - or DL took all the coffee? 

[dennislevy]

Gato
Lots of coffee in Colombia. Thought you were having coffee only with Astrid........
 
UC wrote...I odnt see what the big deal is...these men are no more searching for a spouse then Dennis
 
The gringos who live in and aorund Poblado and congregte in Parque Lleras.......and ..... who are just interested in the flesh trade or young girls are almost always very frustrated because THEY arent taken seriously or accepted. 
 
ALMOST ALL dont speak or speak no better then pidgin Spanish, THEY dont meet the families of the girls who are (albiet briefly) in their lives (not that they see the importance of that...and the young girls probably dont want to do it).....and most of them have never been anwhere in Colombia (other then Medlelin) but Cartagena or Cali.
 
So they sit in Juan Valdez or Cafe le Bon and they complain and say that Colombians hate them.
 
I recently talked with a gringo in Parque Lleras who is 73..sturdy. but 73 and he had lived in Medellin for six years. . And he pointed at girl who was maybe 19 or 20 at the next table, with a body as tight as a drum...and he said...THAT s what I like! tight little buns.....No flab hanging from her arms.....
 
And while this man was probably handsome 25 years ago.....he had wrinkles on his face...and a gut...and he was about 52 years older then the girl 
 
To listen to him try and make small talk in Spanish with the waitress iterally made me wince.
 
Referring to the girl at the next table I said to him..... but you have to pay for her company in one way or another....And he said impatienty. oh I know that and of course, I ll do it.....its a question of whether there is any VALUE.  I asked what do you mean by VALUE? And he replied....yes, value..... can she keep me hard? Do I like to look at her, value! This man doesnt think of women as people, he thinks of them as objects. 
 
I am 58. I ve talked about how I live my life in Colombia and how I try and make the playing field equal umpteen times on this forum.

But I hope to God I never think of any woman in that way!   After the first year and a half in Bogota.....I may NOT be exactly looking for a wife at this point in Colombia, (I think that I can live with someone to start)......)but when I look in the mirror I know what I see and I know who I can realistically attract....without LYING about my age, which SOME gringos do, and without paying more then normal dating expenses which MANY gringos do...and without using prepagos...which MANY gringos do.
 
And the reason I get to drink so much coffee in Colombia is that when I talk with women in Spanish , I treat them ocasionally as queens if I like them a lot......but always as people...not as objects.
 
I am nothing like most of the gringo crowd in Medellin.
 

 
Dennis
 
 

[utopiacowboy]

Each to his own, man. As long as that old guy is having a mutually beneficial exchange of money and bodily fluids, what do I care what he's doing? I seriously doubt any of these gringos are crying about not meeting the families or whether their Spanish is up to snuff. They are there to get laid.

[Researcher]

Each to his own, man. As long as that old guy is having a mutually beneficial exchange of money and bodily fluids, what do I care what he's doing? I seriously doubt any of these gringos are crying about not meeting the families or whether their Spanish is up to snuff. They are there to get laid.

   If the rest of the world thought this way everything would be peachy.Myself, I never cared if gringos were there for prostitution or not.They had their brothels and I never hung out in any of them.But that kind of activity does give gringos a bad name.Even though UC says that gringos make up a small portion of Johns which is good news in my book.Hopefull with these reported small numbers of gringo sex tourists  the locals won't look at all gringos as being sex tourists.

      Researcher

   

[whitey]

   If the rest of the world thought this way everything would be peachy.Myself, I never cared if gringos were there for prostitution or not.They had their brothels and I never hung out in any of them.But that kind of activity does give gringos a bad name.Even though UC says that gringos make up a small portion of Johns which is good news in my book.Hopefull with these reported small numbers of gringo sex tourists  the locals won't look at all gringos as being sex tourists.

      Researcher
 

Although gringos make up only a miniscule percentage of the Johns in Colombia (the overwhelming majority of course are Colombians), the percentage of gringos who go to Colombia and pay for sex I believe is much higher, although I have no evidence of this.

I have no moral objection really - prostitution is legal between consenting adults in Colombia.  But like Researcher says, I don't want to lumped in with these guys.  The same way I wouldn't want to be lumped in with a bunch of guys who just go to party, get wasted, or hang out in packs speaking English and trying to pick up chicas.

[Zon]

(I am posting for "perspective" and "current reporting" for those researching - not necessarily the active membership here. So,

1, Paisas LOOKING for a foreign husband - very, very suspicious.   99.99% chance the woman is an "interasada".   It is similar but different in Cali.  It is different on the coast too.

2, "Bad Gringos".  Colombians do not value judge (except for those that have money versus those that do not), so why should gringos?   I  was just surprised that in a city of 3 million plus, a few hundred gringos COULD create such an universal negative steriotype!  If you do not know Spanish, and if you have NO connections, and think you can go to Medellin to "check out the scene" ... you will not get under the first layer of skin in one weekend.   It is a complicated place.   

3, "Bad Paisas".   If no gringo ever stepped foot in Antioquia, the place would be just about the same with regard to ladies looking for something. Medellin seems to be unique in this regard.

[Researcher]

1, Paisas LOOKING for a foreign husband - very, very suspicious.   99.99% chance the woman is an "interasada".   

  If you do not know Spanish, and if you have NO connections, and think you can go to Medellin to "check out the scene" ... you will not get under the first layer of skin in one weekend.   It is a complicated place.   

            99.99% chance?? HAHAHA!!  I heard it is 100% chance because UC got the last good one!!               hahaha! 

         If you don't know the language and do not know anyone you won't "get under the first layer of skin" in one weekend...no kidding? That goes for anywhere on earth. Is this supposed to be a news flash?

          Researcher

[fathertime]

           

         If you don't know the language and do not know anyone you won't "get under the first layer of skin" in one weekend...no kidding? That goes for anywhere on earth. Is this supposed to be a news flash?

          Researcher

Hey Researcher, the next  profound and deep 'news flash' zonnyboy will announce is that the sun will rise tomorrow morning! 


Fathertime!

[maritime04]

Gato
Lots of coffee in Colombia. Thought you were having coffee only with Astrid........
 
UC wrote...I odnt see what the big deal is...these men are no more searching for a spouse then Dennis
 
The gringos who live in and aorund Poblado and congregte in Parque Lleras.......and ..... who are just interested in the flesh trade or young girls are almost always very frustrated because THEY arent taken seriously or accepted. 
 
ALMOST ALL dont speak or speak no better then pidgin Spanish, THEY dont meet the families of the girls who are (albiet briefly) in their lives (not that they see the importance of that...and the young girls probably dont want to do it).....and most of them have never been anwhere in Colombia (other then Medlelin) but Cartagena or Cali.
 
So they sit in Juan Valdez or Cafe le Bon and they complain and say that Colombians hate them.
 
I recently talked with a gringo in Parque Lleras who is 73..sturdy. but 73 and he had lived in Medellin for six years. . And he pointed at girl who was maybe 19 or 20 at the next table, with a body as tight as a drum...and he said...THAT s what I like! tight little buns.....No flab hanging from her arms.....
 
And while this man was probably handsome 25 years ago.....he had wrinkles on his face...and a gut...and he was about 52 years older then the girl 
 
To listen to him try and make small talk in Spanish with the waitress iterally made me wince.
 
Referring to the girl at the next table I said to him..... but you have to pay for her company in one way or another....And he said impatienty. oh I know that and of course, I ll do it.....its a question of whether there is any VALUE.  I asked what do you mean by VALUE? And he replied....yes, value..... can she keep me hard? Do I like to look at her, value! This man doesnt think of women as people, he thinks of them as objects. 
 
I am 58. I ve talked about how I live my life in Colombia and how I try and make the playing field equal umpteen times on this forum.

But I hope to God I never think of any woman in that way!   After the first year and a half in Bogota.....I may NOT be exactly looking for a wife at this point in Colombia, (I think that I can live with someone to start)......)but when I look in the mirror I know what I see and I know who I can realistically attract....without LYING about my age, which SOME gringos do, and without paying more then normal dating expenses which MANY gringos do...and without using prepagos...which MANY gringos do.
 
And the reason I get to drink so much coffee in Colombia is that when I talk with women in Spanish , I treat them ocasionally as queens if I like them a lot......but always as people...not as objects.
 
I am nothing like most of the gringo crowd in Medellin.
 

 
Dennis I can not agree with you more, and have to say I agree with you.
You are nothing like that crowd that hangs out in “Parque Lleras”, you enjoy dating women and date in your general age group, you may not be looking for a spouse, or looking to get “hitched” but you are not here to abuse women, more like enjoy there company. Some men can only see women as sex objects and will never truly understand what its like to enjoy a conversation, or dance with a women. (salsa, tango, ect…)
My last night in Medellin I went out to dinner with my girl, and saw about 20 plus gringos, they stood out clearly due to it being a Tuesday night in Parque Lleras, all men all ages 30-60; I do not think they were in Medellin for the food. I thought to myself why do these guys stand out, is it just because of the shorts and sandals, blue eyes or blonde hair? I mean there are a lot of males in that age group out and about. It’s the fact that they are
1. always alone or in groups of males only
2.  they stand out because they are constantly checking out and sizing up every women they come across
3. They speak loudly, and have a swagger like they own the place, and approach any single women they come across, which in Latin culture is kind of rude.
4. Few if any are in the company of much younger women, whom many of the elites feel are below them, and should not be eating a meal in the same location.
I think that can some up why many gringos are disliked, now on a personal note I got in trouble for looking at the gringos, by my girl she thought I was looking at girls, and did not believe me when I said I was just counting how many gringos I see walking around.

[Researcher]

   So true Maritime.I think your description of those gringos should go under the PL definition of what a "sex tourist" is.

    Sure these guys are going to be pretty much hated by Colombians.The guys that are there to get involved in the flesh trade as a customer or to profit from it are going to have a very different view of things.That's why it is best to steer clear of anyone involved in it.

       Researcher

[utopiacowboy]

I have to laugh. Yeah the Colombianos are all pissed at those sex-hungry gringos screwing their putas and prepagos. The very same putas and prepagos that would starve to death if not for their country men patronizing their services. That hasn't been my experience but whatever.........

[maritime04]

I really do not care about "sex tourist" how a man chooses to live his life is his own bussniess, but how he behaves and acts while out and about and in dealings with locals which can cause some issues and or problems, late night parties, glue sniffing whores in “Parque Lleras”..... Assaulting every woman they meet, and assuming they "want" him solely because they are Poor Colombians, or are for sale because they are pretty ect..ect..ect..
 
I think more attention is brought on by the so called, multi millionaires whom transport yellow hummers with Florida plates to drive around the city like too “cool gods”, hoping they can pick up the next Natalia Perez, only to find themselves mostly alone, unless in the company of some "interasada".
 
Colombia has problems socially and economically, I never thought of prostitution as an abuse of the “poor” but lately have been changing my mind on the subject, regardless Colombians bear the responsibility of single teenage mothers on the street not gringos….   
 

[Researcher]

         True Maritime.Gringos like that surely give all gringos a bad name.Whether it is just a few or not they are highly visible.I always thought it was sad that guys went to Colombia just to have sex with women half their age and still had to pay for it.

      Researcher

[utopiacowboy]

         True Maritime.Gringos like that surely give all gringos a bad name.Whether it is just a few or not they are highly visible.I always thought it was sad that guys went to Colombia just to have sex with women half their age and still had to pay for it.

      Researcher

Just as there is no free lunch, there is no such thing as "free" sex. In fact "free" sex is usually the most expensive sex.

[maritime04]

I have to ask whats soo "sad"
 
men having sex with women half their age?
 
or
 
men having to pay for it?

[dennislevy]

I want to make this pont again.

Treating locals with respect means leveling the playing field for me.

That means I speak THEIR langugage

I want to meet their families, if possible

I want (ALWAYS) to understnad and pick up insights about the culture.

If Im with a woman, I want to talk with her, on pretty much an equal level.....whether is cofee ( really just coffee only!) or a dinner or a relationship and.....

THAT s the most important reason why i date mature women!

A 19 or 21 or 25  year old girl can t TEACH ME ANYTHING...she doesnt have the variety of experiences, or the knowledge or the depth and almost always not enough sophisticated  Spansh to keep me interested in her as a person.

I get bored when ANY woman cant go much further past ....

que bueno and chevere....

As far it being sad about dating women half the age of a man or paying for it.....
A few times.....I ve dated women who were close to half my age.......and I just don t enjoy the feelingof running the game and knowing more or less what is going to happen next.

If someone speaks Spanish...and has decent social skills other then dating expenses. he should never have topay for sex. 

Ive had this discussion countess times with men. If hypothetically I had had sex 224 times with prepagos (the amount of first dates I had in Colombia) at say 100,000 pesos a woman....and I think thats low.....that would pencil out at 22,400,000 pesos. call it 13,000 dollars (at the current rate of exchange) for sex.....but a man still has to live...pay rent...eat....etc.

Ive probably spent way more then 13,000 dollars dating ...but ive had relationships with them....I have great memories, i remember something about almost every one of those women, I imroved my Spanish immeasurably, and they TAUGHT ME...

and i also pad rent and ate...etc.

In Colombia women are part of my life...they are not an afterhougbht just to have sex.

[utopiacowboy]

100,000 pesos is way too much - you're overpaying. You can get your pipes cleaned for 20,000 easy. So that $13,0000 is really about $2600 which is probably less than you actually paid on the "free" sex.

[Tanuki]

100,000 pesos is way too much - you're overpaying. You can get your pipes cleaned for 20,000 easy. So that $13,0000 is really about $2600 which is probably less than you actually paid on the "free" sex.

 
UC, you crack me up! 

[dennislevy]

UC
I hope that YOU was a rehtorical YOU!!!!!!

well, if I could hypothetically get my pipes cleaned for 20,000 pesos a pop.....I would probably catch STDs I couldn t even spell! 

No. I like my strategy more and in three years here...i ve never had to say....I fell into a ring of fire!

[fathertime]

I want to make this pont again.

Treating locals with respect means leveling the playing field for me.

That means I speak THEIR langugage

I want to meet their families, if possible

I want (ALWAYS) to understnad and pick up insights about the culture.

If Im with a woman, I want to talk with her, on pretty much an equal level.....whether is cofee ( really just coffee only!) or a dinner or a relationship and.....

THAT s the most important reason why i date mature women!

A 19 or 21 or 25  year old girl can t TEACH ME ANYTHING...she doesnt have the variety of experiences, or the knowledge or the depth and almost always not enough sophisticated enough Spansh to keep me interested in her as a person.

I get bored when ANY woman cant go much further past ....

que bueno and chevere....

As far it being sad about dating women half the age of a man or paying for it.....
A few times.....I ve dated women who were close to half my age.......and I just don t enjoy the feelingof running the game and knowing more or less what is going to happen next.

If someone speaks Spanish...and has decent social skills other then dating expenses. he should never have topay for sex. 

Ive had this discussion countess times with men. If hypothetically I had had sex 224 times with prepagos (the amount of first dates I had in Colombia) at say 100,000 pesos a woman....and I think thats low.....that would pencil out at 22,400,000 pesos. call it 13,000 dollars (at the current rate of exchange) for sex.....but a man still has to live...pay rent...eat....etc.

Ive probably spent way more then 13,000 dollars dating ...but ive had relationships with them....I have great memories, i remember something about almost every one of those women, I imroved my Spanish immeasurably, and they TAUGHT ME...

and i also pad rent and ate...etc.

In Colombia women are part of my life...they are not an afterhougbht just to have sex.

it is nice that you know what you want dennislevy...you have cornered a market that most travelling gringos are not too interested in...and if they are, they often get sidetracked!


Fathertime!