My American Dating Journal

[MarkInTx]

... in response to My American Dating Journal, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

Interesting...

But your profile says that you are 45?

You really expected a 19 year old to call you back?

As far as that goes, I was told by a really pretty woman once that if a guy asks her for number, she almost always gives it to him (unless she gets creepy feelings from him). It's easier than saying no.

Women don't LIKE shooting guys down. Most girls are uncomfortable doing it. So, they just give the number. And don't return the call. After a while, the guy gets the message.

That's what I have been told by a few women...

(Which is why I never try to pick up a woman at a club...)

I'm not saying DON'T go to the FSU or Colombia, or whatever.

I'm just saying that just because a girl gives you her number, it doesn't mean that she doesn't want to go out with you.

As for the pretty women who consider themselves God's Gift To Men... yeah... they basically are "any port in the storm" kinda gals. A kiss from them means nothing more than you were the best they could do at the time...

My experience... FWIW.

[Nico]

... in response to Re: My American Dating Journal, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 16, 2002

MarkinTx. My profile doesn't say my age.It says "Total number of posts" .....45. (I'm 35)
You missed my point entirely. My whole point here is not why I struck out or what these girls meant or why they did what they did. My point is to say how bad the American dating scene sucks for the average American male.

                   Nico

[KenB]

... in response to re: My American Dating Journal, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

I understand your interest in younger women. They have a certain appeal sexually/physically. Most AW are really not interested in dating men who are 15+ years older than them. These younger women just want to have fun and are superficial in many ways which at your age you will pick up easily. You'd do better if you stuck within 5 years of you own age rather than going so much younger. I've been reading this board for several years now it is so very interesting how the men here love to bash AW, and how RW/UW are like jewels. I hate to burst the bubble but promiscuity is endemic there. They have one of the world's fastest growing aids rate. Everyone here thinks that all the women there are sitting at home knitting and cooking. I've been to the FSU and Ukraines 4 times already. I will say that the women there are more attractive and definitely thinner (we Americans are an obese society). I am not a fool however and there are numerous alterior motives with these women. One has to sift through the sense and nonsense and not be blinded by physical beauty. There are definately gems there but the same can be said for this country as well. We are products of our society and marketing both the men and women. My advice is to be as cautious there as here and don't propose 2 days after meeting a foreign beauty you truly know nothing about.
Ken

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: re: My American Dating Journal, posted by KenB on Aug 17, 2002


Although I don't disagree with the heart of your post.. this one I have to comment on:

"promiscuity is endemic there. They have one of the world's fastest growing aids rate..."

First, I don't think that promiscuity is ENDEMIC, which means that it is peculiar to a region... such as a tropical disease being endemic to a tropical region...

I would say that promiscuity ranges far and wide, and is not endemic to the FSU, but rather can be found almost anywhere. (Certainly Brazil would give Russia a run for its money, for instance...)

I would also say that the women I have met from the FSU were not MORE promiscuous than their American counterparts...

True, if you go over with the sole intent of getting laid, then you will... but the same can be said for any Saturday night here in the states. I'm not sure I buy that the FSU women have the market cornered on promiscuity.

Secondly, although AIDS is on the rise -- based on percentage of NEW cases reported -- in Russia, the culprit is drugs, not sex, as reported in the St. Petersburg newspaper.

Interestingly enough, they came to the same conclusion that you did: They blamed sex. The person interviewed stated that 10% of the AIDS related cases were due to sex, and yet when asked for a solution, her first response was: "Well, we need better sex education in the schools, obviously..."

No comment on a plan to stop the 80% which was being spread by intravenous drug users...

Don't mean to go off on a rant... but it's a pet peeve of mine.

The fact is that men and women having sex has not been a major contributor to the spread of AIDS anywhere... And yet that is where everyone wants to spend all of the time and money trying to "fight" AIDS...

But, "Maybe that's just me" (As Dennis Miller says after his rants...

[Apk1]

... in response to One Point, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 17, 2002

I asked my wife about this when I was visiting her in Moscow, was she dating Russian men also? Her answer suprised me.

What she said: I do not have a boyfriend, but the men at my work ask me for sex all of the time...whenever there is a celebration at the office, men and women leave with each other......even happily married men and women have affairs all the time, it is because they are bored...or looking for excitement. My wife did not get caught up in the affair routine because she felt it was not right for her...she only would sleep with someone she thought would be faithful to her.

She told me that when she in highschool...back in Soviet times, girls did not have sex as much as they do now...it was forbidden..but everyone talked about it because of thier curiosity. When she was at Moscow University, things changed....it was like everyone did it with everyone.

After Paristroyka (sp) many women started having babies out of wedlock. Now, she says that girls are having sex at age 13...much too young. It used to be that the older boys were aggressive in wanting sex...now she says the younger girls are the aggressive ones.

[snowwego]

... in response to re: My American Dating Journal, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

Are you sure you are not having a mid life crisis and you are looking for the youth that you once had. It sounds as if though you are looking at the outside more than the inside. Think of this beauty is only skin deep but, ugly goes clear to the bone. Look at the heart and think rational. If you go after a young girl she is going to want to party, and you are going to want to settle down. There is a big difference in the maturity level. think about it

[BrianN]

... in response to Re: re: My American Dating Journal, posted by snowwego on Aug 16, 2002

You kiddin' me?

He went after all age ranges and got the same sh|t from all of 'em.

I've been in this same position, but maybe it was me or maybe I didn't have hair and didn't drive a porsche and live in a $250,000 house like most here do...

Either way, it's a dam good thing they all sh|t-canned him.  Now he's going after someone that's actually available, blonde or not... and they're probably 10x better for him than any snively waffling idiot non-wife-permanently-divorced-i-wanna-get-laid-only chick he could find here in the usa.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Rick..., posted by BrianN on Aug 17, 2002


I do have hair...

I don't drive a porsche...

My house is not $250,000...

And I did not date 19 year olds.

Of course, if you adjust for the age difference (I was 40 when dating AWs) I didn't date 24 year olds either. They were fun to watch from a distance, but if I want to have "girl-talk" conversations, I will talk to my 8 year old. Actually, she makes more sense than many of them, who still think that clubbing and "getting wasted" is fun...

I did date some extremely pretty AWs. (All around age 30...)

I don't think any of them were attracted to me because of the Jeep Wrangler I drove at the time -- even though IMHO it is cooler than a Porsche...

Dating them was never the problem. It was finding one that I wanted to marry that was the problem.

I agree that he will have a better class of women to choose from in the FSU (or SOB, for that matter) than the women he has been pursuing here.

But I do wonder about someone who has spent the majority of his dating life trying to hustle young beauties at clubs, and wondering why they wouldn't call him back -- and maybe I'm just an old codger, but that's what his "diary" sounded like to me...

Hey, you can do that in Kiev, too. The Maximum Casino was loaded with young college women on "Ladies Night." They out numbered the men 12 to 1 the night I was there.

I am sure you could go and dance all night with some amazing beauties... and then have a very similar diary after a year...

[Bob S]

... in response to Well, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 17, 2002

"Hey, you can do that in Kiev, too. The Maximum Casino was loaded with young college women on "Ladies Night." They out numbered the men 12 to 1 the night I was there.
I am sure you could go and dance all night with some amazing beauties... and then have a very similar diary after a year..."

If he spent a year chasing young dyevs at the Maximum or The Duck, each diary entry would end the same way.

"...and then we went back to my place where the vodka and body fluids flowed freely.  The next morning, she tidied up the place and slipped out quietly while I still slept.  I never saw her again."
(-8

[Nico]

... in response to Re: re: My American Dating Journal, posted by snowwego on Aug 16, 2002

I don't know. Why do you say that?

[MarkInTx]

... in response to re: My American Dating Journal, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002


I did misread.... sorry about that.

(Still think 35 is too old for a 19 year old... but...)

As for the fact that the American dating scene sucks... you will get no argument from me!

Could not agree with you more!

[Nico]

... in response to My Mistake, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 16, 2002

Well Mark it obviously is too young for the standards set forth by American culture. Read this. I posted it before in a different forum in response to an outlash against an agency who advertised introductions with 16 year olds...

About the sixteen year olds.

1st let me say that I generally agree that having the sixteen year olds on the website gives critics of our use of these agencies more ammunition. 2nd of all I think most of us would agree that it would be extremely difficult to make a relation with a girl of that age work in the good old US. American society with its conceptions, values and influences would work strongly against this union.
So is this a bad thing? (Mature men marrying teenage girls) Well it wasn’t until the last maybe 60 years or so that these unions weren’t so uncommon here in the US. I’ll bet that there are men on this site that were born of such a union. Any of you educated, established, decent men in your 30’s and maybe in even 40’s would have been considered a prize catch for a women of that age way back when.
Not anymore. The emphasis for these young ladies now is away from family and motherhood and toward education and career (or maybe partying and sex). Go to any of the nation’s high schools and ask these young ladies what they’d like to do upon graduation. How many of them in these modern times are going to say “Oh I want to be a wife and mother” vs. “Oh I’m going to college to become a such and such?” Or I’m going to work” The college and work females would overwhelmingly outnumber any who want to prioritize family and kids.
Is that good? Well, the good news is we have this highly educated female workforce, and therefore make good use of our female resources. (In the work sense) Maybe it even contributes to this great economy.
I do feel there is a price however:
1)   Divorce with all of its negative effects on our kids and families, is out of control (I could elaborate but in an effort to keep this as short as possible I won’t)
2)    The teenage girl that is discouraged so fervently from marrying an older man (never mind that he is mature, intelligent, established, decent ect) or any good man for that matter, is instead encouraged to go college and move into a dorm with all this great freedom where she can and does very often drink herself half blind every other night and sleep with various partners.

My conclusion is that this union is only bad because American society says its bad. There are pluses and minuses. That same union would often work if one lives in some nations other than the US. As for myself I’m not so gung ho on meeting and marrying a teenager (I’m 35), but it is quiet unnerving when American women say 10yrs younger than you think you’re ancient. It wasn’t that way for my grandfather. No wonder I’m going abroad in search of a wife.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: My Mistake, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002


I think, however, that a teenager is not mature enough to marry.

If I were a teenager, and we were both immature, maybe it would be different (though the potential for disaster would be greater...)

I can't imagine marrying a teenager. Even "just for sex" I can't imagine it. Yes, they have incredible bodies... but sex isn't all about firm breasts and tight skin.

When I think of the lovers I had back then, and compare them to the lovers I had who were in their thirties... it's not even close...

Not that I was Don Juan. So, maybe some guys who were more experienced can tell a different story.And, yes, I think back fondly on my first girlfriend...

But... Marry her?

Nope. I wanted to then, of course...

I know better now...

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: My Mistake, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

It's certainly been discussed on this board before but I will give my 2 cents haveing been there 4 times-

If you have a 15 year age difference-
A woman 20 and a man 35
A woman 25 and a man 40

Are they the same??  I would have to say absolutely not!
What woman truly knows her own mind at 20??  There is such a vast difference between 20 and 25 from a growth and maturity standpoint.  
I will say that women in the FSU are typically much more mature than their AW counterparts, because life is much more difficult there, they have to grow up faster just to often survive!  So I feel personally that an FSU woman who is 25 is typically easily as mature as a 30 year old AW.. If she has a child, then even more mature than that..  But to me, a 20 year old is a 20 year old in either culture..

Women in the FSU tend to marry young.. The 25 year olds I met in my experience there, and heard about, were definitely looking to get married and start a family...  Problem is, they can't easily find a RM who has a good enough job (or a job at all) that wants children as they can't afford them!  

If you are 35, I would personally be looking for a woman who is 25+ there, perhaps 23 but only WITH a child.    

Just my 2 cents..

[Wayne1]

... in response to Nico- My take on age-, posted by Oscar on Aug 17, 2002

Oscar,

Why do you tell Nico to only look for a women "with a child".  Yes, this is OK.

But... the financial responsibilities that go along with bringing a women into this country with a child are staggering if the marriage goes south.

It's not even close to the risks of marrying an American women with a child, it's far worse.

Your new foreign bride can very easily use your support document in family court to force you to pay child support for years and years even if you have only been married a short time.  

So yes, it may be the best decision of your life, or it could put you in the poor house.

I wouldn't ever consider bringing one over with a child.  Not with the screwed up laws that we have currently.

I think many guys that get involved in this have no idea of their potential financial exposure if it doesn't work out.

Wayne