My American Dating Journal

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to Re: Nico- My take on age-, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 18, 2002

Wayne,

Do not waste your time talking to an Oscar who needs to spend significant time and money finding himself a good "shrink" to help him with his problems.  Actually, sometimes the Oscar comes out with decent information.  None the less, he is one to just give information.  He is not fit to discuss information.

[Oscar]

... in response to Do not waste your time, posted by Bobby Orr on Aug 19, 2002

Sorry you feel that way bobby, because it was good old Wayne who became rude and went postal first.  I respond to people in kind, I don't start the shiit.
Sorry you felt the need to attack me without the facts..  If YOU would like to discuss your issues of blaming without the facts, I would be happy to recommend a good shrink for you!

 

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to Re: Do not waste your time, posted by Oscar on Aug 19, 2002

Heaven forbid anyone disagree with the Great Oscar.  Oh.........yeah.  Later

[Oscar]

... in response to Yeah, sure, posted by Bobby Orr on Aug 19, 2002

Yeah, that was a great comeback... NOT! LOL!  
I have no problem with people disagreeing Bobby, I only ask that they do it without attacking me personally.  Some people (like yourself) are just unable to do that..

Just let it go..

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: Nico- My take on age-, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 18, 2002

Wayne, I didn't, I said that if he wanted to go YOUNGER than 25, to look for a woman with a child, because she will be much more mature through her life experience and likely more ready to settle down.  A woman grows up quite fast when she is responsible for a child.

Regarding your phobia about a woman with a child-
Women with children are much less likely to be scammers than are free wheeling single girls.  They have their child to think of and typically are more family oriented than single girls who just want to play (not that single girls cannot become this as well).  If you look at the scammer pages, 98% of the scammers are single with no children.

If you speak to the many men here who have married women with children (my fiance has a child), you will find that they married their women because they fell in love with them, that the "financial" aspects of what would happen in a divorce was not a motivating factor in their decision and I think any guy who MAKES it a huge factor, should just marry an inflatable doll, because that is the only way to be sure you don't get screwed!  I love the fact that I already KNOW what kind of Mother my girl will be because I have seen her son and how she is raising him, and she is has done and is doing a fantastic job!  Something I would not know about a woman with no child.  Having children and having a great Mother for my children is very important to me, so this was great to learn about her.  I met some other women there who had children and I was NOT always impressed with what I saw, and I was glad to have seen it!

I think you are cutting out a terrific segment of the possiblities there to say you would never consider a woman with a child, but to each their own.  I would much prefer a 28-32 year old woman with a child, than one without because to me it shows she was able to make a committment and what kind of Mother she is.  In the case of my girl (as it is with many women there), the divorce was prompted by very poor choices on the parts of their husbands.  A woman there (or here in the USA) who has never been married or had children at 28+ speaks of possible committment phobia to me and that is a much greater thing to fear in my opinion, than a woman who is a Mother and doing a great job at it!

[Wayne1]

... in response to Re: Re: Nico- My take on age-, posted by Oscar on Aug 18, 2002

Oscar,

If you really are a psychologist, I think you haved to agree that we may need a few more sessions together for you to decide if I have a "phobia" or not.

I agree with alot of what you say.  If I would have met a really nice women with a child, I would have reconsidered.

But since there are so many women to date, I chose to limit my financial liability in the future by dating childless women who had not been married before.  Yes I may have missed a million or two good ones by not dating the girls with children, but what I did worked and I am happily married and planning my own family.

I am not discouraging you from doing what you are doing.  I wish you much happiness.

But the fact is that 50 or so % of these marriages are going to fail, and it's not a bad idea to understand all the information before you sign the I-130.  Why not?

Wayne

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Nico- My take on age-, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 18, 2002

Wayne, WHY do you keep misquoting me???  I did not say YOU had a phobia of committment, I said some of the women over 28 that have never been married MAY have some committment phobia and that I would prefer one who has been able to make that committment..
This is the second time you have done this! Sheesh!

It would be interesting to see a breakdown of the failed RW/AM marriages.  Those who came with kids and those that came without.  I don't have hard data but I would be very willing to bet that the marriages where the woman comes here with a child are more enduring..

[Wayne1]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Nico- My take on age-, posted by Oscar on Aug 18, 2002

Oscar,

Regarding your phobia about a woman with a child-
Women with children are much less likely to be scammers than are free wheeling single girls. They have their child to think of and typically are more family oriented than single girls who just want to play (not that single girls cannot become this as well). If you look at the scammer pages, 98% of the scammers are single with no children.

Uh....can you tell me where I miss quoted you.

I think there may be a twelve step program for people who can't remember what they posted.

Sheesh...

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Nico- My take on age..., posted by Wayne1 on Aug 18, 2002

Wayne,
I was talking about COMMITTMENT PHOBIA OF WOMEN- From my earlier post-

"I did not say YOU had a phobia of committment, I said some of the women over 28 that have never been married MAY have some committment phobia and that I would prefer one who has been able to make that committment.."

And I do not think we need to meet for me to know that you do seem indeed to have a phobia, I believe you have a phobia of trying not to make an arse of yourself, but I am here to tell you that you have failed Wayne... miserably... You had to go postal on me huh??  

It is obvious to me that you are some kind of major anal retentive Wayne, who's girl had to pass through the most ridiculous criteria.. Never been married, no children, parents who couldn't be divorced... what else Wayne?  She also have to have to be a virgin?  Never have had contact with any other foreign man?  Did she have to be a blonde and an exact height and weight too??  Geez!  Ok, so you found the only one eyed, blonde, single, parents in tact, Jehova's Witness, in the entire FSU.. Good for you..  Until of course, she gets around to telling you about the sex change operation she had in Helsinki last year!  Does she also know of your utter paranoia of being scammed by her??  How many useless pre-nups did you have her sign???  Ahh love, ain't it grand??

Best of luck in your analocity..    

[Wayne1]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Nico- My take on..., posted by Oscar on Aug 19, 2002

Oscar,

I think that if you get really offended by my posts and go off insulting me, that is not a good indication for your future with a Russian women.

Considering that I am usually so mild mannnered on these boards, and I often even examine both sides of my own argument even in the same post....  if you are fighting with me over such small things, I guarantee your new Russian wife will be ripping you a new azzwhole before you know it.  Dissagreement and fighting styles....yours is really nasty.

Believe me Oscar, 99% of Russian women will not put up with your nastiness during a dissagreement.  They are very, very strong women, and can be very stubborn.  If you anger and fly off the handle easily over small things, you are going to be in deep zhit soon after she arrives.

She is going to do many things during her adjustment period that can get you very angry.  Things like crashing the car through closed garage doors, washing your best suit in the washer, running over elderly ladies on the sidewalk with a bicycle and then yelling at them that they should watch where they are walking.

Yours will have a long list of her own that will be different then mine.  Are you up for the patience that it takes to stay married to one of these strong willed intelligent ladies?  By your nasty reaction to my mild mannered  post, I don't think so.

Chill out, it's not good for your blood pressure.

Wayne

Are you really a Psychologist?  I've never seen one so aggressive...

[Oscar]

... in response to Oscar, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 19, 2002

Wayne,

I am never agressive without first being targeted so you might want to look to yourself on that just a little bit.  You make it sound like you are completely blameless in escalating this thread!  Is this what you do with YOUR wife??  Start an argument and then tell her it's all her fault and that she's just over-reacting??  How about taking a little responsibility for your remarks??  You talk about being so "mild mannered", but what I see is passive- aggrssivness..

I am more than patient with these women and I think I know every bit as much about them and their personalities as do you.  I have no problem at all being completely patient with someone whose intentions are innocent.  I do not have patience for people who are rude on purpose, I just don't put up with it.

[Wayne1]

... in response to Re: Oscar, posted by Oscar on Aug 19, 2002

Oscar wrote,

"I am more than patient with these women and I think I know every bit as much about them and their personalities as do you."

Really?

Just out of curiosity Oscar.  How long has your fiance been in the US, and how long have you been living with her?

You know Oscar, I went back and reread my posts twice  to better understand what you considered going "postal".  Yes I misread the meaning of your 1st post a little.  But, I never attacked you personally.  My policy is that I never say anything on these boards that I would not say to a persons face.

Maybe you could enlighten me a little by cutting and pasting my "rude" and "postal" remarks in a post so I can see what you consider so awful.

It's been fun sparring with you a little.

Wayne

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: Re: Oscar, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 19, 2002

Wayne-

I have met and gone out with well over 125 women in the FSU, I think that makes me hardly a "newbie".  I have been engaged for 6 months.  You think you know so much more about EVERY FSU womans mind because you are married to ONE?  Why?  You have the perspective of only ONE woman Wayne.  So yes, I think I know these women as well as you do.

What set me off Wayne was your post that included this-

"I think there may be a twelve step program for people who can't remember what they posted."

It was rude and there was no reason for it Wayne, it was an insult plain and simple.  That is what set me off..  Instead of simply saying, "I think you misunderstood my post" or something, you took a cheap shot, so you got back what you got..

I really am a nice person and a patient one Wayne, but I won't be treated rudely..
Perhaps we were both feeling our oats today for whatever reason.  I can let it go if you can..  

[Wayne1]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Oscar, posted by Oscar on Aug 20, 2002

OK Oscar,

Now I get it.  The comment about the 12 step program.  You consider that comment going postal? LOL!!! I wrote that with a smile on my face.  It wasn't intended to be mean spirited at all.

You know my sense of humor could maybe be a little more creative, but man you could also lighten up a little.

You really are going to need that sense of humor when your new Russian wife crashes your car the 3rd time...LOL.  Or washes both of your passports in the washer....LOL

I'll bet you were a really fun kid to tease when you were little.  The kind that got so upset, you just couldn't resist teasing because it was so much fun to watch.

I feel a little like we are on the playground again Oscar...

Wayne

[Oscar]

... in response to Oscar, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 20, 2002

It's a shame to me Wayne that for all your talk about being "mild mannered" etc..  that you simply cannot say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you" instead of coming up with nothing but excuses for it..

Please don't lecture me about a "sense of humor" as those who truly know me know I have a very good one.  And in regards to needing one with a Russian wife, I will take advice from a man who has had a successful relationship with one.  I would not take financial advice from a stockbroker who consistently underperformed the market either..

As far as having fun "teasing" people Wayne, it is again unfortunate that you seem to derive such pleasure from doing so with people.. I believe in treating people fairly and if I tease with them, it is not at their expense.

Enjoy yourself on the playground, as I feel your comments are more appropriate there.. But you will be there alone.

You can continue with your "nice guy" put downs, or you can just let it go now Wayne..