Wow, my 1st trip report from Colombia, the good, the bad and the ugly, let's go!

[Colgando]

Colgando
if I can, let me offer some advice. DON T ditch your second choice from the first trip. Communicate with her and if she is still free in 3 months, go out with her again, as one of your options.
She may become nothing more then a friend, but having some women friends is a good experience.
Rating women is an artificial way to try and find THE ONE. Meet women, enjoy the experience and try to learn from them, dont be so hasty to make cuts., unless its an obvious mismatch.

Noted, good advice, I soooo do not have my friend cap on right now....jejeje 

[Colgando]

Yeah, now that I think of it, you are just about the best age there could be to maximize the experience in Colombia. You have plenty of time to search, play, have fun. And if you have a decent career, the world is your oyster. It should not be hard to demonstrate that you are a good solid guy and not a player. Not too old, not too young.

Damn man, I wish someone would have turned me on to all this when I was 29/30!!!! Wow!

Yes sir 

I figure I have 4 good trips in me per year until I lock something down or head in a different direction.

[Colgando]

flash....
Im not sure what you mean that Im an OG. Are you comparing me to Orlando Guy?

And if you re talking about the advice I gave about the looking  the mirror issue.....don t tell your girlfriend, just do it!  jejejeje

Original Gangster....it is a compliment and term of endearment in Urban Ebonics. The OGs are the bosses and run the streets.

You got game DL...having game is a compliment and term of endearment in Urban Ebonics.

In suburban lingo, you are good with the ladies and you know how to engage them well for attraction, retention and mating purposes.

[fathertime]

Take her face gently in your hands and kiss her, maybe on the mouth, on the eyes. on the forhead and the cheeks. and whisper...you are beautiful and I thank God I am with you.  And then pat her on the ass....and embrace her.

 
Dennis    

I must say that is one of the better pieces of advice i've heard in a while!  I might actually try this one with my wife, if she actually cared how I thought she looked! jaja

  I just am trying to lose the picture I have of dennislevy re-enacting it....with Andylee! jajajajajaj 

Fathertime!

[robert angel]

Colgando,

Re:

>>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote from: Alabamaboy! on Today at 08:42:27 PM
Yeah, now that I think of it, you are just about the best age there could be to maximize the experience in Colombia. You have plenty of time to search, play, have fun. And if you have a decent career, the world is your oyster. It should not be hard to demonstrate that you are a good solid guy and not a player. Not too old, not too young.

Damn man, I wish someone would have turned me on to all this when I was 29/30!!!! Wow!

                                                                      &
Yes sir  

I figure I have 4 good trips in me per year until I lock something down or head in a different direction<<

Colgando: You lucky (relatively) young whipper snapper you! You better enjoy all that play time down there, or otherwise, we're gonna make you write a THOUSAND times, this immortal quote, penned by George Bernard Shaw:

                                                "Youth is wasted on the young"

[dennislevy]

FT

SHOW that morena goddess,that her gringo has got some game! jejejejeje!
Andy and I want to take lessons from you, papacito!

Seriously, Andy and I have talked on the phone...and we like our lives just FINE, jejejeje

And Flash and whoever I appreciate the compliment about being an OG! Ive got to tell my 23 year old American son that! he ll laugh so hard, he ll wet his pants......

Im good at the attraction and mating parts, not too good or maybe not trying that hard  at the retention part!
´
PERO ,GRACIAS....MUY AMABLE....

jejejejeje

[AndyLee]

I must say that is one of the better pieces of advice i've heard in a while!  I might actually try this one with my wife, if she actually cared how I thought she looked! jaja

  I just am trying to lose the picture I have of dennislevy re-enacting it....with Andylee! jajajajajaj 

Fathertime!

  good one FT

[V_Man]

An awesome report! Gracias!
I am learning a lot from reading these reports.

[Colgando]

An awesome report! Gracias!
I am learning a lot from reading these reports.

De nada V, or as they say in BAQ, a la orden!

I just put it all out there, un-cut, in the spirit of the board.

I tell you what, I have never had a 10 days like that in my entire life, incredible, already planning to go back, I feel like a crack head, I still believe in my Colombiana dream, todavia colgando en este sueno jejeje

[Colgando]

FT

SHOW that morena goddess,that her gringo has got some game! jejejejeje!
Andy and I want to take lessons from you, papacito!

Seriously, Andy and I have talked on the phone...and we like our lives just FINE, jejejeje

And Flash and whoever I appreciate the compliment about being an OG! Ive got to tell my 23 year old American son that! he ll laugh so hard, he ll wet his pants......

Im good at the attraction and mating parts, not too good or maybe not trying that hard  at the retention part!
´
PERO ,GRACIAS....MUY AMABLE....

jejejejeje

You've got retention skills, you've been married. At this point, I would bet money you will not be able to be married again in Colombia, it would be hard for you my friend IMO. Or if you did, you may be like the Colombiano!

[Colgando]

  LOL!  Not a bad answer, but she was fishing for a compliment, and you gave her none!  How about, "Yes, there are (ok so far), which is why I came here, to meet a beautiful woman like you!"
  How about a simple, Yes, I would, or No, you are right, I would not?  Why be so cryptic with her.  You told her something nice but did not answer her question at all.
  LOL!  See, no self esteem problem.  She knows she is hot.  She just wanted you to tell her.

Ignorante, what up!

Yeah, I have difficulty complimenting women on their beauty after my experience with these AW egos.

I think I will adopt DLs technique and show her that I think she is beautiful with my actions followed with a simple, affectionate phrase.

[whitey]

My ex-wife (gringa) seemed to hate it when I complemented her.

I haven't met a latina yet that doesn't appreciate a sincere complement ... I really enjoy being able to tell Nazly how beautiful she is.

I also compliment her sister, her friends, and my Colombian friends here.

[utopiacowboy]

My ex-wife (gringa) seemed to hate it when I complemented her.

I haven't met a latina yet that doesn't appreciate a sincere complement ... I really enjoy being able to tell Nazly how beautiful she is.

I also compliment her sister, her friends, and my Colombian friends here.

You are absolutely right, Whitey. I can even make compliments to my wife about what a truly lovely rear end she has and she beams as though she was just crowned Miss Colombia.

[Colgando]

Colgando, my ex fiancee from Barranquilla was exactly how you described: gorgeous, but low self esteem, always looking in the mirror (always), etc. She was a smart girl. She could have been a great wife, but she was obsessed with her looks and always tried to garner as much attention as possible. Especially from guys. I really do not think she wanted to sleep with the guys or anything, but she wanted to prove to herself and the rest of the world that she was the most beautiful. She was super young with an awesome body and beautiful, perfect breasts and was already asking me if in a year or two I would get her a breast lift, because she felt her breasts were getting a little saggy. I was dumbfounded. I could not have dreamed up breasts better than hers and she was already planning on refurbishing them???

The weird thing is that this girl told me she had 2-3 serious boyfriends before me, and had gone out with some other guys for a couple dates here and there, but that all guys "wanted just one thing" from her. They were not interested in her mind or her as a person. OK. And that led to further self esteem issues.

 So as it played out, she ended up being one of these women who morphed into a gringa. Obsessed with getting her "career", accumulating wealth and material things because she wanted to be a "somebody". I saw her within the last year. Yes...she finally got her dream and was in the University, and she had a crappy job to help pay for it, working 10 hour days 5 1/2 days a week, was worn out, lost alot of her great looks, super body, and more importantly zest for life. She is probably making about 800K COP per month if she is lucky. She has a Colombian boyfriend now who treats her badly and appears to be a dork, but "he helps with the bills".

I read this again and this description fits Latina #1 to a T. All except the last paragraph because I do not know how it will turn out for her. Man, isn't that something. I tell you, live and you learn, I will be able see this type of chica coming the next time, my dumb a$$ will probably still go out with her though  . She is the only one that fit this description that I dated, the only one looking in the mirror all....the....time....and making all these comments from a position of low self-esteem. Wheeww, I dodged a bullet, good thing I was not at the top of my game with her!

[Colgando]

Question:

In your posts Colgando when you mention having make out sessions and then asking your translator how she thinks the relationship is going are you making out with the translator around? I dont think i could do that for sure

Col! What up, you still didn't deny you are vallenatoman? It is cool if you are dude, don't sweat it.

I just saw this post. My translator wasn't around much, she had it easy with me, I didn't need her after the 1st 3 days. I retained her services for the whole trip as a hedge. She was around for meal dates, but most times she would go to another table, or outside, and do her own thing, that is when me and my date could do our thing. Whenever I was at the agency with my dates, the translator was not around, already gone home or in the office. Latina #1 and #2 did not think she needed to be around either, it is too awkward for them and we communicated just fine. Next time I go, I will not be using a translator, unnecessary for me. I am glad she was there this time because she watched my back a couple of times when I could have placed myself in harms way being ignorant. I learned important lessons. The translator had the day off when I went to Cartagena with Latina #1, I asked her to come out with me with Latina #1s friends because I knew I would not be able to understand her friends and I wanted to know what they were talking about.

The only time she was around when I kissed anyone was when we were all out with Latina #1s friends on her b-day and Latina #1 kissed me in front of everybody at the table.
 

[sticky2]

I tell you, live and you learn, I will be able see this type of chica coming the next time, my dumb a$$ will probably still go out with her though  . She is the only one that fit this description that I dated, the only one looking in the mirror all....the....time....and making all these comments from a position of low self-esteem. Wheeww, I dodged a bullet, good thing I was not at the top of my game with her!

Man, Colgando... I feel for you bro... the only problem with the above quote is I don't see how you could see it coming again.  From the way you tell it in your TR, she was AWESOME!  There was NOTHING I read in your TR that threw up red flags.  Even though she ditched her family for you on her b-day, to me that was the opposite of a red flag.  No girl I've ever met would have ditched family and friends on her b-day for a guy unless she was TOTALLY into him.  And a lot of girls look in the mirror a lot, that is not a red flag either.

Man, I hate to pile on because you're getting over it now, but this is how I would see it from her perspective.  She's totally into you, so much so that she blew off her family on her b-day.  You guys are having a romantic time at the beach, totally connecting.  You decide together that you are now novios, then you follow that with the bombshell of telling her that even though you are novios, you are still going to go on dates with other women.

It probably didn't hit her at first.  She probably woke up the next day confused and then here is probably what REALLY happened.  These latinas can talk each other into a serious frenzy, so I bet she was feeling a little sad that you were still going to see other girls after you became novios, and started talking to her little girlfriends about it, well, her little girlfriend probably started getting all offended and emotional and telling her how much of a ba$tard you were for doing that, then she probably felt a little stupid and to save face with her friends, probably told them all she was through with you and wasn't going to talk to you again.

Dude, you sound like an awesome guy, and a Christian, which I am too.... so you might have a hard time with this... but next time LIE!!!!!  Either lie, or avoid the subject, or do something other than tell her that you are still going to see other girls, or (and this is a last resort) actually STOP seeing other girls at that point.  They don't want to hear that, man.  When I was down there, towards the end of my trip I was with the girl I really liked, and she brought up the same thing, I confidently pulled out my cell phone and let her watch me erase the numbers of the other girls.  I knew I could still contact them through Jamie's staff if I wanted to.

Just my 2 cents.

[AndyLee]

... but next time LIE!!!!! 

Just my 2 cents.

That actually works, uh, sometimes? I'm reminded of the picture Rese posted on another thread today, where Mickey gets kicked in the balls by the little girl Man that is funny!

[Colgando]

Man, Colgando... I feel for you bro... the only problem with the above quote is I don't see how you could see it coming again.  From the way you tell it in your TR, she was AWESOME!  There was NOTHING I read in your TR that threw up red flags.  Even though she ditched her family for you on her b-day, to me that was the opposite of a red flag.  No girl I've ever met would have ditched family and friends on her b-day for a guy unless she was TOTALLY into him.  And a lot of girls look in the mirror a lot, that is not a red flag either.

Man, I hate to pile on because you're getting over it now, but this is how I would see it from her perspective.  She's totally into you, so much so that she blew off her family on her b-day.  You guys are having a romantic time at the beach, totally connecting.  You decide together that you are now novios, then you follow that with the bombshell of telling her that even though you are novios, you are still going to go on dates with other women.

It probably didn't hit her at first.  She probably woke up the next day confused and then here is probably what REALLY happened.  These latinas can talk each other into a serious frenzy, so I bet she was feeling a little sad that you were still going to see other girls after you became novios, and started talking to her little girlfriends about it, well, her little girlfriend probably started getting all offended and emotional and telling her how much of a ba$tard you were for doing that, then she probably felt a little stupid and to save face with her friends, probably told them all she was through with you and wasn't going to talk to you again.

Dude, you sound like an awesome guy, and a Christian, which I am too.... so you might have a hard time with this... but next time LIE!!!!!  Either lie, or avoid the subject, or do something other than tell her that you are still going to see other girls, or (and this is a last resort) actually STOP seeing other girls at that point.  They don't want to hear that, man.  When I was down there, towards the end of my trip I was with the girl I really liked, and she brought up the same thing, I confidently pulled out my cell phone and let her watch me erase the numbers of the other girls.  I knew I could still contact them through Jamie's staff if I wanted to.

Just my 2 cents.

Thanks Sticky for your take on my trip report, that very well may be it, the way I handled that was not good for sure, I think back and it was awkward, not good. I do not believe in lying, you could probably tell from my trip report, so I can't do that. This character trait of mine about not lying caused me to openly tell her I had a date tomorrow and what did she think about it. Not lying gets me in trouble sometimes so I have to always be sure that I am operating optimally so that I can always tell the truth in stride.

Yes, I am a Christian, looking for a Christian woman, I am so happy I can find them in Colombia.

Things I will do differently next time, I will slow down the too serious talk significantly, temper my emotions, and when I ask a woman to be my novia again, I will immediately severe ties to all other women in her eyes, I prematurely asked her to be my novia on this trip, I wasn't prepared to be committed so quickly and fumbled as a result.

When I mean see her coming, I mean see a woman who has these self-esteem issues, I will be able to recognize it for what it is. I did not make any effort to deal with her insecurities about her beauty, I would try next time to reassure her about her beauty in a way that positively boosted her self-esteem and see how that played out, being aware of ABs story with his ex, that is the theory anyway that I am operating under.

[AndyLee]

Catholics are "Christians" so it shouldn't be hard to find a Christian woman in this country. As for women who continually check themselves in the mirror, I once dated a woman who would fluff her hair and purse her lips even when I walked by the mirror and she was 10 feet away

The women who check the mirror all the time are usually Taurus women. They can be exceptionally narcissistic.

[Colgando]

Catholics are "Christians" so it shouldn't be hard to find a Christian woman in this country. As for women who continually check themselves in the mirror, I once dated a woman who would fluff her hair and purse her lips even when I walked by the mirror and she was 10 feet away

The women who check the mirror all the time are usually Taurus women. They can be exceptionally narcissistic.

I should clarify and say Protestant vs. Catholic to be more precise. Protestant I refer to as Christian as is common place in the US. Many, many different sects within the movement begun by Christ.

Latina #1 was an Aries, and I am a Gemini, match made in heaven so the zodiac said....jejejeje 

[AndyLee]

Latina #1 was an Aries, and I am a Gemini, match made in heaven so the zodiac said....jejejeje 

"Match" is a good choice of words since this combination is unusually explosive. Aries women are noted for falling in love instantly and falling out of love even faster.

[Colgando]

"Match" is a good choice of words since this combination is unusually explosive. Aries women are noted for falling in love instantly and falling out of love even faster.

So went the story with this brief, yet explosive encounter, that zodiac, right again on this one.

Andy, what makes this match unusually explosive? Crazy, but I fit the characteristics of a Gemini to a T.

[colcorazon]

Colgando from Colcorazon

I wasnt focusing on your report by the way

I wasnt trying to be down too much on Jamies really either.

I just want what you seem to want as well -- a loyal woman who is WITH ME and not lying/with a ton of other guys.

Sometimes it just seems theres so many contradictions with this process. We go to Jamies to find a serious marriage minded lady but it seems that many guys tell
stories of sexual adventurers.

I JUST dont believe in 7 days or so a [good] man can FIND THE ONE FOR SURE. So i know alot of guys especially the ones who are weak internally will just
push sex because hey what else is there right?

I am going to hold these ladies to a higher standard when i go. I dotn want the ones with high mileage (would you buy a car with 100,000 miles) sold to you as a new car?

I want one that actually WONT have sex with guys...who explains she also wants a solid relationship not just a week of sex on the beach.

Im going to be direct as well either right in the one on ones or if Jamie oks it... during the group meetings.

I think if  you go back you should too... try the direct method... maybe youll find the ladies [good ones you want] will appreciate and respect you for it.

That way you dont need to play games...lie...cheat.... see what i mean?

[fathertime]

I JUST dont believe in 7 days or so a [good] man can FIND THE ONE FOR SURE. So i know alot of guys especially the ones who are weak internally will just
push sex because hey what else is there right?

 

From all your posts you seem like quite a weak dreamer yourself.  Your ‘gonna do this’ and ‘gonna do that’ meanwhile you haven’t discussed that you have done, yet find it appropriate to criticize and characterize others who have made the effort to do.  You have asked stupid questions about fat guys having luck with the ladies when you claim to be a fit mountain climber, wtf do you care how fat guys do with the ladies and what gives you the ass to talk about how everybody else is doing it wrong?
 
You want to go about things your own way and that is just fine.  These guys who just got back from their trips didn’t do anything wrong and as far as I’m concerned based on what they have said learned a lot and will likely succeed in finding a nice wife in the future.  If you want to go on a non-sex pact and travel and correspond with a woman for 1 year before you start boning down then that is your business,but most men aren’t going to fake it and go against their nature and do that.  Hey who knows maybe you will find some nice celibate woman which will make your method no better than these guys, meanwhile you haven’t done much of anything  except criticize from afar.   

Fathertime!

[Colgando]

Im going to be direct as well either right in the one on ones or if Jamie oks it... during the group meetings.

I think if  you go back you should too... try the direct method... maybe youll find the ladies [good ones you want] will appreciate and respect you for it.

That way you dont need to play games...lie...cheat.... see what i mean?

Col, what up! I was pretty direct with the women, I am a direct person and with so many women vying for my attention, it is very easy to be direct and blunt. I am different from you in that I just let the chemistry and sexuality flow, I just keep it natural as it progresses. The man drives this flow, so as I progress with a female, if she is not in sync with the pace I am setting, then that is all she wrote.

Now if you are referring to being direct about sexuality in the one on ones and groups....hmmmm....you can ask whatever you want, you are the paying customer, I always asked them about past boyfriends and current relationships to see how they responded during the one on ones, not in the groups. However, I did ask them in one group if any had boyfriends, just throwing it out there, guess what they all said, no. I do not know how that would play out if you asked them if they are a virgin or how many sexual partners they have had in a group or so quickly in the one on ones, but go for it and see what shakes out, I suspect that may be a bit awkward and premature IMO, that is not the way I flow personally. I am the type of person where I don't stunt other dudes so what she has done with other dudes is really far from my mind, once she tastes Colgando, she will forget about the rest. I am no virgin myself and have some miles on me, so I can't really hold them to a different standard than what I am. What I am interested in is if she can be sexually faithful in a monogamous relationship, can't really know until one has been intimate with his woman, whether it is before or after marriage.