I have been watching this Board for sometime.
During this period I have noted a preponderance of negative posts about AM/RW relationships. Many I believed until my experience had been otherwise.
I will try to debunk some of the myths.
BTW; I am an ordinary guy, in my mid forties married to a 28 year old Russian/Lithuanian girl; I have given our photo links on this Board before. We will be celebrating the first anniversary of our being together soon. We both are very happy; it is like a new life for both us.

Myth 1. Majority of FSU women who want to marry AM are looking for a visa and a wy out of there country.

I did not find that to be the case; majority of women in FSU are looking for a good husband; not necessarily a way out of EE. I had to convince my wife to come here; she was  not that much interested in moving to USA; and she would gladly move back to Lithuania, if I agreed to live there. She had a good job there and did fairly well.

Myth 2. Most FSU women are scammers.

May be; that was not my experience.

Myth 3: One should not marry  younger women.

This is the biggest myth of all. I was married to an AW who was my age; the marriage did not last; we had troubles from the first day.
I think age difference strengthens the marriage NOT diminishes it; at least that is my experience. A couple gives each other what their strengths are. Young women are a breath of fresh air; without baggages from previous relationships. And an older man can provide for them the way a younger man cannot.

I have given this example before;  arguably the most admired American of all times married a woman 25 years younger than him; had he not married her, you would have never heard of him; you all kow him; his name is Ronald Reagan.

Myth 4: FSU women are lazy.

I don't think so, my wife puts in a hard day; much more than my AW ever did.

Myth 5: FSU women are unfaithful.

May be, I just don't have any indication that she would be; she is more modest than most AW.

Myth 6: She would leave you after two years.

Leave for where? And why would she leave if she is happy? Without going into details, we have addressed that issue in an agreement between us.

Myth 7; The process is time consuming.

It took me all of six months from the first time I first wrote her to the time she was in USA.

Myth 8; The process is expensive.

It cost me all of $2000, including my trip to Lithuania.

Myth 9: RW have no concept of money.

That has not been my experience. She understands very well, what to buy and where to buy; she learned that quickly.

Myth 10; RW require a lot of attention and help.
That is NOT a myth; if one is not willing to put in the effort to help the RW, they should stay away.

Myth 11: There are cultural differences that you would have to overcome.

That  is not a myth; that is absolutely true; there in my opinion lies the greatest problem, and  THE PRIMARY REASON when AM/RW relationships fail. RW are not Americans they never will be. They have little love for American culture. That is an adjustment you will have to make; some can and many would not be able to and that is why relationships breaks down. Case in point; I have never watched football since she arrived here; which she considers a sports for barbarians. I know a lot about Russian culture; something I never knew before.

I have given my experience; I understand that all experiences are not the same.

Mark

... in response to quick question, posted by KenC on Dec 20, 2001

Ken:

I never went to FSU before on any trip or otherwise. I have to admit my ignorance, until not so long ago, I hardly knew where these countries are located.

You are correct about the future, I don't know; the possiblity that she would want to go back is there; but from what I know about her I don't believe that she would run if she still wants to live in USA; whether she still wants to live here remains unclear.

Mark

... in response to Re: Re: quick question, posted by KenC on Dec 20, 2001

Ken, it's interesting to hear your comments as well as Mark's.  I'm wondering if there are some cultural differences among different regions of the FSU that lead to a greater increase in "negative" comments or perceptions of America.  I met a woman from Riga where Mark's wife is from who was visiting the U.S. last year and noted the same "negative" perceptions.  On the other hand, although my wife loves the Crimea, she rapidly became a flag-waving American.  Even her mother wanted an American flag for Christmas this year.

... in response to Myths And Realities, posted by mdante99 on Dec 18, 2001

Mark:

As you stated, you only spent $2,000 on the process of meeting and brining your wife to USA.  This is your out of pocket cost, not the total cost as you wife paid some of the expenses.  Could you provide an estimate of what your wife spent so that we can get an idea of what the total cost was for the two of you?

... in response to Myths And Realities, posted by mdante99 on Dec 18, 2001

just the very very beginning.  Usually.  Afterward,  its a long and winding road with lots more zeros.  Oh!  And don't anybody start beleiving in some "iron clad prenup".  Spend a little time in court and those "ironclads" do many times sink to the bottom.  We got plenty of good hungry shark lawyers who just love to litigate....so you have absolutely no safety net in the prenup,  unless wifey wants to not litigate.  Probably,  you'll settle.  Ain't bulletproof.  If your lawyer is tellin' you that you got a bulletproof prenup....you should be seein' a better lawyer.

... in response to Myths And Realities, posted by mdante99 on Dec 18, 2001

SO FAR??

Can you believe that someone would actually come out and suggest that a $2000 budget for this endeavor is anything close to realistic? Particularly stating it as "debunking a myth"!!

WmGO - if you see this, how's the deer population down in your neck of the woods this year? Need any thinning?? Rumor has it that deer thinning services can be arranged pretty cheap this year --smile--.

Cheers,

- Dan

... in response to LP, WmGO, DE, Rags, Jack, Quasimoto (Oth..., posted by Dan on Dec 19, 2001

I think typical costs are 10K to 20K.  I have not taken the cheapest route. If I get a good wife I think 50K would be worth it.  The expense is not a big issue for me.

... in response to MONEY.... MY EXPERIENCE, posted by mdante99 on Dec 19, 2001

And tours don't get better results.  The Latvian trip wasn't expensive because I only paid a translator for 3 hours the whole time.  Several of those meals cost less than $6 and one of those was for 3 people.

I thinks Jack's agency would be cheaper, but you can save money on a tour by choosing girls that speak english.  That saves the cost of a translator and her dinner.  My translator was screwing me over on that first tour by having me pay more for everything.  

More money buys more chances.  If you go to Russia and the girl's not serious, which happens all the time, you've just blown 3K to 5K.  I don't think I'll every spend 50K, but if I got a good wife in the process the money would have been well spent.