Can a One Woman Trip be successful?

[utopiacowboy]

Gato, why do you care how many women Dennis has dated???   Dennis seems to be quite happy  living in Colombia and having a great time.

Dan LV

I don't blame him one bit. I know if I lived in Colombia I would be a total hound dog. Under the circumstances DL is behaving a lot better than I would be.

[Bob_S]

I don't blame him one bit. I know if I lived in Colombia I would be a total hound dog. Under the circumstances DL is behaving a lot better than I would be.

I gotta agree with that.  If I were completely unattached (and uninhibited) and moved to Russia or Japan for whatever reason, I'd be living the CharismaMan fantasy dream and giving Western guys a bad reputation.  Dennis comes across as at least being a gentleman about it, not some frat guy like I'd be tempted to be after a year of boots on the ground.

[dennislevy]

jejeje
Bob S. I ll take that as a compliment...I think.

Last night I arruved in Ayapel a small pueblo, 2 hours from Monteria in Cordoba. I ve been chatting with an very attractive widow who lost her husband 4 years ago.

This a a woman of quality, great home, good job,  owns an Internet cafe in her home, two grown and successful kids .

She picked me up at the termnal in her moto...arranged for a moto for my suitcase, we putt putted off  to the hotel she had arranged....and by the time we left the room everythng in Apayel was closed!

Ad before anyone hollers SLUT.....there is a much different vibe berween men and women in ths country, then in American culture...i ve leanred how to communicate in THAT world

Qimica esta todo!

[utopiacowboy]

I don't know why you say it is different in America than Colombia. AW are the sluttiest on the planet. There's a reason the rappers sing about hos and bitches because that's all there is here.

[dennislevy]

UC
I am going to try and make this point yet again.

And I remember a huge wing ding on this board that went to the flame room when we discussed the word slut. there were a bunch of us,,,and THAT I don t want to do again.

 
I havent lived inthe US for three years, but I do remember that men seem to equate the amount of lovers a woman has had.....or how rapidlly she makes love with a man first date, second date or later) as an indication of her morality.

I ve stated that in my opinion that sex and morality are not inclusive...at least among the majority of Colombian women.

And PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE I am not talking about Mrs. UC! You ve presented her as a traditional woman from a very traditional Catholic family. There are women with equvalent values in Colombia, I don t  think they represent a substantial percentage of women...but they are there.....and Im thrilled that you found the right woman for you.

The woman I am with in Ayepel.....is a widow and she lost her husband four years ago. and she told me that she hasn t been with a man since her husband died, but even that isnt important. She was 24 and he was 38 when they married, I have no idea what her track record was before the marriage and i don t care.

There WAS chemistry yesterday and if she had been alone for four years, then maybe she decided I was the guy to break the streak. She is a vibrant sensual woman in her late 40s, a respected member  of the community in ths town, that is obvious to see. And she told me (and it could be fluff) that she doesnt see any propsects in this pueblo.for her

And there are women like her ALL over Colombia,  attractive smart widows, divorcees, separated women who have something to say...who have passion and fire and dont want to die as dry women without love. THEY don t get attention because of the men in the country.

Why?

Because many men in this country chase young women and they are arrogant and rude and they drink too much and the only reasons they would be interested in my amiga is for sex and money.

And she KNOWS that.

And if  women like her choose to have a good man as a lover for a ratitito.. they are not sluts  

[Jeff S]

Well said, Dennis.

Because many men in this country chase young women and they are arrogant and rude and they drink too much and the only reasons they would be interested in my amiga is for sex and money.

From this country - visiting there and everywhere else overseas, too.

[Ray]

And I remember a huge wing ding on this board that went to the flame room when we discussed the word slut. there were a bunch of us,,,and THAT I don t want to do again.

OK, then why did YOU bring up the word SLUT again??

Ad before anyone hollers SLUT.....

[utopiacowboy]

UC
I am going to try and make this point yet again.

And I remember a huge wing ding on this board that went to the flame room when we discussed the word slut. there were a bunch of us,,,and THAT I don t want to do again.

 
I havent lived inthe US for three years, but I do remember that men seem to equate the amount of lovers a woman has had.....or how rapidlly she makes love with a man first date, second date or later) as an indication of her morality.

I ve stated that in my opinion that sex and morality are not inclusive...at least among the majority of Colombian women.

And PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE I am not talking about Mrs. UC! You ve presented her as a traditional woman from a very traditional Catholic family. There are women with equvalent values in Colombia, I don t  think they represent a substantial percentage of women...but they are there.....and Im thrilled that you found the right woman for you.

The woman I am with in Ayepel.....is a widow and she lost her husband four years ago. and she told me that she hasn t been with a man since her husband died, but even that isnt important. She was 24 and he was 38 when they married, I have no idea what her track record was before the marriage and i don t care.

There WAS chemistry yesterday and if she had been alone for four years, then maybe she decided I was the guy to break the streak. She is a vibrant sensual woman in her late 40s, a respected member  of the community in ths town, that is obvious to see. And she told me (and it could be fluff) that she doesnt see any propsects in this pueblo.for her

And there are women like her ALL over Colombia,  attractive smart widows, divorcees, separated women who have something to say...who have passion and fire and dont want to die as dry women without love. THEY don t get attention because of the men in the country.

Why?

Because many men in this country chase young women and they are arrogant and rude and they drink too much and the only reasons they would be interested in my amiga is for sex and money.

And she KNOWS that.

And if  women like her choose to have a good man as a lover for a ratitito.. they are not sluts  

I did not mean to suggest that this particular woman is a slut. She may be nothing of the sort. You're quite right that a woman in her situation is not going to have a lot of prospects for a long-term relationship in Colombia. However, if she is attractive she should still have many opportunities for lovers - even at the age of 42 my wife got propositioned daily in Colombia.

You maintain that Colombians have some sort of New Age enlightened attitude towards sex. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sure, many of the women will put out and the Colombianos will bang them like drums but none of them wants to marry a woman like that. It seems clear that you have no interest in marrying any of these women and I don't see why you should actually. You're getting a lot of milk for free.

[dennislevy]

UC
No, I don t agree and I want to try and make this point with respect.

Sex is something that permeates Colombian society...at all levels...it just IS, its discussed laughed about and joked about, at least that is my perception and I live here and I ve talked with hundreds of Colombian women.

But what is NOT  discuused is how many partners someone has had...or IF it is discussed, one or both LIE...for obvious reasons

Colombian men marry for any number of reasons.
1. As part of the social contract to enter society
2, Because their girlfriend is pregnant
3 Because their partner in a union libre wants a marriage
4, because they genuinely love a woman
5. Because an older partner can offer and demonstrate a younger partner security and this cuts both ways. A Colombian man may marry an older woman for security and and how many lovers she has had before him is not IMPORTANT.

My current amiga in Ayapel told me that she did receive attention from men after her husand died...but she cut them off because she had not finished grieving.  

I was interested in getting married my first couple of years in Colombia and what i dicovered.....was that marriage was the last thing that mature women in their 40s wanted, at least with me!  They didnt want to make committments.  

And as you so delcately put it...i ve gotten a lot of free milk in Colombia.  

I am not a Catholic, but for close to 25 years of my life I was a practicing member of a very conservative reliigon and I married a woman (of the same religion) who IS the mother of my son and  WAS my wife for 22 years WITHOUT making love or living together before we got married. That was the rule of  our religion and we followed it.

I respect her, she was and is a great  mother but I ll NEVER, NEVER  do it again, I ll never marry without living with a woman before and being lovers  for at least 6 months.

have a good day

Dennis

[utopiacowboy]

It's difficult to talk about sex in Colombia without separating it from the economic conditions there. People will do a lot of things they otherwise would not because they must. I could get laid daily in Colombia from pros and non-pros alike simply because I've got the money to spend. My Colombian brothers-in-law are with a different 18 or 19 year old girl every weekend because they have good jobs, money and cars. Is there a different morality? No, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

[Zon]

Excellent point; and I am still trying to wrap my head around this ... "It's difficult to talk about sex in Colombia without separating it from the economic conditions there. People will do a lot of things they otherwise would not because they must. I could get laid daily in Colombia from pros and non-pros alike simply because I've got the money to spend. My Colombian brothers-in-law are with a different 18 or 19 year old girl every weekend because they have good jobs, money and cars. Is there a different morality? No, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do."  A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do ... but, social climbing can be sport for women too.

Increasingly, I am valuing a college degree as a constant and minimum criteria for serious consideration.   If a women is not from a rich family, and gets a degree, that speaks volumes about her smarts, and ability to pursue a goal and create structure in a probably semi-chaotic life. 

[dennislevy]

Zon, UC et aL

Its really not that hard to make the separation between sex and money in Colombia

The key is what you look for in a woman, I ve dated women from strato 2 to strato 6, and in 3 years. only once did I feel that a woman went to bed for me because she was looking for money...and she was disappointed!  

Now I ve had women eliminate me and I ve eliminated women in one date before anything happnes  I just treated it as a straight date and I spent 20 or 25 bucks to hear the tale..... And there are certaib code phrases that indcates that a girl is looking  for a patron.  

And I know that we have much different tastes in women...what I look for is

A woman with a decent job or a decent business ,
usually starting at 40 years old .
I want to know how long they were with the father of the kids,
why the relationship ended
What is her relationship with her kids.
Are her parents alive and if so, are they together?
I also want to know if she will inbtroduce me to her family  in her home in a reasonable amount of time...

If I can get answers to those questions......I am confident that if we are lovers, she isnt going to expect money or gifts out of the ordinary...She is with me because she sees something in me that she likes.

All of these are applicable to the younger woman you like. The completed college education CAN be nice indicator...but what is more important is that she has FINISHED wharever level of education she has had and she has a track record of finishing things.

[beginthebeguin]

Dennis I think your basic criteria for starting a relationship with a woman has got some valid points.

Yes the lady I am interested in meets all the criteria. Especially the last one. I asked her tonight if she is going to introduce me to her family and she said yes as soon as I arrive. In fact they are all expecting me and that is a good sign.

And a woman in her forties or even late thirties has already formulated what she wants out of life. At least it seems that way to me. Have you ever come across many women younger than 40 years that have as much maturity?

[utopiacowboy]

"Its really not that hard to make the separation between sex and money in Colombia"

That may be the most wrong statement ever made on PL. Answer me one question: can you bed the same type of woman in the US that are you are bedding in Colombia? No you can't and there is only one reason why. It's not because you're a swell guy and all the chicks love you. 

[dennislevy]

UC

I completely disagree with you...and that is a much better way to say it then ...that is the most wrong statement I ve ever read on p-l.

I ll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe you misunderstood me.

When I say its not that hard to separate sex from money...what Im saying is that for me it hasnt  been that hard to find women who are willing to have a relationship with me and dont expect money. I ve dated and bedded women from 30 to 52, I like mature, attractive to beautiful proud and smart women in their 40s, precisely because they dont expect money from me....


let me be precise,
1.  if I take a Colombian woman out two or three times and spend 100 bucks or less on meals and we hit the sheets on the third date that is not exchanging sex for money, that is just dating.
2. But if she walks me into a store  and I buy her a fancy dress or whatever becasue we had sex...that is different
3. And if I give her money as part of the dating arrangement, but we aren t living together  that is also different.

I only do the first.  


Recently I dated and had an intimate relationship with a beautiful woman in
Monteria, 41 one of the other regular posters saw her profile. She lives at home with her family, never married, no kids earns about 3,500,000 pesos a month and paid for a couple of meals when we were out together. What she wants is marriage and a baby, that s different then money.

Do you think she asked me for ANYTHING, she didnt ask me for anything!!!!!

I can t date and have an intimate realtionship with a 41 year beautiful American woman in the US, probably not but I can date attractive to beautiful women in their early to mid 40s here...and up to 50, all day long and it doesn t  cost me anything more then straight dating expenses. I can probably date women as young as 35 or 36 in a town like Armenia or Pereira or ibague and still not give money for sex. You may not believe me but i I m here to tell you, i do it...and I KNOW how to qualify  a woman.  

To imply that women go to bed with me solely because Im a gringo and I have money...is bull[snip]. There are women who think I am a swell  guy because I treat them WAY better then Colombianos...and usually that s all it takes.   I LIVE here, I know how to make the conquista mutual work,I speak the language and I ve submerged myself in this culture in places and ways that very few gringos are willing to do.  

As i ve posted, I m in Ayapel, 2 hours from Monteria , look it up on your map, i guarantee you that no gringo has been here in a LONG time. I know you ve been to monteria but Ayapel is.different!

I dont brag, I just tell it like it is.  

Dennis

[dennislevy]

Begin
You ve brought up an interesting question.
There are two very important ages for women in Colombia ....30 and 40.
Women with values of home and family seek a relationship with a man before they are 30, may marry because its the cultural thing to do.....and they seek stability.....and some years later the marriage dies for a numer of reasons...

40 is another crucial age, if a woman isnt married at that age and doesnt have a family, many yearn for that dream...and won t settle for anything less. Now whether they are realistic..is another question....but I respect any woman who pursues that dream.

Let me continue this in another post.

[AndyLee]

In my opinion there is a third important age for women in Colombia and that is 20.....if they can get past 20 without having 1 or 2 illegitimate kids then they have a better shot at marrying a good man. I have one good friend here who was 30 when she married her husband two years ago. They now have a beautiful son who just had his first birthday today. From what I can see, she is the exception to the rule. I have another friend who is 21 and she has a 6 year old son. You do the math. She tells me it is not possible for her to get a date with any man less than 40 years old, and often they are already married. She is a beautiful girl but none of the Colombian men want to marry her when she has a child. She is more typical of young Colombian women I think.

[dennislevy]

Andy
VERY good observation......you re right.