Colombia Round Two: La Costa!

[fathertime]

So, things certainly did not go as expected yesterday. I thought things were done and the lunch was going to be the last time we saw each other. I was expecting a cold reception at lunch and almost didn't go. Looks like the session where I thought it was over and she was too hurt was her venting. Really, if that is as bad as she gets when she is pissed(for good reason), starting her next menstrual cycle, and has a language barrier to overcome then this is too easy.

Before I said that we had a heartfelt conversation, well I was wrong. What we had last night was a heartfelt conversation. All the cards are on the table and now things are really good between us. Honestly, yesterday confused the hell out of me and I am just taking things easy for the next few days to see what unfolds.

So, it will probably be a few days before I update you guys on the situation. I need more data to make a proper evaluation.

i see no harm in letting things continue to play out with your pretty girl...you have time so using it seems to be the best option for you.  not only to assess her, but to assess yourself, your perspective might change in ways you don't expect.

you can't let little things bother you too much and overreact. that being said...certain things demand a reaction and it will be up to you to navigate which is which, getting guidance is sometimes warranted.  I know my arse was saved early on, by a poster who helped me tremendously when i was preparing to overreact, so use the board when appropriate. 

Good luck!
Fathertime!

[Woody]

Things are definitely better now.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=146203835396281

[Gato4Astrid]

Things are definitely better now.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=146203835396281

wow very impressive and nice couple!

[Gato4Astrid]

 I am a manager for the company that I work for and half the employees show up late on a daily basis.

Then why do you still keep these employees    SACK THEM!  If they always show up late, you can always sack them and replace with them.  They should show respect and be there on time!   

[Dan Las Vegas]

Great video Woody!!!  Looks like things have turned around again for you! 

Good luck

Dan LV

[eddie316]

Then why do you still keep these employees   SACK THEM!  If they always show up late, you can always sack them and replace with them.  They should show respect and be there on time!  

Problem is the people you replace them with are the same way, and they are highly paid and experienced professionals.

Anyway I don't want to get this thread of course. Let's get back to Woddy's trip.

[ignorante]

Things are definitely better now.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=146203835396281

  Well, I cannot see Facebook, but it has been weeks!  Did you get kidnapped?   
I was finally prompted to join this site to get an update on this thread, Woody!   

[Woody]

  Well, I cannot see Facebook, but it has been weeks!  Did you get kidnapped?   
I was finally prompted to join this site to get an update on this thread, Woody!   

Sorry, really nothing to report anymore. I am now in Barranquilla with Dani and it is a pretty normal relationship now. It has ups and downs. The "magic" is gone, just what you would expect from a normal couple now.

The most challenging thing is that I have to keep reminding myself that she is 19, as some of the things she says and does reflect that. That was to be expected when dating someone so young, it is just that there are periods when I forget that because she is so intelligent.

Let us be honest, Barranquilla is a boring city. There is no way I could live here retired, I need to have something to do during the day as there really isn't anything here. So, if I eventually live here, I will still work/teach just to keep myself occupied.

The other thing about Barranquilla, and this is the opposite of what everyone else says, is that the women here are pretty plain by Colombian standards. In Medellin I would see 10-20 chicks a day that would cause me to turn my head as they walked by. In Barranquilla I see maybe 2-3 per day. It is all about the face. The women in Medellin tend to have a facial structure that I am more attracted to. Maybe that is a good thing now that I am in this relationship. 

[Jeff S]

Sounds like it's carrying on the normal course of things. That's good . Glad to hear it's going well.

On the boredom side, welcome to real life. Time to take up an intellectual hobby/ pursuit/ education whatever. You can't just drink, mountain bike or go fishing every day. It is why they used to have you paint the bottom of rocks in the military - to keep you occupied so you don't get bored and into trouble.

[Zon]

Quote - "The "magic" is gone"

That was  pretty short fuse.  Don't settle out of convenience. 

19 is a tad on the young side.  Great to play with ... less able to make life choices.

[fathertime]

Sorry, really nothing to report anymore. I am now in Barranquilla with Dani and it is a pretty normal relationship now. It has ups and downs. The "magic" is gone, just what you would expect from a normal couple now.

The most challenging thing is that I have to keep reminding myself that she is 19, as some of the things she says and does reflect that. That was to be expected when dating someone so young, it is just that there are periods when I forget that because she is so intelligent.

Let us be honest, Barranquilla is a boring city. There is no way I could live here retired, I need to have something to do during the day as there really isn't anything here. So, if I eventually live here, I will still work/teach just to keep myself occupied.

The other thing about Barranquilla, and this is the opposite of what everyone else says, is that the women here are pretty plain by Colombian standards. In Medellin I would see 10-20 chicks a day that would cause me to turn my head as they walked by. In Barranquilla I see maybe 2-3 per day. It is all about the face. The women in Medellin tend to have a facial structure that I am more attracted to. Maybe that is a good thing now that I am in this relationship. 

You should be in the city where you find the women most attractive, if baq doesn’t do it for you, then go to Med. If/when you are finished with your gal pal.  For me baq. is/was the style of babe I liked best so it would be a no-brainer for me to go back there if I ever needed to.   

The magic of the first few weeks is addicting to many a man (and woman), if you feel the need to experience that again, you know what you need to do.  These things do happen! If this babe is treating you well though, you really gotta think it through because that is all that a man should really need, after he has experienced what he needs to experience.
 
Good luck with it all!

Fathertime!

[Zon]

Lo siento!    I man should be looking for a hell of a lot more than just this - Quote - "If this babe is treating you well though, you really gotta think it through because that is all that a man should really need"

If a guy thinks "that is all he needs," he is the flavor vanilla, and just a couple steps away from getting a lobotomy.  A man should have low expectations until meeting and knowing a women. I think the magic should stick around longer than one week.  And, I think only after a man has experienced many desirable choices that fit this criteria, is he able to chose and not regret his choice through out life.

It is not hard to find a woman who is reasonable clean and responsive to give a man attention and care.  But that is what God made dogs for.  C'mon shoot for the stars

[fathertime]

Lo siento!    I man should be looking for a hell of a lot more than just this - Quote - "If this babe is treating you well though, you really gotta think it through because that is all that a man should really need"

If a guy thinks "that is all he needs," he is the flavor vanilla, and just a couple steps away from getting a lobotomy.  A man should have low expectations until meeting and knowing a women. I think the magic should stick around longer than one week.  And, I think only after a man has experienced many desirable choices that fit this criteria, is he able to chose and not regret his choice through out life.

It is not hard to find a woman who is reasonable clean and responsive to give a man attention and care.  But that is what God made dogs for.  C'mon shoot for the stars

 Yes I know that is how some men think, which provides these men a viable excuse (if they feel they need one) to be in a continuous search mode.  As a slightly older man I’m not as fussy/picky and don’t expect a woman to be the moon, sun, and stars.  A good woman for me is one that treats me well, it is given that she be attractive, clean, and responsive to my needs.  That is all most men need, as far as being ‘favor vanilla’ I happen to like vanilla, as well as chocolate so I see no problem with that. 

 I think woody was with his woman for more than a week (as you suggest in your post) and in my experience that ‘magic’ is strongest in the first few weeks, after that a state of steady happiness is all I would ask.  He is much younger, he may want more or a sampling of different flavors, nobody can begrudge him that, he can listen to different viewpoints and make whichever call works for him.    If I were going to live in Colombia, I don’t know that I would be tied to any one woman, unless I wanted to have a traditional nuclear family.  This would be very difficult to do in Colombia with the short skirts giving ‘that look’, that I’m sure woody gets on a daily basis. 

Fathertime!

[Zon]

Certainly did not mean to jump on ya FT! 

I have kept my eye on this thread and wished Woody the very best.  I did notice that he had raised expectations from the beginning.  I do understand that he is a young guy willing to explore, so I encourage him to shoot for the stars.  Why not?

I seem to always chime in with the same messages:
1, don't think this is easy or fast
2, buy into the culture 100% first - the girl second
3, don't get rolled by a pretty girl - God made a ton of them
4, do not take the deflated value of being a man in the USA to Latin America.
5, Make sure the woman is sincere.  If you have to wonder, then she is is not "that into you"

[utopiacowboy]

I'm with Zon on this one. The magic should last a LOT longer than a couple of weeks. Even now, after seven years of marriage, I'll see my wife and think, "What a little doll!".

[fathertime]

I'm with Zon on this one. The magic should last a LOT longer than a couple of weeks. Even now, after seven years of marriage, I'll see my wife and think, "What a little doll!".

I don’t know if there is any real disagreement here, maybe we are defining different things. 

I feel the same way about my wife after nearly 2 years of time together, but that is quite different than those first few weeks together or pre-together romance.  You might remember what I’m talking about, when suddenly a boner appears in your pants by just looking at her doing the most mundane of things, or your hairs stand on end when her leg brushes against you, that’s the kind of ‘magic’ I’m referring to. If you and zon are experiencing that type of magic after 7 years, then I am jealous because I’m constructed differently.  My love has evolved into something else which is also very pleasant, but different from those first few weeks when I felt I had the world by it's tail. All these years I just assumed everybody’s love would be similar, but maybe I’m mistaken and have been cheated out of something!  I demand more than a few weeks of the 'magic', I want to grab hold of the world's tail again!

Fathertime!

[Zon]

In the interests of full disclosure, I am single.   I am "available, but not soliciting"  Lightning will strike when and if the conditions are right. 

Its all good. I am no wall flower:)

[jm21-2]

I haven't been married for years, but if the magic is fading after just a few weeks I'd be concerned. For me, the chemistry was steadily growing during the time I spent with her (two trips, two weeks each). When she gets here I expect the chemistry to continue growing, at least for some time. I do expect there will be boring spells, but it shouldn't be routine after just a few weeks.

[fathertime]

I haven't been married for years, but if the magic is fading after just a few weeks I'd be concerned. For me, the chemistry was steadily growing during the time I spent with her (two trips, two weeks each). When she gets here I expect the chemistry to continue growing, at least for some time. I do expect there will be boring spells, but it shouldn't be routine after just a few weeks.

You can expect all you want, but that will not physically make it so.  The magic I was describing in my post, will fade for many in a few weeks or maybe a few months even.   Those that expect the really crazy physical part to last for much longer may be in for a rude awakening.  I’m not saying there is not a huge attraction throughout a marriage (because there is for me), but that first few weeks is off the charts for me, imagine a borderline middle aged man walking around with a permaboner.   At least that is how I experience it, but I don't have that permaboner now after a year or two together.    

Now JM21-2, based on what you have written, you are with a nice Asian lady who may not care to have premarital sex at all due to cultural differences.  If that is the case then I can see how you are still in the building up stage after seeing her for two weeks a couple times.  Really either way, a couple weeks is well within that crazy physical period I am describing.  

Relating this back to old woodchip, if he is not feeling that same ‘magic’ he felt the first times he was with his babe, that is no reason to panic and move on.  There are plenty of other reasons to move on, but I don’t see that as one of them necessarily.  It would be terribly difficult to be a young and desirable male, and stay monogamous in Colombia.  


Fathertime!

[utopiacowboy]

With any woman that you've started a new relationship with, there is the "newness" factor and of course, that has to wear off. I remember wondering to myself "How am I ever going to get any sleep with this woman?". There is no way that can last but it is replaced by something equally good or better.

[Researcher]

   IMO, not everyone is looking for the same thing.There is nothing wrong with that and it seems that things play out differently for different people.When I came to a point that I finally knew what I wanted in a woman it didn't seem to take too long to find it."Newness" always wears off, that's why it is called "newness".I looked for qualities that I was compatable with and that fit into the kind of life I wanted for myself.The relationship I have with my wife is by far the best I have had.


  Researcher

[ignorante]

Sorry, really nothing to report anymore. I am now in Barranquilla with Dani and it is a pretty normal relationship now. It has ups and downs. The "magic" is gone, just what you would expect from a normal couple now.

The most challenging thing is that I have to keep reminding myself that she is 19, as some of the things she says and does reflect that. That was to be expected when dating someone so young, it is just that there are periods when I forget that because she is so intelligent.

Let us be honest, Barranquilla is a boring city. There is no way I could live here retired, I need to have something to do during the day as there really isn't anything here. So, if I eventually live here, I will still work/teach just to keep myself occupied.

The other thing about Barranquilla, and this is the opposite of what everyone else says, is that the women here are pretty plain by Colombian standards. In Medellin I would see 10-20 chicks a day that would cause me to turn my head as they walked by. In Barranquilla I see maybe 2-3 per day. It is all about the face. The women in Medellin tend to have a facial structure that I am more attracted to. Maybe that is a good thing now that I am in this relationship. 

  Time for your monthly status update to the P-L board! 

[Alabamaboy!]

The most impressive thing I noticed in Barranquilla was the bodies. The faces are sometimes normal but then KABOOM! Stunning. But lately since there are more fast food places there, it seems like they are starting to get a bit plump and not so many knockouts flitting around. But still beats the hell out of anything I have seen here in the States outside of South FL.

[whitey]

Yeah Woody ... time for an update ... how are things going?!

[Woody]

Yeah Woody ... time for an update ... how are things going?!

Dead. Not really unexpected. I decided to end the relationship. The fact of the matter is that I was not the kind of emotional security blanket that she needed. Yeah, I took a big gamble by dating so young, it didn't pay off. Bright and smart girl, but we were on two different emotional wavelengths. Unfortunately she thinks I am a player, and I can't really fault her logic from her perspective, so I decided it would do less damage to her to just accept that she thinks I am a player and move on.

Oh well, better luck next time. Not quite sure when next time will be, I am going through a period of uncertainty regarding my next 10 years as far as work and living locations are. I should have things more sorted on that sometime next year, then I will have a much clearer picture. Next trip wasn't planned until May/June anyways, so no rush.