end and beginning........

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: Re: Oh Christ... HE's a YANKEE, posted by Mark H on May 15, 2002

Moron like you is going to read it.

[Mark H]

... in response to For The Record -- San Antonio, posted by MarkInTx on May 14, 2002

Mark,
I AM FROM SAN ANTONIO. This dork must know that. Actually, San Antonio is now the 8th largest city in the nation and I love my city very much. YOu are correct, I am not returning after boards. This guys a dweeb.

Mark H.

[BarryM]

... in response to For The Record -- San Antonio, posted by MarkInTx on May 14, 2002

I believe this website is based in San Antonio. It was the last time I check it out.

http://russia-in-us.com/

-blm

[WmGo]

... in response to end and beginning........, posted by Mark H on May 13, 2002

Mark,

Congratulations on finishing your degree. Good luck on the boards.

In assessing the bona fides of the FSUW, consider the fact that she brought the names and addresses of you and probably every other AM she ever wrote to with her to America. Does this sound like a woman who is in love with and has made an honest commitment to the man? Does six weeks have any ring of sincerity?

Obviously not.

Just think about it: she marries the man in *Russia* and makes sure that she has the address (email or otherwise) of every American man she ever corresponded with when she comes to the States (don't flatter yourself by thinking that she only brought yours).

Only a woman who was plotting and planning ab initio would do such a thing. And of course she *has* to blame the man in *some* way. What else is she going to say? Have you noticed throughout the history of the FSUW phenom that the "bird in a cage" claim is the most common? There is a reason for this - all FSUW compare notes. It is the easiest claim to make as it requires essentially no corroborating evidence and is difficult to refute, and is not so sticky as a claim of abuse. Is six weeks even sufficient time to support such a claim? Clearly not. If he was "weird", why did she marry him in Russia in the first place? By making such a claim she basically admits that she just used him to get to the States.

If she was sincere, she would already be back home with momma. She would not be utilizing her "resources" to stay here.

I wouldn't trust her with a ten foot pole.

Caveat emptor!

Regards!

WmGo

[Mark H]

... in response to End it before it starts, posted by WmGo on May 13, 2002

Wmmmmggoooonnnna say it straight!!!

Hey guy, you are correct. I've thought of all the things you are saying and I have all my 'sensors' in check. I'll be watching what she says, how she says it, and so forth....I also realize what the heck...she's here!

Mark H.

[DE]

... in response to End it before it starts, posted by WmGo on May 13, 2002

[Oscar]

... in response to End it before it starts, posted by WmGo on May 13, 2002

I think this is a bit premature to think she is nothing but a scammer after leaving a guy 6 weeks into it!  There are a LOT of guys who can be rather strange, to put it mildly, looking for women in the FSU!  Who is to say that the guy wasn't a total loser and was deserving of being left??  I hardly think this woman would have to resort to looking up past guys just to land a man here..  If she's cute at all, there are plenty of new guys that would likely accomodate her..

All I am saying is to get the facts before you jump to conclusions..

Later

[WmGo]

... in response to Re: End it before it starts, posted by Oscar on May 13, 2002

We *were* provided sufficient facts from which to draw a valid common sense conclusion. Although many, perhaps most,AM writing and traveling to the FSU *are* "weird", the saddest reality is the fact that most AM, weird or normal, ignore the multitude of red flags waving in their anxious faces....

[Jack]

... in response to Re: Re: End it before it starts, posted by WmGo on May 14, 2002

very true statement.

[thesearch]

... in response to Re: End it before it starts, posted by Oscar on May 13, 2002

it is rare that I can not spot a total loser (woman) within minutes that I am around her. How did and why did she miss this one? Yes some people can fool you. Too many questions here - so many that no one can comment with any certainty but only speculation.

[Dan]

... in response to Re: End it before it starts, posted by Oscar on May 13, 2002

And as WmGO said, the facts do not speak to someone of good character.

There are, quite simply, too many great women over there for anyone to be content with anything less than a person with whom (and in whom) they feel implicit and complete trust.

I almost never respond to posts of this sort - because the 'truth' is just impossible for us to 'know.' Still, the few salient points in this instance are just too much to ignore - IMHO.

FWIW

- Dan

[MarkInTx]

... in response to end and beginning........, posted by Mark H on May 13, 2002

First off, I'd call her. I mean... why not? You wanted to meet her before, and now meeting her just got easy... might as well... (Have her meet you in Vegas ;-)

But... three things that would be interesting to know:

1. Does the fact that she left her husband mean that she needs to find another way of staying in the US. I know that it is possible to stay, but it might be a struggle, and marrying someone new might simply be easier...

2. How many other guys did she send an email to? (I know, you can't know this, but it would be good to know...)

3. Is the Restraining Order a gimmick? Or was she really abused in some way?

I don't think that anyone can really comment on her character until they know those three things. If she needs a new meal ticket, sent out 30 emails to "old flames", and just got the restraining order to have leverage in court... then, of course, stay away.

But, it is also possible that she a) could stay in US easily anyway, but b) she always was interested in you, and still wants to see you (did you give her a time frame as to when you would be graduating, btw? If she remembered that, it is a very good sign) and c) she got scammed by some guy who romanced her, and seemed like a good guy, and she discovered she made a huge mistake.

If scenario A) she's a nightmare. If Scenario B, you may have just become one of the luckest guys on the board, because your Princess is here and waiting for you.

Who knows, though?

My vote: Call her. You'll never know until you do.

[Mark H]

... in response to Three Questions, posted by MarkInTx on May 13, 2002

Mark,
I'll try to answer your questions.

1. Does the fact that she left her husband mean that she needs to find another way of staying in the US?

NO. She doesn't need anything from me or any other American man to stay in the country. She is here and will not be deported. She's going to court within the next 2 weeks to force her husband to sign the divorce papers. He's refusing to sign. Her lawyer is handling everything. As for money, she has her own job and her own money. She wants NOTHING from her new ex-husband. He had bought her a nice SUV, she gave it back to him and doesn't have a car. She wants nothing from the guy. I thought that was cool.

2. How many other guys did she send an email to?

No sure. You're correct, I have no idea. I remember when we were writing, she had to go to her mothers work to write me, and she did...every day for almost 4 months. She's a quality chick, I don't see scammer at all.

3. Is the Restraining Order a gimmick? Or was she really abused in some way?

I've talked to her on the phone several times and even talked with one of her American girlfriends. The American girlfriend told me some interesting stories and validated how freaky this guy was. One of the first things he did was take all her clothes she brought from Russia. He said the dresses were "too short for AMerica" and he didn't like everyone seeing her legs. SHe's quite beautiful.

Soooo, I've called her and we've talked alot already. I"m planning to see her in a couple of weeks and we'll see how it goes.

One thing I think is nice about it is this: we have no 90 day waiting period! We can actually DATE and get to know each other as long as we want. We can even live together if we want without any time constraints. I like it. Also, I will never have to "sign" for her to be here. I know she wants to be with me as she can pretty much have her pick of any American guy she comes across. We'll see. I'm too busy to worry about anything, I"m taking it as it comes.

Mark H.

[BubbaGump]

... in response to Re: Three Questions, posted by Mark H on May 14, 2002

He bought he an SUV?  That is one generous guy.  I'll bet she was just taking advantage of some geezer for the plane ride over.  As for getting rid of her dresses, a lot of stuff the women in Russia wear would not be appropriate at all over here.  Maybe anything goes in San Diego but not in the conservative South.  I have seen a lot of Russian women advertising on American dating sites and I wondered what their story was.  

Remember, the women cannot be deported if they claim abuse under current immigration law.  All the women have to be informed of this law.  This rule was pushed by feminists that wanted to encourage this type of reporting so they could say what crazy guys we are.  A rule like that only encourages all the Russian women divorcing to claim abuse whether true or not.  Before the new immigration rule, the reported abuse of Russian women was extremely low.  

Believe it or not, very few immigrants are deported.  Over 250,000 immigrants a year are ordered deported but the INS is not doing it.  No wonder we have a terrorist problem.

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: Three Questions, posted by Mark H on May 14, 2002

That you called her and didn't give us these facts.

Now you have left out, where she is living now (city)?
And how far away she is from you.

But of course, your going to date her... Is it going to be a long distance romance? A state or two away?  That's great, your in there!

Where is she working at?

If she's that fine looking in short dress, you can bet she'll be dating more than just you.  Which is cool.  I'm all for her establishing ties here in the states and getting with the local customs.
--
Maybe I am wacked on the kind of woman that I am looking for.  That I want a good motherly lady to take care of ME.  I want my lady to have her own business at home raising our kids, as well.  (prior to me, meeting any woman I do look at her current job skills, I don't want to marry a woman that is a accountant or a rocket scientist, where she could be making more money in Russia/Ukr. and living a decent life over there, I don't want her to have to lower her standards for me, only to be unhappy and think the what-if-I stayed home mental game.  The girl that I get will, not be going backwards in life, but always forwards in her economical well being.

If it means, marrying a country girl with no college or university education. So be it.  I am realistic to my surroundings and opportunites.  

 I'm looking for someone with a background that is similar to mine.  No doubt, I pass over alot of women.  But ya just gotta have some sort of bearing on what you think will work out in the long run than just picking anyone off the street or internet mail order bride site.
---

You didn't tell the size of the town she came from in Alabama.  I know in the big cities you can wear short sexy dresses, but out her in the rural areas.  The lady will be deemed something less than honorable, if she wears something too sexy all the time.  I'm not against her where something sexy at home or nice occasions out.  But, if she knows she's the hottest looking girl in the county.  Why fan the flames and get more attention than warranted.  I will adress this to her, but not take her clothes away.  (Ya got to admit, most guys will try and talk it out before something drastic of that magnitude would have had to take place).  If she speaks english and can write it, she has a pretty good education where she rationalize with the other person.  (I do know about a guy on this message board who is a rancher and would have to tell his wife to put on jeans to come out of the house and give him a hand doing something in the barn. Dress are great don't get me wrong, but if you live in the country she really needs to know when to wear jeans and when not to...  She complied with his wishes).  

It's really how comfortable you would be with the gossip factor, if you lived where I lived and the type of people that I live amongst (a bunch of two faced a%%&#$@#!). Or, if you lived in a big city, well your just another face in the crowd.