Colombia Round Two: La Costa!

[Zon]

10 YEARS?!?!?  Jesus ... let's start with 10 months:)

Live and learn.  High expectations are a bitch.  At least you are dealing with a whole new set of "knowns".  You have more real life information to compare to that which you already experienced.  That only puts a sharper point on you. 

You are a lucky man.

[Jeff S]

Hey Woody. Well, no one said this was going to be fast and easy. You need to hold out for the right one, and that means going through both those that are almost right and those that are completely wrong. Glad you're still optimistic.

[whitey]

Thanks for the update Woody ... sorry things didn't work out.

It can be very hard for a colombiana to accept that a "rich", frequently travelling gringo is not a player ... because virtually every man she will ever have been around is a player or would be given the opportunity. 

So how was the rest of your trip?  Did you get to Barranquilla, or did you stay in Cartagena?  Did you make it out to Santa Marta/El Rodadero?  What were your impressions of the coast and the people vs Medellin?

[fathertime]

don't worry about it woody, sometimes these things happen and it really isn't anybodies fault.

you probably needed to move on and experience some of the other babes in colombia... if you are going to be living there at some point, you are wayyyyy to young to be restricted to one babe.  Did you find yourself thinking the same thing when you enjoying the Colombian life for a few months?

Fathertime!

[Woody]

don't worry about it woody, sometimes these things happen and it really isn't anybodies fault.

you probably needed to move on and experience some of the other babes in colombia... if you are going to be living there at some point, you are wayyyyy to young to be restricted to one babe.  Did you find yourself thinking the same thing when you enjoying the Colombian life for a few months?

Fathertime!

Well, I did experience Barranquilla for a month. If your thing is to go out and get drunk every night, this is the place for you. Otherwise, it is a very boring city. I am not a heavy drinker. I sometimes go months without touching alcohol. In fact, if I was with a woman that was against drinking, it would be a non-issue for me.

Didn't see SM, but the beaches in CTG are terrible. Never been to the carribean, only some lakes, Panama City, FL, and Long Beach, CA. Long Beach is miles better than Cartagena, that is saying something given the quality of Long Beach.

As for the people. I really didn't see much of a difference between Medellin and the coast as far as attitudes, maybe a little more friendly on the coast. But looks wise when it comes to women, Medellin is the hands down winner. There are exceptions, I saw the most beautiful negrita I have ever seen in my life on the plane ride back to the states. I mean, wow. Wish I could have found some excuse to take a pic.

But to address FT: It was a personality type mismatch. She is a worrier, I am a planner. I don't mind being supportive when there is an issue and I try to help mitigate and eliminate issues, but dammit, hearing about it every single day for a week when you know the solution takes time and it will not be resolved until next week is frustrating. Once she was comfortable confiding in me, it became like that about every little problem, she wanted the instant solution when there was none. I would get to continuously hear about any issues until they were resolved.

I knew this would cause me to eventually resent her if I had stayed with her. Combine that with living in Colombia, and I probably would have ended up doing things that would hurt her much worse than ending things now. Lord knows I had the opportunity, it was a struggle during my final week with her. If I was that tempted this early in the relationship, lord help me this was not going to work.

This does have one very annoying side effect. No partner to take skiing in Argentina next summer. Guess I'll just skip snowboarding next year.

[fathertime]

Well, I did experience Barranquilla for a month. If your thing is to go out and get drunk every night, this is the place for you. Otherwise, it is a very boring city. I am not a heavy drinker. I sometimes go months without touching alcohol. In fact, if I was with a woman that was against drinking, it would be a non-issue for me.

Didn't see SM, but the beaches in CTG are terrible. Never been to the carribean, only some lakes, Panama City, FL, and Long Beach, CA. Long Beach is miles better than Cartagena, that is saying something given the quality of Long Beach.

As for the people. I really didn't see much of a difference between Medellin and the coast as far as attitudes, maybe a little more friendly on the coast. But looks wise when it comes to women, Medellin is the hands down winner. There are exceptions, I saw the most beautiful negrita I have ever seen in my life on the plane ride back to the states. I mean, wow. Wish I could have found some excuse to take a pic.

But to address FT: It was a personality type mismatch. She is a worrier, I am a planner. I don't mind being supportive when there is an issue and I try to help mitigate and eliminate issues, but dammit, hearing about it every single day for a week when you know the solution takes time and it will not be resolved until next week is frustrating. Once she was comfortable confiding in me, it became like that about every little problem, she wanted the instant solution when there was none. I would get to continuously hear about any issues until they were resolved.

I knew this would cause me to eventually resent her if I had stayed with her. Combine that with living in Colombia, and I probably would have ended up doing things that would hurt her much worse than ending things now. Lord knows I had the opportunity, it was a struggle during my final week with her. If I was that tempted this early in the relationship, lord help me this was not going to work.

This does have one very annoying side effect. No partner to take skiing in Argentina next summer. Guess I'll just skip snowboarding next year.

Hey woody!
put this woman behind you, there are millions to choose from.
if the women of Med are your speed physically then obviously that is where you need to go.  Personally I don't plan much ahead anymore, we just take each day as it comes, that type of attitude meshes well with many of the ladies of Colombia, although it can get you in some trouble here in the USA.

I didn't drink very much in barranquilla, i think it was the people you hung out with.  if that is not your speed, you gotta find a different type of group to spend time with. you are young, what is stopping you from going right back to Colombia next week and enjoying med.?

i lived in long beach for quite a while here in CA, it is a nothing beach, no waves. You should have seen huntington beach, newport beach, or about two dozen others in CA.  I also didn't think too much of the beach in Cartagena.

Fathertime!

[Kiltboy1]

Woody
Sorry it did not work out but like FT and others, just clear your mind and get back on the horse because there are a lot of great women out there and one thing I would recommend is to try to look for a woman that lives in a place you enjoy visiting or someday living because  you will be making trips, visiting family etc for many years and the worst is to dislike the place you have to visit. Check other countries out too. The world is a big place.

Good Luck

KB

[ignorante]

Sorry it did not work out, but it was a great thread, Woody, and we much appreciate you posting your experience here.

[Researcher]

   Woody, She wasn't the right one for you so it sounds to me like it did work out for the best.If I were in your position I would not be in a hurry to settle down with one chick.


  Researcher

[Gato4Astrid]

Woody

Sorry it did not work out for you, but I hope you had a great trip to remember by, because you were in Colombia for too long!   You are only 27 years old - plenty of time for you!    Now, I see that you are looking for "Phillppines"    

[Woody]

Woody

Sorry it did not work out for you, but I hope you had a great trip to remember by, because you were in Colombia for too long!   You are only 27 years old - plenty of time for you!    Now, I see that you are looking for "Phillppines"    

Yep. So far that is turning into an excellent decision. I'll find out in another three months. I'll be in the Philippines from ~5 May to ~5 June (Haven't nailed down exact dates yet). Should be interesting!

[dennislevy]

I ve read this thread and let me reply as someone who has dated women in a lot of different places in Colombia.

I happen to like watching woman and every day I can find 20 women in Baranquilla if Im in Baranquilla  or 20 women in Bogota if Im in Bogota  or 20 women in Monteria...and I m still in Monteria that will turn my head. .....but probably not Maicao...jejejeje and that has been the one exception in all my travels in Colombia.

Women in Colombia are plentiful and beautiful. I am attracted to different types of physical beauty....but when a man writes I like the women from this part of Colombia better then the women from that part....with respect, I think it s a superficial appreciation.

because we would never write.....I like the women in Michigan better then the women in Alabama or I like the women in New York better then the women in Chicago.

Right.....

At least write..... I get turned on dark morenas or coal black negras or triguenas with jet black hair. Now that is a more diurect and honest outlook.

And I remember my own evolution. although I always had a yen for women with olive or cinnamon skin, in the US I almost always dated or was married to white women until 2008, My first foray with a woman out of the US was with a Russian woman with alabaster white skin

but now here in Colombia, blanca, trigueña, morena negra, brown cinnamon, coal black.....I ve become color blind, THANK GOD.....and what I look for is a heart and a brain and values, and passion.  

[utopiacowboy]

What makes you think we would not write that we like the women in Austin, Texas better than the women in New York city? Of course we would. There are huge differences in the the types of women in various parts of the US even though particular individuals may not fall within those generalities. Such is definitely the case in Colombia. Huge differences between the paisas and the costenos.

[AndyLee]

When I was in Boston I saw lots of red heads with freckles, descendants of Irish and English immigrants. Also when I was in Boston I saw lots of olive skin with coal black hair and somber black eyes. These are descended from Mediterranean and Jewish  immigrants. Then I also saw lots of Slavic, blonde, blue eyes descended from European immigrants.
when I was in Los Angeles, some of the above plus the Latinas. In Seattle, some of the above but also lots of Native American ancestry. In Missouri lots of home grown white girls, don't know and don't care what ancestry. All this is to say, yeah, I would differentiate between regions in US just as I would in Colombia. That it is all superficial is true, but still, I like Italian and Latina girls more than I like Irish and English girls, so I would tend to gravitate towards the sections of any particular region that has the look I'm most attracted to. But, lucky for me, in Colombia I like them all so it's no big deal what city or what region I'm in, they all turn me on

[Researcher]

     I'm with you AndyLee.When I was looking all of the women had something about them that I found attractive.


     Researcher

[dennislevy]

OK,you guys have weighed im. but curiously enough. I never read a post until now where a guy even MENTIONED his regional ethnic or racial prefereces among women in the US.

After three years here, I ve learned that terms like costeña or paisa are at best regional identications, they don t mean much more then that.

[Researcher]

     Hey Dennis, It's regional identifications AND all the generalized characteristics that go with them.



     Researcher

[dennislevy]

Rsearcher

Yes, I know that...but what Im saying si that the gneralized regjinal characterisitcs  are stereotypes....there are costeñas who don t want to dance all night, there are paisas without cash registers in their souls, etc. And I don tthink there is a specific Pais alook or a costena look, what we can say is that there are fewer caucasians and much more women of color on the ocast...but the variety is well......varied.

There are specific finite gene pools that are identified with a region, for instance, the pale white skin and jet black har of some women in and around Medellin, certainly the slender long legged negras of Choco, the women of the wayuu tribe  in La Guajira, but there are alos lebanese Moselms in la Guajira and also in a town I was in today....Lorica, an hour south of Monteria in Cordoba.  And there are morenas and trigueñas in Choco as wel.  The longer Im here the more i see and understnad that  Colombia has a diverse society...it isn t Brazil...but its diverse.

[utopiacowboy]

I'm sure that I have mentioned a preference for Jewish women. As for the types, the Colombians will be the first to talk about the different types and they emphasize regional differences as much as Americans do.