Need some honest advice

[LP]

... in response to Re: Lambasting?...., posted by John LV on Dec 13, 2002

..two David. And I know your history here. And I know that anyone who claims to be (or needs to be) so far apart in personality on a BB and in the flesh ain't operatin with erected gyros.

I don't think you're a bad guy, but you sure are your own worst enemy. One's life is often a product of one's enviornment and whether one allows that to occur or not is the $64,000 choice.

What would I have done? I would have never let it happen in the first place because I'm not often a slave to my emotions. Why do you supose that is? Because I *have* heard of such evil. In fact, I've had to deal with it myself. Your situation is actually a cakewalk compared to a few I know of. Still, I know it doesn't make it any less painful for you. As for other advice had it been me, it's moot now and you've shown you don't listen well anyway.

Who hasn't dealt with this crap? You're a tyro, thats your problem. You're just dealing with the same stuff most of us already have. Ironicly such people are less equipped to deal with it later in life than earlier, funny how that works.

Ok, you tried and she stuck it to you. Doesnt mean she is inherently evil. (although it's possible, because she's a Russka..lol) She will likely find someone who'll work out better and live happily ever after, as will you. Thats assuming you stop being your own worst enemy.

You will survive this and be a better, not lesser, man for it.

[John LV]

... in response to I know it takes...., posted by LP on Dec 13, 2002

I hope you are right about that, although I couldn't imagine any man being happy with Natasha, unless he loves to do all the cleaning and all the working to make a living at the same time?

That's hard to imagine, and that is why you never know someone until you live with them, and that’s why I would never just bring a girl over here again and get married in months or less, no way, that simply is not enough time to get to know someone, and having to wait an entire year to even get her over here to begin with is a sick joke. That is why I'm considering moving to the FSU, and since I've been to Prague twice and liked it there, that seems a logic choice to start.

Believe me LP, think whatever you would like to about me, that I need help or have a disorder of some kind, but I'm telling you the truth that I treated Natasha very very well, I gave her everything, did everything for her, and I got back very little in return.

I had everything invested into our relationship, time, money, and more effort to get her than any girl I have ever chased, from sending her 3000 via western union over an 8 months period, to spending thousands of dollars on telephone bills, to buying a computer for her while she was in Prague so we could talk for free via Net2Phone on the Internet, to buying her two brand new cars, to teaching her to drive, to every single thing I did for her, which the list would be endless.

I walk away from this relationship with a clear consciousness, I did everything in our relationship, she is the one who did nothing and then acted as if I was the worst guy in the world.

I know that I'm much better of without her now, but the fact remains that this has put a serious dent in my trust with woman, in my opinion its too bad woman have to be the way they are, and its even worse that us men need them, its certainly a curse from God and not a blessing, unless of course you are lucky enough to find a good woman, then blessed indeed you are.

LP, seriously, you say, "(although it's possible, because she's a Russka..lol)", why do you say this, and please be honest. Are Russian girls this way typically? Is life in Russia so harsh that it makes woman like this?

Because I have met some other Russian woman, and I'm sorry to say but I'm not impressed at all, they seem very cold to me, sort of like going out with a girl from NY City, or even worse. What is your honest opinion on this?

David

[LP]

... in response to Re: I know it takes...., posted by John LV on Dec 13, 2002

...Lemme explain sumthin to you I learned from 4 years of being an LEO. Basically, in general, human beings suck. This includes the fairer sex. Women are capable of the most despicable acts known to man and only men who are lonely or lack confidence in dealing with them place them upon a pedestal. By doing so you often forfeit your own sense of worth, a bad move.

Now don't get me wrong, they have their place in the grand scheme of things and I like them too. I'm not saying they should be abused, or even used, but any man who waxes poetic about women in general is an ignorant fool and is just cruising for a bruising. Chicks are just people and because of their emotions, are often a mass of conflicting logic. Lol, compared to us they're continually operating in something akin to an altered state.

My experience is that the vast majority of FSU women have some form of hidden agenda, as do most women. That agenda can be overtly evil or so sugar coated it's barely perceptable. Even the sweet ones (and I've met some very sweet ones) are always looking for an angle, especially in the beginning of a relationship. That agenda may vanish if she becomes sweet on you but it lives on if she doesn't. This is true of most women and with FSU women that cultural seed was planted and took root long before some American smuck like you came along.

How Joe Smuck deals with it, how he pierces the fog of his own emotions when dealing with them, is the key to seeing what they may become in the future. In general, most of the men involved in this lack experience with woman in general or allow thier loneliness to run their brain. This seems to be what happened to you. Hopefully you've now learned a lesson.

Be extremely careful around all women. Love the one you think is right for you but never forget she's still only a woman, simply another human being who'll eat your lunch in a heartbeat. They aren't anything special, not even close. And never delude yourself into thinking a particular one is, because they all seem to be when you're just starting out with one. Yeah, I've heard they're all individuals. Hell, everyone is an individual...just like everyone else. Understand?

The fact is they're just like men, animals. Only worse. At least you know why you got involved in this. The key is to never depend on anyone for your happiness or confidence, especially someone you've placed in a position to hurt you. Thats not saying you shouldn't trust them, it's saying you shouldn't need them. Its better to have a woman around than not, but to need one is the single greatest crutch most MOB men have. And when the hidden agenda reveals itself, most no longer have a leg to stand on.

Don't feel too bad, you ain't alone. What a pal of mine calls the "Power of the Bush" has long caused problems for men. Throughout history kingdoms have fallen, wars fought, entire countries changed, all because of it. Since it comes from within ourselves the POB is one of the most potent forces in the universe.  Never underestimate it or shrug it off. In fact, be afraid...be very afraid. Respecting and understanding it as well as learning to deal with it will save you mountains of grief. In some ways what just happened to you was a good thing.

In essence, wise up and consider women an enhancement to life, not a neccessity. You come first, they don't. Take care of number one in the future, never lose sight of that and you'll *probally* do ok.

[WmGo]

... in response to Last call....., posted by LP on Dec 14, 2002

LP,

Good post "dude"

[John LV]

... in response to Last call....., posted by LP on Dec 14, 2002

That was an incredibly interesting post, and you surprise me to say the least, if you ever come to Vegas, please allow me to buy you a drink, or many drinks if you like.

I think you would be a very interesting person to talk with, and certainly I could learn something from you.

However your post does seem to contain a dichotomy within it?

In any event, you only validate my beliefs about woman, the very reason why I did not go out with any from the ages of 22 or so to about 32 when I started talking with Natasha.

And from what you just said, I can't imagine why I would want to go out with another one?

It seems all women are for then is? What? Sex? Companionship?

Hmmm, very interesting, very interesting indeed. It would seem to me then that the only way to come out on top would be to remain in a position of power over them, using money, and using power to keep them down, keep them in their place. And when one goes astray, to simply get another one as easily as you would go buy a new pair of pants, throwing the other pair away as they don't fit right anymore?

I guess you don't believe in God? If not, I'm sorry about that, because I know he does indeed exist, although I used to be an atheist as well. But if you do, why do you suppose he would make woman the way he did? I would think that either he made a mistake, or he wanted us to suffer.

Yes it would be far easier to believe in Evolution as I used to, that religion is much much easier to believe in, the gods of chance and time are much less cruel and mean.

What an incredibly absurd joke this world is, and with each passing day I only hate it more and more, at 35 I do not believe I will ever see 40, but not because I'm depressed, but because I'm sickened by the waste of time this world is, I see nothing to be happy about.

Thank you for your post, it was indeed very enlightening, and my offer stands if you ever come to Vegas.

I wish you happiness if you can find it LP, regardless of what I may have said about you in the past, I like you.

David

[LP]

... in response to Re: Last call....., posted by John LV on Dec 14, 2002

..You got it all wrong. Women are good for far more than that and I don't think they are lesser beings than men.
They're the same, thats my point.

You make it sound as if I hate them. On the contrary, I think they're great to have around and definately add to the quality of one's life. But you need to keep them in perspective and as a rule not worship them. After all, the one you couldn't live without today will be a distant memory tommorow. More fish in the sea and all that, it even applies to many marriages.

Nothing lasts forever and until you come to grips with that you won't understand. I like them all, it's just that any one (or all of them) aren't a must have situation. Like most things in life, some come and some go. How you handle that is important. And how you use that knowledge going into the next one (assuming the nmarriage or relationship fails) is tantamount to avoiding future problems.

At least until you find one that fits. Then you can *somewhat* relax. Even then, you shouldn't put her at the center of your universe. It simply isn't worth it because she could turn on you for the strangest reasons. It's all about respecting yourself in addition to respecting them. They are nice to have but they shouldn't make your world go round. If they do, you're already in trouble.

[LP]

... in response to No, no...., posted by LP on Dec 14, 2002

...It's got nothing to do with how God made women, it's how He made people. And whether I beleive in God is irrelevant.
(I do, but not organized religion. lol, and I spend most of my working days closer to him than most.)

Life is hard, real hard if your stupid. Learn from your mistakes and know that all people are bad, just not all the time. Every one of us is capable of the worst things imaginable, it only takes the proper circumstances and right amount of pressure. Due to their emotional nature, this level often appears lower in women.

Look at it this way: Speaking of God, a women's perspective on things was forever proved when the first one took dietary advice from a talking snake!

[John LV]

... in response to Re: "that will never come only leed..., posted by Globetrotter on Dec 13, 2002

Buddy, you simply do not understand what our relationship was all about, you do not understand the tens of thousands of dollars I have spent on her, the time it took me to teach her everything, you cannot possibly imagine it.

And you cannot imagine the extreme betrayal she has done to me, lying through her teeth, buying me a birthday cake, right before she went out and had sex with another guy, and to have the nerve to tell me about it and still expect to not only live in my place, but to also sleep in my bed, HELLO. Do you get the picture? No you don't, because I promise you sir you have never in your entire life heard of such a thing, have you?

No you haven't, nobody has, because there are no people like that in this world, only her.

You have no idea what I have been through, and words on this message board could never describe it, but lets put it this way, she is one of the luckiest girls on this planet she is not dead right now, because she deserves to be.

David

[Globetrotter]

... in response to Re: Re: "that will never come only ..., posted by John LV on Dec 13, 2002

Grow up...get a life.

Stupid is as stupid does!!!  Buddy.

[John LV]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: "that will never come o..., posted by Globetrotter on Dec 13, 2002

Grow up get a life?

I love the Internet, because only on the Internet do people feel they can say the things they say, how much you want to make a bet if you and I were in person, you wouldn't have the balls to say anything like that to me?

If you feel you would, come to Vegas and prove it to me, but I'm willing to bet you don't have the balls to do that, few people do pal.

[LP]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: "that will never co..., posted by John LV on Dec 13, 2002

...Better listen to him Davey, he has more wisdom in his pinkie than you have in your entire body. And knock off the "I'll kick your ass" attitude, it's what got you in such trouble in the first place.

I realize you be twisted up these days but slide back to that and we'll all be on you like an ugly on an ape.

[Globetrotter]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: "that will never co..., posted by John LV on Dec 13, 2002

Dear Stupid,

I have 15 years on you, but you would last about 15 seconds and limp away with about 3 or 4 broken bones.  If you like knives...never mind tough guy.  

You're right though, you won't make it to 40!  You are the most educated, dumbest kluck I've ever read about.

[Globetrotter]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: "that will neve..., posted by Globetrotter on Dec 14, 2002

David,

I'm sorry.  You are in a bad way and I did not mean to add to your problems or frustration.  You are strange here as few come to a public forum and continue to add to the saga.
Most ask for help, it is offered, (as I offered) sometimes taken, and things improve.

I don't know your past as others here do.  All hope you do better in the future, don't repeat mistakes, and live a long, happy and fruitful life.  

Your proposal of a street fight was also not smart.  Never try to pick a fight with someone you don't know.  Someone is always tougher.

You have been given a great deal of advice.  Take some of it and move on...no vindictiveness, no revenge, no hate.
Just be smarter than before, and be happy you are not writing 6 or 7 figure checks to be rid of your problem.

[John LV]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: "that will neve..., posted by Globetrotter on Dec 14, 2002

Talk is cheap, when can you come to Vegas?

Or are you too chicken for that?

I have more intelligence then you ever thought about having moron, name your subject so that I can make you look like the idiot that you are.

Come to Vegas and show this second degree black belt with an IQ of 186 how its done, please?

David

[Globetrotter]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: "that will ..., posted by John LV on Dec 14, 2002

Wow...second degree black belt.  Tae Kwon Do I hope.  Then we'll be even.  Now, if you've also boxed for 35 years, been in more street fights than you can count, you'll have an edge.

Fix your problem first.  I would never not throw a float to a drowning man.  You are very, very sick.

Best of luck in your survival!