... in response to Japanese Women and American Men, posted by Jeff S on Sep 3, 2003Jeff
How have you and Mariko been lately?
Thanks for the nice informative post.
Well things between myself and Otgoo (the Mongolian girl) have disintigrated to a dead end. By the last phone call I made to her I could only understand 30 % of what she was saying. It turns out as best as I can figure out that her American teacher 20 years her senior got her pregnant. And though she doesn't love him she has to decide to accept his offer of marriage or not. She lamented to me that she felt like a really stupid woman that she messed up her chances with me, and that she dreamed that we would have met and married by Christmas. I have written her back once or twice but the reality is this situation was a little bit more than I could chew off. Mongolia, and a family on the way that wasn't mine, was maybe a little bit too far off the beaten path I think.
On a happier note --- Through the same Dating service Asianeuro.com I met a 30 year old Christian Japanese woman named Yukako. She is an IT engineer (still not exactly sure what that is) between Jobs and just started attending more computer classes this week. She lives in Tokyo -- formerly lived in Nagoya and is originally from Gifu Prefecture. I'm not falling head over heels with her and she is being cautious and hasn't brought up any romantic notions either just decent pen pals. Yet, she still is writing with me regularly and she gave me her phone number voluntarily.
I was supposed to call her this morning for the first time but she sent me an e-mail that she had an errand to do with a friend in the evening instead, before I was to call her and that she was tired from school. I e-mailed no problem and we will try for tomorrow morning / evening for her instead and she agreed. Her written English is quite good but she has cautioned me that her spoken English and listening skills are not so good so we will have to go slow.
She has told me that after her computer course ends in December, she might go to Australia to live for a few months. She is well traveled having already visited Boston, Chicago, Hawaii, France, England, Spain, Italy, Fiji, Australia, Hong Kong, and the Philippines. I told her good go for it ! Whether she is in Australia or Tokyo what is the difference. She is not here either way. And I wouldn't mind visiting Australia, If I had some money ha ha ha. How does the saying go? ---- If you love someone set them free and if they truly want to they will come back to you. She said she has to figure out where to go with her life. -- I feel the same challenge for my life arising very soon too, truth be told -- my days at this job are numbered.
Well according to my Chinese Horoscope book which I tend to believe more than the Zodiac, I am a snake and she is an Ox and that is a very good match ha ha and she is an aquarius (? - what month is that) and I am a taurus so I don't know how I am standing there. Well after hanging out in the wind a couple of times recently. I am just taking this one casually and relaxed and apparently so is she. If anything is meant to be then it will happen or not --- right?
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Last week had the opportunity to recipricate the kindness that one of my pen pals showed me when I visited Kyoto in February. Kaori and her aunt and uncle were visiting the LA, Palm Springs and Vegas for a week. So I met them at LAX and I took them to their hotel in Century City. Kaori mentioned she wanted to visit Venice Beach and Santa Monica so that is where we went to. I had a great time with them and I felt very at home with them. I was able to practice some of my poor Japanese and I could even evesdrop a little bit and understand what they were saying a little bit.
We ate dinner at a pizza place in Santa Monica on the third street Promenade (a word that Kaori had trouble pronouncing) There were a few left overs which they gave to me. Then arose a social dilema -- There are a fair amount of homeless on this street whether capable to work or not who knows? a normally dressed and looking guy in his early twenties actually asked me for my boxed pizza left overs. Normally I would have given it to him but since the Uncle paid for the meal I thought it would be bad form to give it to this guy. It was an interesting situation.
I had a great time with them and it reminded me how at home with them and Japanese culture I felt and to Keep my eye on the Prize.
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Jeff
Can you tell me more about the Burakumin --- (the untouchable class, considered unfit to marry perhaps because one of their ancestors worked as a butcher or shoemaker.)
I have read about this group of people in my Culture Shock book but the book advised not to bring this topic up in conversation as it was considered bad form to mention them. I suppose I would equate them to the Gypsies of Europe but why the social stigma? I read that it was considered better for the Japanese to marry foreigners (Koreans, Chinese etc) than to marry into this group. It is rather puzzling.
Take care
Windmill Boy