Trip Report -- Russia in November (Long)

[Ryan]

[This message has been edited by Ryan]

I have been writing to one woman for 5 months I found her at the agency Volgagirl.  She had been listed on this site for over one year and I was the third man that she corresponded with threw this agency.   I had asked her what made her go to Volgagirl in the first place and she said that she heard an advertisement over the radio and that it cost her no money to sign up so she gave it a chance.  She told me she wrote to one man that said he didn't like her, she then was written by another man that she didn’t like then after all most a year I came along wrote her and sense that time we managed to write over 300 letters to each other.  We send pictures, talked on the phone and wrote E-mails as well as postal mail.  We broke all ties to the Volgagirl agency from the first letter as I put my gave her my E-mail address and told her to write me in this way only.  She has a computer in her home so she wrote most all letters in Russian and I translated them with Free Internet translators.  I sent her Roses at her work and received a picture of her holding them, she sent me gifts threw the mail that I never had a problem receiving.  She was taking privet English lessons the whole time and we ended up using her teacher for when I met with her family.  I never had much of a problem communicating with my pen pal.    

I had a ticket purchased before I ever met this woman because I was planning on making a trip in the late spring to the Ukraine areas.  I canceled this trip, as I didn’t have enough woman line up to visit with.  I needed to use the ticket within a year so it just worked out and I made plans to visit my new pen pal in Togliatti Russia.  I requested a Visa that I received through the help of a travel agency/Visa service out of New York.  I then waited and saved money for a trip in November.  I didn’t know how I was going to get from Moscow to Togliatti so I simply asked my friend if she could help.  Come to find out that she was impatiently waiting for me to ask her to meet in Moscow.  She wanted vary much to come a meet me in this city and travel with me back to her city.  I took the big chance laid caution to the wind and let trust rule my heart and let her set up everything.  Before I did this I sent her copies of my Visa and passport as well as copies of my plane ticket with times and all.  She then setout to reserve my airplane from Moscow to Togliatti as well as a train ride for herself to Moscow and finally a train ride for the both of us from Togliatti to Moscow.  I offered countless times that I would send her some money for this travel but she refused every time saying that it was no problem she would take care of it.  During this time I learned a lesson that she didn’t like talking about money.  I wanted to know all the details and how much money I should bring but in the end I took what I felt I needed.  She wrote in one letter all the costs of the place that I would stay and ended the letter with the sentence.  Ryan you are not on an island by yourself I also have money.  I never talked about finances again.  

I had this girlfriend/pen pal scan in all the tickets of my travel in her country just in case I needed them to show the customs people.  It was also a good way to make sure that she purchases them but by this time I had felt I had somehow established some trust threw the numerous letter writing.  But I really was just letting this all happen and was taking a big chance hoped that we liked each other and all that goes with this.  Yes, I am crazy but I feel you have to take some chances in life in order to get what you want.  I packed my bags and flew to Russia.

I landed in Russia and filled out the customs form declaring only my cash and some gold and diamond rings/jewelry that I wear.  I flew through customs with no problems and walked out into the crowded terminal to find my friend standing waiting in a beautiful fur coat and matching hat.  She smiled a big smile and we gave each other a big hug.  She had 5 yellow Roses for me and I had some fine chocolates from London for her.  She had hired a taxi driver that she used from the train station and we used him for our travel to the next airport for our plane to Samara/Togliatti.  We got to the airport she paid the taxi and we headed into the airport.  At this time we went to have a seat to wait for our plane and just sat looking at eat other asking questions both in amazement that we were actually with each other.  She asked me if I wanted something to drink and I said yes I would have a beer.  She went and got us two beers and some nuts.  At this time all I remember was holding a bottle of beer in one hand and a cup in the other while she fed me pistachios one by one.  I looked up at heaven and said to myself… Ryan this is going to be one fast trip you are never going to want to leave this woman in 12 days.  In the end I was right.  We got on the plane to Togliatti and just sat their holding each other kissing each other and looking at each other the whole way.  From the beginning we were laughing and joking and smiling about just anything it was chemistry at it’s best.  

We reached Samara and her father was waiting to drive us to Togliatti.  Her father gave me a big smile and a handshake and grabbed my bags and headed to the car.  We drove for about an hour I sat in the front with her father and was just amazed how similar this countryside looked to my area here in Michigan this is including the weather. The weather in Moscow and Samara and Michigan are the same.  At one point a deer even ran across the road it was really strange I felt like I was at home driving up north going to the cabin.   He got to the city and it was typical Russian city with the Russian apartment buildings and busses and such.  We drove out between district one and two of this city and my apartment was located on the Volga River at a resort rest area.  Her father had set this up for me, as he was the head carpenter boss man of this area.  My apartment was on the highest floor over looking the river with two huge bathrooms a big bedroom, living room and foyer area near the entrance.  The bathroom off my bedroom had a new three-person bathtub it was all Russian first class.   Up to this point I never got my wallet out and paid for a dime.  Her father help with the bags to my apartment then left and when out to the car where he waited while my girlfriend made me tea, cut some sausage, cheese and bread while we sat and talked.  She went home soon after as I was tired from my travels.  

The next day she returned at 11:00 in the morning.  I had time to unpack and clean up the apartment to my liking.  I had rose shaped candles that I brought in the bathrooms.  I had my flowers in a vase on a table.  Everything was put away and I sprayed my best cologne all over the apartment.  When she walked in the apartment she was impressed that everything was so tidy and clean.  We had some more tea and then went for lunch at the clubhouse.  The menu was preset breakfast, lunch and dinner was reserved for me at set times and at a set table each day.  My first day for lunch they happened to be serving borsch so I was in heaven.  I ate all my food then finished off my girlfriend’s food.  She enjoyed the fact that I liked the Russian food so much and we joked and laughed about as always.  All the while her father was also eating lunch across the room with his work friends.  A practice that only seemed to happen this one time.  The rest of my day was just a blur at this point my girlfriend and I enjoyed each other company so much it didn’t matter what we were doing.  I sent her home in a taxi the second day at about 9:00.  It felt good these first couple days having the evening to myself.  I need time to grasp what was happening, take some nice baths and just relax and reflect.  On the third day we went to the registers office in the city, district three I think, to register my Visa.  We went into an office where two nice looking women were working.  I sat on the couch while my girlfriend did all the talking she filled out some paperwork then we left.  The next day was a Saturday so we went to the bank paid 20 rubels and took the receipt back to the registers office.   We went into the same room she filled out more paper work and in about 30 Minutes time I got my passport stamped.  The woman told my girlfriend that next time I should travel on a privet Visa and not a tourist.  We went to lunch to celebrate our good fortune and luck and that evening I had dinner with the family.

Earlier on the second day I asked my friend about how much I should pay for my apartment and the travel arrangement she had made.  She pulled out about two hundred American dollars worth of rubels and told me what she has spent I gave her about $750 and two hundred for the rubels she gave me for spending cash and everything was set.  We never talked about money again.  She would pay for most everything we did while I paid for some things as well as bought souvenirs and such.  Everything was perfect nothing like the Ukraine where I was footing the bill for everything.  It was even I paid and she paid the rest of the time was just good laughs jokes and just plane fun.   She had a great sense of humor and we got along great as always never even a hint or red flag of any sorts.  We were truly falling in love with each other.  

Dinner with the family was just great.  I had the interpreter at the house and my friend’s mother had made all sorts of food up.  I ate and ate until I was ready to burst as we all drank champaign and laughed.  Never a quit moment, I was on that night and had them all rolling on the floor.  My girlfriend and I were like a comedy team and so alike in our humor that it was spooky.   The evening was a big hit then my friend and I took a taxi back to my apartment.  This was the first night that she slept over and this practice remained the same the rest of my stay.  We had a great time, sitting in the baths with candles and champaign exploring each other and just getting to know everything about one another.  We are so much the same down to our feet and hands mine being just a little bigger.  We had the same birthmarks and freckles in the same places.  If she didn’t live in Russia I would think we were related.  We were quickly learning that we both could not live without each other.  She told me she was the happiest she has ever been in her life being with me and I felt exactly the same….

Part two cooking food together, touring Moscow for a day in a limo and the goodbye….

[WilliamF]

... in response to Trip Report --  Russia in November (Long..., posted by Ryan on Nov 25, 2002

Ryan - congrats on your success. Russian women are the best, and it sounds like you lucked into a great one. Another "go to Russia to meet one woman" success story! So much for conventional wisdom...Will

[juio99]

... in response to Re: Trip Report --  Russia in November (..., posted by WilliamF on Nov 26, 2002

William, how can this be judged a success story?  I recently went to Russia and met 12 women.  I could have decided that any of the 12 were 'the one' and could have written gushy (and real) stories about 'that one.'

But, by having the chance to compare the 12 ladies (and several from previous trips), I knew in my mind and in my heart, that none of them were 'the one,' at least not yet as I don't know any of them well enough.  I did spend 10 days with one and 8 days with another, but still didn't think I knew them well enough as some guys think they do after a week.

If I had spent all of my time with only one lady, I might very well be going through the K processs right now because many of them seemed pretty cool when viewed in isolation.  But when you take time to compare them against each other, that is when the flaws start to show up and you realize that none of them are 'the one.'  

And this is not to say that I have no flaws, nor that I am looking for a perfect gal or will ever find a perfect gal.  It is just that by having a chance to compare, you can have a much more rational thought process and not go all 'ga ga' over one.

To me, the concept of 'success story' goes a bit further.  I was married to one woman for 28 years.  Was that a 'success story?'  Well it wasn't to those who are married for 30 years.  It certainly wasn't with respect to my parents who celebrated their golden wedding anniversary, nor for one of my sets of grandparents who made it to 70th anniversary.

JR

[Ryan]

... in response to How so William??, posted by juio99 on Nov 27, 2002

I was wondering how did your grandparents married 70 years meet?  Did they compare each other with many partners?  Or did they just somehow know they were good for each other and that they both loved one another.

[juio99]

... in response to Re: How so William??, posted by Ryan on Nov 27, 2002

They met just like most folks did back then.  The went to the Saturday night dances where guys and gals came from miles around.  They each danced with many and stole away behind the barn to kiss with many.  They went to school together for about 10 years and their families visited each other often.

They both freely admitted to infatuation but thought that love does not come until past 10 years or so of marriage.

JR

[thesearch]

... in response to Trip Report --  Russia in November (Long..., posted by Ryan on Nov 25, 2002

Ryan,

Wonderful trip report. I am so happy for you. She sounds like a wonderful lady. Appears like you lucked out my friend.

Ryan, you could have remained paranoid as a result of your Lugansk lady. You went back to the approach of trust and were not disappointed this time.  Congrats to you and her.

[Richard]

... in response to Trip Report --  Russia in November (Long..., posted by Ryan on Nov 25, 2002

I'm glad to hear that your trip went well.  I hope everything works out for the best.  I am curious as to what your plans are for going back to visit her again are?

[Ryan]

... in response to Re: Trip Report --  Russia in November (..., posted by Richard on Nov 25, 2002

Thanks for the good wishes.  I guess I sort of deserve some of the comments that I am getting here.  Oh well what can I say…   I will be going back to Togliatti in May at this time I will visit with her and her family again.  I will ask her father if I could have her daughters hand in marriage.  My girlfriend and I will then travel to St. Petersburg for a few days over the 300th celebration of the cities history time.  I will propose to her at this time in this city as she has told me it is her favorite and that the sky is just beautiful.  From this point we will travel back to Togliatti and I will have a ball rolling on the Fiancé Visa stuff…  From this point the next trip over would be again in the November area for final stuff in Moscow meeting or what ever I have to do.  I hope to have her here in my arms by Christmas of next year.   Again this is if all goes as plans…  No mater what I am going to make all this happen.

[KenC]

... in response to The Future..., posted by Ryan on Nov 26, 2002

Ryan,
I am very happy for your great trip.  I hope everything will work out better than you plan.  I know exactly how you feel at this moment because I went through (note spelling please.  It is not "threw") a similar time in meeting my wife.  I am concerned about your last sentence though.  "No mater what I am going to make all this happen."  It is good to be determined, but it is bad to thow caution to the wind.  There are many things that could still happen that will "matter".  Do not proceed blindly.  As pefect as everything seems to be, it is still better to keep your eyes wide open for any possible pitfalls.  I wish you only the best.
KenC

[tim360z]

... in response to Trip Report --  Russia in November (Long..., posted by Ryan on Nov 25, 2002

appears that finally all is well for you,  takes a little time,  Huh!

[Ryan]

... in response to Nice to read your report Ry..., posted by tim360z on Nov 25, 2002

It has taken about three years just to get to this point and I suspect if all goes well about one more year until she is sitting here in my home next to me.  Then it is the emotional trip, you worry and wait wondering if she will even like you and then when she turns out that she really loves you and you love her then you have to leave each other at some airport and be apart until paperwork and meetings and the marriage actually happens.  Finally the money you have airfare, housing and all the other crap that goes with this journey and I feel so far I have gotten off easy on the money side.  If you ask me we must be just a little crazy to put ourselves through all of this….  Then again if you would have asked me last week when I was sitting with a 25 year old hard body in my arms I would say no problem I will go through this 10 more time if need be...

[juio99]

... in response to Time, Emotions and Money, posted by Ryan on Nov 25, 2002

Ryan, as I said before, I wish you well; however, I think true love takes a few years to develop.

JR

[Globetrotter]

... in response to Time, Emotions and Money, posted by Ryan on Nov 25, 2002

Everyone wishes you success.  I think you were the one who got snookered for cash the first time around and wouldn't believe those who told you so.  Then it was agencies were crap and personal ads were best with great results.  (So..
where did you meet this girl???)  Then you liked looking up girls skirts and at nipples through seethrew blouses.

Just taking the "Michael" out of ya.  Sounds wonderful.  Just cool down, be sure, make a few more trips in the next several months, and the next 20 to 50 years will tell you if you did the right thing.

One more thing, even though she doesn't like to talk about money...a good prenup is worth discussing in about 8 or 9 months, just to cover your ass.

[juio99]

... in response to Trip Report --  Russia in November (Long..., posted by Ryan on Nov 25, 2002

Ryan, I am happy for you.  Sounds like a pretty good situation with the gal and her family, however, don't rush things.

One thing I didn't understand.  You said that she indicated that she had spent $200 for the apt.  Then you gave her $750 plus $200 more for the rubles she gave you for spending money.  So you gave her $950 and she gave you or spent for you $400.  She was then up $550, right?

Then you said it was unlike Ukraine in that she paid for everything from then on.  But didn't she have your $550?

Sorry, I got lost here.

JR

[Ryan]

... in response to Some clarification, posted by juio99 on Nov 25, 2002

Ya sorry about that...  She spent $450 for the travel to and from Moscow and Samara or the both of us all ways back and so on... I didn't want her to pay for this so I gave her the money. The apartment cost $300 for the 10 day at $30 a day a deal for what it was.  This makes the $750.  Then she exchanged for me $200 U.S. into Rubels so I paid $950 total... This is for everything on this trip not including my tickets to get to Russia...  I got that for $750...  She makes good money at her job and I think it is nicer for her to have some U.S. dollars this is why she exchanged money instead of a bank etc.  She paid for the Moscow happening and that was about $2000 rubels for the both of us..