hey everyone just a few questions

[opensource]

So just give you a little background.

I'm in my early 20s, finishing my degree up with good stability, but I'm interested in knowing what people have generally spent from first communication to moving their bride here - just a ballpark idea.

I've gotten a little sick of the attitudes of women here. I'm not bad looking, have dated the "gorgeous" girls, I've been in some really bad relationships, and I've gotten tired of how I feel our culture is. I'd like a girl with some real values and a different culture, abstinence is something I'd like but not a necessity.

I'm a little nervous about the idea of the whole mail order bride idea. It seems like there's more chance to get scammed than anything else Where do you actually begin to find a wife, are there sites that get the popular votes or any that people here can recommend personally?

Thanks for taking the time to read this!

[jm21-2]

What people spend vary a lot. From what people have posted here I'd say probably anywhere from $3,000 to $50,000 with a lot of people in the $5-10k range. That's not including vacation time. For me, vacation time is actually more expensive than the trips.

I think if you're of average or above intelligence and don't send anyone money you'll probably avoid most of the scammers.

There are lots of dating sites out there, as well as language learning sites, and you can meet people through chat programs as well (yahoo, MSN, skype, QQ, etc.). Depends on which country you're talking about.

[Capstone]

To be honest, it is not an inexpensive adventure that is for sure - but is well worth it in the end. Everyone's experience as far as expenses will be different of course because we all like to adhere to our own preferences while traveling, will take a different number of trips, etc. Guys that choose Asia as their destination to seek out a perspective bride generally incur somewhat higher expenses than guys that choose Latin America because the airfares will of course run higher.

I am not a budget traveler although I do fly coach class on International flights - I like to stay in nice hotels while traveling, eat good food and experience as many different things as I possibly can during a trip. I never kept a real tally of my expenses but I  estimate that I probably spent in the neighborhood of $25,000- $30,000 which would of course include not only things like airfares, hotel stays, train fares, food & drink but also things like the various visa expenses, wedding banquet in China, phone bills, gifts for family, etc. I made 3 trips to China prior to my fiancee (now wife) getting her visa and then of course I had to purchase her airfare from China to the US as well.

As far as you being worried about getting scammed, just use your head, never send money to someone who you haven't actually met, don't choose beauty over actual substance and never let perceived cultural differences cloud your better judgement - do those things and you should be ok. 

[opensource]

I have began looking at the Philippines just based on what I have read about the women that are raised there. Is there a better way to begin researching where I'd want to begin looking or would the Philippines be a good place to start?

[Ray]

I have began looking at the Philippines just based on what I have read about the women that are raised there. Is there a better way to begin researching where I'd want to begin looking or would the Philippines be a good place to start?

The Philippines is as good a place to start as any.

What I would recommend is to read everything about the Philippines that you can get your hands on. Study up on the culture, the geography, the climate, and the people.

 Seek out Filipinos in your area and ask questions. They will normally be very helpful

See if you can find any Filipino restaurants in your area and sample some of the popular dishes.

Get your passport and start saving for a vacation in the Philippines.

Contact a bunch of Filipina ladies and see where it leads…

Ray

[evoltnvii]

Personally i think the term "mail order bride" is insulting. The mentality that you are buying a woman like a pair of shoes from a catalog is a major reason why many people have a poor perception of international marriages in my opinion. Looking for a woman that is overseas because you want a woman with good values is great and i did the same for those reasons. But I would never insult her by calling her a MOB she would probably kick my ass if i did.

[Jeff S]

Welcome opensource. We're happy to have you here. As others have mentioned not getting scammed is not exactly rocket science. True green card sharks are an extremely rare commodity, especially in Asia, and anyone with a modicum of common sense can see right through the "my mother needs and operation, please send money..." typical scamming techniques.

I'm like Capstone and am not an economy traveler - I often travel business class as well and like nice hotels, good food and the like when traveling. We've had a few hitchhike to the airport type guys here, and they've done just fine. I have no idea how much I spent, but I did a lot of traveling when I was your age both on business and pleasure and never looked it as a single minded, focused wife hunt. This is an adventure! We had one guy post on the board, "What do you do during the day while your g/f is working?" Too many guys seem to look at this like it's some unpleasant chore that needs to get done in the least possible time and money.  Not me, I spent over 15 years dating women all over the world, and over two with the women that became my wife, over 4 trips - she here twice and me there twice. 

Before you pick a country based on your perception of the odds, or the costs, or what you think of the looks of the women, as Ray said, study the culture. That's what will make or break your relationship in the long haul. You're going to be a part of it the rest of your life whether you like it or not. Just something to think about before you dive-in headfirst. Take on this project as a learning experience.

Anyway, looking forward to your participation here.

 Jeff

[Dave H]

Hi opensource,

Welcome to P-L! Being of Scotish descent, I think I must be one of those "budget guys."  It's been 10 years, but I don't think that I spent more than 5 grand, meeting (visiting in the Philippines) and bringing my fiancee (wife now) to the US to marry.

Good luck,

Dave

[opensource]

Sorry it took me a while to respond. I've been so busy with finals coming up 

I've been trying to study up on the cultures by reading about it on various sites. I think I got it right thinking about the Philippines the first time around. I think their values fall pretty closely inline with how I feel about things. It's an interesting place.

I've tried to find filipinos locally and not even sure where I would look. We don't have any restaurants of that type around here. Any ideas?

[Dave H]

I've tried to find filipinos locally and not even sure where I would look. We don't have any restaurants of that type around here. Any ideas?

Hey opensource,

You can probably find many Filipina nurses at your local hospital...but please don't injure yourself to meet them!  Maybe visit someone who is in the hospital. Catholic Church masses and activities are also a good place to meet Filipinas. Some of these ladies may be single, but more importantly, they have single friends and family members. They will probably want to get to know you better before they offer to introduce you to someone. They can tell you of Filipino events and activities.

Dave

[Ray]

I've tried to find filipinos locally and not even sure where I would look. We don't have any restaurants of that type around here. Any ideas?

What area do you live in?

[opensource]

haha! If they're nurses at local hospitals I might just accidentally "fall off the roof" thanks for the suggestion Dave.

Ray, I live in west TN about an hour east of Memphis.

[Woody]

haha! If they're nurses at local hospitals I might just accidentally "fall off the roof" thanks for the suggestion Dave.

Ray, I live in west TN about an hour east of Memphis.

Humboldt? Three-way? Jackson? (I grew up in Jackson)

If you want, I can ask my sister if there are any Filipina nurses in the hospitals in the area.

[opensource]

Humboldt? Three-way? Jackson? (I grew up in Jackson)

If you want, I can ask my sister if there are any Filipina nurses in the hospitals in the area.

Three-Way, sure that'd be great! thanks!

[robert angel]

If you want to look locally, besides the Hospitals, as Dave pointed out, there might be Filipinas working as teachers in the school system where you live. Our school system hired 46 a while back.

[z_k_g]

opensource,

I live in Memphis, whats up dude!

I am also interested in Filipinas!!

i joined a website called date in asia, www.dateinasia.com its pretty decent but you will get 80% scammers, 10% ladyboys (homosexuals and transvestites) and 10% decent girls.  So you actually have to show interest and email literally 100 girls to get 10 decent.  You can use search to just look all of asia or just at Philippines, a region and a specific city so its pretty flexible.  They only provide 1 picture, which i dont like, but they have some decent profile info so you can see what the girls wrote.

It does takes a lot of time and you may chose a different route, but its FREE and you can at least start out with some dialog with the Filipinas!

Also, create a yahoo name, download yahoo chat and get a webcam, they all have yahoo and most have a webcam!  They love to chat and use the cams so you will be plenty busy!

As many members have stated you won't meet the provincial and small town babes as much this way, mostly the city girls from Cebu, Manila, Davao etc..  But you will meet many!

Advice:

1. Do not call them!  its expensive and they all will want you to call or text after the first chat!! Don't do it.  Its expensive and unnecessary!  If  you fine one that you like, and give it a month, then call her!!
2. Do send any money period.  If you are asked, end the conversation.
3. Don't tell them you love them!!  Filipina women are very romantic, they will profess love after 10 minutes and will want you to do the same.  Honesty, they are telling you the truth, they love you and its real, like a soap bubble, but alas the bubble pops and...its over. 
4. Be selective.  The women can be absolutely gorgeous, but I would avoid the ones with children because a lot of scams are based around women with kids and you don't want to complicate an already complicated situation.  Avoid the bar-girls, they may be nice but they sell sex for a living, enough said same conclusion as number 4.

I found 3 very nice filipina women using this method after chatting and emailing over 200. 

Finally, as stated on the forum, if you really want to meet Filipinas, its best to just take a vacation to the Philippines!!

If you have any questions, just ask!!

[opensource]

Robert,

I'll check around with some teacher friends and ask. I just don't believe there really is a large Filipino population in this area, but I'll check. Thanks!

Zulu,

M-town! If you're passing through Jackson, let me know and maybe we can chat!

Thanks for the link. That's exactly what I was looking for. Something to browse through and communicate without spending any money right now.

Few questions,

What personally made you look at the Philippines?

Is there a site similar to that one for South/Central America?

What is the verdict on the small town vs big city girls? I've heard mixed opinions on them?

Also, I've already looked at a few of the "ladyboys" and honestly, I didn't even know they were until I read it in their profile. I am definitely going to have to keep a sharper eye out apparently... I don't want one of the first questions I have to ask the girl to be are you female post-op? haha

[thekfc]

i joined a website called date in asia, www.dateinasia.com its pretty decent but you will get 80% scammers, 10% ladyboys (homosexuals and transvestites) and 10% decent girls. 

Only 10% decent girls? Why would you want to be on a site like that?      I think you should try a site where 80% are for decent girls & 10% scammers.   

[Bob_S]

2. Do send any money period.  If you are asked, end the conversation.

Typo, dude.  Do NOT send any money.  That's one of the cardinal rules of this process: Never send money to a woman you haven't met in person.  Always needs to be repeated for the newbies.

[z_k_g]

Typo, dude.  Do NOT send any money.  That's one of the cardinal rules of this process: Never send money to a woman you haven't met in person.  Always needs to be repeated for the newbies.

Yes! typo!!! 

Do NOT send money!!!

[z_k_g]

Only 10% decent girls? Why would you want to be on a site like that?      I think you should try a site where 80% are for decent girls & 10% scammers.   

Free website, need I say more!!  You get what you pay for!! 

And on the flip side, I found my girl on this website!  She is awesome so Free is not so bad sometimes!!

[thekfc]

You get what you pay for!! 

And on the flip side, I found my girl on this website!  She is awesome so Free is not so bad sometimes!!

Great!!!!! Just make sure 100% that she is the girl for you.

I chatted with many women who I thought that "she" was the one only to "move on" - and all the while the "one" was right in front my eyes all the time. I have to admit that at first I was "blinded" by beauty-all these "10s". I was even chatting with I was even chatting with a local province beauty pageant winner - I checked, she did win one of the province beauty contest - but in the end she wasn't what I was looking for.

Just take your time, keep chatting with your current girl, also get to know the people & culture a little more. It will be very helpful. I personally, is getting "re-educated" about the Philippines - I learn something new every single day.

The best thing I did when I went to the Philippines back in January was to stay in the immediate vicinity/village where my lady lives & not in a hotel - I learned sooooo much seeing, meeting & experiencing their every day life, something I would have never been able to do if I did stay in a hotel miles away from her.  On my next trip this June - I will be staying at the family's house with her.

Also read the different trip reports - they are all informative & every report is a bit different. Learning from the trip reports will help you especially when you take your first trip.

[Dave H]

Also, I've already looked at a few of the "ladyboys" and honestly, I didn't even know they were until I read it in their profile. I am definitely going to have to keep a sharper eye out apparently... I don't want one of the first questions I have to ask the girl to be are you female post-op? haha

Hey opensource,

I will be a judge at a Bayut (Bakla - gay) Filipino talent show next week...I 've already judged a few ladyboy beauty pagents. It should be very...er...interesting! 

Dave

[thekfc]

Hey opensource,

I will be a judge at a Bayut (Bakla - gay) Filipino talent show next week...I 've already judged a few ladyboy beauty pagents. It should be very...er...interesting! 

Dave

Have fun

[opensource]

Hey opensource,

I will be a judge at a Bayut (Bakla - gay) Filipino talent show next week...I 've already judged a few ladyboy beauty pagents. It should be very...er...interesting! 

Dave

LOL! How did you manage to get that gig?

I would hope not just volunteering.... 

That DateInAsia site has been great so far. I've been talking to a few girls so far. My inbox on that site has been blowing up. It's like fish in a barrel! Though, the scammers seem to be fairly easy to pick out.. especially when some of the first messages I am getting from girls on the site are, "I love you" ... I might respond just to humor myself