I think I have a problem

[terry]

A few week ago, I posted about  the RW I have been talking to for two years now. How I just knew she was the one for me. well. turns out she may be one of the best scammers you have ever run across.  on friday, march /22/02. she messed up. she had told me she was not working with any ladies now in Russian to meet American men, but, she would be busy for the next two weeks with a friend of hers that she was going to help out and that she had some letters to write. well , I started doing some research. here is what I found out, I looked her name up in pal talk  and came up with 23 different accounts in her name.  can not explain why this was a red flag for me.  I wrote and ask her about this, she wrote back and said, I can't tell you everything. did not like this. so did a little more research. found 17 more accounts in her name in pal-talk.  she wrote me and  told me she was sorry for not being honest with me.  I do not feel I can trust her now.  She is telling me how much she loves me and  that I do not understand how life is there. however, she lied to me. and if they do once, then it will become a habit.  that's the way I fell. what about you guys.

I am getting ready to give her the direction to the next thing she can kiss

[BrianN]

... in response to I think I have a problem, posted by terry on Mar 25, 2002

You know, It takes all kinds... but, a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do to survive, day to day, emotionally and financially.  If this girl's never had a chance in hell to meet anyone, and get serious with her, then you're going to see exactly what you're seeing.

Third world countries suck.  Economies suck.  Life sucks.  You do what you can.  I'm with Ryan on this.  Go there, and see her for yourself, then start to re-evaluate the red flags again.  They might not be as bad as you think.

I've stuck around for 3+ years here in the usa for a woman, (of course I'm a fool too), but if I were in Russia or Ukraine, I might consider holding out for six months to a year... but not any longer than that.  Afterwards, everything is fair game.  People do get worn out after a while and start doing their own thing -again-, because with so much time lost, it reverts to the simple game of life again.  

This is a two way street.

I'd definitely go see her anyway, just to see what happens.  You never know.  You've developed enough of a personal relationship over the two years, with enough knowledge about each other to at least give it a slight chance.

(and she actually paid you back for the scanner?  Sounds one hell of a lot better than ANY scammer report that I've ever heard.  This girl actually RESPECTS YOU!).

[thesearch]

... in response to I think I have a problem, posted by terry on Mar 25, 2002

Terry,

You said that you found another guy she was writing to and you compared letters and they were similar. Was she professing love for him also? How did you find him?

I am starting to wonder how many of these women tell several guys the same thing to get them over and to meet them. I mean if most guys do not go, some may feel they have to do this. These to me would be the ladies who have a first agenda of getting out of their country. This is not good, or perhaps is not good. I am sure there are good marriages with women who wanted to get out of the country first and hope for the best with whom they marry.

However, it will be with these type of women that more failed marriages will result IMHO.

However. there is one odd thing here. You have sent her very little money and she has spent a ton of time on you. So, how much did she make an hour off you?  I would bet that it is almost non existent. So why would she spend this much time? She is either a nut, determined to get a foriegn man, or you could be high on her list - who knows, you could be number one and the others are alternatives.  However, I am with you, the lies are a problem.

[terry]

... in response to Terry - I have a question., posted by thesearch on Mar 27, 2002

Sorry, one other thing, she told me she had to do what she was doing in order to pay for the internet service  so she could be with me each day. strange

She has also told me that many of these women get letters from men asking for nude pictures of them so they can see what they really look like. not thur e-mail as much as letter to the ladies home.

[terry]

... in response to Terry - I have a question., posted by thesearch on Mar 27, 2002

I have a son that own's a hosting co. He is real good  at this. he and I got into a few of her rooms on pal talk while she was talking to another man.  From his user name , he was able to get his e-mail address.  I sent him an e-mail about it.  Now please don't ask me how he did this, I am not very smart when it comes to computer's, He is the one that found all the different rooms she had there and different e-mail address.

You may find this interesting. I am still talking to her. We were on pal talk for about three hours yesterday. she know that I do not trust her very much now, however still wants a relationship with me. I really am having a hard time understanding this because I did cause her a real problem with the other guys. Now she tells me she was just playing with the other guy. Told her it was not right to do that.

Now , I am not trying to defend what she has done. I do feel she is a good women. she has worked with hundreds of women there to try and help them find a husband. Here is what she told me. Most of the women get many letters from men not only from america, but other places. a lot from Germany.  Most only write two or three times and they never hear from them again. some have been writing  to men for years and have never had one come over to see them.  I could write a book on what she has told me about letters from over here to ladies over there. also about some of the thigns the ladies do .

It was quite sad yesterday on pal talk. I knew from time to time she was crying. she would try to keep me from seeing it. Oh, one other thing, when I sent her the money to get the web cam for her computer. she was very happy and could not wait to see if i really looked like the pictures I had sent to her. she had told me that some of the ladies had got picture of men that were 10 to 15 years old. they did not look like the picture when they got there.

I feel that the men that come to this board are very sincere in finding a RW. the one thing we do not know here, is how many men sit behind a computer and play with these ladies.  Now , I am going to get jumped on for this. She has told me many times that a lot of Russian women learned how to scam from american men.  What I am saying is , there are two sides to this.

I know this is long, I'm sorry, but this may help someone. she does not feel that she lied to me. here is how she explained it to me.  She lives with her mother and has a 20 year old daughter. her mother has to have medicine, but she does not tell her how much it cost her to get the medicine because it would upset her, she just keeps it from her. She really wants to be with me, but is not sure that will ever happen, so she keeps the doors open. she does not want to upset me so she keeps it from me.  She told me of a man that was writing to two women she knew that she was helping thur an service there and he was telling them both the same thing, he loved them and only them, etc.

Last, I ask her why after what had happen, she stills wants this relationship. she told me that the one thing she can say is I have allways been honest with her. even if she did not like what I told her.  Coming from her, there are a lot of women that just want a ticket out, but, there  are a lot of women that are really looking for true love also.

On the money, did sent her money, does not bother one bit. she could not live on what i sent her. but did sent a lot of gifts. On thing really interesting, I did loan her some money one time. It was more of a joke on my part.  she wanted a scanner so she did not have to pay to put pictures on disk.  she payed it back.  I tryed to tell her she did not have to, but she did anyway, not all at one time. when she would work as an interpeter. she would find an american man she could trust, write me a letter and ask him to mail it to me when he got back. she would put a little of the money in it.

[wsbill]

... in response to I think I have a problem, posted by terry on Mar 25, 2002

Do you think you'll ever go see her?

Why don't you write a few and then 2-3 months later go a visit them.  Pick a city or region and follow through with your quest.

[terry]

... in response to Re: The sad think is....you've been talk..., posted by wsbill on Mar 25, 2002

I think you missed the post  from a few weeks ago. I started writing a few ladies. Mila was never one that I wrote to. Mila would translate letter's for a lady I was writing there. It did not work out between her and I. A few weeks after I stopped writing this lady, I get an e-mail from mila explaining this and that she would like to writ e m e if it was ok. Mila was a very nice person. she would write me everyday. had her own computer. we were more friends, to me, than anything. she ask me one day when I was coming to see her. I told here at this time that I did not feel we would be right for each other. she was very upset about this and we did not write  for a while. but she would still send me e-mail on my birthday, etc. we started writing each other again about 6 , 7  or8 months ago.

 I really , at the time still looked at her as just a friend.  we know a lot about each other and i was getting ready to go there in June , this year.  she has a web cam, thatI sent her the money to get. we would get on pal talk each day and talk to each other.  we could see each other and talk to each other. I did start getting deep feeling for her, but never talk about love or anything like that. now she would . I knew that at one time she worked with a lot of women there writing to AM. She told me she did not do that anymore.  Which was no big deal. I could care less if she did  or not. about three weeks ago, I decided that maybe she was the one for me. I wrote and told her that I wanted to come see her.  she was one happy person . even told me she would have waited on me till she died. I guess that was good for the ego. But there was something that told me, be careful with this.  I was not writing to  any other lady, just her.  it is not the point that she is writing to other men. it is the point that she was lieing to me. never ask her, she would tell me this. up until two weeks ago ( or three weeks)  that was her business.

 She did get a little money out of me. no big deal. I sent the money as a friend, not a relationship at the time. I do have to say this, she is good:) I was a little mad yesterday. my ego got banged up alittle. but  after looking into this, she is good.   she does not run any ads she does not have to, she works with a lot of ladies there and when it does not work out, she just picks it up and write's to that person. I talk to a guy last night that is writing her also. we compared a few letters and they are alike. after getting over  the ego part, now it is a little funny to me, but sad also, she is a very smart lady. good English. computer. scanner, the works. and she is on it all day long. I think I will still write to her as a friend.

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to Re: Re: The sad think is....you've been ..., posted by terry on Mar 26, 2002

Why don't you just get off your computer, get on a plane and meet her?  Have the names and numbers of agencies in her city and if things are horrible when you meet her, go meet other girls.  To keep on writing seems like a large waste of your time to me.  Additionally, it keeps you from meeting good girls - and the only way to go is to fly over.  If you snooze you loose.  Sitting behind a computer screen for years is snoozing.

[terry]

... in response to Why not see her?, posted by Bobby Orr on Mar 26, 2002

Hi Bobby
I am going in June. Also , I am going to find a few more ladies  to meet while I am there.

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to Re: Why not see her?, posted by terry on Mar 27, 2002

Good luck.

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: Re: The sad think is....you've been ..., posted by terry on Mar 26, 2002

Just to totally verify you were writing to a lady and not some dude.

[terry]

... in response to Re: Re: Did you ever use the telephone a..., posted by wsbill on Mar 26, 2002

also , will talk to her today. she teaches English there. when she gets in from school. I will get an e-mail form her telling me she is home.

[terry]

... in response to Re: Re: Did you ever use the telephone a..., posted by wsbill on Mar 26, 2002

Sure did, many many times, talk to her on the phone sunday. she is who she says she is. I see her everyday, she has a video web cam and I do also.  I have seen her bed room, and all that is in it. that is where her computer is. we talk to each other, see each other about 3 hours a day. seen her mother, daughter and her daughter's boyfriend. her mother will walk up to the computer and wave at me.

[tim360z]

... in response to I think I have a problem, posted by terry on Mar 25, 2002

Like Terry,

   I don't understand at all, pal.  2 years of communicating???  Have you been in-person with her?  Uuuummm!  Its really nice and all that she loves( says she does) you---but have you 2 ever been like together in reality.  Scam?  What are you scammed of???  How much time have you 2 spent together???  I really don't understand your post too much.

  But,   for openers...no good girl from there is gonna be telling you how much she loves you,  unless---well,  you are 1 heck of a letter writer.  Like in the Pulitzer arena.  And even then,  I would doubt it.  Thats more of in-person stuff,  than virtual stuff.

  Sounds like she's hooked on the internet...for whatever reason one can only surmise.  It sounds to me like you 2 have been talkin' for 2 years and thats about it.  So whats the problem???  I just don't get it???

 

 

[Cordobes]

... in response to I think I have a problem, posted by terry on Mar 25, 2002

Terry,

   I am ver curious what is Pal-talk ?   can you tell me more about it and where I can find it.

Thanks.