Deckard's trip report - POST #9

[Deckard]

Deckard's trip report - POST #9

Luda and I * August, 2001

As I was with Luda each day from morning until we said goodnight to each other, I had a lot of quality time with her. And I started to realize, my feelings for her were growing deeper with each passing day. And I felt that it was the same with her, about me.

We had actually felt close enough to each other to be kissing each other before we left Alupka and returned to Simferopol in late July.

I had seen many girls in Crimea, many of them more attractive than their counterparts over here. I met several of them, and watched the behaviors of others, but I was pretty sure that I wouldn't have found someone that is as special to me as Luda, had I come to Crimea to date other women as well.

One day early in August, her whole family sat down with me and Luda. Luda translated for them and they asked about my intentions regarding Luda. Luda said later that she had no prior knowledge of what her parents were going to say. The conversation came a bit sooner than I expected, since I was going to initiate it, but her parents had beaten me to it. I told them upfront that I was serious about her, and I had long term plans that I wanted her to be a part of. They asked me many questions, and I answered as best as I could. I knew that they were very cautious and worried, and although I knew it could make things a little hard on me at first, I also knew that it was a good thing. I knew her parents liked me very much, and they were practically treating me like a son at that point.

The next day, Luda had to make a trip back to her hometown for 5 days to visit her grandparents. Her father and sister had to go, as well as her uncle and his uncles driver. This left no room for me in the car. This was the reason for the big conversation the night before, because although Luda would be returning in 5 days, father did not know when he would be returning, and he wanted to have this conversation then, just in case I would return to the U.S. before his return to Simferopol. If that happened, we would have been unable to all sit down and talk.

So Luda's mom and I waited waited in Simferopol for Luda to return, while she went to visit her grandparents. I got to know her mother quite well, as we had to communicate by ad libbing nd "improvisatzia" and with dictionaries during the time Luda was away. It was a long 5 days, and it left me with a lot to think about. And I realized that I had no more reason to wait.

I missed her terribly while she was away, and when she called me a couple of nights before returning, I could hear in her voice that she felt the same.

When she got back, it was quite a reunion. Father ended up coming back after all. Luda was very tired after the 12+ hour trip by car, so she needed that night and the next day to recover.

Then the next morning, almost two days after her return, I asked her to wear the same blue dress that she had worn when I first met her. I explained that I wanted to take pictures of her by the Salgir river. We went out in the late morning, and by noon, I was taking pictures of her, and she was modeling for me. We sat down on a yellow bench in the park next to the Salgir river for a rest. We talked for a while. Then I took out a little red box and gave it to her. She slowly opened it and then I asked her if she would marry me. She swallowed, and looked completely taken by surprise. Then, a couple of moments later, she said "Yes!". It was a surreal moment. In the box was actually a bracelet that was a favorite of mine. It turned out to be a favorite of Luda's too, and she wore it every day that we went out. I took many more pictures of her on that yellow bench, and then I took her to get an engagement ring. I knew she was very picky about clothes/jewelry, etc. so I wanted us to pick one together with her. It took us a few hours, but we did finally settle on one that we both liked very much.

When we arrived back home, we announced it to her family. They were very happy for Luda and I, but I could tell just a little worried that they might not see much of her one day. We had a big celebration that evening. Her sister took many pictures of us together. There was a big dinner that night, champagne and wine, and many toasts were made.

This was another day that I will not forget. My journal entry for this day was quite long and descriptive. I was so moved, shocked, stunned, and a little numb. A fiance? I have a fiance? This woman will be my.... wife! ??! Huh??? My wife. She is to be my wife. I will be her husband. This kept bouncing around inside my head, and it was both unsettling and so wonderfully exciting at the same time. I also started to feel the burden of what I would have to do. I would have to return to the U.S. soon, and find a job, and save up enough money to bring her over AND support her and me both. Oh, and the infamous and dreaded paperwork that I had heard so much about, yet knew so little about. And I would have to grow up quickly and mature even more, to the "next level", whatever that may be.

Something that made me feel good, was that later after we became engaged I asked her exactly how many times she'd been proposed to before, and she thought for a while, then said "7 or 8 times". A couple of these guys did not know her that well, but a few were former boyfriends. I asked more questions, and I found out that some of the other men were extremely rich, especially when compared to me. It just served to pound home again that she isn't interested in me for my money (what money?) because she also knew that I would have very little money after my return. On a humorous note, I asked her exactly how she responded to these proposals, and I found out her responses varied from "No", to "We'll see", to "NEVER!".

---- To be continued in POST #10 ----

[Clay]

... in response to Deckard's trip report - POST #9, posted by Deckard on Jan 23, 2002

Man-o-man, and I swore I'd never read a romance novel - EVER, but this stuff has got me droolin'.  You should consider finding yourself a few MB of space on a server somewheres and posting it all up there - along with your pictures!  I'd read it!

Clay

[Ramblin]

... in response to Deckard's trip report - POST #9, posted by Deckard on Jan 23, 2002

congratulations!

[williethesheik]

... in response to Deckard's trip report - POST #9, posted by Deckard on Jan 23, 2002

Decard
I loved your trip reoprts. I hope this is not the last.
They had me spellbound. I know you have left out a lot, but what was presented was very interesting.
as for the jobs, at 25, you with her by your side, have a bright future ahead. At 55 I have watched several trucking companies close there doors,owing me money,over the last 33 years, and I survived.
Best of wishes to both of you.

[Deckard]

... in response to Re: Deckard's trip report - POST #9, posted by williethesheik on Jan 23, 2002

hi willie,

I've got more things to write about. I'm glad you're liking it so far.

Thanks,

-Deckard

[Rags]

... in response to Deckard's trip report - POST #9, posted by Deckard on Jan 23, 2002

Your reports are really a good read and a taste of what some very lucky fellows can look forward to if they take their time, listen to advice (at least 90% of it), and use their brains.

Congratulations to the both of you and good luck in your job search. What lies before you is not easy but the rewards are well worth the effort.

Compared to my expiriences, you got off easy though. I proposed to my wife in Semiez (near Yalta) twice on consecutive nights and got only a "mozhet' bit" ("it can be" or "maybe"). I was totally freaked because by this time as I knew that it was either her or a life without love. (Later she admitted that she knew that she would say "yes" eventually.) The third night we were at the same cafe again and as usual, the only ones there. The hostess slipped in a tape of American music and the third song (three's the charm) was "You say it best when you say nothing at all." We got up and slow danced with some serious eye contact and when we sat back down I reached across the table and touched her ring finger. She just smiled and nodded yes.

[Deckard]

... in response to Re: Deckard's trip report - POST #9, posted by Rags on Jan 23, 2002


Hey Rags,

Luda and I spent a lot of time in Simiez, while she and I were staying in Alupka. Do you know Alupka? It's actually walking distance from Alupka (albeit kind of a long one).

I think I've got a picture I'll put up with the Diva cliff in the background. You might recognize it, it's the biggest cliff in Simiez coming straight out of the Black Sea.

Man, such a small town, and such a small world.

I liked the story about your engagement, really touching actually. Luda did not say "yes" so easily either, it was very scary when she hesitated... seemed like forever!

-Deck

[Rags]

... in response to Semiez !, posted by Deckard on Jan 24, 2002

Yes, we went to Alupka, the Swallows Nest, and Yalta with our interpeter/guide/driver Eugene from C.R.I.S. Is he the same Eugene that you speak of? One heck of a fine man! (He met us with flowers and chocolates for me to present to V each day that we toured with him.)

We only had five days to spend in Crimea unfortunately but hope to return this summer. There is so much to see there and we both really feel that Eugene is a dear friend.

We decided to stay in Semiez as I loved the small town flavor and Eugene got us a great little flat just a block or so from the "beach". I have to agree that the summer of 2001 was the best of my life...so far.

Did you go to see the Tartar cave towns on your way to Alupka? It was really incredible to have a guide that was willing to hike with you for miles up and down those bluffs and really go the extra distance to make your trip special. I thought that I was just hiring a driver to take us from point A to point B. How wrong I was! I have no doubt that his kind words and reassurances of our compatibilty helped influence V's decision to marry me.

[Mike]

... in response to Deckard's trip report - POST #9, posted by Deckard on Jan 23, 2002

I'm thinking he didn't find a job once he came home. If I tried to write a good story like his I wouldn't have time for a job.

[Deckard]

... in response to Re: Deckard's trip report - POST #9, posted by Mike on Jan 23, 2002


Mike, these reports are the product of about 2 months of writing. I know, they should be better than this, but honestly I would get sick of writing and have to take long breaks from it in order to recover hehe .

It took me two months of trying to get my job back, but I did. I'm now working at the same job I had before.

I lost about 1 year's career advancement over this "excursion".

I have absolutely no regrets, as of now.

Peace,

-Deckard

[ChipShot]

... in response to Re: Deckard's trip report - POST #9, posted by Mike on Jan 23, 2002

There will always be jobs. There really are very few chances in life to find a good partner. Leaving a job is a risk, but with a good plan, it may be worth it. Deckard will have a lifetime of memories with his wife of this trip. How many people at the time of death reflect on that great sales meeting in Ft. Wayne?

[Deckard]

... in response to Re: Re: Deckard's trip report - POST #9, posted by ChipShot on Jan 23, 2002


it was the best trip I've ever had, the best summer I've ever had.

2001 is my favorite year so far .

-Deckard

[John F]

... in response to Deckard's trip report - POST #9, posted by Deckard on Jan 23, 2002

I was one of the guys who kept cautioning you about quitting your job.  I'm very happy for you and Luda.  When it comes to the paperwork, there are a number of us who frequent this board just to help.  We've been throught the paperwork and already have our FSU wives here with us.

Incidentally, if I haven't mentioned to you before my wife is also from Crimea....Yalta.

I wish my first flight into the FSU was as easy as yours.  I flew from Frankfurt non-stop to Simferopol.  The uniformed guards actually wouldn't let the aircrew open the door until they boarded the plane.  Then they herded us into the cattlecars and drove us to the customs / passport control area.  There, more guards made sure we entered the building instead of making a run for it.  It took me a while to buy insurance and clear passport control, but customs was horrible.  The guy wasn't going to be satisfied until he found contraband.  He even pulled out my toiletries bag and went through toothbrushes, electric razor (battery), deoderant, etc.. Finally, he threw up his hands and declared "I can find nothing to charge you for".

John

[Deckard]

... in response to CONGRATULATIONS !!!!!!, posted by John F on Jan 23, 2002


Yeah, I'm glad it's all worked out so far, not without difficulties and hiccups, mind you .

I've a feeling I'll be asking lots of questions about the K1 in the months to come .

I didn't realize then, how lucky I was to get through so easily. It must have been because I came in through Kiev, and so they didn't bother with that flight. I also didn't have much problem leaving and returning to the states.

Yalta is a fun place to visit. It had the feeling of a carnival when I visited there. So much to do, so many places to see, etc. Big tourist attraction.

Unfortunately, there are also many stories of Ukrainian women being kidnapped and taken to Turkey from Yalta (and Odessa I hear).

When Luda and I were there, I was on full alert mode!

-Deckard

[Charles]

... in response to Deckard's trip report - POST #9, posted by Deckard on Jan 23, 2002

Sounds like you've found a wonderful lady.  My wife is also from Simferopol and many of your experiences mirror ours.  Best of luck to you.