Wow, my 1st trip report from Colombia, the good, the bad and the ugly, let's go!

[colcorazon]

Question:

In your posts Colgando when you mention having make out sessions and then asking your translator how she thinks the relationship is going are you making out with the translator around? I dont think i could do that for sure

[Researcher]

It's cool Orlando, I am 29, a young buck, I have plenty of time to make this adventure work. All the women were 23 to 27 that I dated. I accepted that I am taking a risk looking in this age range, but being 29, I would be fine locking something down in the 23 to 27 age range if it was a good fit.

I am not in a rush at all. I had planned for making multiple trips, I did not think I would be a one hit wonder.

        Smart thinking Colgando.Sounds like you are doing good.


         Researcher

[ignorante]

she commented/questioned me that there are a lot of beautiful women here in BAQ? I acknowledge her and just said yes, there are. Can I handle this differently?  

  LOL!  Not a bad answer, but she was fishing for a compliment, and you gave her none!  How about, "Yes, there are (ok so far), which is why I came here, to meet a beautiful woman like you!"

She commented to me that she did not think I would want to see her again, how best could I respond to the question? I told her that I liked spending time with her and that I thought about her, is there a better answer?

  How about a simple, Yes, I would, or No, you are right, I would not?  Why be so cryptic with her.  You told her something nice but did not answer her question at all.

She was obsessed with her mirror, looking in it every hour or so, she would only want to take pictures when she was looking her best, what should I make of this? How should I address her regarding her beauty?

  LOL!  See, no self esteem problem.  She knows she is hot.  She just wanted you to tell her.

[Alabamaboy!]

Colgando, my ex fiancee from Barranquilla was exactly how you described: gorgeous, but low self esteem, always looking in the mirror (always), etc. She was a smart girl. She could have been a great wife, but she was obsessed with her looks and always tried to garner as much attention as possible. Especially from guys. I really do not think she wanted to sleep with the guys or anything, but she wanted to prove to herself and the rest of the world that she was the most beautiful. She was super young with an awesome body and beautiful, perfect breasts and was already asking me if in a year or two I would get her a breast lift, because she felt her breasts were getting a little saggy. I was dumbfounded. I could not have dreamed up breasts better than hers and she was already planning on refurbishing them???

The weird thing is that this girl told me she had 2-3 serious boyfriends before me, and had gone out with some other guys for a couple dates here and there, but that all guys "wanted just one thing" from her. They were not interested in her mind or her as a person. OK. And that led to further self esteem issues.

 So as it played out, she ended up being one of these women who morphed into a gringa. Obsessed with getting her "career", accumulating wealth and material things because she wanted to be a "somebody". I saw her within the last year. Yes...she finally got her dream and was in the University, and she had a crappy job to help pay for it, working 10 hour days 5 1/2 days a week, was worn out, lost alot of her great looks, super body, and more importantly zest for life. She is probably making about 800K COP per month if she is lucky. She has a Colombian boyfriend now who treats her badly and appears to be a dork, but "he helps with the bills".

These women are a handful. Most of them have issues. I can tell you a bunch of other stories too.

But you can still find awesome women there if you have the time to sort through them all, like you did on your first trip, while avoiding any landmines such as a premature relationship, pregnancy, exhaust all your travel cash, spend all your years spinning your wheels looking.

I think I have an awesome wife. I know Raycjs, Fathertime, Pivery, and Whitey all found great girls in BAQ. I know a bunch of others too. But it is not easy sometimes. But with the sheer number of women available there, it is just a matter of time until you find your diamond. And until then, enjoy the ride.

Your age at 29 is a double edge sword. At that age you have at least 10 years to look around and enjoy. But also, at least what I have heard from almost all women there and even the guys, that for marriage material the women are looking for a guy a little older, maybe at least in his 30's because the younger ones they believe are just playing games, are mujeriegos, are going to dump them later on, or will not be able to financially support them. They think the older guys are more stable, mature, financially secure, and will be better fathers and husbands. They have no problems going out and partying with the younger guys though.

[dennislevy]

That many Colombian women have issues.....of that there is no doubt. Ive written aobut this many times on this forum...there is a broad river of emotional issues and disorders in the female population.....including self esteem issues, bi polar disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and borderline personality disorder.

Dating and communciating with a Colombian woman is a self taught course in practical psych....my goal always it to find it if they have emotional stability.

Like every other red blooded guy on this site I have normal desires for sex....but evaluating a woman in the course of one or two dates is what I do...and its why I think speaking Spanish is so important. The right question in the first two dates, may save a man thousands of diollars and heartbreak down the road.

Sex may happen during those two dates......and I wont object.....PARA NADA! but for me to have relationship that progresses beyond sex with a Colombian woman, she must have emotional stablity.

Colgando talked aobut irrationality....maybe another way to put it is that Colombian women FEEL, and many FEEL intensely. Its very hard to counter with logic...God knows I ve tried....and so, now I mirror some emotions.....and that is another thesis level topic.

When a Colombian woman looks at herself in the mirror and asks you, how do I look? Most of the guys want to reply with words.....you look terrific...

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take her face gently in your hands and kiss her, maybe on the mouth, on the eyes. on the forhead and the cheeks. and whisper...you are beautiful and I thank God I am with you.  And then pat her on the ass....and embrace her.

Colombian women need reassurance....and that is the kind of reassurance they want. Remember they think gringos are cold....don t be cold with your women!

Dios mio, debo cobrarse  por mis consejos.....jejejeje

The words in Spanish are a joke...but the advice is not..... Try it.  

Have a great day everyone....!

Dennis    

[Alabamaboy!]

Dennis, I give my women lots of compliments, but if they are already skating by in life on their good looks (which I think happens a lot in Colombia) the last thing on my mind is catering to their ego even more. If I was trying to get laid, sure, why not? But as wife material I think it is not a really wise thing to do (IMO) to be dwelling on their beauty, lack of beauty, etc. I think it is much better to compliment them on their actions, their intelligence, and their forma de ser.

If I see a girl checking herself out in the mirror all the time, I take that as a huge red flag. I thought that when I was with my ex, and as things turned out, I should have gone with that instinct. Especially if they are already obviously in the "8+" category, if they are still insecure or striving for more beauty, it may be a bad sign.

If it does not bother you to have a higher maintenance gal, then by all means stick with it. And you can probably be very happy with a woman like that if you have the time and energy to do so. But for me, and a lot of guys (I imagine), the low maintenance, natural beauty who is more interested in you and others rather than her own looks is what turns me on.

The great thing about Colombia is that it is crawling with desirable women so that you can date a bunch of them until you find exactly what you are looking for.

[dennislevy]

Alabama boy....this is your quote

The great thing about Colombia is that it is crawling with desirable women so that you can date a bunch of them until you find exactly what you are looking for.

and my response is No [snip], Sherlock!

I live HERE in Colombia...and I figured that out about three years ago.....

The last thing I want is a high maintenance girl...I will never pay for cosmetic surgery and I don t  date siliconas

But every woman does want reassurance. And almost ALL women in this country want to be told that they are beautiful. and whether I m getting laid or not...I see beauty in women. if I sincerely FEEL it, I say it.....works wonders...

and i thought exactly as you did....before I moved here. And I ve changed... 

[Researcher]

     Do you guys realize that you are both right. Alabamaboy likes the younger women and Dennis goes for the older ones. The younger hotties don't need to hear how hot they are because they hear it alot from other guys. If you tell them this repeatedly then you are just like the other saps that are chasing them. The older women are considered over the hill at 30.The older they get the less attention they get.So compliments go a long way with them.Just my 2 cents.

     Researcher

[utopiacowboy]

Colgando, you have to be true to yourself and if for whatever reason, Latina #1 could not handle that, then you are better off without her. As for the probie's swipe at you, Latina #1 is a grown woman and made her own choice as to how she wanted to spend her birthday. There is probably more to this story than we may ever know.

[Colgando]

Lots of great feedback, much love  

This is just too much fun for me, yeeeaaaahhhhh  

I am already stoked about my next trip, I may have a new addiction, I get off work today and I immediately start thinking about heading back South, Lord help me, Latina #1 is a distance memory, sizzled really quick, fizzled even quicker, just like any high, gotta keep feeding it to sustain it, it has been a week now since I saw her last and the high is gone, planning to head down south for another 10 days late June, squeeze the 4th of July holiday in there for an extra day, all the wiser, all the sharper, all the stronger, those d$mn emotions, LOL, I got something a little different, a little new for these Latinas in Round 2, clear your schedules ladies, I'm coming, I'm coming  

I made a decision today, my gut tells me no on those other women, gotta go with my gut, I have to go back to the drawing board, which I am super excited about, a whole new set of sweet, sexy tenderones to sift through, what discoveries await me on the next trip! I decided that I am not going to keep in touch with those other women over the next 3 months, don't want to lead any of them on, golden rule, I may look-up Latina #2 when I head back down, we'll see. Instead, I am going to redouble my efforts with my Spanish Language skills and take it to the next level over the next 3 months. I essentially completed a 10 day immersion program, so my Spanish improved significantly over my trip, I am on a roll right now, got to keep progressing.

Orlando, Honestly, I hate online dating, not a good fit for me, I get super negative and paranoid thinking about online dating, I seriously doubt that I will ever try online dating again. My best, most efficient options are to move to South America, not possible now, or use an agency, so I must go with the latter for the time being, I actually dig the whole agency model. From my point of view, I equate online dating to "self-directed brokerage" and agency dating to "full service brokerage", both avenues utilize brokers who connect willing men with willing women (people who have capital and people who need capital in the analogy of securities brokers). The online dating brokerage method provides a minimal service level (self-directed) while the agency dating method provides additional services (full-service) beyond that of the online dating brokerage providers. Facilitating introductions is the additional service from an agency that works for me. If I lived in Colombia, it would not be necessary for me to use an agency because I am a social person and meet and make friends easily, but with only 10 days, the efficiency of an agency is a convincing value proposition for me. The question for me is can I encounter quality women in an agency, the answer is yes for me, I don't know the statistics, but I would bet the quality is 6 in one, half a dozen in the other when comparing the 2 dating brokerage methods. Just my 2 cent analysis.

Colgando aka iz_he_real, let's go!  

[Colgando]

Colgando, you have to be true to yourself and if for whatever reason, Latina #1 could not handle that, then you are better off without her. As for the probie's swipe at you, Latina #1 is a grown woman and made her own choice as to how she wanted to spend her birthday. There is probably more to this story than we may ever know.

Thanks UC, I agree, I am better off without her and there is more to this story, no doubt. If the probie didn;t swipe at me, I would have added more color to her decision to be with me on her birthday, more coloring around our conversations about it, but if he wants to pick a fight, he needs to be in my weight class or higher. There is room for me to tighten up my game, always room for improvement in life I believe, room to improve technique.

[Colgando]

Your age at 29 is a double edge sword. At that age you have at least 10 years to look around and enjoy. But also, at least what I have heard from almost all women there and even the guys, that for marriage material the women are looking for a guy a little older, maybe at least in his 30's because the younger ones they believe are just playing games, are mujeriegos, are going to dump them later on, or will not be able to financially support them. They think the older guys are more stable, mature, financially secure, and will be better fathers and husbands. They have no problems going out and partying with the younger guys though.

My age was not an issue, all the qualities you mentioned that are associated with older men, I have and can effectively demonstrate. I will be 30 my next trip, so maybe that will look better on the profile. They actually liked my age, going with the older guys appears to be a necessity based on their understanding of how younger men are in Colombia, these men down there are something else. Younger men in the US are much different.

[dennislevy]

Women in Colombia do NOT skate by on their good looks. Straight women work very very hard. Lots of men who dont know much about Colombia think that if a woman looks good, dresses sexy in designer style jeans and wears a little jewelry, she is skating by on her good looks. Many women are like that because they dont have much, their income goes to make themself look the best that they can

That isnt skating by. In three years in Colombia, I ve been in about 50 homes of Colombian women of all stratas...and when two sisters share a bed becuae there isnt any more space and the family pools together to make the rent, and the sisters chip inthat isnt skating by.

Life here is not easy.

 

[dennislevy]

Colgando
if I can, let me offer some advice. DON T ditch your second choice from the first trip. Communicate with her and if she is still free in 3 months, go out with her again, as one of your options.
She may become nothing more then a friend, but having some women friends is a good experience.
Rating women is an artificial way to try and find THE ONE. Meet women, enjoy the experience and try to learn from them, dont be so hasty to make cuts., unless its an obvious mismatch.

[Alabamaboy!]

My wife is the best looking of her sisters and readily admits that she has been given preferential treatment because of her looks. She does share a bed with her two sisters. So it is not like she is getting the world handed to her.

A good example is when I ask her how she has supposedly earned some kind of certificate from a business program and does not know how to do even basic computer activities. She describes how she was "helped" with those particular parts of the class project by her companeros or the teacher letting her slide.

Or that she never had a lot of family responsibilities....because she was the cute one. Things like that.

My ex fiancee never had to cook or clean even though she did not work, and her mother worked all day, because her mom was afraid she would mess up her nails or skin. And she treated her family rude at times and nobody ever said much because she was the little queen. She had the best clothes out of the family. And did the least out of everyone. It was weird. But in Colombia there is a very high emphasis on beauty.  

"Skating" by was not a good word to use, because the things they are getting is not really that much.....at least when they are in the lower estrata.

But I can just imagine what a knockout estrato 5-6 girl would be shooting for and receiving. The ones I met who were good looking and from the upper estrata...at least on the Coast....seemed to be the most spoiled women I have ever met in my life. Not just in Colombia...but from all the places I have ever traveled.

[Alabamaboy!]

My age was not an issue, all the qualities you mentioned that are associated with older men, I have and can effectively demonstrate. I will be 30 my next trip, so maybe that will look better on the profile. They actually liked my age, going with the older guys appears to be a necessity based on their understanding of how younger men are in Colombia, these men down there are something else. Younger men in the US are much different.

Yeah, now that I think of it, you are just about the best age there could be to maximize the experience in Colombia. You have plenty of time to search, play, have fun. And if you have a decent career, the world is your oyster. It should not be hard to demonstrate that you are a good solid guy and not a player. Not too old, not too young.

Damn man, I wish someone would have turned me on to all this when I was 29/30!!!! Wow!

[ignorante]

My wife is the best looking of her sisters and readily admits that she has been given preferential treatment because of her looks. She does share a bed with her two sisters. So it is not like she is getting the world handed to her.

A good example is when I ask her how she has supposedly earned some kind of certificate from a business program and does not know how to do even basic computer activities. She describes how she was "helped" with those particular parts of the class project by her companeros or the teacher letting her slide.

Or that she never had a lot of family responsibilities....because she was the cute one. Things like that.

My ex fiancee never had to cook or clean even though she did not work, and her mother worked all day, because her mom was afraid she would mess up her nails or skin. And she treated her family rude at times and nobody ever said much because she was the little queen. She had the best clothes out of the family. And did the least out of everyone. It was weird. But in Colombia there is a very high emphasis on beauty.  

 It seems like this life would produce a spoiled rotten princess?  But she grew up to be good wife material?

[Alabamaboy!]

Wait a minute! I did know about this sort of thing at that age. I actually married a pretty Filipina in the Philippines when I was that age. And we had a pretty good run for over 7 years. And two great children to show for it.

[dennislevy]

AB
Your point about people getting certificates, etc. is well taken. but that isnt about beauty, its just what happens, the disregard for rules, regulations and criteria is part of the culture. Its a culture that tolerates or ignores mediocrity and doesnt recognize excellence (as Americans might define those terms) as something to strive for.

Beauty is emphasized and exaggerated as part of the culture in some places, certainly in Cali...but in Bogota straight beautiful women work very hard.

[Alabamaboy!]

 It seems like this life would produce a spoiled rotten princess?  But she grew up to be good wife material?

Yesssss...that is what happened. She is a great woman at this time. But now it gives me perspective on why she had such a hard time learning English. Because in reality she probably thought she just needed to give a have baked gesture and I would let her slide because she is so cute. Like what had been happening throughout her life.

But when she got back to BAQ, she made up her mind to take care of business.

She was not "spoiled" by American standards as dennis was referring to. It is hard to call call someone spoiled living like she has had to.

The ex? She is probably still a spoiled diva. And that is the reason she is not with me at this time. And also the reason why her new Colombian boyfriend's facebook pic (with her) looks like he wants to kill himself. Jejeje.

[Alabamaboy!]

AB
Your point about people getting certificates, etc. is well taken. but that isnt about beauty, its just what happens, the disregard for rules, regulations and criteria is part of the culture. Its a culture that tolerates or ignores mediocrity and doesnt recognize excellence (as Americans might define those terms) as something to strive for.

Beauty is emphasized and exaggerated as part of the culture in some places, certainly in Cali...but in Bogota straight beautiful women work very hard.

Oh yes, I can just imagine. Bogota and to a lesser degree the Paisas probably treat the pretty girls harder than the rest because they want to prove to the them that they can't skate by on their looks. Almost all my experience has been on the Coast and Cali.

[utopiacowboy]

Women in Colombia do NOT skate by on their good looks. Straight women work very very hard. Lots of men who dont know much about Colombia think that if a woman looks good, dresses sexy in designer style jeans and wears a little jewelry, she is skating by on her good looks. Many women are like that because they dont have much, their income goes to make themself look the best that they can

That isnt skating by. In three years in Colombia, I ve been in about 50 homes of Colombian women of all stratas...and when two sisters share a bed becuae there isnt any more space and the family pools together to make the rent, and the sisters chip inthat isnt skating by.

Life here is not easy.

 

Got that right, DL.

[JimD]

My girlfriend skates by on her looks but is always lobbying for smoother skating.

[flash]

That many Colombian women have issues.....of that there is no doubt. Ive written aobut this many times on this forum...there is a broad river of emotional issues and disorders in the female population.....including self esteem issues, bi polar disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and borderline personality disorder.

Dating and communciating with a Colombian woman is a self taught course in practical psych....my goal always it to find it if they have emotional stability.

Like every other red blooded guy on this site I have normal desires for sex....but evaluating a woman in the course of one or two dates is what I do...and its why I think speaking Spanish is so important. The right question in the first two dates, may save a man thousands of diollars and heartbreak down the road.

Sex may happen during those two dates......and I wont object.....PARA NADA! but for me to have relationship that progresses beyond sex with a Colombian woman, she must have emotional stablity.

Colgando talked aobut irrationality....maybe another way to put it is that Colombian women FEEL, and many FEEL intensely. Its very hard to counter with logic...God knows I ve tried....and so, now I mirror some emotions.....and that is another thesis level topic.

When a Colombian woman looks at herself in the mirror and asks you, how do I look? Most of the guys want to reply with words.....you look terrific...

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take her face gently in your hands and kiss her, maybe on the mouth, on the eyes. on the forhead and the cheeks. and whisper...you are beautiful and I thank God I am with you.  And then pat her on the ass....and embrace her.

Colombian women need reassurance....and that is the kind of reassurance they want. Remember they think gringos are cold....don t be cold with your women!

Dios mio, debo cobrarse  por mis consejos.....jejejeje

The words in Spanish are a joke...but the advice is not..... Try it.  

Have a great day everyone....!

Dennis    

DL, You are an OG. The only problem with your post is when I pull out a printed copy and start to read it, she's gonna think I'm crazy.

[dennislevy]

flash....
Im not sure what you mean that Im an OG. Are you comparing me to Orlando Guy?

And if you re talking about the advice I gave about the looking  the mirror issue.....don t tell your girlfriend, just do it!  jejejeje