Aggressive Latinas????

[nrvana]

I have just finished reading some interesting information from another forum.  They stated that if a man is not aggressive with his affection with a latina on the first few dates that the latina will think he is not interested or that he is gay?  And also they said that if a latina rejects a mans attempt at affection she is not insulted....but still more interested.
I will be down there is two months.... If I find an young lady and like her, I sure do not want to lose her by not trying anything with her.  What do you experienced guys think about this theory?  Do you have any thoughts?

Thanks,

Nrvana

[cjweir]

... in response to Aggressive Latinas?, posted by nrvana on Jul 28, 2001

well, from my experience your generalzation is true, latinas are less offended by a man making a move, than american women. as much as generalizing is dangerous, latin men have there weak points and be polite with woman is one of them. thats why american men have a good reputation in latin america, so my advise is not to be a outright pig, but being timid would be a bigger mistake. i imagine latinas in columbia, may not be the same as latinas in the dominican republic (which is my expertise). but i imagine that there not that far apart either. even tho you did not state where you are going, knowing this board it is cali, if you need advise on latinas out side of columbia feel free to email

[buzzy]

... in response to Aggressive Latinas?, posted by nrvana on Jul 28, 2001

I agree with that message.  Latinas are insecure..if you don't try to steal kisses and hugs, and touches on the lower back, and flirt at her she'll feel neglected and insulted and hurt.  It's like you're the locksmith ...never let her forget you're the one with the toolbox and she's the lock that needs to be picked.  Or another locksmith will!   Good luck.

[Anony Mouse]

... in response to Re: Aggressive Latinas?, posted by buzzy on Jul 28, 2001

On my first trip to Colombia I went out with a beautiful lady and at the end of the date I wanted to try to kiss her.  She resisted and I practically chased her around the room to steal a couple of kisses.
We've been married for over a year now and I still have to chase her around the room for a kiss sometimes.  It's still a lot of fun when I catch her.  "No" means "No", but if they're still smiling it's OK to keep chasing.

Mr. Mouse

[buzzy]

... in response to The chase, posted by Anony Mouse on Jul 30, 2001

Good report!  Exactly my point...we're dealing with Latinas here..not AW.  You can be a man in the Latin world....it  seems so strange because we're traumatized and intimidated with the ways of AW so when we first enter the Latina world we are confused. Can I touch?  Can I look?  Can I say she's pretty?  Will I be sued?  Will I be hauled off to the local jail?  But instincts prevail and we start to do thr normal things of pursuit that God planned for us.  Latinas want you to act like a man..they expect it....they encourage it.  If you try to kiss or hug or flirt with an AW you will be facing 1-20 years for rape, kidnapping, stalking, assault and battery, and domestic violence.  AW have stripped manhood from the AM.  Be a man when you visit Latin America!!  It's ok!!  They like it!!

[bret]

... in response to Aggressive Latinas?, posted by nrvana on Jul 28, 2001

my experiences are that your theory is right on the money.

if are attracted to a latina, and it appears that she is attracted to you, and you do not openly show your affections, she might very well think there's something wrong with you, or that you are not interested, or even be insulted that you didn't make more of an effort to get her.

latinas are very accustomed to aggressive men, and they can be very adept at dealing with their agressive nature.

what is a huge compliment to a latina (i.e. blantently showing one's interest toward her), could be  at times a total insult to an american women. maybe this is why many of us are interested in latinas? because there is a male role and a female role, (the hunter and the hunted), and not a male role, and a female trying to fulfill a male role also.

let me also say that i'm talking about the romantic seduction of a lady that you are interested in. i'm not advocating heavy handedness with the ladies. cool?

the point is, if you are interested in her, show it and be proud of it. because if you don't make it very clear to her that you have an interest in her, some other hombre will!

make a play for the lady, but when/if she rebuffs you, make sure that she takes the whole thing as a big compliment and a sign of how much you like her.

[Viajero]

... in response to Aggressive Latinas?, posted by nrvana on Jul 28, 2001

I don't think it's that simple. In my experience, it goes more like this: latin women (or at least the ones I have met) more clearly signal their interest than american women do. In other words, our culture has more subtlety in this area than in the latin culture. I have gone many times wondering if an american woman was interested in me, but that question never remained unanswered for me in Latin America, because women make their interest known to me in ways that are very clearly understood (sometimes by simply saying so). Thus, latin women will expect the same from you.

We interpret this as being "agressive", but rather it should be seen as being "assertive". People in Latin America are more prone to communicating needs, interests and desires than we are in our culture. This follows in other areas as well. If your novia's family needs money, they will let you know and may even ask for it. My future father in law admired my camera, and thru mi novia asked me to make a gift to him of one like it. This is not seen as greedy as it is in our culture, and refusal of these requests for logical reasons is understood and accepted.

There is the saying "No llora, no mama", or as we might say it, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. If you want to proceed romantically with your amiga, let her know with romantic gestures and any other means of communication that is not as ambiguous as we'd do here. If you are interested, you need to communicate that in a more direct way than we do here in the US. Likewise, if you are not interested make sure that you don't send false signals. Flowers may not seem like a big deal to you, but they make a big impression in Latin America (especially to a woman who may have high hopes and doesn't ever get flowers).

[wayne38]

... in response to Aggressive Latinas?, posted by nrvana on Jul 28, 2001

I think if you have dated a few times like you said in your post, then you should be showing some initiative.  by the third date you should be making out.  if you're not maybe its time to look elsewhere.  if she doesn't like you I doubt she would go out past two dates anyway.

[bret]

... in response to you mean agressive WITH latinas right??, posted by wayne38 on Jul 28, 2001

right on, if you aren't making out pretty heavy by the third date at the latest, she may not be interested.

also, i think latinas are far more likely than an american woman to have heavy petting (if i may use this term) and then NOT go all the way.

if you have spent much time in l.a. (i'm sure you have), you see a lot of making out in public palces than you would see in north america. but it doesn't necessarily mean everyone is going all the way!

[wayne38]

... in response to Re: you mean agressive WITH latinas righ..., posted by bret on Jul 28, 2001

I once went out with a nice looking morena girl.  On the second date as we were saying our goodbyes, I planted a kiss on her lips.  she did not respond.  the next day she called me and asked me why I kissed her.  real answer:  cause you are a hot babe and I am horny!!!!

what I told her:  I feel attracted to you, you are such a sweetheart.

the next date I "made love" to her if I can use that term

[Red Clay]

... in response to yes, you may use that term  and a brief ..., posted by wayne38 on Jul 28, 2001

She had to ask???

[Houndog]

... in response to Aggressive Latinas?, posted by nrvana on Jul 28, 2001

I think Women are Women. And they all have "THEIR IDEA" of a Dream Man, just Like We have our own idea of a Dream Woman. And thru 'personal interaction'( getting to know each other) both are defining which of several categories the other fits....1) "Dream Man or Woman"....2)Prospect"....3)"Maybe if Something Better Doesn't Come Along"....4)"Suspect"....5) "Not in this Life Time"...thank LarryS for the categories. IMO...we act(or should) and react(behave) according to what category they fall into for us...and they respond...act and react (behave) according to which category we fit into for them.

The only trick is figuring out correctly (honestly) and with certianty the real category one fits into.  In my case I used actions to help me define how my wife really felt about me...or IOW's...what category she had placed me based on her actions and how they compared to her words. In my case I kept searching untill I found a woman that placed me in "Dream Man" category. As she shows/proves by her actions towards me.

Regards,HD

[Chris F]

... in response to Aggressive Latinas?, posted by nrvana on Jul 28, 2001

You state-

"if a latina rejects a mans attempt at affection she is not insulted......but still more interested"

Many men here in the U.S. have unfortunately landed themselves behind bars by believing   "No really means....YES!!"  As far as I am concern...if a woman says No.....it means...no...whether you are in the USA or epsecially......a foreign country....

Be careful.......