hey everyone just a few questions

[thekfc]

LOL! How did you manage to get that gig?

I would hope not just volunteering....  

This is his "reward" for being over 5' 5".  

That DateInAsia site has been great so far. I've been talking to a few girls so far. My inbox on that site has been blowing up. It's like fish in a barrel! Though, the scammers seem to be fairly easy to pick out.. especially when some of the first messages I am getting from girls on the site are, "I love you" ... I might respond just to humor myself

Some are easy to spot & some are more "professionals" in the way they try to scam, wait until you are chatting for a while - you will encounter the more "professional" ones.  You will be chatting with a lady for a while & all of a sudden....bam....she hit you for something.

[z_k_g]

Robert,
Few questions,

What personally made you look at the Philippines?

Is there a site similar to that one for South/Central America?

What is the verdict on the small town vs big city girls? I've heard mixed opinions on them?

I looked in the Philippines because:

1. They speak English
2. Very high respect for Americans
3. I have friends married to Filipinas and was impressed by their dedication, focus on family, intelligence, dedication and respect for their husband.
4. I may want to retire and move to Philippines- Cost of living, weather and beautiful country.

I am not familiar with the Latin America sites.

My girl is from the countryside near Tagbilaran City her father is a farmer. 

I have chatted with women from Manila, Davao and Cebu City.  The big city girls are a bit more aggressive and have had more contact with foreign men and have very good english skills!   They pretty much know what they want and have a set agenda at least this has been my experience. This is not all bad mind you, but they chat a lot, have more than one guy they are chatting with and are pretty much playing the numbers.  You still may end up with a nice girl but just gotta be careful that their agenda is a good agenda not only for her but for you also!

The provincial women I have chatted with are typically a bit more simple and shy.  I really don't want to over generalize because the phil Islands is a large place and the provinces, languages and ethnicities are so diverse that blanket statements would be foolish.  I venture to say in general that the provincials I chatted with (probably over 50 from pretty much every province) seemed very reserved, shy and clueless about how to engage in conversation with a foreigner over a long period of time.  Their english was passable, but because they had limited english skills and rarely spoke english on a daily basis, conversing with them can be a challenge and the sophistication and subtlety of the conversation is very limited.  Now, if your sweetie is a provincial college student, you are in luck!!  All of their studies are in english and you can have a pretty decent dialog, just don't use slang and excessive colloquial terms and you will be fine.

I have discovered that a lot of provincial girls are honest virgins, whereas city girls are a bit more experienced!  This can be good or bad depending on your libido.  You don't want to be the foreigner that takes the provincial girls virginity and not marry her!!  This is very bad because she saves this for her future husband, they guard this with much fervor!  She will be seen badly in her village (word travels fast) and in some cases as damaged goods and hurt her future chances with Filipino guys!  So if you like a little fun prior to marriage, then city girls are probably better in this respect because you can both share benefits, ; and if it doesn't work out no harm no foul!

Disclaimer, I haven't been to Phil Islands yet, just chatted with quite a few!! 

More experienced members  please read, comment and correct!!

[thekfc]

  have more than one guy they are chatting with and are pretty much playing the numbers.

I think it is called "Filtering".
We all did that at one time - chatted with a few ladies, filtering out the "bad" ones to find the "right" one.

  I really don't want to over generalize because the phil Islands is a large place and the provinces, languages and ethnicities are so diverse that blanket statements would be foolish.

Yes, it would be - foolish.

I venture to say in general that the provincials I chatted with (probably over 50 from pretty much every province) seemed very reserved, shy and clueless about how to engage in conversation with a foreigner over a long period of time.  Their english was passable, but because they had limited english skills and rarely spoke english on a daily basis, conversing with them can be a challenge and the sophistication and subtlety of the conversation is very limited. 

Now, if your sweetie is a provincial college student, you are in luck!!  All of their studies are in english and you can have a pretty decent dialog, just don't use slang and excessive colloquial terms and you will be fine.

I have discovered that a lot of provincial girls are honest virgins, whereas city girls are a bit more experienced! This can be good or bad depending on your libido.  You don't want to be the foreigner that takes the provincial girls virginity and not marry her!!  This is very bad because she saves this for her future husband, they guard this with much fervor!  She will be seen badly in her village (word travels fast) and in some cases as damaged goods and hurt her future chances with Filipino guys!

So if you like a little fun prior to marriage, then city girls are probably better in this respect because you can both share benefits, ; and if it doesn't work out no harm no foul!

Please do A LOT more research about the Philippines, about their culture, people, way of life, etc,. Read the archives, the different posts, the trip reports.
On some of these points - I think that you have the wrong impression about the people of the Philippines. It is a completely different culture, way of thinking, way of life than what you are use to in America.


Cultural shock  - are you ready for that?

[Bob_S]

LOL! How did you manage to get that gig?

I would hope not just volunteering.... 

Don't encourage him, you do NOT want him posting photos.

[z_k_g]

I think it is called "Filtering".
We all did that at one time - chatted with a few ladies, filtering out the "bad" ones to find the "right" one.
Yes, it would be - foolish.
 





Please do A LOT more research about the Philippines, about their culture, people, way of life, etc,. Read the archives, the different posts, the trip reports.
On some of these points - I think that you have the wrong impression about the people of the Philippines. It is a completely different culture, way of thinking, way of life than what you are use to in America.


Cultural shock  - are you ready for that?

Read what I wrote please!

Everything I said is from MY FIRSTHAND experience in the last 3 months with chatting women from all over the Philippines.  My comments were not from "an impression" or from reading posts.  Its from chatting and cam for hundreds of hours with all types filipinas from all over the Islands.  I was just sharing what I learned.

Just some background on me.  I am a new member of this forum but my experience with Asia spans more than 20 years and is very diverse.

I have many many Asian friends, chinese, koreans, japanese and viet and have dated many from the far east and embraced their cultures. I took judo for 10 years, and have studied Hun Gar Kung Fu and its chinese heritage.  I am well read on history and have been studying the rich history of the Philippines.  My roommate in college was from India and my best friend (from when I was 5 years old) was Indian from Calcutta and I spent a lot of time with his family.  I have a pretty good grasp of many Asian cultures having done business with many Asians and traveled to Vietnam on business and pleasure.  Also, one of my best friends mom is from Manila and my cousin married a half filipina and I grew up appreciating those relationships.

Please read Budda's parable about the elephant and the blind monks from Tittha sutta in Udana (Pali canon).  Essentially, in that story, they all were looking at the exact same animal at the same time but described something completely different.  All were telling the truth!

It is more productive to share what YOU have learned instead of dismissing what I have learned. 

[thekfc]

Read what I wrote please!

Everything I said is from MY FIRSTHAND experience in the last 3 months with chatting women from all over the Philippines.  My comments were not from "an impression" or from reading posts.  Its from chatting and cam for hundreds of hours with all types filipinas from all over the Islands.  I was just sharing what I learned.

I read what you wrote - maybe I mis-read. We just have a "different experience"  with the people we chatted with & what we learned.

Just some background on me.  I am a new member of this forum but my experience with Asia spans more than 20 years and is very diverse.

My experience with with Asia also span a long time - actually most of my life. I spoke Korean as a kid & also had a learning knowledge of Hanja. I lost most of what I knew as I stop using them, but hearing people talk - some of it do come back to me..

I have many many Asian friends, chinese, koreans, japanese and viet and have dated many from the far east and embraced their cultures.

I also have friends from all over Asian, I have a friend or had a  classmate from  almost every country in Asia. One of my HK friends invited me to come to HK for the Mid-Autumn Festival.

I took judo for 10 years, and have studied Hun Gar Kung Fu and its chinese heritage.

I am also into martial arts.  I started studying  Taekwondo when I was about 7yrs old - that was about 35yrs ago. The same person who taught me Taekwondo taught me how to speak the Korean language.  I also studied (off & on) Wing Chun & Muay Thai for 20+ years. I have meet Hwang Jang Li, John Liu & Tao-liang Tan in person to name a few. My knickname Thekfc is The Kung Fu Commissioner.

Please read Budda's parable about the elephant and the blind monks from Tittha sutta in Udana (Pali canon).  Essentially, in that story, they all were looking at the exact same animal at the same time but described something completely different.  All were telling the truth!

I read that when I started studying Wing Chun - one of my favorite quotes from it is:
Some recluses and brahmans, so called, Are deeply attached to their own views; People who only see one side of things Engage in quarrels and disputes.

It is more productive to share what YOU have learned instead of dismissing what I have learned.  

We are just having a difference of opinion. We have a different "experience chatting. What do you want to know?

Something that I have learn is that almost every country in Asia is different - their food, way of life, way of thinking, culture. Most of the things I thought that I knew about the Philippines - I had to "throw them out".  

I am mobile & about to go underground - I will continue when I get a chance.

[thekfc]

Just a few notes:
I have "seriously" chatted with filipinas trying to find the "right one" for over a year - casually longer.  Also I have filipino co-workers/former co-workers who I talked to,  I have a half-filipino co-worker whose uncle is a senator (I think that is the right word) in Manila & is running for re-election, his grandpa was also in politics (if I mention the surname, a few people here will know the senator).  I also have/had many penpals including a martial artist with whom I exchange ideas with. Also I view chatting with penpals (friends) & chatting with a potential mate are two completely different things - people sometimes get them mixed-up.

My view on all these contacts that I had/have with Filipinos - I do not count them as experience - in my opinion the only experience that I have had with PI was when I visited it this pass January. With all the people that I "knew", I am now seeing that I could have gone the route of having one of them introduce me to a nice Filipina, but that was then & this is now.

The martial arts penpal who I "exchange ideas with" - he give me "info" on Eskrima & I give him different info about NYC, food, movies, etc,- we were both online last night & I asked him this question "if a foreigner come to the Philippines, took your sister or another female member virginity & then decided to dump her, how would you feel?" His exact response was "that foreigner would not make in out of the Philippines alive - in fact they would not even find his body."  

When I was in the Philippines, my girl had some drop dead gorgeous friends in the mid 20s. They are born & raised in Manila, so they are 'city girls" but they would not engage in any conversation with foreigners. Some of them would not say hi to me until I say hi first. One of them I was helping downloading stuff on her cell phone - she would not talk with me unless I was leading the conversation. As you may already know, most of these woman want a guy to make the first contact - even one of my girl's older sister who have traveled all over Asia would not make the first "move", instead she would buzz me & then I would start chatting with her.
My girl (we are engage) still want me to lead most conversation - she always tells me "I was waiting for you".  
My girl is currently sick - heat related, she had one of her friends text me to tell me that she is sick, explained the situation to me & told me not to worry. She is tutoring the friend's daughter.

As for the english skills of the Philippines people I encounter, I would say it is mostly the same - both in Manila & in the province. The best english speaker I encountered other than my girl's 3rd sister & a few filipino people in the US Embassy in Manila was in Pangasinan. If you would talk to that elderly lady on the phone - you would think that she is a native english speaker.
Just about all the people I meet in Pangasinan spoke english, even my girl 5yrs old cousin, the difference was some of their english skills were better than others. Also their "english" & our "english" are a bit different - something we have to keep in mind.

Two other points that you said that I had different "experience" as you - we all have different experiences - I am just pointing these out:

1. Do not call them!  its expensive and they all will want you to call or text after the first chat!! Don't do it.  Its expensive and unnecessary!  If  you fine one that you like, and give it a month, then call her!!

In my view it is necessary to call them after the first few contacts, they want to hear your voice, they want to know if you are serious or not, they want to make sure that you are not a sick bastard who is trying to play them or getting off chatting with them - yes women do get scam too, men are not the only ones. It is expensive but necessary - so is the whole process over time & if you are not willing to spend the money then.....
  

4. Be selective.  The women can be absolutely gorgeous, but I would avoid the ones with children because a lot of scams are based around women with kids and you don't want to complicate an already complicated situation.

Yes, you have to be selective & you should but to say that "a lot of scams are based around women with children?" my "experience" is quite the opposite. If things didn't work out with my current lady, my next choice would have been a wonderful lady with a young child.
 
Everyday I talk to Ahya & her family - I learn something new. The same goes true for everyday I come to this forum.

It is not always about our experience but also our way of thinking as well as our attitude & our willingness to learn & to implement what we learn & doing it in a safe and respectful manner.

We are all here to learn, to share ideas, to disagree, some of us just go about it differently or express our views differently.

[Ray]

I looked in the Philippines because:

I may want to retire and move to Philippines- Cost of living, weather and beautiful country.

Hi zulu,

Before you you say you like the weather, you better wait until you have spent time there, both in the summer and the typoon season... 

Ray

[z_k_g]

  Yes, you have to be selective & you should but to say that "a lot of scams are based around women with children?" my "experience" is quite the opposite. If things didn't work out with my current lady, my next choice would have been a wonderful lady with a young child.

Kfc, why would you chose to date a woman with children when there are so many single women in Phil Islands?  What are the benefits and opinion on marrying a filipina with children, what are the negatives?

I ask because ironically, I have that same situation.  Another young filipina from Cagayan De Oro, that I chatted with has a 1 year old.  I told her that I decided to just be friends and chat with her because I wanted my own children.  She is very nice and will make someone a great wife, but I "think" her ex and father's child would just complicate matters as I stated in my earlier post.  I may be wrong about this!!  Some insight please!

[z_k_g]

Hi zulu,

Before you you say you like the weather, you better wait until you have spent time there, both in the summer and the typoon season... 

Ray

Ray, I grew up in Memphis TN and in Miss on the farm.  Its very very hot here during the summer, 100-110 all summer, lots of sun and the humidity makes it feel like 120 in the shade, a hot sauna for 5 months out of the year!  I'm used to all types of bugs, snakes and varmits having grown up on a farm and mosquitoes in Memphis and the deep south in general are pretty much small birds of prey!! 

From what I understand the Phil is like that pretty much year around except during the rainy season which just makes thing worse.