Language Barrier

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: CV, let's exchange emails about this..., posted by Cali vet on Oct 11, 2002

n/t.

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: There's nothing wrong with RINGERS, posted by Tai on Oct 10, 2002

Tai,

LOL !!!! OK. I still stand by my conviction of not getting married too quickly. It so happens that a decent guy who posts here, and I have respect for, did propose quickly and it worked for him. Great !!!!!!!! But, I would NEVER advise anyone to do it. AND because I'm human myself, if anyone ever catches me doing something like that, TRY TO TALK ME OUT OF IT !!!!!!!!!

I'm not saying that quick courtships can't lead to successful and happy marriages, but I'm just saying that it's awfully risky, and even riskier given the context of going to marriage agencies in present day Colombia.

If a guy finds true love and is happy, then great. I'm all for that. But, I advise to test the water before you cook with it. That's all.

Now for the ringer bit. One thing that I don't like is when agencies keep the prettier women, who have already become serious with someone else, in their books as current and available. They do this just to attract business. Yep, sometimes that gets me worked up myself.
The other thing that I don't like is when there is a girl who is not serious about finding and marrying a gringo, but is only involved in the thing to get gifts, money, and other things. In my definition, that's a PLAYER.

For me, a ringer is a girl who a guy calls and calls, but she refuses to show because she isn't interested. That is totally fine if a woman does this. I would do it myself.
Also, there is nothing wrong if a girl decides to cancel a date with a gringo; or goes out with many gringos before getting serious with one in particular; or even says she wants to just be friends with a gringo before getting serious. A guy has to make a personal decision. Whether or not to pursue, or to just leave it alone. Who knows where the relationship will lead to? But, when a girl says that she doesn't want to meet a guy for a cita, then she's not interested. The guy can spend his 10.000 pesos on someone else, or go out alone.

Aaron

[Cali vet]

... in response to Ringers and such ........LOL !!!!!!, posted by Aaron on Oct 10, 2002

A friend from the board who is here in Cali just told me he had a date from an agency the other night and in the taxi the girl admited she had a serious boyfriend. Asked the obvious question she "I was just curious".

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: Ringers and such ........LOL !!!!!!, posted by Cali vet on Oct 10, 2002

CV,

Well, if this is the general connotation of what a ringer is, then I guess the shoe fits. I stand corrected. Sorry Tai. You were right.

She's definitely a player too, because she's out on her boyfriend.

But, then again, maybe she was genuinely interested, and wanted to see what it was like. Atleast she had enough nerve to be honest with the gringo.

I guess she should just see for herself, especially if she wasn't totally happy with her boyfriend.

But, if I was this guy, I would have just took her out, been a gentleman that night, then forgot about her completely the next day. She'll have to decide what she wants for herself.

Aaron

[Cali vet]

... in response to Yep, I believe it. , posted by Aaron on Oct 10, 2002

I think that's exactly what he's going to do and you know what? you're right, I didn't even think about her local boyfriend. If I were him and I found out, she'd be history. I was telling a friend today who wants to vacation in Jamaica she should skip it and go to the Republica Dominicana instead. We got on the subject of local mujeriegos and I told her well in the DR BOTH members of the pareja son infieles.

[Aaron]

... in response to Re: Yep, I believe it. , posted by Cali vet on Oct 10, 2002

n/t

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: There's nothing wrong with RINGERS, posted by Tai on Oct 10, 2002

Tai,  

Glad to see you back and as always in excellent argumentative form!  (-: Where'd you dissappear to the last 6 months or so?

El Diablo

[Tai]

... in response to There's nothing wrong with RINGERS, posted by El Diablo on Oct 10, 2002

Hey, thanks El D,

6 months? Yeah, that sounds about right.

I've been pretty busy, working to get several projects launched. Things are finally winding down, so I have had more time recently.

Congratulations on your engagement and soon to be marriage! That's great news, and I wish you all the best.

Tai

[El Diablo]

... in response to There's nothing wrong with RINGERS, posted by Aaron on Oct 10, 2002

My sentiments also.....

[Celt]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Language Barrier/Latin Encou..., posted by Calipro on Oct 10, 2002

Yes, they do exist, and they are a disservice to the clients of the agency. They will accept as many citas in a
week as they are meals in a week. Each one will take place
at one of the finer restuarants in Cali. She will have a pager/and or cell phone, and take calls for others as she
eats. You will meet many other men in town the same week
who have also paid for her fine dining.

They are not holding out for the 13th good man. They have
no working definition of the kind of man they are looking
for.

Margareth has them, and trots them out in certain circumstances. You are lucky that you were not steered
toward them. I was, and declined. But, they are there.

Luckily, they constitute a small % of the whole, which is
filled with good, lovely, and interesting women.

Good points though.

[El Diablo]

... in response to Ringer defined, posted by Celt on Oct 10, 2002


I think what you're calling a "ringer" might just be a woman who is very particular in her tastes.  Under your definition, I and a lot of other guys might have been considered ringers too.  For instance when I lived in Cali, I had dinner dates all the time, many times a week, sometimes one for lunch, one for dinner and maybe drinks with somebody else.  I probably had dinner dates with at least 50 to 100 different Calenas.  I didn't always know what I was looking for in a Colombian spouse either.  It took me a lot of time to adjust to the culture and to get to know those qualities that I liked and disliked in Latin women.  It was through dating many Colombian women that I learned a lot of things to help prepare me for a better decision.

El Diablo

[Celt]

... in response to Ringer defined, posted by El Diablo on Oct 10, 2002

Excellent points all. I only demur that joining an agency
implies that you are past the stage of self-exploration,
and serious, especially with yourself, about your
motivations and ultimate goals.

Someone in this forum made the point the other day:
sometimes normal guys go down to agencies and start
acting like Players. One should only expect to see
Players on the other side of the agency divide.

But, for those men who are serious and earnest, they should
be cautious during an initial cita when the woman wants to
be taken to one of the finest restaurants in town, when a
simple coffee at a cafE would suffice.

You had the good fortune to take taxis to your dates; these
guys are flying international. It is best to hear all
points of view, and learn lessons quickly, or before the
event.

But, CaliPro (as usual) was correct: know thyself, Player.

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: Ringer defined, posted by Celt on Oct 10, 2002


Joining an agency implies that you are looking for a wife, nothing more or nothing less and no two people go about the process in exactly the same way or in the same time frame.  I am a very cautious person when it comes to marriage, I have my good Catholic upbringing to thank for this.  (-:  Nevertheless it took me a long time to find someone I truly was crazy about, someone I had complete confidence in and someone who felt the same in me.  So for myself, I dated a lot of different gals.

Dating a lot of different guys or gals as in my case does not in and of itself make a person a player nor does it necessarily imply that they are not serious or that they do not know themself.  If your position is that it does, I think you may be projecting your own negative stereotypes on to many people who do not deserve it.  Additionally, I think an argument could be just as easily made that dating around was a sign of maturity or that being particular was not a sign that you didn't know what you want but rather a sign that you did.

Anyway, I think your ringer definition is inadequate....

El Diablo

[Celt]

... in response to Re: Re: Language Barrier/Latin Encounter..., posted by littlebhuddha on Oct 10, 2002

LB,

She will not quote a daily rate; she may in fact deny that
she offers such a thing. You only have to tell her that you
are prepared to pay the daily rate at LatinBest or to walk.
The problem is that she would at this point already view you
as antagonistic or not worth her time.

Shirley can help with the ringer problem.
Slip her 40,000 - 50,000 and ask her not
to call the most popular girls, even if Margaret
suggested them.

Your best source of info is the other men you will meet.
They will know the ringers--by face, reputation, and credit
card slips! Her page 1 ringer is infamous for her dining
requirements. [Another ringer with whom I dined should be
infamous for her dinner table habits!]

Remember that those pictures on the website are like the
auto prices quoted in the newspaper, where the fine print
usually says, "Two available at this price."

Not all women photograph well, nor sparkle at first glance.
There are alot of good women in Cali; spend the extra few
minutes in the agency books to find them. You might also go
around the corner to Ricardo's agency.
He will accept a daily fee gladly. And he is
too straightforward for the
gamesmanship you will find at Margaret's.

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Language Barrier/Latin Encou..., posted by Celt on Oct 10, 2002

Wait, wait! What dinner table habits? Don't leave those of us who don't know her hanging!