new here, hope this isn't the wrong place

[new_here]

Hi everyone,


Thought i would just post here and hope I'm not doing the wrong thing.


I'm not limiting my search (not that i've done any yet) to just asian women, so I'm not sure if I should post here, or post in off topic, or repost the questions I have in the latin section too. Any advice with this would be good.


I'll give you a quick run down of my situation and see if I'm doing the right thing being here.


I'm in my 20s, and I use an electric wheelchair.
Unsurprisingly I want a relationship like everyone else, it just seems harder to attain for obvious reasons.


So I was wondering, would being in an electric wheelchair cause issues with finding someone in this manner? That's the starting question! Any advice?

[robert angel]

Welcome, we have a guy who posts here once in a while named Kaz1983--you can look up his posts if you search for his name in 'members' here. Anyway, Kaz is in a wheel chair and has gone to the Philippines several times, staying for months sometimes. I think he might be there now for six months.

Anyways, he doesn't typically do the 'big city' thing, so the Philippines, which isn't really set up like say the USA, for wheel chair accessibility, still it is quite manageable, even outside of major metro areas. I don't think Kaz (he's an Aussie) has had trouble finding nice ladies who are very fine with his situation, but last time he wrote me, he was set on a particular lady he'd been seeing for a while.

Just like all of us, you have to take the time to search for someone who's compatible, but I don't think your situation should hang things up much, if any. I've seen some cute ladies on the sites who were in wheelchairs themselves! Go for it!

[piglett]

Hi everyone,


Thought i would just post here and hope I'm not doing the wrong thing.


I'm not limiting my search (not that i've done any yet) to just asian women, so I'm not sure if I should post here, or post in off topic, or repost the questions I have in the latin section too. Any advice with this would be good.


I'll give you a quick run down of my situation and see if I'm doing the right thing being here.


I'm in my 20s, and I use an electric wheelchair.
Unsurprisingly I want a relationship like everyone else, it just seems harder to attain for obvious reasons.


So I was wondering, would being in an electric wheelchair cause issues with finding someone in this manner? That's the starting question! Any advice?

glad you could join us New_Here
we were all new here at one time
so if you have a bunch of questions fire away


In the Philippines they call people who tell others
" oh you can't do that" " oh you can't go there" crabs
here in the states we also have our fair share of the same type of people


always remember crabs never get online & try to meet a person from the other side of the planet
they also would NEVER have the guts to get on a plane & go to Asia
they rather stay home & try to keep the rest of us down
FORGET THEM!!!
there are many pitfalls but there are also many rewards


start checking out the trip reports
start reading every thread you can


good luck


piglett
 

[new_here]

I will start looking through the posts now. [size=78%]I'm from England if that effects anything[/size]

Out of interest why is the russian forum archive only?

[size=78%]Any advice or tips you can think of for someone in my situation or should I approach it just the same as everyone else?[/size]

[michaelb]

I'm not sure exactly why they split that one off, probably something to do with the new ownership when this board was sold a few years ago, i.e. one new owner was willing to take the Latin and Asian sections and a different one wanted the Russian section. Mind you, I don't know that for a fact, that's just a speculation. What I do know, however, is that if you're looking at the place where it tells you that the Russian section is archive only, if you click on the link indicated, it will take you to the new Russian forum, which is still active and has lots of traffic.

[new_here]

are there any threads in particular you guys would recommend I look at as a newbie here?

[robert angel]

As said before, kaz1983 --look for his name on the members list and read his posts. Some mention his wheelchair situation and experiences in the Philippines. Not sure if you have to make a certain number of posts b4 you have access to archived posts(like 10 or 12?) I know to do personal messages, you do.

I find that overall Filipinos are very cool about physical situations, wheelchairs etc. Some other nations, generally speaking, aren't as friendly.

Good luck!

[piglett]

here is one of his trip reports that i found


http://www.planet-love.com/index.php?topic=7151.0


good luck








piglett

[Ray]

So I was wondering, would being in an electric wheelchair cause issues with finding someone in this manner? That's the starting question! Any advice?

　
Hi new, welcome aboard.
　
I'm sure that being in a chair will inevitably cause some issues to come up in your search. I guess it depends a lot on the extent of your disability. Are you able to take care of most of your personal needs, except for the mobility issue?
　
My experience is mostly in the Philippines, so I’ll offer a few thoughts on that area of the world.
　
I have known a couple of guys who were also in a chair and were able to find a good, loving mate in the PI. I think the main problem may be one of accessibility.
　
Most of the public transportation (jeepneys, tricycles) is not set up to handle passengers in a chair. The taxis are small. Can your chair fit in a Toyota Corolla? A private jeepney or van with a driver can be hired but it will cost more.
　
For example, I remember when I was staying at the main hotel in a smaller city and there was another guest in a wheelchair staying there at the time. The hotel only had 2 floors, all the rooms were upstairs, and there was no elevator. Whenever he wanted to go up or down the stairs, the front desk would get 2-3 staff members to carry him up and down and carry the chair separately. But it all worked out.
　
Traveling between islands by ferry or pump boat would be an issue also. You may find yourself restricted more to the larger cities.
　
They also use 220V 60Hz power, but you may need a simple plug adapter. There are a lot of power outages in some locations, so charging your chair may be iffy at times. There is also flooding to worry about in some cities and good sidewalks are not always available.
　
Can you also use a lightweight folding chair? I was thinking that might work a lot better over there.
　
But the Filipino people are very friendly and helpful, so I’m sure they will find a way to get you around almost anywhere. And I’m hoping that our Aussie Kaz can give you more info.
　
I wish you luck in your search!
　
Ray

[robert angel]

Hi everyone,


Thought i would just post here and hope I'm not doing the wrong thing.


I'm not limiting my search (not that i've done any yet) to just asian women, so I'm not sure if I should post here, or post in off topic, or repost the questions I have in the latin section too. Any advice with this would be good.


I'll give you a quick run down of my situation and see if I'm doing the right thing being here.


I'm in my 20s, and I use an electric wheelchair.
Unsurprisingly I want a relationship like everyone else, it just seems harder to attain for obvious reasons.


So I was wondering, would being in an electric wheelchair cause issues with finding someone in this manner? That's the starting question! Any advice?

I just sent Kaz an off-line --he may still be having too much fun in the Philippines to quickly reply, as he was (I assume still is) pretty happy with a gal for quite some time. Last time I heard, they had been seeing the sights together during extended (months) trips. Still, I wouldn't be surprised to hear back from the guy!

Wheelchair and all, he probably has gotten around to more places in the Philippines in less time than I have and not just metro areas--that says a lot. Besides Piglett's kind link contribution, I think he also had some other detailed reports posted and archived here.

[Kaz1983]

Let me know if you need any advice or have questions regarding anything.

I'm happy to help (I'm a C5 - C6 btw) and I suppose after living in the Philippines for 10 months over the last 2 years and traveling in Asia a few times now .... was in Hong Kong last year and Bali earlier this year......  well let's says you tend to learn quite quickly from your mistakes or lack of knowledge when you get yourself into "tricky" situations... I'm sure you know what I mean hahahaha 

[robert angel]

N.H.,

There you go! I think for some reason you have to make ten or so posts before you can send personal messages within Planet Love, so you might want to send some real short ones if you want to compare notes with Kaz via P.L.. He's back on the road again pretty soon with his lovely Filipina gal, and while the internet's pretty much everywhere, it might be easier to reach him before he goes on vacay. I see you're both UK guys.

Regards,

Robert

[new_here]

Hi!!


I have read through all the replies to Kaz's posts on here, and learnt A LOT in a short time!!!


I've got a pm from kaz but can't reply yet - time to post in some other sections to get me up to the 10 count!


But from what I've learnt, it seems like the Philippines is the right place to be looking, and renting a place might be better than a hotel.


I'll try and answer some questions now-

I'm sure that being in a chair will inevitably cause some issues to come up in your search. I guess it depends a lot on the extent of your disability. Are you able to take care of most of your personal needs, except for the mobility issue?

I can't take care of many of my personal needs, so I hire a P.A (carer). So it's more than just a mobilty issue

Can you also use a lightweight folding chair? I was thinking that might work a lot better over there.

Unfortunately not

Thanks again for the replies, I'm learning lots.

Are there any particular sites you guys would recommend in terms of meeting people? I've seen filipino cupid, but don't know if that would be a good one to start, or if in fact there are some free ones?

[robert angel]

Hi!!


I have read through all the replies to Kaz's posts on here, and learnt A LOT in a short time!!!


I've got a pm from kaz but can't reply yet - time to post in some other sections to get me up to the 10 count!


But from what I've learnt, it seems like the Philippines is the right place to be looking, and renting a place might be better than a hotel.


I'll try and answer some questions now-

I can't take care of many of my personal needs, so I hire a P.A (carer). So it's more than just a mobilty issue

Unfortunately not

Thanks again for the replies, I'm learning lots.

Are there any particular sites you guys would recommend in terms of meeting people? I've seen filipino cupid, but don't know if that would be a good one to start, or if in fact there are some free ones?

Sounds great--your off to a start for now. Besides Filipinacupid, free sites include date in asia , plenty of fish and melindas penpals. There are probably others, but those come to mind first.

Take your time--there is a 'learning curve' and there are plenty of scams and women who are opportunists, to put it nicely. Don't let looks out weigh character. Guys get taken advantage of all the time and your wheel chair situation adds an additional element to the situation.

A lot of Filipinas who marry and/or work overseas planning on sending much needed money back home--it's one of the largest sources of income for people in the Philippines. If she's a stay at home wife, she'll probably still want to help the folks back home out to some extent.

Separating material wants/needs, determining maternal (if you and her want kids or not) and the degree of hopefully true love that has a good chance of lasting-- those are the hard parts, to give you just a few things to consider.

That said, I don't think you could pick a nicer, kinder group of people overall than the Filipinos. You just have to find one that fits that description for you!

[new_here]

After reading lots here, I've definitely seen the 'don't let looks make you ignore warning signs'.
I would post here about how things are going and what people thought about how it was going anyway.


I'll hopefully be able to pm people soon!


Just another quick question, (Hope it's not too stupid)
I've flicked through a few profiles on filipinocupid, and I've seen a couple of profiles where the girls are in bikini tops - but after reading a few things here (regarding how women in the Philippines dress), I was kind of wondering is that a warning sign, or not too uncommon for Filipino women?

[new_here]

Also, I just wanted to say Kaz sent me a really great, helpful pm!
The whole community here seems fantastic and very welcoming

[robert angel]

Keep the little posts coming--even 5 'thanks again, guys' and you're able to PM!

It used to be uncommon to see Filipinas in swimsuits, especially bikinis, or with tattoos on-line. It's seen more now, but I think most women from there are still more modest--at least the ones I prefer. Just because she's modest in public has absolutely no relationship with how, shall we say 'affectionate'? she'll be in private with you.

Even when they go to the beach with family, the typical swim wear is longish shorts and a T shirt over a sturdy bra. My wife would kill her younger sisters if they wore bikinis and had pictures on line. Funny fact is that in a nation of over 7000 islands, most Filipinas don't know how to swim, but their brothers probably do. Same with driving a car.

Once again, that's changing a bit with the times, but I'd still be wary.

Especially be leery if she has several bikini shots wearing different swim suits and/or in several resorts, at fancy beaches, in hotel rooms, bars, clubs etc. There's a good chance some sugar daddy (maybe several over time) is paying her to 'tour him around'--which usually comes with physical benefits, if you know what I mean.

If a girls says she likes bars and pubs, I'd avoid her.

It also could mean she's worldly, a cosmopolitan woman of material means--far from the hard to define "Simple Traditional Filipina" we refer to and love---and a STF does NOT mean she's uneducated by any means. It typically means she's pretty common sensical, loyal to family and friends, tries not to gossip too much and worries about any possibility of giving her family or herself a 'bad reputation'. We've never had an issue of Cosmopolitan in our house, my wife has never even looked at an issue in the book store. She would probably make the women in that ragazine look super sorry--certainly make them look substandard as wife material--that magazine is very 'me centered'--she's definitely 'we centered'.

Chances are less that a financially well off, fashionista Filipina would want to marry some guy overseas, unless maybe he owned an NBA team, had penthouses in Hawaii, Miami and Macau, etc

It didn't do much for me, but a lot of guys here recommend for those relatively new to Filipino culture to go onto half.com, ebay or amazon and buy the book 'Philippines: Culture Shock'. Some of that book is outdated and causes my wife to wince, but there's still a lot of current info and I guess the old stuff has historical value and all that could help you when you get to chatting and going to web cam on-line.

Filipinos really like people who try and speak some of their language, people who know a bit about and respect their history and culture, but don't come off like 'know it alls'. I've been around Filipinos most of my life and I for sure am still learning things about them too! As they tend to see things and think differently than most westerners, they may be the most complicated simple people I know!

[new_here]

I had that gut feeling about it being a little unusual for filipinos - traditional at least.
Here might be a stupid question, but you did mention intimacy!
You said about being affectionate in private, are traditional Filipinos more or less affectionate than your average western girl, if there is such a thing

[robert angel]

In private probably more affectionate/intimate. In public it depends. On Valentine's Day--which is HUGE --almost as big as Birthdays there (don't forget that) you tend to see more hand holding and maybe some kissing-necking in the park, but in most places, most of the time, it's more reserved than in most western, certainly most urbanized western areas. Not much laying on top of each other or 'grinding'--even in the parks.

That's in very general terms, because the sex industry, bars and prostitution, and tolerance of gays for that matter, is pretty much more 'matter of fact' over there. And of course, everyone is an individual, even if there are general expectations of the society around them.

It depends on who you're with and in what part of town. A time and place for everything.

I remember seeing a lot of girls and women walking, holding hands and seeming unusually close to each other--at least from my viewpoint, but actually that's very innocent and common--sister like friendships typically. I just didn't realize it at first. Now it's becoming more common here too, I think.

I don't know how much about Filipinas having about the highest sex drive in the world is 'Sailor talk', and might be true or not (I haven't taken that wide a sampling  ) but I think the oft stated 'She may be an Angel in public and a devil in the bedroom' probably holds some truth to it with a lot of so called 'Simple, Traditional Filipinas'.

[new_here]

but I think the oft stated 'She may be an Angel in public and a devil in the bedroom' probably holds some truth to it with a lot of so called 'Simple, Traditional Filipinas'.

The best kind of woman in my opinion!
I'll be back on here over the weekend, and do some more posting and hopefully pming, thanks again guys, I'm off for the night now

[Kaz1983]

I think you will do fine really, just gotta find that one special girl and there are plenty in the Philippines.

Just gotta well find her and then your golden. As for cities over there you have Manila, Davao and Cebu -- the latter will take catching a connecting plane 1-3 hours,


EDIT: I forgot there are flights from Hong Kong to Davao, Hong Kong to Cebu --- pretty much everything goes thur Hong Kong, flight wise when traveling to the Philippines .. so any of those 3 cities aren't hard to access, I only really know Manila and not Davao/Cebu so can't comment on transport once you have landed but if it's anything like Manila you should be fine


.... as soon as you go outside those three cities transportation is completely different, as much as Dumaguete was nice the lack of any taxi's (by that I mean NONE!) meant no going out and enjoying myself like I was in Manila .... just imagine if your the girl and wasn't able to go out with her boyfriend cos he couldn't use jeepneys or tricycles? ..... that would suck,

"should I stay at home with him or go out leaving him here.."  ... she would probably be thinking

Meeting someone in a province you could do if you want just if your serious about going over to meet her and she were she lives ... well that will be difficult ... the city may be a turn off to some and the idea of a province girlfriend might be appealing but unless you have her fly into Manila say and meet there, it could get tricky. I'm sure you would like to see where she lives and meet her family, when it comes to going over and meeting the girl .............. but as others have said, culturally Filipina's are a good sort and make great partners.

[piglett]

I think you will do fine really, just gotta find that one special girl and there are plenty in the Philippines.

Just gotta well find her and then your golden. As for cities over there you have Manila, Davao and Cebu -- the latter will take catching a connecting plane 1-3 hours,


EDIT: I forgot there are flights from Hong Kong to Davao, Hong Kong to Cebu --- pretty much everything goes thur Hong Kong, flight wise when traveling to the Philippines .. so any of those 3 cities aren't hard to access, I only really know Manila and not Davao/Cebu so can't comment on transport once you have landed but if it's anything like Manila you should be fine


.... as soon as you go outside those three cities transportation is completely different, as much as Dumaguete was nice the lack of any taxi's (by that I mean NONE!) meant no going out and enjoying myself like I was in Manila .... just imagine if your the girl and wasn't able to go out with her boyfriend cos he couldn't use jeepneys or tricycles? ..... that would suck,

"should I stay at home with him or go out leaving him here.."  ... she would probably be thinking

Meeting someone in a province you could do if you want just if your serious about going over to meet her and she were she lives ... well that will be difficult ... the city may be a turn off to some and the idea of a province girlfriend might be appealing but unless you have her fly into Manila say and meet there, it could get tricky. I'm sure you would like to see where she lives and meet her family, when it comes to going over and meeting the girl .............. but as others have said, culturally Filipina's are a good sort and make great partners.

plenty of good province girls working in the city
my wife was working as a nurse in Manila & she is from way out in the sticks


Hey New-here how about a nurse
there are thousands of them to choose from




good luck
piglett

[Kaz1983]

ohh that goes without saying, I was more meaning province girls living in their province ..... at the end of the day it depends what you want, whether living over there longer term or not ---- a girlfriend or a wife, with goal of bring her back your country ...... what makes you happy

[piglett]

Hi!!


I have read through all the replies to Kaz's posts on here, and learnt A LOT in a short time!!!


I've got a pm from kaz but can't reply yet - time to post in some other sections to get me up to the 10 count!


But from what I've learnt, it seems like the Philippines is the right place to be looking, and renting a place might be better than a hotel.


I'll try and answer some questions now-

I can't take care of many of my personal needs, so I hire a P.A (carer). So it's more than just a mobilty issue

Unfortunately not

Thanks again for the replies, I'm learning lots.

Are there any particular sites you guys would recommend in terms of meeting people? I've seen filipino cupid, but don't know if that would be a good one to start, or if in fact there are some free ones?

not sure what your financial situation looks like but here is a thought
you could hire an older nurse to care for you on your 1st trip
hell just get on a plane & go get your feet wet if you have the coin
there are plenty of nurses in say Manila that work on a 5 month contract
after that they are back to looking for another job
you see in the PI (Philippines) a worker who has been with you for 6 months or more
has to be provided healthcare benefits so the 5 month employment contract was born


if i was in your shoes i think i would hire an older lady (40's & married)
to be my nurse
old nurses know plenty of younger nurses




good luck
piglett

[robert angel]

If you're going to travel, you might as well go all in and for at least part of the time, rent a van for your wheelchair. I have done that when going on long trips--out into uncertain parts of the countryside, etc. Not sure how much the wheelchair weighs, (probably plenty) or if they have (probably) vans set up with lifts, but something worth looking into. On negotiation of rates, as with just about everything, try and have a Filipina inquire, as if you do, they'll often give a foreigner rate.
It's easy to lose track of money, as things for the most part are a lot cheaper. I'm usually frugal, but it kinda becomes like monopoly money, 1000 peso notes and all.

 Even Pigglet, who like a good New Englander, throws nickels around like they're man hole covers,  has expressed the same about spending money over there. But I bet that pretty Asawa (spouse) of his has changed his spending habits a bit!