My 2nd trip report from Colombia, good times!

[Colgando]

What up people, this is Colgando! Just got back from my 2nd trip to BAQ, went to see Jamie again, spent 9 days SOTB this go around. I had a good time again, an even better time than the 1^st trip.
The experience was pretty much the same as far as the process goes at Jamie’s place. I ate at more economical places this time around, a lot of empanadas and arepas and those stuffed potatoes, I forgot what they are called. Found a real good spot to get a quarter piece of chicken, rice and beans, boiled plantain and soup for 5,000 COP, and it was really, really good. I did not have the same high that I had the 1^st trip, I was pretty much emotionally stable the whole trip, kind of battle tested at this point with the speed dating agency thing with beautiful women, not nervous or anxious at all really, didn’t make mistakes, well Jamie may disagree with one girl, but I disagreed with Jamie in that situation, but I understood what he meant, he turned out to be right about her in the end, but I still disagreed with his reasoning in this one situation, but he is pretty much on point for everything else. Met a bunch of beautiful women again, more beautiful than last time, I was more attracted to this group of women than the ones from my prior trip, which had me feeling good.
I ended up with 2 women I was interested in by the last couple of days of the trip, there were a bunch of women that were ok, just didn’t have me motivated to pursue them, except these 2, one of which Jamie said was a waste of time, which he was right, but for the wrong reasons though IMO, he did not have all the facts and the experience I had. I spent the last day with the only woman that kept my interest and attention, she is also interested, she accompanied me to the airport. Out of both trips to Jamie's place, I am the most compatible with her, at this point, we are good friends that have a romantic interest in each other and we are going from there, we saw each other 7 times and started to get to know each other. We are going to keep in touch and the plan is for me to go and see her this October during her vacation if the next 2 months go well with our communication, I hope it does, I would like to go spend more time with her. I sent her an email today when I got back and she already responded with a sweet email and more pictures of her with different hairstyles and looks, that is a good sign.
In any event, I am spent on the agency scene for a while now. If I do not go see her in BAQ in October, I am going to go to Africa for a couple of weeks in Nov or Dec with the rest of my vacation time and money, then back to the drawing board for 2012.
Hope everyone is doing well, talk to you’ll later, peace.   

[fathertime]

Hey Colgado!


To me this sounded like a good trip, thanks for the report!  Finding a prospect  and then communicating is a reasonable course to take.  October is not too long off, so lets see if you can keep the relationship alive with this gal!  Sometimes the communications die, other times they live, just depends on the individuals and how motivated the individuals remain over time.   


Fathertime!

[ArtVandelay]

Glad to hear you had a good trip and came away with a positive experience. I hope it works out for you and Good Luck.

[robert angel]

Hey Colgando.
 
Welcome back! Sounds like a nice trip and a nice report---hope you can elaborate on it some more later. I'm sure you had things waiting to get done when you got home---probably still catching up on the home front.



It's great that you were able to disagree with some of Jamie's advice---opinion and to look at it from some different angles and be man enough to admit that aside from what it seems to labled as 'different reasoning viewpoints' that guided each of your opinions, that you can concede that in at least some respects, the guy was right.Some people don't seem capable of admitting that perhaps they were wrong and that the other person was right, after all.



You haven't probably had a lot of time to go back and read posts from the last week or so on here, but the way you seemed to handle things with an open mind, ready to listen to others opinions and concede that what you thought they might not be right about , that as it turned out they were right and at still yet, the end you signed off with sign: the word-- 'peace' that is refreshing Indeed.


 
What I am saying is that it takes a sound mind and bigger balls to admit when your wrong--or if it was appropriate, to apologize when necessary, or to not write as if you exist on some superior plane in life, as a psychological judge of others and their behaviors, where you can routinely judge them while putting off self righteous airs, as if you're infallible. Typically, the people who try to repeatedly write and depict themselves in that way, couldn't be farther from actually being that kind of person and have the smallest balls and most misguided minds of all.



You may or have noticed, but it's, gotten a bit nasty in here lately, with those who are well know here for repetitively making pointless, negative criticisms against their old enemies, continuing to do so, even finding time on new members make enemies with, while even making enemies amongst people who've been here white a while. Yea--Denis and Zon, not choir boys by a long shot, have for quite some time been attacked and have replied----nothing new there. But the net of nastiness has gotten quite a bit wider and unchecked. When it got personal about my life, I regretfully got down and dirty with them, trying to be as tactful and polite as I could, citing facts as possible, without the inane name calling. It was to no avail, and I let myself get sucked into that sewer, descending to that level, as I felt the attacks were getting below MY belt--personal. As a child, I remember a sign at the Bronx Zoo, saying 'don't feed the monkeys'. If only I knew how broadly that advice should be applied if you want the monkeys to to stop engaging in untoward behavior. Stop feeding them and they'll hopefully take care of their own in a better way and not be pushy, ugly and self centered and not remain fixated on attacking, instead of more intelligently handling the situation.



Hopefully the nastiness --it started in the Medellin vs Cali-the chick scene' thread and therein veered sharply off thread, staying there until basically put into the 'Flame Room" (renamed  'in honor' of the instigator) and for quite a while, stayed  there, remaining just as nasty until for some curious reason, it sharply veered off thread again, instead of just dying from its malignant nature. So it has has subsided somewhat ,but as long as certain posters here remain, their all too predictable , all too typically useless, nasty, negative  and pointless (except if taking pointless cheap shots at what they think other posters 'perceived' socio economic status is, as they use their imagination in falsely disrespecting families, including the children and their extended families serves any 'point'), it will continue.
 

 
We're not talking about healthy debate over differences of opinion or exercising civil freedom of speech, here--hey, that's a BIG part of what this place is about--but those same inalienable rights are not excuses that should be used to try to justify malicious posts and then act indignant when others are offended by said posts. We're talking about conduct that borders more along the lines of lies, half truths, slander and libel, than we are about than useful discourse and freedom of speech.


 
So did you pretty much stay in BAQ. or did you travel to more than one large city? Pick up on much different cultural difference this time compared to the last trip? Do you still feel that if (when)you go back that if for some reason the lady you saw seven times and you don't work out for whetever reason, that you'd go back with an agency? What you said about your experience with Jamie's agency sounded impressive to me--that's just my opinion. Neither of you seem like shrinking lilies, and despite having some difference in opinion, it sounds like you bothhandled like mature, objective men.



Sounds like you've got your head together pretty good--with your not trying to meet a woman you may have chatted a bit with or even just reviewed her profile on and like some bird dog, being overly fixated and sure that THAT the bird in the bush is 'the one'. Seems like too many guys chat some lady on line, fly down there, spend maybe 10 days down or a couple weeks there and ask her to to marry him.


In almost any sort of search or hunt, it is the person with the cooler head, who the one who thinks and exercises patience, listens to others with out wholly dismissing or disrespecting them if he disagrees---it is HE who typically makes the best shot and gets the best results.  Sounds to me, like you're on the right trail!

[jb]

Colgando,

congrats on your 2nd trip, and thanks for sharing your experiences.

[Colgando]

Thanks for all the kind words fellas.


Yeah FT, let's see how the communications go, I have a good feeling in my gut about this woman. Nothing but green flags and compatibility at this point, with the exception of her being late for every single date, man, she felt really bad about it though, but she was just always late, she kept taking the bus and would refuse to let me pay for the taxi fare, until the last night we went out and I was more forceful in paying the fare, but she was still late, go figure, not a deal breaker at this point, I didn't make a big deal out of it at this time, but something to keep in mind as a growth opportunity.


Hey Robert, thanks for the post, I hate name calling and tearing people down, I only desire to build people up, sure, I have a moral and ethical objection to Zon and I would gladly tear down his profession, but not the man, I would like to see Zon turn away from that profession. I could talk with you Robert, you seem very level headed with a big heart. Thanks for your kind words, I will catch up on the posts here soon, I will be a little more busy right now. Rather than write a long post, I would be happy to elaborate on anything people are interested in knowing more about.


I stayed in BAQ the whole time, I wanted to go to Santa Marta, but I did not have a chance. Yes, I picked up on some rudeness this time around in the society, just different ideas of personal space and courtesy, you know us Americans, we like our personal space. You know Robert, I think I would use an agency again, I am tempted to try online dating as well, but I just cannot get motivated to do it after my agency experience, I could see myself wasting a lot of time with women online chatting to them, then go and meet some and find out it is a waste of time, that is tough for me.


Me and Jamie get along great, I spent a lot of time talking to him this trip, we talked about his business, different ideas and challenges he has, we talked about american politics, casey anthony of course, colombian culture, he has a new baby girl, I held his baby, we get along well. I can appreciate his style, he takes a lot pride in his business, doing right by the men and women and keeping the paying customer satisfied. He is a straight shooter. I did not back down with the one girl, he would just shake his head and keep working. He tends to be a black and white thinker, I can be black and white, but I play in the grey space as well. I would def recommend him to anyone interested in a reputable agency.


Let me know if anyone is interested in me elaborating on anything?


Colgando

[fathertime]

Well Colgado, you will have a lot of work ahead of you, but it usually fun work.  You’ve got a lot of time before Oct. so definitely use it!  You can talk about goals, timelines, kids, careers, and you can do it extensively, along with less serious topics.  Then come October, if you are still together you may be at another level of commitment. 


It is very odd for robertangel to write a book about flames he participated in, on this pleasant thread, when there is a place called the flame room where he could make his thoughts known.


Fathertime! 

[Micky]

Col -

 
Welcome back.  Was the "less excitement"  factor due to this being your second trip,  or other reasons?  I think that it is a VERY good thing that your girl did not want spend YOUR money on a taxi when the much cheaper bus will get the job done.  Being late is a Colombian birthright,  I do not see it as a factor,  but that's me.  I think all cultures where being on time is not viewed as all that important,  all adjust to the "gringo way" once they live in that culture.  Best to you and your lady.
 

Micky

[Colgando]

Col -

 
Welcome back.  Was the "less excitement"  factor due to this being your second trip,  or other reasons?  I think that it is a VERY good thing that your girl did not want spend YOUR money on a taxi when the much cheaper bus will get the job done.  Being late is a Colombian birthright,  I do not see it as a factor,  but that's me.  I think all cultures where being on time is not viewed as all that important,  all adjust to the "gringo way" once they live in that culture.  Best to you and your lady.
 

Micky

Thanks Mickey, I do think it was because of the 2nd trip, I was much more sober this time around, and understood clearly that I would need to sift through a bunch of coals to find a gem. When I liked a girl, it was always in the back of mind that she could bail at anytime. Now, me even keeled is still pretty excited, just not falling in love with every pretty face and body, that is all and if I did, I fell out of the infatuation after a few minutes, crazy, beautiful Colombian women are my new normal after meeting over 50 of them on the 2 trips.


Yes, this lady is very, very careful in spending my money and her money, she hates waste, which I really liked, she is very humble too, she has a lot of respect for herself and she has pride in her city and country. She told us she did not want to spend the money on the taxi when the bus would do just fine and save a lot of money.


Colgando

[Tiburon]

Hey Colgando:  Good report. I used to post here as CalifSur.  Good for you in getting back down to Barranqilla so quickly.  Sounds like a nice girl you met.  Santa Marta would be a nice place to take your girl in October (assuming you decide to make a return visit for her).
 
 

[Researcher]

   Nice report Colgando.It sounds like you are getting into the swing of things pretty fast.Sounds like you are enjoying yourself and in no big hurry to hook up and get serious with a woman.

  Good luck in your travels and I hope we get more trip reports.

      Researcher

[benjio]

Colgando,

Excellent report and I'm proud of you for taking the slow path to destiny instead of the highway to hell. I made the HUGE mistake of returning from Jamie's after my first trip head over hills in love with my ex. In actually I'd recommend anyone that uses his agency come back with 2 or 3 strong candidates and see how they act when you return home. Things can cool off pretty quick when the reality of the distance smacks the girl in the face. The girl you're communicating with sounds like a winner so far. Best of luck to you. If you go back to Jamie's later on this year hopefully I'll run into you. Cheers.

[fathertime]

Colgando,

Excellent report and I'm proud of you for taking the slow path to destiny instead of the highway to hell. I made the HUGE mistake of returning from Jamie's after my first trip head over hills in love with my ex.

Well Benjio, sometimes these things do happen.  How long did it take for you to realize that your choice was not the correct one?  I made a couple errors along the way but it didn't take very long to discover what was up.  It is very hard to not give a cute gal the chance to foul it up, if you know what I mean! 


Fathertime! 

[benjio]

Well Benjio, sometimes these things do happen.  How long did it take for you to realize that your choice was not the correct one?  I made a couple errors along the way but it didn't take very long to discover what was up.  It is very hard to not give a cute gal the chance to foul it up, if you know what I mean! 


Fathertime!

My ex-novia and I were together from August of 2008 until January of this year. She was not at all a bad woman. She was very faithful, honest, and devoted to the relationship. However, she was one of those girls that Bamaboy was talking about in another post. She was convinced she could make a better life for herself in Colombia as suppose to what she could do here in the states. She had this unshakable desire to become an important, professional, career woman in Barranquilla. No matter how many people told her that her intelligence and work ethic would take her a lot farther here in the states, she had all these unrealistic plans of single-handedly carrying her entire family out of the cycle of poverty. I will admit, I always respected how motivated she was, but I hated the fact she stubbornly would not accept that there are really no job opportunities in Barranquilla. When I realized I couldn't find a job there to be with her, I gave her an ultimatum and she chose to stay in Colombia. It was all downhill from there and we called it quits earlier this year. I think I was more than patient visiting her 12 times in a little over two years we were together.

We had fun, but the only regret I have is there were a few more gorgeous, marriage minded women the first time I went to Jamie's that were interested in me and I didn't continue communicating with them. I simply fell for my ex so fast, I refused to keep dating other girls. Jamie repeatedly told me that I should take my time but I did not listen. When I broke up with my ex, I contacted Jamie to see if he could get in touch with a couple of the girls from two years ago. One had gotten married and he couldn't get in touch with the other. Oh well, you live and you learn.

[Researcher]

     Hey Benjio, that kind of thing happens to alot of us guys.You are right, live and learn then move on.Thanks for telling your story.Sometimes things just don't work out.

      Researcher

[robert angel]

Re:


>>Yes, this lady is very, very careful in spending my money and her money, she hates waste, which I really liked, she is very humble too, she has a lot of respect for herself and she has pride in her city and country. She told us she did not want to spend the money on the taxi when the bus would do just fine and save a lot of money<<

 
 
That's great stuff. Some people have pretty tough lives all the way around and just can't seem to get a 'leg up' where they live. Sound like Colombia's that way for women. It's as least as hard for women in the Philippines. If you're not in a good job by age 25, you can almost forget about it and if you're not married, you have a double bogey against you, as people just think (usually w/o saying to your face) that there must be something very wrong with you.

 
I have seen women in such scenarios who didn't let the 'system' break down' their inner core of self esteem, but it's not the norm to find that when they've faced rejection time after time, year after year.

 
Its so much better when you can find a woman like the one Colgando seems to be taking a fancy to. My wife has a lot of pride in a quiet, humble way. She fully realizes the (to us) unbelievable corruption endemic there, the inequities women face--how so very few have almost all the money and control political and economic power.

 
YET--to paraphrase and old (still making music though) country star, Merle Haggard, who wrote and sang when our nation was divided and we needed it--
 

When they're runnin' down my country, man,
They're walkin' on the fightin' side of me'

 
Ray's probably the only dude here who remembers that one, but anyway--it's nice to see someone like their country (and spouse) for better or worse, richer or poorer--To not change their stripes.

 
My wife's back home right now and although she's got pretty nice amount of cash, she's in the city, not at home for a couple days and instead of staying in some fancy hotel, she's in a boarding house--no TV. no internet, etc. Probably no air con. even --but hey--she's not one to complain. She's going to pay her sisters' nursing school tuition at her --at what is also my wife's former, excellent university, probably pick her up a couple new uniforms, some new white shoes and I hope, give her a few bucks for the rare pleasure of a movie and a meal at a real 'sit down' restaurant. I told her to tell her: "Kuya Robert will be upset if you use the money for ANYthing else--lol. She'd buy her Mother a kilo of fresh tuna--maybe a new rosary, before she'd spend $2 to see a movie, even though she hasn't been in a real movie theater in years--since I was there last..
 

So as I ramble on, I think the same kind of qualities I've seen are likely within the character of the woman Colgando describes and this is good. I learn a lot about people's character and attitude not just by them, but how they treat and speak of their family and friends--'the company they keep'. Sometimes, you can judge by the things they DON'T say. People who slag their own family, deservedly or not, time and time again, often have problems that go along with that. I'm no saint--I used to lowball my own family to school day chums, but at least the bad words were in Italian and they didn't know what I was really saying.

 
No, my wife's country is far, far from perfect and her family isn't perfect either, but if I ever hit It big on a scratch off lottery ticket, after I change my underwear, the next thing I'd do is call my wife and finally tell her, "Go ahead and look at those houses you've seen back home and still dream about--and make sure they add some room, so the family can come visit ."(sometimes) and "Oh--and please--don't choose the pink one".She'd probably need to change her grundy's too and would be, ecstatic, crying a river of tears-finally heading home, with our own home where her heart is,  in real comfort and with plenty to share.
 
A gal who wants to leave her nation isn't a bad sign in and of itself, but if she despises the environment that she was 'created' in, chances are there are other issues you'll uncover later on.

[benjio]

Mmmmmmmmm....Robert, you're making me want to start exploring the Phillipines again.

[fathertime]

My ex-novia and I were together from August of 2008 until January of this year. She was not at all a bad woman. She was very faithful, honest, and devoted to the relationship. However, she was one of those girls that Bamaboy was talking about in another post. She was convinced she could make a better life for herself in Colombia as suppose to what she could do here in the states. She had this unshakable desire to become an important, professional, career woman in Barranquilla. No matter how many people told her that her intelligence and work ethic would take her a lot farther here in the states, she had all these unrealistic plans of single-handedly carrying her entire family out of the cycle of poverty. I will admit, I always respected how motivated she was, but I hated the fact she stubbornly would not accept that there are really no job opportunities in Barranquilla. When I realized I couldn't find a job there to be with her, I gave her an ultimatum and she chose to stay in Colombia. It was all downhill from there and we called it quits earlier this year. I think I was more than patient visiting her 12 times in a little over two years we were together.

We had fun, but the only regret I have is there were a few more gorgeous, marriage minded women the first time I went to Jamie's that were interested in me and I didn't continue communicating with them. I simply fell for my ex so fast, I refused to keep dating other girls. Jamie repeatedly told me that I should take my time but I did not listen. When I broke up with my ex, I contacted Jamie to see if he could get in touch with a couple of the girls from two years ago. One had gotten married and he couldn't get in touch with the other. Oh well, you live and you learn.

Wow Benjio 12 trips, that is a lot! It is a good thing you are so young because that is quite a bit of time too!  Hopefully all the learning you did, in those few years will serve you will with the next lady that becomes your woman. 


Those cute ladies that were on the Jamie's website in 2008 might be gone, but there is always a fresh crop to choose from, especially at your age, pretty much all the ladies are still on the table. 


I liked to move fast on these ladies, keep em under some pressure.  My wife is probably sometimes thinks 'how the hell did my bloated but loving husband suck me into his whirlwind and fool me like that', but she seems pretty ok with me now and I think that is often how it goes!  I have always felt that when people are given too much time to think their relationship, they overthink and foul up a potentially real good thing!
Maybe it is because i'm a little older than you, but I didn't want to use much time on a lady unless I was fairly certain she was coming back with me at some point very soon.   When caution is at the expense of time, we all got to find the balance that works for each of us.  Do you think you would go 10-12 trips to Colombia/PI before making the marital move this time around?


Fathertime!

[benjio]

Do you think you would go 10-12 trips to Colombia/PI before making the marital move this time around?

If I end up marrying a Colombian girl I have absolutely no intentions of bringing her back to the states other than to visit and meet my family. The only reason I started the fiance visa with my ex was because I wanted to be with her and her coming here was the only way I could financially support the both of us. She initially agreed to come to the U.S., but then she won some beauty pageant during Carnaval and got a full scholarship to one of the better universities in Barranquilla. That opportunity was more important to her than our relationship so I ended it. I now have a job where I can work remotely almost fulltime, so I plan on buying a decent apartment and living in Colombia within the next 18 months. My ex has actually caught wind of this and is aggressively trying to patch things up but I just don't feel the same way anymore. She had the opportunity to choose what was more important to her and it was her education. I respect her decision.

[Researcher]

   Hey FT, I am most certainly opposite when it came to the ladies.I've made mistakes when moving too fast but I guess if you are certain about a woman there is no need to wait.I never really had a time limit measured in days, weeks or months my gut always told me when it was time.

      Researcher

[fathertime]

   Hey FT, I am most certainly opposite when it came to the ladies.I've made mistakes when moving too fast but I guess if you are certain about a woman there is no need to wait.I never really had a time limit measured in days, weeks or months my gut always told me when it was time.

      Researcher

Hehe! You know how it is Rese, I don’t know if it is ever safe to be certain about a lady, but for me I decided I was willing to risk it on ‘reasonably sure’.    Now, years later it appears my judgment was correct and I'm am obviously much closer to 'certain' then when the relationship started!  I have a pretty high tolerance for risk though, I’d say many men would be more comfortable letting things play out more in the early going!
There should be some sort of college course for men on practicing proper judgement with the ladies, the funny thing is it would probably be filled up with lesbians, and the men would have to petition the course. 
 
Fathertime!

[Colgando]

Thanks guys, loved reading your posts.


Yeah, I am very happy with the pace that the relationship with my lady is moving, it is just right for me. The communication is going great so far.

[chameleon]

Hehe! You know how it is Rese, I don’t know if it is ever safe to be certain about a lady, but for me I decided I was willing to risk it on ‘reasonably sure’.    Now, years later it appears my judgment was correct and I'm am obviously much closer to 'certain' then when the relationship started!  I have a pretty high tolerance for risk though, I’d say many men would be more comfortable letting things play out more in the early going!
There should be some sort of college course for men on practicing proper judgement with the ladies, the funny thing is it would probably be filled up with lesbians, and the men would have to petition the course. 
 
Fathertime!

Your posts are always entertaining... And I'm finding myself in agreement with you over the time/certainty issue. You can drag it out forever, but in the meantime, your life is passing you by.


Colgando, what was the problem that Jaime warned you about and why was his reasoning wrong? I'm going down soon and am curious.

[Colgando]

Colgando, what was the problem that Jaime warned you about and why was his reasoning wrong? I'm going down soon and am curious.

Hey Chameleon, Jamie warned that a girl was not interested. She was sending mixed signals which meant she was not interested. If the women is into to you, she will make you a priority, this woman was not making me a priority but she was still showing up and doing things that said she was interested. She was attracted to me, under different circumstances, I could capture her. She was a child though, she was not an adult at 23 years old. She had some psychological problems and some issues with her mom, she was a psychologist too at that, I ended up meeting this woman's mom so the mom could provide her approval for her daughter to keep seeing me, which took a lot for the girl to do. In the end, if I met her on the street, not on the agency seen, I could capture her, but she was not a good candidate for me because she was not an adult and she was not completely into me.


Moral of the story, if Jamie says a girl is not interested, he will probably be right, he has been doing this for over 8 years I believe. He was adamant she was not interested, full stop, but she was interested, the staff was divided, some thought she was, others thought she wasn't and had issues. She may have been interested in the idea of me, which some of the women are, easy to spot them, looking to hope on the gringo express.

[benjio]

Hey Chameleon, Jamie warned that a girl was not interested. She was sending mixed signals which meant she was not interested. If the women is into to you, she will make you a priority, this woman was not making me a priority but she was still showing up and doing things that said she was interested. She was attracted to me, under different circumstances, I could capture her. She was a child though, she was not an adult at 23 years old. She had some psychological problems and some issues with her mom, she was a psychologist too at that, I ended up meeting this woman's mom so the mom could provide her approval for her daughter to keep seeing me, which took a lot for the girl to do. In the end, if I met her on the street, not on the agency seen, I could capture her, but she was not a good candidate for me because she was not an adult and she was not completely into me.


Moral of the story, if Jamie says a girl is not interested, he will probably be right, he has been doing this for over 8 years I believe. He was adamant she was not interested, full stop, but she was interested, the staff was divided, some thought she was, others thought she wasn't and had issues. She may have been interested in the idea of me, which some of the women are, easy to spot them, looking to hope on the gringo express.

My advice to every gringo I've met at Jamie's during their first trip is to listen to him. He's definitely not always right but not taking his advice usually results in an undesirable outcome. You said a mouthful when you called him a black and white thinker Colgando. He doesn't believe that it's okay for a woman's interest in you to gradually increase as you continue to date her. She has to be head over heels from the get go. I don't completely agree with that...but from what I've seen happen to gringos in Colombia, ESPECIALLY those that use his agency, I don't blame him for thinking this way.