age

[chevy]

I know this subject has been talked to death.But.. why do some sites seem to have the same age spread that the ladoes prefer. For example:
A 30 year old woman looking for someone between 30-50. It seems most if not all the women write this. I suspect the agency writes that and not the women themselves.
 What is the truth, if there is any to be found?

[Pete E]

... in response to age, posted by chevy on Jan 31, 2004

Well,the first thing you have to do is forget all of your former notions about age difference.
It depends on the girl,but the possible age difference here is ALOT more than you would immagine in the US.My roomate is 45,looks older I think.He is dating several 20 somethings,has a 20 year old trying to convince him she is old enough.
My new girlfriend is 31,2 kids.I'm 60,look 50 I think.No problemo at all.No other takers in a year at the agency.I think she's cute with a nice body.
But there are girls that want someone 40 or less.They better be real hot looking or they will never find him.
Some of them you can tell by their photos and what they want that Cali reality has not struck yet.But most girls will go way over what the age range they say is if the guy seems right otherwise.
Its a whole different world down here.A Cali lady the other day told me she knows a guy 75 or so married to a 24 year old.
What a difference a plane ride makes!

Pete

[Locii]

... in response to age, posted by chevy on Jan 31, 2004

Most of the posts in this thread talk about feelings, love and marriage and hearts, yadda yadda; yet nobody seems to really say that the reason girls go for older men is because younger men disappoint.

You and I have written off out AW contemporaries because they disappoint.  High demand, low return.  Its the same with their latin men, and as a general rule, the younger the latin man, the more true that is.  That is a generality; no offense is meant to anyone.  Its precicely the same with AW, only the age thing is reversed.  I find (at 37) that I can have a decent (platonic or otherwise) relationship with AW 20yo, but 95% of the time they filter me out instantly.  But if they don't, they realize how refreshing someone a bit older can be.  However, I can barely have a conversation with most 35+ AW without having the burning desire to request that they remove their head from their a** and wake up to reality.

Its all relative.

BTW, historically men sought women significantly younger than themselves.  Its a social survival tactic.  And women (15-20) sought men a bit older (35+) to marry; after all they are the ones who had survived childhood disease, war, famine, and probably had a nickel to show for it.  A 40yo man had his nickel did not seek and age contemprary, since, up until recently, a 30yo woman who got preganant was putting her and the baby's life (and  family survival) into jeopardy.

Ciao

[Jamie]

... in response to age, posted by chevy on Jan 31, 2004

Understand Chevy most agencies do what they think is in their best interest. So enticing one to believe that there really is this imaginary world where any man can get beautiful young women is their ploy. Often a big lie works better that a slight lie. The reality is most women prefer men around their own age. You can bet that the age range the women desire is often changed to extend their customer base. At the same time security, comfort and loyalty is important to most women. The majority of those that accept older men (10 plus years older than themselves) compromise one desire for the other.
What we do is tell the women that most men who have the capability and seriousness of supporting a foreign wife are men from the mid 30’s and up looking for younger women 15 year or so younger than themselves. This is the age and preference of the men we cater to and if you are not interested in meeting such men we can’t help you.

Jamie
Engage The Exotic

[Jamie]

... in response to To answer your question, posted by Jamie on Feb 1, 2004

that they are not weeding out these girls. These girls just don't join. So the women you meet at the agencies are the minority of women in the overall population that will accept an older man (10+ years). The younger the girl the more likely she will desire a man around her own age. As I said those that do join and request a young man will have the age range of the man adjusted for them. Chevy believes the agencies alters the girls desired age range and from my conversation with the women that have joined other agencies he is correct.
Now this is not to say a man can’t get a very young woman. Without a doubt the Colombian woman is more flexible on this then American women and I am the beneficiary of such flexibility everyday

[Ken2]

... in response to To answer your question, posted by Jamie on Feb 1, 2004

My date with the 20 year old Mexicana went great.  We ate at a Colombian resturant here in Denver.  She called me a few hours later interested in a follow up date.  I also spoke with a 2o year old in Barranquilla. She is excited to meet me as is her dad.  Once again, these "younger" women are not looking for a grandfather to marry.  They want an average guy who will be Committed to them.  Ironically both gals emphasized this:  1.  Faithfulness (one was cheated on and justs wants a committed man)  2.  Honesty  they are tired of being lied to. (Sorry, but many Latin men are noted for this-its not just a stereo typical cliche.)
3.  Attractive in the sense that your not unkept and disheveled.  I never set out to date younger Latinas, but they are responding (Amigos) or are seeking me out (I Love Latins).  
Both ask lots of questions and allow you to make the plans or decisions, letting you be the man.  This should not be interpreted as them not having any desire to think for them selfs.  They are just reaffirming your role as a man.  Im 36 putting 15-16 years between me and them.

The one in Barranquilla is from a stable family, her dad works for Colombian Customs and is well off, her parents affirm her decision to see me.
The Denver girl thinks the same.  Her parents dont care about age, only that she finds a commited man who can support her.   Both respect and take the advise of their parents.

KP

[mar33]

... in response to Re: To answer your question, posted by Ken2 on Feb 2, 2004

I think if you are attractive and in relatively good shape, the age will not matter as much. Some people age very well. A good friend of mine met a real knockout a month or so back at a restaurant in the U.S.She just turned 19 in October.
  She was there with her mother and ugly sister. The mother and sister are full blooded Bolivian. The mother apparently remarried the father a gringo and had her.
  The girl is a Goddess.So beautiful it is a crime. The mixture of races should be encouraged as it seems to create a better looking race no matter how ugly the parents..
  Anyway, my friend is 32 and fairly successful and n decent shape. The parents really like him a lot. He has had no problems dating her. I guess maybe the parents figure the ugly sister is not getting married anytime soon.Might as well marry off one daughter.
  The girl is thrilled because she is probably not used to dating a man who can take her to places guys her age can't afford.

[Calipro]

... in response to To answer your question, posted by Jamie on Feb 1, 2004

Well I have to hand it to the marriage agencies in Cali for weeding out the majority of women that strongly prefer a man there own age. By majority I'm assuming 51% because in my estimation there is at least a solid 49% that really don't care that much about age. I'm 41 and I still haven't met a women at a marriage agency that has had a problem with my age and I only meet women between the ages of 18 to 25. As for meeting women on the street or at the mall, I haven't had a problem there either.

I always assumed it was a cultural thing because many of the young women I have dated in Cali have had ex colombian boy friends much older than themselves. Not to mention the fact that you just see a lot of older colombianos with women much younger than themselves. Judging from the displays of public affection I sure hope that they're not their daughters.

[Dolfi]

... in response to age, posted by chevy on Jan 31, 2004

I think that depends on the country. In my experience women form Colombia and Brazil are very age tolerant. I am 47 and last year I exchanged messages with a girl from Colombia who had contacted me, she was 26. She told me that she preferred elder men and once had a novio who was 62. I stopped the whole thing after some time because she somehow seemed to have a childish manner about her that I didn´t like.

An argentinian lady wouldn´t even consider a guy who is more than 10 years older than her (in my experience).

[Cali vet]

... in response to Re: age, posted by Dolfi on Feb 1, 2004

I am thirty years older than my wife. Our first year anniversery comes up this month. So far so good. I have a good friend I met at latin-Internet who is also thirty years older than his calena wife. They've had four years of happy marriage so far.

[nautilus]

... in response to Ah The Age Old Age Issue, posted by Cali vet on Feb 1, 2004

I would think that personalities and appearance of the man and the woman involved are more important than the age difference per se in any culture.  But reading all those responses got me thinking...  If I am 28, could I be much younger than what most of those girls are looking for?

BTW, congratulations on your anniversary.  Wish you many more

[Calipro]

... in response to Re: Ah The Age Old Age Issue, posted by nautilus on Feb 1, 2004

I don't think being young will ever be a problem with the women in Cali. You got it right the first time when you said " the personalities and appearance of the man are more important than age".

I know I have said it before but I don't think the women in Cali "prefer" an older guy. I just think they are some what indifferent to the age thing altogether.

After you bring them to the states that is a different story. I remember one time my caleña wife was asked by an americanized latina what she was doing with an old gringo. My ex said "OLD!" I bet he can kick your boyfriends @$$. She was 22 at the time and I was 38.
Remember you are only as old as your caleña thinks you are.

[thundernco]

... in response to Ah The Age Old Age Issue, posted by Cali vet on Feb 1, 2004

Yeah CV, but anyone that's met you knows you're a hiking and in shape stud! Nonetheless, I agree as I too have friends that are much older than their wives and it seems to be a non-issue.  My wife is 11 years younger than me, but I do remember 18-22 y/o trying to convince me that they were mature enough for me.  Take Care, TNC

[Dolfi]

... in response to Ah The Age Old Age Issue, posted by Cali vet on Feb 1, 2004

No problem. That´s just the personal impression I got. My spanish is quite good and I like conversation. It gets a bit boring when the only thing about you the girl seems to be interested in is "Cuando vienes a Colombia?"

[bigbdm4]

... in response to age, posted by chevy on Jan 31, 2004

The truth is inside of you, not in an agency.  What is right to you?  What age difference is OK with you?  Regardless of anything else, that is what is true.  Don't blame the agency, they are only trying to make you and the girl happy.  Yes, some agencies are liars, cheaters, pimps, slave traffickers, murderers, and probably worse.  You can find them out there if you search enough.  

Doing a one-eighty now, some agencies actually have your best interests at heart, and are there for you every step of the journey.  Far be that from this list, but I know whereof I speak.  Asking about age difference is opening the door to the differences in the cultures.  How young do you dare, and how old does she find desire?  On Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills I see a twenty year old beauty strutting her stuff for all, arm in arm with her eighty year old companion.  No kidding.  I would call it something, but not love, not a marriage.  

My experience, glad you asked.  Twenty years difference in Latin America, with a Latina, is OK.  That is, the guy is older by that much, not the girl.  More than that is stretching it, in my opinion.  But then, it is ultimately up to the people involved, and if the age difference is more, it's OK with others if it's OK with them, themselves.  The younger girls go for the older men, it's part of the culture, unlike here, and it's common.  An older woman with a younger man is a freak show, it does happen, but people will point and gossip about that.  A young girl with an older guy is OK.  

The main thing is the relationship.  Can there be love?  Do you love her?  Does she love you?  Is there the possibility of marriage?  Will marriage work?  Can you live with her, and she with you, as husband and wife?  Will there be peace among the family?  What will they all say and think?  Will it be copasetic or will it be chaos?  Is she just candy, or is this the real thing?

I want to end this posting with some great words of wisdom….  Sorry, fresh out.  Marriage is two hearts that beat as one.  There are boundaries to marriage, you have to live within them, they make life safe and beautiful.  Does the girl offer the possibility to live the life you are dreaming of?  Maybe you should get to know her more before you consider marriage.  

Big B