Anyone else have a Catholic Pinay???

[strato1053]

I have been talking to several Filipino women for the past 4-5 months  getting to know some of the girls.   Well  there is one I really REALLY like and I talk to her almost non-stop....   we just love talking,  never met, but  as soon as one of us wakes up we start text messages and don't stop until one of us needs to go to sleep.   sending flirtatious things such as  "muah muah muah"   

Well coming up is "Holy Week"  in the Catholic religion....  She is very devout to her faith, and even though I am no longer a true "practiciing catholic"   I was once so I know the faith extremely well.

I still get annoyed when I hear people cal themselves a Catholic when they haven't been to church in many years...  at some point you stop being a Catholic. 

Anyway, Catholics are supposed to make sacrifices during Lent  (the 40 days before Easter Sunday)  and  then a more intense sacrifice during holy week ( the 7 days before Easter Sunday)  Well the girl I like most who talks to me constantly, as in morning, noon, and night has decided that she is going to give up internet and telephone for holy week, breaking all communications with me until Easter Sunday a week later   


I admire her religious conviction but am pretty upset by this,  Normally Catholics give up red meat for lent, not communications with online friends.   

Any thoughts on this?

[robert angel]

I have been talking to several Filipino women for the past 4-5 months  getting to know some of the girls.   Well  there is one I really REALLY like and I talk to her almost non-stop....   we just love talking,  never met, but  as soon as one of us wakes up we start text messages and don't stop until one of us needs to go to sleep.   sending flirtatious things such as  "muah muah muah"   

Well coming up is "Holy Week"  in the Catholic religion....  She is very devout to her faith, and even though I am no longer a true "practiciing catholic"   I was once so I know the faith extremely well.

I still get annoyed when I hear people cal themselves a Catholic when they haven't been to church in many years...  at some point you stop being a Catholic. 

Anyway, Catholics are supposed to make sacrifices during Lent  (the 40 days before Easter Sunday)  and  then a more intense sacrifice during holy week ( the 7 days before Easter Sunday)  Well the girl I like most who talks to me constantly, as in morning, noon, and night has decided that she is going to give up internet and telephone for holy week, breaking all communications with me until Easter Sunday a week later   


I admire her religious conviction but am pretty upset by this,  Normally Catholics give up red meat for lent, not communications with online friends.   

Any thoughts on this?

You say you've been conversing w/ Filipinas for 4-5 months, but not how long you've been chatting this one you seem 'sweet on'?At any rate, it's not a great amount of time. She may be very sincere and honest. Catholics are supposed to give up something they like a great deal for lent.

 
Maybe she's being pressured to show the strength of her faith by herself or others. Do you know her routine--has she always been consistent? Worse case scenario is she could be taking a trip or having company she doesn't want you to know about---some people will take a real long time to set up scams. One very intelligent guy here got set up like a bowling pin by a lady boy. Not saying this is the case and you don't give a lot of detail, so assumptions from others should be viewed with caution, but keep your mind and eyes wide open. Do you know this girl's routine? Has she ever missed chats--texts? Have you spent a lot of time on cam? Usually if someone's playing you, there are at least subtle signs.

 
I've been married to two Catholic Filipinas for about twenty years (not at the same time--lol) and sometimes the way we see Catholics and Filipinas and being Catholic and church attendance are different than in the USA. Over there, church attendance is taken more seriously, as is being Catholic/Christian period. People from all walks of life there go to church regularily. I remember being approached by prostitutes,  declined their offer and the church bells rang and they went to mass instead.
 
There are a lot of Filipinas who most, including myself, would consider 'devout'--very sincere and strong in their faith, but may be quite sexually liberal. It seems like a contradiction, what with Catholic Guilt' and all, but that's just the way it is.

 
We've raised our kids in the church and attend semi regularily, but to us, going to church regularily no more makes you a good Catholic or Christian than does going into a garage makes you a car. My wife is usually the one to say 'let's go' and she prays her novena during the week.

 
I'd be disappointed in such behavior, but I wouldn't write her off unless I had more rationale to do so. It's quite feasible that she gave up internet for lent--even if for just a week.Some folks give something up for the entire 40 days, so it could be worse. Plenty give up TV and other things--it's not just chocolate anymore!

[InnocentVixen]

Worse case scenario is she could be taking a trip or having company she doesn't want you to know about

This was my first thought as well, I don't know about filipinas but I will tell you one thing as a woman, when someone has my attention, he has ALL of it and even if I have to work, travel or whatever I will find the way to stay in touch, even a few years ago when I was a bit more shy about being the one to make the first move online or on the phone, I would still eagerly answer fast and would try to be available somehow in case the guy decided to contact me.


Over here some girls actually like keeping some distance when the guys start looking very interested to get them to make a move, in a way so you either stop talking to her or go all for it... which sometimes results worse because guys down here like the hunt so it becomes a game, personally I am not interested in playing those kind of games and would guess a serious mature lady looking for marriage wouldn't be either.


About the religion, you got me on that one, I am not religious so I wouldn't know if it makes sense that she chose to give that up for a week or not. Over here is like you said, you give up red meat usually.

[thekfc]

Anyway, Catholics are supposed to make sacrifices during Lent  (the 40 days before Easter Sunday)  and  then a more intense sacrifice during holy week ( the 7 days before Easter Sunday)  Well the girl I like most who talks to me constantly, as in morning, noon, and night has decided that she is going to give up internet and telephone for holy week, breaking all communications with me until Easter Sunday a week late

I admire her religious conviction but am pretty upset by this,  Normally Catholics give up red meat for lent, not communications with online friends.   
 
 Any thoughts on this?
 

There is a difference in culture, a difference in what you are use to.

Let me add to what have already been said.
Like Robert previously said, Holy Week in the Philippines is nothing like holy week in the USA.

Throughout the Holy Week, most businesses in the Philippines will either shut down operations or have later opening and earlier closing times. Even public transportation is reduce during certain days of the week.

Aside from fasting, most Filipinos refrain from activities such as drinking alcohol, eating meat, etc,.

During the Easter Triduum, usually a public holiday, some television stations even interrupt broadcast altogether until Black Saturday in observance of this solemn occasion.
My sister-in-law owns a cafe and she said that they will have a modified schedule from Maundy Thursday to Easter Sunday. Some of the family members will be visiting/having a get together. 

Also each province/region have their own way of celebration holy week so depending on which region she is in, the festive may be minor or grand.

It's quite feasible that she gave up internet for lent--even if for just a week.Some folks give something up for the entire 40 days, so it could be worse. Plenty give up TV and other things--it's not just chocolate anymore!

Yep to the highlighted above.

Here are some readings & viewing:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HKlrv3s_rc&feature=youtu.be
 
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0w7hy5ENlIY&feature=youtu.be

http://english.ohmynews.com/articleview/article_view.asp?article_class=5&no=382155&rel_no=1

http://www.theweekendtraveller.com/2011/04/15/pains-and-colours-of-holy-week-in-the-philippines/

http://www.cebu-philippines.net/holy-week.html

[Jeff S]

Geez - and I thought giving up skittles was a sacrifice.

[thekfc]

Geez - and I thought giving up skittles was a sacrifice.

Well it depends on what flavor. 

[robert angel]

Don't nobody mess with my "Juicy Reds' Starbursts! 
 
I went to a multicultural event that among other 'foods', had various candy from Brazil--the likes of I had never seen or heard of and they make some fine candy there too--especially filled chocolates! Isn't chocolate one of the major food groups??  Notice--NO teeth---> 
 
My Mom has a sign on the refrigerator that says "Life's uncertain--eat dessert FIRST!" Now WHY didn't she have that sign when we were kids???

[Ray]

I have been talking to several Filipino women for the past 4-5 months getting to know some of the girls. Well there is one I really REALLY like and I talk to her almost non-stop.... we just love talking, never met, but as soon as one of us wakes up we start text messages and don't stop until one of us needs to go to sleep. sending flirtatious things such as "muah muah muah"

Well coming up is "Holy Week" in the Catholic religion.... She is very devout to her faith, and even though I am no longer a true "practiciing catholic" I was once so I know the faith extremely well.

I still get annoyed when I hear people cal themselves a Catholic when they haven't been to church in many years... at some point you stop being a Catholic.

Anyway, Catholics are supposed to make sacrifices during Lent (the 40 days before Easter Sunday) and then a more intense sacrifice during holy week ( the 7 days before Easter Sunday) Well the girl I like most who talks to me constantly, as in morning, noon, and night has decided that she is going to give up internet and telephone for holy week, breaking all communications with me until Easter Sunday a week later


I admire her religious conviction but am pretty upset by this, Normally Catholics give up red meat for lent, not communications with online friends.

Any thoughts on this?

　
Hi strato. Welcome to the forum.
　
OK, let me be blunt if I may.
　
I think you are being extremely selfish and demanding of this young lady whom you have never met and maybe have no intention of ever meeting. Until you have at least met in person, this is not any sort of committed relationship and is really nothing more at this point than a nice fantasy that you have been caught up in.
　
Under the circumstances, I would say that she owes you nothing. She obviously has a life and you said yourself that you admire her religious devotion, so why are you so upset over her taking a week to practice her faith in the manner in which she is accustomed to.
　
Are you going to get sick and die if you have to go a whole 7 days without the silly "muah muah muah" text messages day and night? I don’t think so.
　
There is nothing sinister going on here. She only wants to devote a little time to practice her faith and can’t do so if she has to be available to satisfy your needs all day from the time she awakes until the time she finally has to sleep. For God’s sake man, give the girl a break, relax, and find something else to occupy your time for a lousy week.
　
　

 
　
Ray

[strato1053]

hi folks...


 Thank you all for taking the time to read my post and offer your input.


I have started talking to this particular gal about 3 months ago,  but didn't start talking to her everyday until about 2 months ago.  I am fairly certain she is not trying to con me as she has never asked me for anything.  She is working in Hong Kong as a nanny and seems to make a decent amount of money and she is actively working on a work visa to get a job as a nanny in Canada or the United States.  I could be wrong but so far no red flags about her intentions have popped up.


So far the only thing she has even hinted that she wants from me is for me to visit her.  I would not be opposed to traveling to Hong Kong to meet her but her work schedule would only allow her to spend Sunday with me.   I certainly don't want to take an 18 hour flight (each way)  and spend several thousand dollars to see her only on a sunday. So we'll have to wait until she either moves to canada or gets some vacation time.


And Ray...   My reason for seeking this forum's advice was simple,  I did not know what was going on,  I had the same thoughts Vixen had about maybe she was playing games with me or something.   I was simply disappointed,  I wasn't angry or upset with her about it.   And since I was raised in a highly catholic environment and had never heard of this type of thing being done it had me asking myself some questions. 

[Ray]

strato,
  
 
I am a Catholic and attended Catholic schools while I was growing up. My wife is also Catholic and around 85% of Filipinos call themselves Catholics.
　
When I first went to the Philippines, I also was very surprised at the degree of religious fervor and the very different manner in which religious holidays were celebrated over there compared to what we did here. These are two completely different worlds when it comes to religious customs and practices.
　
Christmas is huge over there and starts in September, running until the Three Kings feast in January. One popular Christmas custom over there is the novena known as Simbang Gabi. For nine days before Christmas, thousands of Filipinos flock to the churches at 4 a.m. for mass with much singing and celebration.
　
For Holy Week, some Filipinos flock to the beaches for vacations because they get time off from work while many others observe the solemn holy days in church gatherings, prayer, and self sacrifice. Remember attending Stations of the Cross in church on Good Friday? Well, Filipinos do it a little differently.
　
Dozens of Filipinos, even young ladies, have themselves actually nailed to the cross and crucified on Good Friday in one province, even though the Church disapproves. You can see many public processions on Good Friday with a voluntary Jesus carrying a cross down the street with hundreds of devout worshipers following behind, praying the rosary. I actually witnessed a traffic jam at an intersection where two crucifixion processions met at a crossroads, both headed for the same hill to reenact the crucifixion. After some minutes of arguing between the two groups, someone flipped a coin to see which Jesus had the right-of-way. Some Filipinos think it is a sin to travel on Good Friday and will go out of their way to use any form of transportation on that day.
　
On Easter Sunday, they have a popular religious celebration called Salubong. The people gather outside of the church at around 5:00-5:30 in the morning for a candlelight procession. Young girls and boys are dressed all up as angels with halos and wings. While praying out loud, the female participants take one route and the males another, eventually meeting at the front of the church to reenact the Easter morning meeting between the risen Christ and his mother, Mary.
　
On the holy days of All Saints and All Souls, millions of Filipinos visit the cemeteries, many staying there overnight, celebrating, praying, and partying with their deceased relatives. There is music, food, dancing, singing…you name it.
　
The Philippines is a predominately Catholic country and unlike here, religion is deeply entwined in daily life. Unlike here, where public displays of religion are often forbidden by law, it is nothing unusual to witness very public displays of the Catholic faith. I was surprised the first time I traveled by inter-island ferry when, as the ship departed the pier, a priest came over the public address system to offer a prayer for safe travel. Another prayer was recited over the address system in the evening before the lights were dimmed and folks turned in for the night.
　
My point is that you apparently know little about religious customs and local practices in the Philippines. From what you stated about the young lady in your post, I see nothing unusual in her desire to take a break form the non-stop communication for the duration of Holy Week, being that you said she was very devout in her faith.
　
Since you have an interest in some Filipina ladies, why don’t you spend a little time next week investigating religious practices and customs in Filipino culture? Use the break in the constant communication as an opportunity to learn something. There is a wealth of info out there on the Web.
　
Ray
　

[Jhengsman]

No like button for Ray! oh well anyway you can look at their telenovellas, talk shows and newscast and  in the end credits they give glory to God, like Grammy awards winner do. I guess you already know about the scripture which is written all over jeepneys and many public buildings

[Ray]

 
So stratto,
 
Now that Holy Week is over, I was curious how the week without texting worked out.
 
Any updates?
 
 
Ray
 
 

[Dave H]

strato,
  
 
I am a Catholic and attended Catholic schools while I was growing up. My wife is also Catholic and around 85% of Filipinos call themselves Catholics.
　
When I first went to the Philippines, I also was very surprised at the degree of religious fervor and the very different manner in which religious holidays were celebrated over there compared to what we did here. These are two completely different worlds when it comes to religious customs and practices.
　

Ray
　

Hey Ray,


True, this is not America...I even forget sometimes that Filipinos grew up in an entirely different culture and environment than me. I haven't seen too many American Catholics getting nailed to a cross during Holy Week.


I decided to forgo crucifixion and self-flagellation this year and instead gave up
M & M's, switching to Nips.


Dave

[dewey4350]

OMG, letting the newbee get a little grilled here? LOL I am under the understanding that even House Keepers get some time off. I am sure you could coordinate some time alone together. I think maybe you should do it in the Phillipines. Look around some feel the culture she what she grew up in. Scams - let me tell you they are quite good at it. If you only knew how patient they are at it too! Just don't jump before you know where your gonna land. Ray is coarse but very accurate, your skin should be a little thicker. Even I am curious if your lady is texting you back again. Robert I actually gave up dried mangos during holy week. KFC that is good looking boy you have there. Let us now inquiring minds are curious LOL next we will turn him over to the pig for some romance advice. Maybe even have his house blessed....Welcome newbee

[robert angel]

I don't know if stratos will be coming back here, for various reasons---so we may never know 'the rest of the story'

[Ray]

I don't know if stratos will be coming back here, for various reasons---so we may never know 'the rest of the story'

 
Which reasons are those?
 
 
Ray
 
 

[Dave H]

I think that our housekeeper gave up "work" for Holy Week! 


On a more serious note, when it comes to hired help, it is my opinion you are best to do as much yourself as possible when living in the Philippines. They often create more problems (you can't even imagine) than they solve! When we need something specific done and don't want to do it ourselves, we hire a person/s for that particular job, avoiding a lot of headaches!


Did anyone's Filipina give up dried fish for Holy Week? Now that would be the ultimate sacrifice!!!


Dave

[Ray]

I think that our housekeeper gave up "work" for Holy Week! 


On a more serious note, when it comes to hired help, it is my opinion you are best to do as much yourself as possible when living in the Philippines. They often create more problems (you can't even imagine) than they solve! When we need something specific done and don't want to do it ourselves, we hire a person/s for that particular job, avoiding a lot of headaches!


Did anyone's Filipina give up dried fish for Holy Week? Now that would be the ultimate sacrifice!!!


Dave

I agree about the live-in maids. We had one (17-years-old) back in the day when I was living in Olongapo and it was a constant PITA. And she ate like a water buffalo!
 
 
I don't think giving up dried fish for Holy Week would be wise Dave. Mackerel Snappers need fish for Good Friday.
 
Besides, giving up rice would be the ultimate sacrifice for a Filipino. Most probably couldn't survive for a week...   
 
 
Ray
 
 
 
 

[Jhengsman]

When we first got married she would apologize for not having rice cooked for breakfast

[strato1053]

Hey folks...


      Sorry I haven't been back in a while... had some personal things come up.


Anyway...  I will answer the question that you guys are asking now,   yes we are texting again, so you all were correct and it was just a a religious conviction.   as soon as the holy week ended she messaged me and things picked back up just the same as before, so all is good with her and I now. 


And I am not exactly "thin skinned" I suppose my real concern was that she had met another guy or for whatever other reason wanted to get rid of me and didn't have the courage to just say so.   I'm an intelligent person and I know she is more than entitled to this, however I at least wanted to know the truth.    My background with women is extremely terrible and it has left me a bit paranoid and distrusting.  I know this is my problem and not hers and I'm working on that but it is what it is.   




Anyhow... I wanted to ask you all another question,   Her birthday is coming up in a few weeks and was wanting to ask you all for some gift ideas.    She's going to be 28,  and she doesn't drink alcohol, or wear jewelry, or eat candy.   And I sent her a stuffed animal on Valentine's day....     so all my "usual"  lady gifts are off the list.   So what do you all suggest?


thanks guys!
Strato1053

[Jeff S]

I don't know any women who doesn't like clothes/shoes, but do know a lot of women who don't care for their boyfriend/husband's taste in clothes.

[thekfc]

Clothing/shoes would be great but I would stay away from them until you meet in person or know/have a knowledge of her sizing - getting it right could be a little tricky (sizing between the brands may be different). But if you were to send clothing I would recommend tops from either AE, Hollister, Aeropostale or VS - you cannot go wrong by getting any of those brands.

At this stage I would suggest some lotion/fragrance, preferably Victoria's Secret - do a combination of lotion, mist, edt but skip the scrubs & body butter for now.

Also stay away from the fruity scents like Pear Glace, Coconut Passion, Mango Temptation. They do smell good but they attract insects.

Edit: Forgot that the OP chat mate is currently in HK.

[Capstone]

My only suggestion on the gift is to keep it fairly inexpensive at this point since you have not actually met her yet. On that note my advice is to get yourself on a plane to Hong Kong and pay her a visit. Even if she isn't able to spend that much time with you - a little time in Hong Kong never hurt anyone!! How long has she been working in HK? She should get 7 days of vacation after 12 months of service.

[Ray]

My only suggestion on the gift is to keep it fairly inexpensive at this point since you have not actually met her yet. On that note my advice is to get yourself on a plane to Hong Kong and pay her a visit. Even if she isn't able to spend that much time with you - a little time in Hong Kong never hurt anyone!! How long has she been working in HK? She should get 7 days of vacation after 12 months of service.

　
That’s a nice thought Cap on the visit, but it may be difficult to spend time with her.
　
If things work pretty much the same as they did a few years back, then those Filipina domestic workers in Hong Kong are under a contract that means their time pretty much belongs to their employer, 24 hrs/day, 6 days a week, with Sundays as free time.
　
Whether she can get any time off during the week really depends on her employer and how strict he/she is. I would definitely rule out any kind of surprise visit under those conditions.
　
In the past, the domestic workers would get 2 weeks off per year, with paid transportation home, under the terms of their contracts. Most of the ladies would try to travel home around Christmas time for their annual vacation. Usually, the best time to visit these ladies and spend some time with them is during their vacation time in the Philippines.
　
I agree that he should keep the birthday gift simple and relatively inexpensive. It’s really the thought that scores points, not the value of the gift.
　
I would check online for flower deliveries in Hong Kong, and send red roses for home delivery on her birthday (if it’s not Sunday). That keeps it simple but still romantic. If she’s allergic to flowers, then consider a small cake.

And definitely snail-mail her a nice birthday card!
 

Strato: I’m happy to hear that she is back in communication with you again…
　
Ray
　

[strato1053]

Thanks guys for the suggestions. 


        I would love to send her a cake but she doesn't eat sweets,  said that wrong when I said she doesn't eat candy, she doesn't eat any sweets is what I meant.   I definitely want to make it a simple gift for the reasons you all stated, we never met.
 
        And I would love to go visit her in Hong Kong but Ray is correct.  Monday thru Saturday she is owned by her employers who are real jerks from what I understand.  They won't let her watch TV, use her phone, computer or even read a book during the week.  She just texts me against their rules while they are gone to work.  And even though her contract says she is to be off work on Sunday they still make her work until 10am  and then say she has to be back by 8pm to clean up the house before bedtime.   So they give her exactly 10 hours off each week.  She is actively trying for a work visa in the west which is why she puts up with it, but that's taking some time.  Feel bad for her...  been like this for 3 years now.    So  I figure I should wait until she has some vacation time to go see her...   don't want to spend $3000 on a plane ticket and travel 18 hours across the pacific to spend 10 hours with her. 


At any rate I consider all your suggestions and let you guys know what I decided to send her.