Colombia Round Two: La Costa!

[vallenatoman]

hmmm someone posted this in another thread in the other latin thread the general i was wondering do the girls really think this way?

"
And, Mudd is 100% correct.  After the girls get a good look at all the "winners" that travel to Colombia to meet and marry them, yeah, they don't exactly show up on time.  It is just another compromised alternative. 
"

I remembered this thread and how the lady didnt show .... is this a real problem down there now?

[Researcher]

    Punctuality is not very important in the latin world.Time is just a reference just like traffic laws are really just suggestions.My wife is an exception.Being on time is important to her, I like that.

    I always suggest not rushing into anything when it comes to this process.Something always seems to come up that has to be dealt with.Two people from different cultures especially need to take some time to get to know each other. That's my opinion anyway.


  Researcher

[Woody]

Researcher really hit the nail on the head....

Well, that didn't last long. Just finished a three hour MSN conversation with her. She will probably change her Facebook relationship status in a day or so, I'll let her do it so she can save face and be the one that dumped me. Sigh... Not anything I did, it was something I said earlier today. I was too honest with her and my misunderstanding really hurt her, deep. I am not going to say what it was, I can now sit back and laugh at myself, but I would rather forgo the public ridicule for such a basic human interaction mistake.

Lunch with her and her mom tomorrow, but I think we are done after that. Friends, maybe.

Looks like after tomorrow I will just do what I seem to be good at, stumbling into relationships and learning more Spanish the best way, immersion.

[Researcher]

Oh, and yes, I could have handled things better today. I know that and have no problem admitting that.

   You probably handled it better that I would have in my younger days.

   Once in Cali I was on a date with a chica that I was considering being exclusive with.It was about our 3rd date and the sparks were flyin' between us.We were at Chipechapi when out of the blue she seemed distant.Then she flew all over me about what seemed to be nothing.I decided that this chica had a screw loose so I'd better ditch her.I downplayed her outburst and she calmed down.When we arrived at the apartment I was staying at I made sure she had enough taxi money to get home.As I exited the taxi she said "hasta luego" to which I replied "no, adios".I simply explained that I didn't think we were right for one another and that it was over between us.She had tears in her eyes as the taxi drove off and I was glad I saw the psycho side of her before it was too late.


  Researcher

[vallenatoman]

Researcher really hit the nail on the head....

Well, that didn't last long. Just finished a three hour MSN conversation with her. She will probably change her Facebook relationship status in a day or so, I'll let her do it so she can save face and be the one that dumped me. Sigh... Not anything I did, it was something I said earlier today. I was too honest with her and my misunderstanding really hurt her, deep. I am not going to say what it was, I can now sit back and laugh at myself, but I would rather forgo the public ridicule for such a basic human interaction mistake.

Lunch with her and her mom tomorrow, but I think we are done after that. Friends, maybe.

Looks like after tomorrow I will just do what I seem to be good at, stumbling into relationships and learning more Spanish the best way, immersion.

Wow woody i am truly sorry that this happend.

I am kinda shocked i expected maybe an argument then make up!

How did it go from really great time to broke up

I thought you had a great lady ...

Woody do you think she would have been the one had the argument not arisen?

[Zon]

ValMan - " I am kinda shocked i expected maybe an argument then make up!
How did it go from really great time to broke up Sad
I thought you had a great lady ...
Woody do you think she would have been the one had the argument not arisen? "

ARE YOU SERIOUS?  I would have been surprised if the opposite would have happened after such a fast start and build up ... LOVE AND HAPPILY EVER AFTER?  Does anybody believe it is really that easy?   (not to say it is impossible so fast, but it is very very rare)

[Dan Las Vegas]

Sorry to hear that things did not work out woody, but better to break if off early before you have too much invested in the relationship if you are not comfortable with the way things are going.

Good luck

Dan LV

[eddie316]

I have 2 things to say:

1: Live fast and die young.
2: If you think being late is a "latin" thing you are up in the night. I am a manager for the company that I work for and half the employees show up late on a daily basis. Customers are always late, vendors are always late. Being late is an individual thing with many factors involved, main factor is the person really doesn't give a crap enough to be on time.

[fathertime]

well woody,  from what i gathered from your posts you are annoyed that your woman was very late...i can understand that, but i don't know if it is worth throwing her away over that issue...like you said in another post you should just go about your day..as a general rule if you are to meet at 3:30 and the woman is not there by 3:45 and there is no phone call then you just leave, and let her contact you wherever you happen tobe, she can take another taxi to that site...i would think after an experience or two like that the lady would learn she had better at least call if she is late.
anywhoo, perhaps you will make up with your pretty lady, if not, you can enjoy plenty of other ladies which isn't all bad either...

Fathertime!

[Researcher]

    Eddie, are your employees 2 hours late everyday? I would say that they(your employees) don't care many people in places like Colombia are often late because getting from place to place isn't as easily done as here in the US.Not everyone has a car and the traffic...? forget about it.IMO, that is why being late is generally accepted and why no one calls when they are not on time.It is just a common thing. Getting around isn't easy and I learned to be a little more relaxed about it because if I would have let it get to me, I would have had a massive heart attack from the stress.Realize one thing when you travel to SA: you are not in the US(or Kansas anymore).

    Woody, one way I handled this kind of thing was to ask the ladies to call me if they were going to be late.It worked sometimes but it ia always good to have a backup plan whether it is with your time or ladies.


 Researcher

[Gato4Astrid]

My wife is the same way - she has absolutely no need/desire to become a US citizen. In fact, I really haven't encouraged it at all either because there are way too many advantages for both of us if she remains a Chinese citizen. 

I love Chinese culture...... I sell Chinese Traditional clothing for living.   Chinese clothing will never be out of fashion.  What they wore in 1920, still wearing today!  I have over 2,000 Chinese dresses and about 200 Men's Jackets, Men's Long Gowns, Men's Kung-Fu Suits.  I even have Bruce Lee's, Jackie Chan's jackets (not original, of course).   You would be amazing who had bought all these clothing - people from all races, colours - not just Chinese/Oriental people!

All these, I have never looked at Chinese women! lol

[Gato4Astrid]

family owns a designer garment business,

Off topic:  I am interested in knowing what kind of designer garment business the family owns.  I am a fashion buyer, specialist in Chinese/Oriental Fashion, but I am not limited to it.  I also sell Evening/Cocktail dresses (Non-Oriental too).

[Alabamaboy!]

    Eddie, are your employees 2 hours late everyday? I would say that they(your employees) don't care many people in places like Colombia are often late because getting from place to place isn't as easily done as here in the US.Not everyone has a car and the traffic...? forget about it.IMO, that is why being late is generally accepted and why no one calls when they are not on time.It is just a common thing. Getting around isn't easy and I learned to be a little more relaxed about it because if I would have let it get to me, I would have had a massive heart attack from the stress.Realize one thing when you travel to SA: you are not in the US(or Kansas anymore).

    Woody, one way I handled this kind of thing was to ask the ladies to call me if they were going to be late.It worked sometimes but it ia always good to have a backup plan whether it is with your time or ladies.


 Researcher

And if she says she cannot call because her cell does not work or whatever other reason, she is probably lying because there are guys on the corners with cell phones for local calls that charge like 200 COP or something like that. So she should be able to call.

I like FT's advice. Just continue living your day if she is late. And if you are there to meet women and have fun, then do that. She will get the picutre real quick. Tell her you went out to lunch with a friend to practice your Spanish. And actually do that. If she cares about you at all she will not mess up so frequently after that.

[Woody]

So, things certainly did not go as expected yesterday. I thought things were done and the lunch was going to be the last time we saw each other. I was expecting a cold reception at lunch and almost didn't go. Looks like the session where I thought it was over and she was too hurt was her venting. Really, if that is as bad as she gets when she is pissed(for good reason), starting her next menstrual cycle, and has a language barrier to overcome then this is too easy.

Before I said that we had a heartfelt conversation, well I was wrong. What we had last night was a heartfelt conversation. All the cards are on the table and now things are really good between us. Honestly, yesterday confused the hell out of me and I am just taking things easy for the next few days to see what unfolds.

So, it will probably be a few days before I update you guys on the situation. I need more data to make a proper evaluation.

[Researcher]

      Yeah Woody, these latinas can be emotional at times and need to just blow off some steam(especially at certain times of the month).You're a level headed guy and probably will do well whatever you decide.If you are really interested in this lady just be straight up and don't play games.In the end it will all work out for the best.



    Researcher

[whitey]

Hey Woody ... glad to hear there's still some hope!

One of the things I said to Nazly when we were still just friends is that during the course of our relationship it is certain there will be times when we don't understand each other, either due to language differences or cultural differences/expectations.  And that undoubtedly this may lead to arguments and hurt feelings.

I asked her to keep in mind that if this should happen, to always first assume that my intentions were good, even if I committed some kind of error ... and that I would do the same for her.  And that we should ask questions and discuss things first, before making assumptions and becoming upset.  This is even more important for us since we are apart so much and our relationship is largely conducted through text, video, and voice.

This has worked pretty well for us so far, although I'm under no illusions that we won't have some arguments.  It also helps that we're both pretty calm people, and if anything tend to be conflict-avoiders (which is not necessarily always a good thing).

Heck, it's very difficult for men and women to understand each other even when we have the same cultural background and language!  Ah, but getting to know a new person, language, and culture all at the same time is both the challenge and the fun ... 

Suerte amigo ...

[Jeff S]

Being late is an individual thing with many factors involved, main factor is the person really doesn't give a crap enough to be on time.

Yup.

Hey Woody - It's good to get things like what you're willing to and willing not to put up with, out in the open early on. That way it's not all peaches and cream until it's too late and her name is on the title to your house. Don't take this as a bad thing - just one of the things you have to go through to succeed, whether you two work things out or not.

We've had many conversations on this board about "face time" spent with your overseas GF. This is exactly why. Spending isolated week or two in an exotic country on vacation holding hands does not constitute dating - that opportunity to see what the other person is REALLY like and for them to see your good and bad sides.

[vallenatoman]

Wow woody!

Well im glad i put in my 2cents advice... i was right and glad to see my way of thinking and dealing with things are on the right path! it definitely gives me more confidence that even after years of not dating/being around/being involved with a latina, i still understand how to do it at a core level.

Yea sometimes you have to step back...look at the situation and understand that they can be hot headed at times and opinionated

But as i said earlier....if shes worth it... give her the chance .. but if this kind of thing becomes a common occurrence well then you better think twice.

[Zon]

It ain't party until something breaks

[utopiacowboy]

Hey Woody ... glad to hear there's still some hope!

One of the things I said to Nazly when we were still just friends is that during the course of our relationship it is certain there will be times when we don't understand each other, either due to language differences or cultural differences/expectations.  And that undoubtedly this may lead to arguments and hurt feelings.

I asked her to keep in mind that if this should happen, to always first assume that my intentions were good, even if I committed some kind of error ... and that I would do the same for her.  And that we should ask questions and discuss things first, before making assumptions and becoming upset.  This is even more important for us since we are apart so much and our relationship is largely conducted through text, video, and voice.

This has worked pretty well for us so far, although I'm under no illusions that we won't have some arguments.  It also helps that we're both pretty calm people, and if anything tend to be conflict-avoiders (which is not necessarily always a good thing).

Heck, it's very difficult for men and women to understand each other even when we have the same cultural background and language!  Ah, but getting to know a new person, language, and culture all at the same time is both the challenge and the fun ... 

Suerte amigo ...

Very good advice. My wife and I have had our share of misunderstandings but we always assumed that the other persons intentions were good and worked it out from there. In some ways the language barrier worked to our advantage - we always had to be very careful in our communications. 

[jm21-2]

Good to get some of the arguments out of the way while you're there. It is a lot harder to resolve things long distance, imho.

[Jeff S]

Very good advice. My wife and I have had our share of misunderstandings but we always assumed that the other persons intentions were good and worked it out from there. In some ways the language barrier worked to our advantage - we always had to be very careful in our communications. 

I've always said that too, about the language barrier. You have to pick your words carefully and take time relaying them. It tends to defuse a lot of emotion and blurting out things you may regret later.

[Researcher]

    IMO, being patient is a must.The language barrier can make it more difficult when working through cultural differences, such as attitudes about being "on time."It takes effort on both to  understand where the other is coming from.It also helps to try and not look at things through the eyes of a gringo also.


  Researcher

[whitey]

Woody, have you been in barrio Getsemani yet?

I've never been outside the old walled city or Boca Grande (except to go to el Castilo de San Felipe) and am thinking about at least taking a walk through the neighbourhood.  Seems from the map it's pretty close to the old city, and I know there are a number of hostels and cheaper hotels there.

Any idea of the safety for walking around during the day or night?  If you haven't checked it out yet, would you mind asking Dani what she thinks?

Thanks ... Whitey

[Researcher]

   Woody, since you like adventure have you considered going to see The Lost City near Santa Marta?