In Too Much of A Hurry

[outwest]

Continuation of previous story,

Talked to this beautiful girl in manila for 2 months, spent too much
on phone calls, thought she was faithful to me, was going to go see
her in a few months, she asked for money, i said no.

Turns out she had another net boyfriend on mirc, who she was talking
to behind my back, the whole time, we had a big misunderstanding hurt
feelings about the money situation, a lot of crying, on her part,
since, i misunderstood, her intentions, etc, we got past that, even
after i said no, she supposedly stood by me,,,,,2 days later she
gets "engaged" to this other guy , sight unseen, never even visited
her yet, he was waiting in the wings for us to have a fight, and he
pounced when he saw blood,
Talk about 2 desperate types, I told her, she does not even know what
love is, the first american guy who treats her well, and proposes she
will say yes, even if he has never even visited yet,
sheesh, gives this whole penpal thing a bad name if you ask me, and
the thing is i really liked her,,,,,,,

[Timee]

... in response to In Too Much of A Hurry, posted by outwest on Mar 10, 2001

I married a woman from the Philippines. There is a very popular phrase in the Philippines, "by hook or crook".  Many of the common girls will do anything to come to the United States.  Listen and check your immigration reports. I did not pay attention.   I must say there are a few good women in the Philippines but I could not find one.

My wife came to the United States with a list of men who she had been writing to.  We were only married for 9 months.  Everything was a lie.  She had several realitives who had come to the United States and did the same things.  Many Philippino's know how to come to the states and legaly dump you after the first few months and legaly stay here.  It is called a page ___ something which displaces you.  Many times you can not defend because you would have not known what occured.

I have not met a single attractive Philippino woman who would not use sex and lies to get what she wanted.

Be very very careful with Philippino's.  You must look at their culture as a whole.  The plain Jane's would make the best choice.  Those golden girl, modle types will whip you.

Check out the Latin women.  In Asia, the food will send you home.  Good luck.

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: The Truth, posted by Timee on Mar 14, 2001

Timee,

Please be careful with the Latinas. I was married to one and engaged to another before that. I have dated over 20, from various countries and as well as US born. Some were fantastic, others were trouble. The truth is...women are women! There are good and bad in every race, religion, and nationality.

Pretty ones sometimes cheat, as do ugly ones. All it takes is a willing man (or woman). We know that many men are ready, willing, and able to "breed" with anything that walks, crawls, flies, swims, or has stopped moving altogether. ;o)

I met a pretty Filipina that has not used sex or flattery to get what she wants. I am marrying her. )

Good luck with the Latinas! But DON'T let your guard down. What applies to Filipinas, applies to Latinas (AW & FSU) as well. I have plenty of horror stories, some my own. I will spare the board.

Dave H.

[Dave H]

... in response to The Truth Hurts!, posted by Dave H on Mar 14, 2001

Hi Ray,

This one is for you. For the most part going ugly might not be a bad idea. I always enjoyed that catchy tune: "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life..."

There is one guy type of guy you have to watch out for however. That is the "Go Ugly...Early" type. I have known several over the years:

My friend Paul lived his life by that motto. Whenever we went out, he would hit on the first ugly women he would see. Usually he would leave, get laid, enjoy pizza with her, and be home in bed by 9:00 PM. We would be there for hours with limited success (maybe a wrong phone number) and a thin wallet from buying drinks.

Dave D. was another "Go Ugly...Early" guy. He was married to a woman that didn't enjoy sex, after her weight climbed above the 250 pound mark. He was involved with a married woman, that would have made a female Bigfoot look like Miss America. Her mustache was almost as thick as his. I never could figure out why he would risk getting killed by being with her. Maybe that is true love! The first time we saw her was when we were barbecuing at the fire house. She was in the kitchen and stuck her head out the window to call for Dave D. One of the guys was holding the tray of cooked steaks. He turned, saw her, screamed, and dropped the steaks into the dirt.

I have a few more of these friends, but the stories get even more bizarre. Just make sure she isn't too ugly or the "Go Ugly...Early" guys will find her. I think maybe Timee was right about looking for the plain girls. Not too pretty and not to ugly.

Dave H.

[Ray]

... in response to Go Ugly...Early!, posted by Dave H on Mar 14, 2001

ROTFLMAO!

Thanks for that story Dave. I knew a guy just like that in the Navy. We all thought he was crazy, but looking back on it now, I think he had a great plan that worked for him.

Of course I’m only joshing with the comments on finding an ugly one. Gosh, I hope Greg didn’t take me too seriously (sorry Greg). Actually, anything under a “perfect 10” would be fine :-)

Ray

[greg]

... in response to Re: Go Ugly...Early!, posted by Ray on Mar 15, 2001

Your advice on the forum meant alot to me, now you saying that we shouldn't seek an unattractive or disabled Pinay? Hehehehee. Well, I'm not looking for anyone, unfortunate I continued to give bad advice. Guys ignore my advice to find a unattractive Pinay, go for the number 10 smile. Good Luck. hehehehehe

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: Go Ugly...Early!-Ray, posted by greg on Mar 15, 2001

No Greg, what I'm really saying is that if your number one criteria in your search for a wife is her looks, then you're more likely to have problems down the road.

With a "perfect 10", there will always be guys hitting on her, so you better make sure that both of you have a strong enough character to deal with that. I have nothing against a guy looking for an ugly or physically handicapped wife. In fact, I applaud you for reminding us that looks aren’t everything.

I wish you luck...

Ray

[greg]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Go Ugly, posted by Ray on Mar 16, 2001

I always felt that your advice was sound. Ever since I first joined PL years ago, I still remember you being the first person to personally email me with encouragement, thanks alot. I feel that my Son's mother is a good Pinay, unfortunate becuz of her situation it's a huge problem. At this point I have no choice but to continue to support her and my Son. Yes, of course I feel like a gago(fool) becuz of my mistake as a green horn, as I mentioned many times, I didn't have PL or Mag-Anak available to me during my search for love and happiness abroad, to help prevent me from making mistakes. I feel much regret, but at least I can caution others to take their time and be Careful in their search for everlasting love. Guys need to remind themselves that most Pinays are very happy and good women there in the Philippines among their culture, but I personally feel that it's difficult for any culture to have a good relationship here in the States. Sooo, America can really change a Filipina with good intentions to become just like all those other bad American Women. Personally I feel it's best not to risk bringing anyone here, go relocate to her country at retirement time, then she can always keep her good values, morals, and you got yourself a lifetime good Filipina smile. Yeah, someday I will retire to the Philippines, there's nothing much here in America for those seeking true Love. Seems like America is only good for $$$$$$$'s and Luxuries, true love for one another is truly lacking in relationships.  greg

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Go Ugly-Ray, posted by greg on Mar 17, 2001

Well, I know some very happily married couples here in America, but we are also seriously considering retirement in the Phils some day. Heck, the wife is already shopping for a lot to build on :-)

So, maybe we’ll run into eachother over there on a jeepney some day. Who knows? Just wear you Planet Love T-shirt so I can spot you.

Ray

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Go Ugly-Ray, posted by Ray on Mar 17, 2001

Hi Ray,

We bought a house. My idea...not hers. I got an offer I couldn't refuse. Now all I have to do is get it air conditioned. ;o)

Dave H.

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Go Ugly-Ray, posted by Ray on Mar 17, 2001

Greg,

When boarding the jeepney, looke for a Kano with a very fat pig.

- Kevin

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Go Ugly...Early!, posted by Ray on Mar 15, 2001

Hi Ray,

ROFLMAO! I am sure glad that I didn't take your advise this time! Thankfully, it was too late. I had already found my 10. )

Dave H.

[Jimbo]

... in response to Go Ugly...Early!, posted by Dave H on Mar 14, 2001

Dave,

There is one problem with the tactic - it takes courage.  Sometimes a man needs a few under his belt before he can 'Go Ugly', or 'Go Sweathog' for that matter.  In order to tackle a real beast it may take 8 or 9 bottles of courage, and then it's not so early anymore! LOL!

Jim who-has-no-courage-now-bottled-or-otherwise )

[greg]

... in response to The Truth Hurts!, posted by Dave H on Mar 14, 2001

Kumusta! Please share your Horror stories, the more the merrier :-). These horror stories can open our eyes and help us to be more Careful in our search for Love and Happiness. For example many Guys are unable to see the kinda Woman they are involved with becuz of their rosy covered glasses. Reading Horror posts can remind them to be very sure of a Lady's true intentions before bring her to USA on a Visa. greg

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: The Truth Hurts!-DaveH, posted by greg on Mar 14, 2001

Hi Greg,

Well...first let me say that I don't consider myself an expert by any means. Some people will think that I am full of bull manure. Especially AWs. Most of my knowledge comes after the fact. Some things I never saw coming, even though I was in the middle of it. Other things I have observed about the people around me.

My involvement with my fiancee is my first with a Filipina. I have been heavily involved with Latinas my whole life. I was engaged to one (Venezuelan), but broke it off when I found out she was dating a Cuban, while I was working. Funny thing, she said she disliked Cubans. ;o) I married a Cuban/Puerto Rican that was born in the US. However she was raised in the Spanish tradition, in the third world of Miami. She left me for another American that was more "macho" than me. Or should I say...demanding? Both women tried to come back to me, but I knew that it wouldn't work. They both said that they wanted a man that was easy going and treated them with respect and as an equal. I no longer believe that. Maybe on the surface, but inside they lost respect for me, because I was laid back and really didn't care about the little things. I shared the pants with them. I had no problem with them going out with friends. They were adults and I figured that they could make some decisions on their own. I guess I was wrong. When things were going well, they created problems to liven things up. They weren't happy with peace and harmony in our relationship. With their new husbands they no longer have to worry about that. ;o) Seriously, I wish them well, even though I went through some tough times over them.

I know many Latin men (most of my friends and coworkers) and have observed their treatment of their wives and girlfriends. Many (not all) create problems or stir things up with Bull Sh#t to keep the women in line. Nothing bad usually, just little things to keep things a little uncertain or exciting. They joke about it later with me. They also wear the pants, whether in fact or in appearance. Let's face it, women really rule the world. ;o) I think many Latin women expect and accept this behavior. I think many would be unhappy without it. Maybe it works, most are still married. A few men are emotionally and possibly physically abusive, which I am completely against in any culture.

I find the culture of the Philippines very similar to that in various Latin countries. I suspect much of what holds true for Latin America would apply to the Philippines. While many Filipinas and Latinas like American men because they consider them kind and generous, there are some problems associated with this. They still want a man, something many of us have a problem identifying with. Our role models having been bashed by the feminists and replaced by the new "positive" ones like Ed Asner, Alan Alda, and Bill Clinton. It's time to bring out those old movies of "The Duke." Some Latinas have told me that they perceive a man that is too agreeable as weak. Then they take advantage of him.

There are a few things that I am doing differently now:

First; I am wearing the pants. Except when I wear my kilt ;o) I am taking "It's up to you," literally. Of course I ask for my fiancee's opinion, but now I make the final decision with many things. Sometimes it comes down to a coin toss, but I make it.

Secondly; I ask more questions and listen to the answers. If I don't understand, need more information to resolve my questions, I ask for it. Something not always easy to do with a Filipina. ;o)

Third; I am more patient! I am also more aware of our cultural differences.

Forth; I am a lot more thoughtful. I call, write letters, send cards, and flowers.

Fifth; Sometimes I keep her guessing and make things a little mysterious. Just when she thinks that she has me pegged, I do something unexpected. The next time she sees me may be a total surprise. ;o)

Sixth; I let some things go and try not to keep beating it like a dead horse.

Seventh; I took off my "rose colored glasses." I try to see things as they really are and not like I want or imagine them to be. I try to listen to other peoples opinions, since they can often see a clearer picture.

Eighth; I try to trust my instincts about a situation. If I am uncomfortable I look for more answers.

Ninth; I learn everything I a can about the Philippines and its culture. I look for Filipino and Asian stores in my area, so that my future wife will be able to find some of the food and familiar items of her homeland. I am thinking about making one of my toilets a "no flusher." ;o) I also make a fool of myself by asking Asians if they are Filipinos, if I suspect them to be. Either way, I am now friends with several Koreans, Chinese, and a dozen Filipinos. ;o)

Tenth; I hang out at Planet Love.

I will get into some of the horror stories another time,

Dave H.