Can a One Woman Trip be successful?

[dennislevy]

there are honest one man women in Colombia, but there is also the standard Colombian joke.

How many people are involved in a long distance relationship between a couple?

At least four because both have other lovers!

I had two Colombian novias from my first two trips to Colombia, the first broke up with me on a misunderstanding that could have taken 5 minutes to resolve if she wasnt a nut job....and the second had a back up plan that I discovered.

Its one reason why I moved to Colombia, when I have a formal novia, I want to see her a smuch as possible and I don t  date other women.

[Researcher]

Who is way too up about dating?

I asked a simple question & I got a much better response from dennislevy.

Just to reiterate, my question was: How would you view the reverse role - A woman with her "back up" plans - dating a bunch of guys and you?

The answer could have been one of the below 2......with a little explanation.

1. There are guys who goes to LA with a "back up" plans and they date a bunch of women.........these guys think that it is okay for them to do so but at the same time it is not okay for the women to do the same. They want the woman to date them exclusively but they themselves can date as many women as they want.

2. Guys go to LA with a "back up" plan & they date many women in order to find that "special" lady. The women are also trying to find that "special" guy and date different guys. They are both free to date whomever they like UNTIL they become exclusive with each other.

  Hey KFC, if you already had the answers why did you ask?

  Researcher

[thekfc]

I would say all these women that men talk to on the internet for months on end without ever having met them are talking to women with back-up plans. So if a guy is dating on the internet, then he needs to accept the fact that the woman has a back-up plan. If I dated online, I would accept that, it would only be realistic. Now after having gone and met the girl, boy comes back home, boy has a girlfriend, I bet that many of these women still have a back-up plan, not all, don't get me wrong, just trying to judge the rational self-interest that a person has. I am just saying that the reality of long-distance international dating introduces infidelity risk into the scenario after a person becomes exclusive. I suppose a man could hire a private detective to trail his novia to confirm this, but I suspect most just go on faith that their novia is staying faithful without a back-up plan. Now, boy puts a ring on the finger, ok, no more back-up plans, boy brings wife to his country, no more back-up plans.

Since you quoted me then I will respond.

 I was not talking about talking or dating on the internet...the discussion is about back up plans when you visit.

And also, are you saying that ALL the women that men talk to on the internet? Even after chatting for months?
You did not say some or most...you said ALL. 

[thekfc]

  Hey KFC, if you already had the answers why did you ask?

  Researcher

Why not ask......other posters are giving their POV.

Also I am trying not to be boring.

[Colgando]

Since you quoted me then I will respond.

 I was not talking about talking or dating on the internet...the discussion is about back up plans when you visit.

And also, are you saying that ALL the women that men talk to on the internet? Even after chatting for months?
You did not say some or most...you said ALL. 

Ok, all is a strong word, many is better.

Ok, back up plans while you are in country, hmmm, the way I am going about this using agencies, I have to accept that she has a back plan for the whole time I am down there, that would be fair and just, since I too have a back-up plan.

When I no longer have a back-up plan, we are committed, then I would expect her to not have a back-up plan. So in this scenario, it appears boy goes and meets woman for first time with back-up plan, yes, I would say it would be just fine for the woman to have a back-up plan.

In the case of internet dating, for however many months before they meet, 3, 6, 9, 12, I think it is perfectly fine for both parties to have a back-up plan.

[Gato4Astrid]

They come back and the man talks to the agency worker about his schedule. The translator takes off and his date sits next to me at the computers and we start chatting in Spanish. I asked her if she had a committment with the man, she says oh no this was the first date, so I ask her to have coffee with me and she says sure, give me 10 minutes to check my emails.

After 10 minutes she stands up and says vamos and we walk 50 feet to Charlie s Place, talk for an hour and a half and I spent maybe 6,000 pesos, say 3 bucks. In 90 minutes, we found out that we weren t a fit. fine..... We said take care and a kiss on the cheek.

The man who was at that time 51 complained to the agency owner that I had taken his girl and since he had gone out with her and had paid for a nice meal, he had dibs! He was meeting other women but he didnt think that it was right that she shouid have a date so quickly! It said something bad about her character!!!!!

You are acting like stealing.  Like I mentioned before that you shouldn't date clients when you are working.  It is very unprofessional thing to do.  I can understand why he made complaint to agency owner.  

No wonder you do not work there anymore...... because you are being very unprofessional.  Do not deny that! 

[utopiacowboy]

I would say all these women that men talk to on the internet for months on end without ever having met them are talking to women with back-up plans. So if a guy is dating on the internet, then he needs to accept the fact that the woman has a back-up plan. If I dated online, I would accept that, it would only be realistic. Now after having gone and met the girl, boy comes back home, boy has a girlfriend, I bet that many of these women still have a back-up plan, not all, don't get me wrong, just trying to judge the rational self-interest that a person has. I am just saying that the reality of long-distance international dating introduces infidelity risk into the scenario after a person becomes exclusive. I suppose a man could hire a private detective to trail his novia to confirm this, but I suspect most just go on faith that their novia is staying faithful without a back-up plan. Now, boy puts a ring on the finger, ok, no more back-up plans, boy brings wife to his country, no more back-up plans.

I agree with you. If you are just on the internet level and have not met in person, you don't have a novio/novia relationship. As the kids would say you're just "talking". Later, after you've met and established the basis for a further relationship, that's different.

[robert angel]

Is it OK to have a back up plan for your back up plan?

It seems so ridiculi now when I read about other people worried that if things don't work out with the girl they're flying at great expense to see, that they'll be stuck in their hotel the whole time, watching foreign TV and eating room service.

But I actually had some what of the same worries my first trip overseas. My situation was different in that things between the lady I was really sweet on and me imploded just a month or so I was to visit her--my tickets already bought and non refundable.

As we were still friends, she honored her prior commitment to 'tour me' around, taking two weeks off of work, while telling me that if I decided to 'go my own way' there'd be no hard feelings. She made it pretty clear that there would be no 'fooley fooley'--just platonic friendship. This babe was the real deal --> "NBK"--> "never been kissed', sexy as all get out, smart and in her mid twenties.

If the saying 'The thinner the bone, the sweeter the meat' holds true to women--to look at this babe was to need a root canal. She has a great, witty mind, curves in all the right places, headlights way up high, with high beams that'd take your eyes out -- with legs so long, you had to stop at the knees to ask for directions. The whole package.

After a few days with her, I did 'go my own way' and years later, she and I are still distant friends. While I hoped she'd 'come around' to her senses and fall in love (and into bed) with me, alas, as I expected, it wasn't meant to be.

Having been warned, I was damn sure to have brought along some phone numbers and along the way--and as I imagine most guys here do also, over time I had acquired quite a few Yahoo IM 'friends' who I could call on over there if, as I knew was quite possible, 'Plan A' didn't work out.

Until you've decided a gal is 'THE ONE' I think it's only fair to cultivate female contacts--for one thing, it's a great way to get a feel for the women and their culture. For another, it just makes sense to me.

Yes, we should take the time and thought to give us a good chance that girl number one on our list is indeed 'THE ONE', but better to have additional contacts and not need them, than to need them and not have them, I figure....

[whitey]

This issue is really simple to me: unless you have BOTH agreed that you are in an exclusive relationship, both parties are free to date. 

Not all women or men will accept this, and that is their right.

[ignorante]

You are acting like stealing.  Like I mentioned before that you shouldn't date clients when you are working.  It is very unprofessional thing to do.  I can understand why he made complaint to agency owner.  

No wonder you do not work there anymore...... because you are being very unprofessional.  Do not deny that! 

  He said he was a client at the time, not an employee.

[dennislevy]

GatoAzul

You ve pissed me off.

I AM denying it. Read the post again and you deliberately cut out my sentence that I was a CLIENT .....its right below this post, jerkoff.

I was a paying CLIENT of LAI at that time, I started working at the agency some weeks later...I would never date agency clients if I was working at an agency.

The woman was a free agent, a paying client of the agency, so was I. She had every right to accept an invitation to coffee, even if she had just finished a first date with another man, and I had every right to ask her to coffee.

You ve told me that I was unprofessional,  that I wrote you that you could never get a Colombian woman, I challenged you to post my email in which I wrote that to you ...and you didn t do it, why.... because I never wrote it!  

You ve never backed up any attack you ve made on me with evidence.  

And you have once again proven that you are a venemous little S...T.  

I always try to be supportive of men who are making this journey, but I am making one exception. YOU....  Im here to tell you

This supposed girlfriend of yours  in Medellin....Astrid....if she is still with you and hasn t already come to her senses, she is not going to get on a plane to come to England,  she will be like every other foreign romance that you tried to have.....she will realize that there is something way off with you and dump you.  
´
Ánd yes, I know you re deaf so dont bitch that I m prejudiced against deaf people.

I m not talking about that.....I m talking about your venemous personality.

[dennislevy]

I m with Researcher on this 100%, there are just too many women in Colombia to be uptight aobut dating.

In 2008 just about the time I met Researcher, I was a client at LAI in Bogota. A man (who didnt speak Spanish) was at the agency for his first trip. He had a translator, so he and a woman and the translator go to lunch at an expensive restaurant in Santa Ana Mall, near the agency. he spent at least 60 dollars or 120,000 pesos for the three of them.

They come back and the man talks to the agency worker about his schedule. The translator takes off and his date sits next to me at the computers and we start chatting in Spanish. I asked her if she had a committment with the man, she says oh no this was the first date, so I ask her to have coffee with me and she says sure, give me 10 minutes to check my emails.

After 10 minutes she stands up and says vamos and we walk 50 feet to Charlie s Place, talk for an hour and a half and I spent maybe 6,000 pesos, say 3 bucks. In 90 minutes, we found out that we weren t a fit. fine..... We said take care and a kiss on the cheek.

The man who was at that time 51 complained to the agency owner that I had taken his girl and since he had gone out with her and had paid for a nice meal, he had dibs! He was meeting other women but he didnt think that it was right that she shouid have a date so quickly! It said something bad about her character!!!!!

I talked to him and what I wanted to say was.... look you re a immature, jealous [snip], but what I did say was...look she s not interested in me and I m not interested in her...go out with her again...

so he sulked for 2 or three days band and they went out maybe 3 or four times and nothing happened.

And that is  what SOME American men want to do, they want to make rules , to impose their standard of behavior and morality  on Colombian women and when the woman bails on him becaause he so cold and up tight, they don t  understand it.

[Researcher]

How would you view the reverse role - A woman with her "back up" plans - dating a bunch of guys and you?

     Here's what you asked KFC.You didn't say anything about Colombia,I don't know why you would separate dating in Colombia and dating in general.It's the same for me.


      Researcher

[Researcher]

This issue is really simple to me: unless you have BOTH agreed that you are in an exclusive relationship, both parties are free to date. 

Not all women or men will accept this, and that is their right.

    I agree Whitey. I always believed that until I had Mae a commitment with a woman whether or not she was dating someone else was none of my business. If we hadn't decided to be exclusive with one another I don't see any other way to view it.

   I really hoped the women I were meeting were seeing other guys. If they weren't that meant I hated to see that disappointed look on their face when they realized I wasn't interested in them.


          Researcher                         

[Researcher]

Also I am trying not to be boring.

    Glad to see you are trying to change your ways.
 

                                        
    



Researcher

[thekfc]

   Glad to see you are trying to change you ways.
 

                                        
    



Researcher

Trying to be like you.

[thekfc]

     Here's what you asked KFC.You didn't say anything about Colombia,I don't know why you would separate dating in Colombia and dating in general.It's the same for me.


      Researcher

Maybe you was thinking about dating in general - I wasn't. The topic & thread is about a guy "making the trip" and "one woman" vs "back up" plans; so my question was in reference to that.

Also if you go back and read my posts, you will find that I never mentioned Colombia - I said LA (Latin America).

[Researcher]

                                                        
                                          Trying to be like me?  We do kinda look alike.



                                            

                                            

   Researcher

[thekfc]

                                                        
                                          Trying to be like me?  We do kinda look alike.



                                            

                                            

   Researcher

But I am sexier than you & I am also finger licking good. 

[Researcher]

 

But I am sexier than you & I am also finger licking good. 

                                                   

[Gato4Astrid]

This supposed girlfriend of yours  in Medellin....Astrid....if she is still with you and hasn t already come to her senses, she is not going to get on a plane to come to England,  she will be like every other foreign romance that you tried to have.....she will realize that there is something way off with you and dump you.  

But you are living in Colombia and have dated almost (or more than) 240 women !!!!  

Tell that to these men who have their wives already living in USA/UK, etc.    As usual you are so negative and pessemetisic

[Gato4Astrid]

This supposed girlfriend of yours  in Medellin....Astrid....if she is still with you

What the F**k are you on about?  Waiting for us to break up?

[fathertime]

What the F**k are you on about?  Waiting for us to break up?

Come on Gato give dennislevy a break, there are a finate number of women in Colombia and he has been through most of them, or at least 240 according to your count.    He is merely doing some advance planning, in case his supply is completely exhausted, I am trying to time our trip to Baq. for a time when dennislevy is in Bogota out of concern he might sweep her right off her feet and into his derelict arms.   

BTW: How is your fiance's English progressing.  Hopefully that new English law won't create delay you for too much longer.

Fathertime!  

[dennislevy]

FT
As usual, GatoAzul has completely missed the point.

I am not interested in any MAN s girlfriend or wfe. I m fairly sure  there will inevitably be a break up between GatoAzul and the latest love of his life......  because he cant read situations and women.

And you have no nothing to fear from me with the morena godess, 16 is kinda young for me!

jejejejeje!!!!!!

Seriously, I know she is a mature young woman and she s a fairly new mom...... congratulations once again!

I hope to meet you and Mrs. FT some day, I ve heard  good things about you from Jamie.

Have a great day!
Dennis    

[Dan Las Vegas]

But you are living in Colombia and have dated almost (or more than) 240 women !!!!  

Tell that to these men who have their wives already living in USA/UK, etc.    As usual you are so negative and pessemetisic

Gato, why do you care how many women Dennis has dated???   Dennis seems to be quite happy  living in Colombia and having a great time.

Dan LV