27 days in Cali

[Pete E]

First I should state the possitives.Cali has a nice tropical climate,not too hot,not too cold.It can be paradise for a single guy,as Nick has talked about below.I had alot of fun here on my first trip when I met my wife.I extended my stay from 12 to 18 days.I was staying at the former home of Latin Love,The Crystall Palace.Even after I met my wife and was basically waiting everyday for her to get off work,I was never bored.I hung out at the pool,talked to people,worked out,went out to lunch,went shopping.
Also yesterday we went with friends to a little resort with a pool a few miles out of town.Lots of traffic and people,not at all dangerous I am told.It was sort of like being at a tropical resort.
But,----,basically I am bored and frustrated out of my mind right now.We just sit around my mother in laws house all day.The highlight of today was to have lunch with some people my wife knows.Nobody spoke english.They were having a good time talking about me but my wife translated little of it.Then when we get ready to go it takes an hour just to get out the door.
My wife can make a day out of getting her nails done.I go crazy with the inactivity and gross blatant waste of precious time.27 days?I could have traveled around the world.Driven around the United States.
I know I should get out and do more but they don´t want me to just go out by myself.I can´t just wander around town.I can go to the malls,thats about it.Maybe I could go to Avenida Sexta,pèople say its safe.
If I was at a beach resort,like San Andreas or Santa Marta I could just hang out and be OK.I wanted to go to Santa Marta,but my wife had no interest.She just wants to hang out with her family.They have a balcony here but it is shaded.I am actually losing skin color being here,getting lilly white.
OK,I know its my own fault for getting into it and not doing something about,but knowing that just frustrates me more.
Reminds me of a scene from "Lonesome Dove" where Call buries McCray
after hauling his body by wagon from Montana to Texas.He said "I guess this will make mea little more carefull about what I agree to done."
Next year my wife gets as big a head start as she wants so when I get here I don´t stay over a week.Then we are going to a beach somewhere.If she can´t agree to this I´m not coming at all.
I am not a person who is extremly active.This would have driven some of you much crazier than me.But maybe you would havbe changed it.

Pete

[Georgina]

... in response to 27 days in Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 7, 2002

I think the next time you guys should rent an apartment or stay in a hotel. It makes things a lot easier and fun than staying at your mother-in-law's house.

My husband and I went to Peru for 2 weeks and we stayed in a hotel in a nice place, 20 minutes from my mother house. I would go to my mother house every other day, but if my husband didn't feel like it. He would explore the city by himself. Other days we would spend the day together doing stuff without my family.

I remember we went to a city in the south. Arequipa. My husband was very excited about it but we stayed with a family and althought they were very nice. We didn't have the freedom we wanted, so next time we are staying in a hotel.

What makes things easier also was that my husband speaks good Spanish and he was able to get around by himself.Also, my father will take him with him to different places.

There was a day when just the two of them went for lunch and beers and they really had a good time. They were out for 8 hours.

Other thing was that I was always worried about my husband having a good time. We were there to visit my family but my husband's time was also important, so next time just talk to your wife about it. If not, just stay at home.

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: 27 days in Cali, posted by Georgina on Jan 8, 2002

Georgina,
Good idea but my wife would never go for it.If I had an appartment she would be here.We do have our own room with bath.Next year I want to stay here just a few days and go to Santa Marta or a beach somewhere.I will have to give Rocio a big head start so she gets enopugh time with her family.

Pete

[Larry in dallas]

... in response to 27 days in Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 7, 2002

Waaa!!!!Waaaaaa!  

  Pete, you are a great guy! Your saga continues and continues....  why don't you buy a retirement house next door to your suegras?
  How about next time you learn some spanish at a language school to occupy your time?  How is Rocio doing these days?

  Also, how is doug yeargin and Nelcy?  I called twice but never got a return call from them.

  I miss you, my friend.  Maybe next time we can get together in Cali next summer if Rocio takes you down there.

                                       Sincerely,

                                       Larry in Dallas

[Pete E]

... in response to Pete-tu eres un pobresito!!!!!, posted by Larry in dallas on Jan 7, 2002

Larry,
Any thoughts I had about buying property in Cali went away with this trip.I don´t think I am coming back for a year,and then maybe for a week.Rocio would come anytime.She gets sad when I remind her we leave Saturday.32 days not enough?
Doug and Nelcy are fine.Nelcy came to Cali but Rocio lost her Cali phone number so we didn´t see her.Doug stayed home and worked.Amazing but that sounds good to me.
Come out to California some time.We will have a get together with everyone.We have alot of couples around now.Look for a bargain air fare and join us for a few days.
Take care Larry.

Pete

[H2-Oh]

... in response to 27 days in Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 7, 2002

Petey,
Why don't you just call Chicky-Fly and go to the pool at the Pacifico and have a few beers!!!! I'm sure John would drink 1 or 2 or 20 beers with you (LOL). You'll be home soon and we'll all get together and have a good time. Hang in there after all, you did marry a Colombian, this just goes with the territory.

H2-Oh

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: 27 days in Cali, posted by H2-Oh on Jan 7, 2002

Howard,
We went with John and Lorena to a swim park on Sunday.It was good to get out.Lorena´s mothers family can sure put away the booze.He says her fathers side is worse.Made John and I look like teatotalers.

Pete

[Nico]

... in response to 27 days in Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 7, 2002

gees Pete our couple of get togethers we had must have been a heckuva breathe of fresh air for you. If nothing else you got to speak in English.Now I feel better about translating all conversation between you ,Stella and I. I didn´t realize how bored you were with Cali.

[Red Clay]

... in response to 27 days in Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 7, 2002

My mother in law from Peru has been visiting us since NOV.17TH!!! Only kidding about it being a problem, she is very sweet and not the least bit controlling. We can't fight, she speaks no English, lol. Yes, a visit of that length sounded EXTREME to me too, but it hasn't been bad. However, mi esposita finally told me a few days ago that they were starting to get on each other's nerves at times. I told her not to worry, that is very normal in our culture.
   She flies home to Lima Feb. 7, I think i'm gonna make it.
   Hang in there Pete, we're here for ya!lol

   When are you coming home?

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: 27 days in Cali-Pete, I have the opp..., posted by Red Clay on Jan 7, 2002

I´m coming home the 12th.I can immagine having my mother in law around could get old but at home I could escape.
We are trying to get my wifes parents working on a tourist visa.There is a 1-1/2 year wait just for an appointment.Maybe I shouldn´t encourage them huh?

Pete

[JunFan]

... in response to 27 days in Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 7, 2002

Pete,
Man, sounds like you have been bored out of your skull.  If it makes you feel any better, I was bored too while I was down there last week.  And I was only there a week! I more or less hung out by the pool. I can't fathom spending 27 days by in my mother-in-laws house...I don't know how you did it.  

bet you have been thinking about what kind of food you will be eating soon.  I think I went for the most oposite thing I could find relative to Colombian food...CHINESE!

I think then I fell victom to a nice chicken fried steak.

Mike

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: 27 days in Cali, posted by JunFan on Jan 7, 2002

Mike,
They have chinese food here but I am afraid to try it.Who knows what they could cover up under chinese sauce.I´ll wait untill the US.They have some steak places here that are supposed to be good but my experience so far with carne makes me not want to try it.We were at a restaurant the other day with  strolling musician playing soft latin music.I said it made me hungry for an enchilada.I was eating a large but not good piece of chicken breast.

Pete

[El Diablo]

... in response to 27 days in Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 7, 2002


Howdy Pete,

Your frustration about being in Cali is coming in loud and clear.  I think Cali is great when you're single but it definitely looses something when you are married or have a girlfriend.  When I was in Cali for 10 weeks this past year and had a novia, the key to my sanity was having some independence and having things to do.  I also think you'd feel a lot better if you and Rocio were in your own apartment rather than in mama's house.  Rocio and Sebastian could taxi over to mama's every day but you'd have your own place and not feel so darn uncomfortable.  To be honest, I'd go crazy in someone else's house if I were there for anything beyond a few days.

Another key is to have some kind of routine or to have additional friends to interact with.  It helped me in that I was able to continue my work project while in Cali and so I put in about six hours on weekdays and about four hours on weekends.  I would take periodic work breaks and walk over to Karen's pizza and sit out on the corner sipping my drink and just taking in all the activity around me.  I always had lunch with my novia.  Her place of work was near my apartment and so we'd walk over to some restaurant on Sexta and eat lunch every day.  My late afternoons and early evenings were generally free, this was the perfect time for me to visit a friend or go to the mall.  My novia would come over to my apartment for a few hours after her class.  We'd rent movies from Blockbuster or go to the Cinema itself.  And a few times a week we'd walk over to Blues Brothers and listen to music.

I think it helped to have my own routine apart from what my novia was doing.  Sure I spent a lot of time with her every day and on weekends but I also had my own time which was important for me.  I think you should consider breaking the house arrest that your wife's family has you under.  Get out of the house and start exploring on your own a bit.  Start off simple, go visit Diego's or something but begin to get used to getting around on your own.  I really believe that Cali will open up to you but getting out of mama's house periodically is key.

Take care Pete.

El Diablo

[El Diablo]

... in response to Re: 27 days in Cali, posted by El Diablo on Jan 7, 2002


I was thinking of some of the things I used to do alone or with my novia(s) that was fun or kept me busy.  Now Rocio doesn't strike me as the Blues Brothers or disco type but what about bowling.  You're probably thinking I'm crazy but there is actually bowling in Cali of all places.  In 2000 during my 4 month stay, my 1st Calena novia Jacqueline and I bowled every Friday night with Gabe (Diego's cousin) and his wife Afelia.  It got to be so fun that all of Jackie's sisters wanted to come along too and the great thing was that it was relatively cheap for the whole group of us.  

Another thing that I would do to occupy my free time was to think of crazy business ideas and research them.  Things like opening agencies, bars or buying real estate were ideas that I investigated in one form or another during my free time.  It was a lot of fun checking these things out and visiting properties for sale.  

One thing I kind of fell into is visiting schools and talking with the students.  I'm not sure why exactly but I've been invited by 4 different people at various times.  Every visit was really special.  The BBC English institute where Jacqueline was a student invited me to their Friday night advanced conversational get-togethers also.  It wasn't a class per se but it was more of a social gathering for advanced students to practice their English.  I would have liked to go every Friday but it conflicted with the bowling unfortunately.

Anyway, I think there are fun family things to do in Cali and things to do by yourself also but you got to get out of mama's house to do them.  (-:

El Diablo

[cdrab]

... in response to 27 days in Cali, posted by Pete E on Jan 7, 2002

Pete
 I can relate to your experience, most of the time I spent this year at my wifes house in Colombia was out on the balcony  looking at the scenery going bye.I took a few solo trips to the malls which wasn't too bad. If I was living there things would have to change. I can't believe you have lasted 27 days. It also seemed to me that when I did go out it would end up costing  a fortune because everyone always wanted to come with.  It is hard to sit around the house you feel like a prisoner, wasn't even comfortable taking a walk around the block. Your post on the food also makes me laugh. How does your system handle the food, Half the time I felt like I was going to blow up. Everytime we went out I would try to hit a washroom at a mall which is another experience in itself.
I think when you live there you require a different mentality. When I was single it was a great place, now I find I don't have the amount of patience that is required to operate in the Colombian culture.
I did go to Santa Marta and San Andres and I think that would be a little easier to relax, That would be a great idea for your next trip.

Good luck
Clint