What does your novia do for you?

[grant5432]

Hello everyone,
  I'm not expecting a lot, but I do do a lot for my novia and
have been to Peru 3 times in the past 8 months to see her.  I
feel I'm always giving, giving and not getting anything in
return.  How do you know she truly loves you or cares about
you?  I know people in Peru and Columbia don't have much
money and I'm not expecting any huge gifts or anything, but
what type of things / gestures / gifts / tokens of appreciation
does your novia do for you that leads you to believe she is truly
interested and loves you (and isn't just interested because she
sees you as a "way out" and better than anything she'd find in
her own country)?

 Does she ever surprise you with anything?  Does she ever
cook you anythiing?  Does she take care of you or get you
anything if you are ill?  Does she seem to really care about you
and your life and asks questions about you, your family or your
life?   Does she ever write you nice personal cards or make
anything for you?    Or is all this too much to ask, especially
from someone from a poorer country or should this matter.  

 Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[Pete E]

... in response to What does your novia do for you?, posted by grant5432 on Jun 21, 2004

If a woman ,particularly a latina loves you she will let you know in no uncertain terms.
It has also been said if you wonder if she3 loves you,she does not.
Both overwhelmingly true I think.You might have the rare latina exception.Most likely she does not love you.
God the BS excuses I endured with my Ex,even supported by a totally incompetent marriage counsoler(well we did have to find a latina to handle both languages).
$90 an hour ditz "Some women just don't like sex"
Ever think she just doesn't like me?Talk about a counterproductive piece of uselessness.
I have to be the one to frame the question to get the truth,after 2.5 years,seeing her off and on,maybe 2 months at a time.
Was I surprised?No,I knew it all along.Was I pissed?Yes,mostly at myself for buying all the BS,or at least not acting on my gut feelings.And paying to much attention to a useless counsoler.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to Its been said here often, posted by Pete E on Jun 21, 2004

There are so many reasons for a latina to go for you that love is rarely it.
There are some guys here who seem to have love.Alot of the others of us have been dealing with something less.
Sorry.I know I used to be Polyanna.

Pete

[kented]

... in response to I hate to be pessimistic but, posted by Pete E on Jun 21, 2004

How long have you lived in Colombia?  Are you independantly wealthy of do you live on what you earn there?

I know when I lived in CR and earned $750 a month, no woman would have gone out with me for my money.  Some stopped going out with me for that reason but it saved me guessing.  

Don't kick yourself.  I'm sure you loved your girlfriend, wanted to believe her and she had a way of being persuasive.  My ex wife was like that.

[Pete E]

... in response to Latinas, posted by kented on Jun 21, 2004

I have a pension that gets me by fine here.I also have a big luxury apartment and rent rooms to guys coming here.
But I do get tired of it here.If not for the women I would be somewhere else,but they are a little addicting,I could never go back to the US to live without taking one.No way I can get anything close there.
I intend to see more of South America this fall,going in to spring in Brazil,Argentina,Chile.
I am going to the states next week for a month.I will have someone handling  the apartment for me while I'm gone.

Pete

[kented]

... in response to Latinas, posted by kented on Jun 21, 2004

Another thing...My ex wife din't like sex either.  I never would have said it before but that should be a deal breaker.  

That way if she's playing you at least you had great sex.  In the final analysis you can think of her as an expensive hooker.  If you don't even get good sex, you have no excuse for being such an idiot.  

I am talking about myself not you or anyone else.

[zack]

... in response to What does your novia do for you?, posted by grant5432 on Jun 21, 2004

There are all sorts of subtle actions that can support a woman's love for you, but I think that top on the list is how she kisses you. Is it long and effectionate, or short and cold? Does she close her eyes when she kisses you? Are you the one who always initiates the kissing? Does she ever not want to kiss you? Are you the one who ends a kiss?

Saying "I love you" and not meaning it is one thing. Demonstrating that assertion in the form of kissing is very different, and most women cannot put on a good show with this if they don't love you, at least not a very long show.

When I look back on the ladies I dated throughout the years, comparing those who truly loved me and those who did not, the differences in how they kissed me is huge and very obvious.

Zack

[Pete E]

... in response to A kiss paints a thousand words, posted by zack on Jun 21, 2004

When they really want to kiss you its good,when they don't the nose always gets in the way?Like we need to turn a few degrees if we don't want to just bang noses.Then you have to grab her face and turn it about 30 degrees.Let go,its right back to noses.
Kisses tell you ALOT.The last year with my ex she forgot how.I even said "did you forget how to kiss?"
I have been complemented as a good kisser many times,but you need a willing partner.

Pete

[zack]

... in response to ever notice - - , posted by Pete E on Jun 21, 2004

When they really want to kiss you it is good, but when they don't, not only does the nose get in the way, but so does a ton of excuses. I have heard everything from "my breath smells" to "I'm having problems at home". Everything but the truth- "I just don't love you."

Ladies who are in love with you often look for reasons to kiss you rather than reasons not to kiss you.

Zack

[Pete E]

... in response to I have noticed that  but also..., posted by zack on Jun 21, 2004

Yup,
Its a sign,even without anything else.
What was that old 50's song,the girl is saying "is it in his eyes? no no no is it in his kiss?"
Women probably get it quicker.Guys need to be hit over the head sometimes.We tend to go on proof more than gut feelings,or we are a little numb to them.

Pete

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to A kiss paints a thousand words, posted by zack on Jun 21, 2004

ZACK,  it Can be true, but then again, cannot mean a thing

My wife kissed me like no other woman ever has. Long, passionate, biting the lower lip(i love that) , eyes closed and rolling back in her head. She iniciated it as much as i did. But, then she goes and pulls this decieful crap that she did, so it justs confuses me more about these women and what motivates them .My wife did all the things you would think of that would show her husband affection

KILT STILL CONFUSED ABOUT THE CHICAS THERE--LOL

[jim c]

... in response to Re: A kiss paints a thousand words, posted by Kiltboy1 on Jun 21, 2004

Maybe you should review your own actions vs blaming the colombian latina mafia.jimc

[kented]

... in response to Re: A kiss paints a thousand words, posted by Kiltboy1 on Jun 21, 2004

In my opinion this proves she loved you.  Unfortunately she may have loved a few other people at the same time.

[zack]

... in response to Re: A kiss paints a thousand words, posted by Kiltboy1 on Jun 21, 2004

Kiltboy,

There are acceptions to every rule and your wife is one of the acceptions. But what about the other ways of showing love that others have mentioned below. Was she like that? Was she always effectionate with you? Did she email you frequently, buy you gifts (if she had the money), always holding your hand, wear your shirts, etc? I know that there is no 100% sure way to tell if a woman loves you. But if she meets all of the criteria mentioned in the posts below, and kissed you the way you described, then she should consider working for Hollywood. She is a damn good actress.

Zack

[Kiltboy1]

... in response to Re: Re: A kiss paints a thousand words, posted by zack on Jun 21, 2004

Zack

She was a very affectionate woman for the first year we were together. She would always be at the internet cafe when she said she would, be at home when she said she would and when we were together, looked at me like there was not other man in her world. It was not until after she came to the states that things started to change. She was still affectionate and took care of the house and we had good conversations, but the longer she was away from cali, the more depressed she got and then we would have arguements about her lack of enthusiasim for learning english, or my culture, it was after maybe 8 months here in the states that she started to miss not having many friends(my wife always prefered male friends to female friends)  and she did not make many here in my city, although we are loaded with mexicans . This is when she started to talk to men fron NY on the internet, which i did not know about until a long time later after we seperated and she moved back to cali

Yes, she was a good wife for a while, but when a person has severe depression and starts to miss her own kind and then starts to listen to other latinos telling her she does not need a gringo to be a success as she is here in america now, then the actress starts to show up . Crap, 3 days before she left , she told me how much she loved me and wanted to have a baby with me. Bottom Line, My wife has some severe mental problems and she is too stubborne to go to a doctor to get meds. I feel like she is Bi-Polar as i saw her mood swings over the time we are together and she had passed out a few times and hit her head on the floor as well and you add that she just got tired of trying to learn a new culture and language and missing being with her own kind, and you have a disaster of a marriage.

Kilt