Trip Report -- Russia in November (Long)

[juio99]

... in response to LOL, posted by KenC on Nov 25, 2002

Regarding the age related posts, I would think the two of you had enough clout and extra goodwill built up that you could be a little more forceful in your comments on that topic.

JR

[KenC]

... in response to Ken and LP, posted by juio99 on Nov 26, 2002

JR,
The truth of the matter is the age difference totally depends on the couple.  Most couples couldn't survive a very large age difference but there are exceptions to that too.  I personally went to  good friends of mine to ask their advice.  He was 25 years older than his wife of 18 years.  Both are Americans and about the happiest and most romatic couple I know.  They both told me that the age difference was never a problem for them.  
-
It does take a unique couple to pull it off though.  The man has to be very secure in himself and they have to be truly in love.  How do you test that?  Sh!t, I dunno.  Lena lives a very active life, with and without me.  Frankly, after some hard days at my buisness, I just want to relax and veg.  It was no different than with my exwife that was 1 1/2 years younger than I.  The key, as I see it, is for the couple to live full and active lives seperately and together.  Each has to be an individual first and half of a couple second.
-
I think it is very ironic that LP's and my opinion on this subject are very similar.  I would never recommend a huge age difference, yet I married a woman 25 years younger.  I believe that LP would also not recommend a big age difference , but he has had long term relationships with much youger women.  Go figure.
KenC

[juio99]

... in response to truth is, posted by KenC on Nov 26, 2002

LP, see this is what I meant.  I knew Ken was married to a younger gal, but I also knew he was a very rational person who understood he was in a lucky position.  Not to say he and wife have not worked hard at their success, but he knows it is not something he would go around highly recommending to everyone.

So LP and Ken, I just wish you had posted more clearly under the original topic rather than having your comments buried down here.

And what is this with the other guys thinking that those who preach caution are somehow not wanting anyone to be happy.  Actually, we are most concerned that people be happy.

JR

[LP]

... in response to Thanks Ken and LP, posted by juio99 on Nov 27, 2002

....95% of those who preach caution are doing it out of concern and usually, empathy. You have to always remember what kind of people make up a significant portion of MOB guys. To them, preaching caution will never be heeded because the hole in their souls yearns to be filled asap.

Until they're honest with themselves about this dirty little secret everyone knows yet no one talks about, there will always be those who respond when the nerve is touched. Especially those who know inside they might be making a mistake but don't have the fortitude to overcome the burning desire to plug that hole.

[KenC]

... in response to Of course...., posted by LP on Nov 27, 2002

LP,
You hit one of the key reasons for failure in this MOB business.  AM go into it to fill the vacancy of "wife" and they do.  Whether she is right or not is secondary.  The vacancy will be filled.  The guys that are most objective in this are the one's with no burning desire to get married.  If guys would treat the agencies more as dating services rather than marriage brokers, they would be better off.  It is the forcing of marriage that doesn't sit well with me.  That goes for the women, the agencies and the INS.  All three are too quick to encourage a marriage that may not be right.  Some guys just go along for the ride and end up in a nightmare.  Ask JohnLV.
KenC

[Globetrotter]

... in response to Of course...., posted by LP on Nov 27, 2002

Glad to see you write so often, you being the biggest proponent of "caution".  When I got divorced after 7.2 years
which is right on the national average, I watched my "sweetie" turn from a loving, caring person to a lying cheating, thief, which cost me 6 figures.  My sister is a dual national, married to a Frenchman and there for 6 years,
2 kids, lots of money for a French couple and is now more French than American, and she had trouble adjusting.  Husband is a PhD and she is an artist living in Paris.  One would think it just doesn't get any better than that.  She also speaks like a native, drives a Fiat diesel car...to fast like everyone else, and exhibits the common "French road rage"...hand gestures, etc.  She has cautioned me that it was difficult for her to adjust.  Just think about someone from a totally different society, and how they would feel.  I agree.  

No matter what anyone believes or chooses to believe about adjustments to be made here, and because marriage at best is a 50-50 gamble, caution should be the word of the day.  Some will do well, others will do terribly.  

When I was 18 and working in a well drilling yard for the summer, a 22 year old I worked with was the youngest married guy I had yet met.  I asked him what married life was like.  He said, "Great for me, but it all depends on who you marry, and your attitudes toward each other."  It's still true today, as simple as he said it.

I'm much like you in that I don't have a hole to fill.  I think that I'm pretty happy as things are now, but can I make it better is what I ask.  

I even used to have some fly toys like you...a C-177, Dtype Bonanza and a 46 Ercoupe...am also an A&P so I would sell my services at a discount rate to myself.  What's your toy?
I was never home long enough to fly them, so traded them in on cars that people only dream about, which is a little safer hobby.

With so many girls to choose from, and so many unknowns, this is indeed a dangerous game to play.

Regards

[LP]

... in response to Re: Of course...., posted by Globetrotter on Nov 27, 2002

...that 22 year old is today and how long he stayed married. It didn't count back then because he probaly had only a few years of marriage under his belt. I bet he was happy in a marriage so new, how could he say otherwise? The voice of youth....

A Bo and a Scarecoupe? At least it wasn't a V type Bo, those things killed a lot of people. If you weren't home to fly, how were you home to drive? After I got into motorcycles, cars were boring. After airplanes, motorcycles were boring. Be that as it may, I still own and enjoy all of them. My screw around on the weekend car is a DMC 12, everyday driver is a Turbo Supra. I was never much into ultra expensive cars, they're often lousy investments.

Fly toy? You didn't mention the plural so I'll give you my favorite: the L39. Thats the one that eats my cash and demands the most attention. And you think a Scarecoup is dangerous? ;-) Had a T210 and a 177RG for awhile also, the Cardinal RG is a nice ship.

[Globetrotter]

... in response to Wonder where...., posted by LP on Nov 27, 2002

Found the L39 Czeck Jet.  Looks like an impressive ride, and rather expensive to maintain.  I see where thousands can disappear in an afternoon, but a nice ride.

[LP]

... in response to Re: Wonder where...., posted by Globetrotter on Nov 28, 2002

...great fun but eye wateringly expensive. Truth is I'm one of three guys in it and thinking of selling out.
Too rich for my blood, at least with the other toys. Amazing how friendly most people become when we bring that thing around. Great fun though, and it's been a decent investment as long as we ignore the operating costs.
(read that as a loss ;-)

[Globetrotter]

... in response to Yeah....., posted by LP on Nov 28, 2002

Your oversized BD5J (with an extra seat) still sounds like fun even if a fill up costs a Gnote.

I actually toured DeLoreans plant outside Belfast in 79-80 when they were making 6-8 cars per day.  I still have the promo info given to me by the PR Mgr.  Unfortunately it's only every photocopied car article written up to that time..
plus a rather tattered black and silver folder, but you're welcome to it if you like.  Tell me how to send it and it's yours.

The plant was right on the rail right-of-way from Dublin to Belfast which makes sense, since they needed rail access for deliveries.

[LP]

... in response to Some Goodies For You!!!, posted by Globetrotter on Nov 28, 2002

....BD5J? lol! Now there is a real lawn dart! I know 30,000 hour guys who've killed themselves in those things. Thats crazier than I am. Knew a guy who had one, he used to buy the mains from the hardware store. They were lawnmower tires! Lasted only a few landings. With that diameter, can you imagine the rpms on those things at a touchdown speed of about 100 knots? Yikes!

Thanks for the car stuff offer. I have all of that, although I'm not as into the car as much as others are. It's just a toy and makes me crazy just trying to keep it from exploding and burning to the ground. I once almost dropped it from a helo at an airshow, I got so pizzed at it.
Just please don't ask me about the Flux Capacitor or what happens at 88 mph, it'll be the first time I've heard that....today. ;-)

A excited kid on a bike came up to me last weekend and said "Hey! Thats the car from Back To The Future, right? Does it time travel?"

When I broke his fantasy he replied: "Oh, I'm sorry it doesn't"

I just sighed: "So am I son, so am I." ;-)

[Globetrotter]

... in response to Wonder where...., posted by LP on Nov 27, 2002

Funny enough, he's still married to the same girl, and his best friend, father to two married girls and grandpa to four.  Kind of nice to see it works out nicely for some.

Sorry, I'm out of the fly game for a time.  What's an L39?
I know Lear made a 35, as in Payne Stwart's final coffin.  You don't have a Lear as a toy do you?  Actually, when I sold my AC Cobra, could have traded even for one...but would have needed you to fly me around...and my time aint that valuable!

When I first soloed and had a "navigation memory loss" I needed to buzz the interstate to read the sign to see I was following I80 west.  A few cars probably thought they were about to get strafed.

[Jski]

... in response to Wonder where...., posted by LP on Nov 27, 2002

Didn't know we had so many pilots here, hell, I'll just skip that International stuff and do sales from home here.  So which one of you pilots can I interest in a 767 Tanker Transport? :-)  Sure there would be a bit of a problem with State as its on the munitions list, but we can work that later :-)

L-39  Nice.  I'll have to settle for my rental time in whatever is cheap and has a annual :-)

[LP]

... in response to Ken and LP, posted by juio99 on Nov 26, 2002

[This message has been edited by LP]

...out my current squeeze is 16 years my junior but I still don't bank on  her being around, even if I married her. I simply have too much experience with youngsters to believe otherwise. They all end up wanting someone with their own frame of reference, something even worse in a cross cultural deal. There may be varying exceptions but all the love in the world will not disarm the ticking "time" bomb. It just comes down to what the guy wants and the price he's willing to pay in the end.

Trust me, it takes looks, money, good physical condition, free travel (lol, and modesty) to keep the young ones and I won't have those things forever.

[LP]

... in response to Ken and LP, posted by juio99 on Nov 26, 2002

...Me?? On here?? lol, you must be thinking of someone else!

Fact is, Ken's wife is much younger and my last live in girlfreind of 5 years was 20 years my junior. But thats not the same as marriage or 30 years difference. Differnence in age is not the same as difference in matuarity. Everything Scaught says is true, and will be magnified more by even a slighty greater age difference. It's not a linear relationship you know

The fact any rational man would argue otherwise only shows how desperate and unplanning he is. It simples has no justification at all, a terrible price to be eventually paid. Of course, that assumes a 21 year old will even stay with a 50 plus year old anyway. She's still a child and the odds are overwhemling she won't, so why argue the point?

But let them have some happiness, it's their right. However, the clock will still be still ticking. Besides, the age thing has been beaten to death before. Still, it's amazing how some will rationalize such serious issues away.