trip so far

[jm21-2]

Sitting around waiting at the Narita airport for my flight to Qingdao and thought I'd shoot off some e-mails and make a post here as long as I have some spare time.

Quick notes on airports:
Vancouver sucks. Got taken aside and grilled by customs twice (national origin profililng?) and they are slow as hell.

Narita: nothing opens until at least 7:30 so no point in arriving early. It's a pretty smooth process anyways and great service.

So, I got into Japan last night tired as hell, flight was late, I calculated the times wrong so got in later than I was expecting and needed to book a hotel, etc...so was planning on missing Tokyo and more than a little let down. A guy at the tourist center mentioned a summer festival while I was booking my hotel, so I figured I'd check out naritasan, look into the festival, and pick up some supplies I had forgotten. Turns out I checked into my hotel about 30 minutes before the grand finale of the naritasan summer festival began. Met a photo journalist who was covering it who was from Seattle and he showed me all the good spots to watch. Was a blast. Those guys really go all out. Couple teams of about 150-200 people pulling these big 2-story carts that have bands in them, and going round and round the circuit doing performances/dances. Pretty good effort to have ~150 pullers/dancers all coordinated and takes some stamina to go at it for 3+ hours. Got a lot of pictures but no time or way to upload them now. There was a group of small girls dressed up as Buddhist monks trooping along clanging their staffs to a tune that was really cool, but I never got a clean shot. Al;l shots with my phone too since I left my camera at home by accident.

Of course, then I realized the map I got from my hotel was completely innacurate and spent a good deal of time trying to coordinate it with a tourist map trying to figure out where the hell my hotel was, and having to stop every hundred feet for a troop of folks in the parade/festival. And I didn't exchange currency at the airport so I was yen-less which sucked. Apparently mastercard is not nearly as useful in Japan as it is in America as well. Missed out on all those traditional summer festival stands.

So, the flight was probably a bad choice at any other day, but I got damn lucky. Everyone was wrapped up in the festival so I was a bit of an outsider and ignored though, but ah well.

[bcc_1_2]

glad you had a nice layover. I'm looking forward to this report. I'm already wondering if you've been introduced to your penpal's family yet.

[Capstone]

Sounds great so far and what great luck to have stumbled upon the festival in Japan. Hopefully that it is a good omen and things will work out great for you all the way around on this trip. Keep us updated if you can.

[Ray]

You left your camera at home?

Oh boy, wait until Stephen finds out!  You're in big trouble now... 

Have a good trip!

Ray

[Dave H]

Hey jm21-2,

It's a good thing it wasn't one of those Japanese fertility festivals! They might have made you participate.   In which case, it is always better to GIVE than receive!!!   

Have a great trip!

Dave

[Bob_S]

These types of festivals always seem to be designed to make the visiting foreigners look goofy.

[Swisskid]

Are you sure that's the fertility festival and not a gay pride parade?  Those prosthetic penises look like they've been packing something other than "fertile" areas. 

[Dave H]

Those prosthetic penises look like they've been packing something other than "fertile" areas. 

Hey Swisskid,

It looks like they have been bumping dicks...er I mean cock fighting. 

Dave

[stevjulietb]

LOL Dave,

I had a bad dream last night due to that foto?  Attack of the giante dicks, I slept with the cheeks tight.

Steveb

[piglett]

Are you sure that's the fertility festival and not a gay pride parade?  Those prosthetic penises look like they've been packing something other than "fertile" areas. 

HE HE HE that's funny

[jm21-2]

Hoo boy...what a trip...not sure where to begin. Just at the airport with some spare time before my flight from vancouver to seattle (only 2 hours to get through customs! Yay Vancouver!) so thought I'd post a bit. I got an emergency e-mail from work and way behind now so probably working some long hours the next few days and won't be able to post much after I get home.

The area:
Qingdao is a bit of a tourist town, especially since it was the sailing base for the olympics. I got the impression that a few years ago there wasn't a whole lot of development there but things have changed dramatically the last couple years. There was construction everywhere you looked. Also a lot of pollution. You can barely see the blue in the sky most days.

It's a great place to visit for someone from the Northwest. They really love their beer, and you can even get some stouts and darker beers. Tsingtao is good enough though. Most of the guys I met there drink a lot of beer and want you to drink with them. People kept offering me beer with my breakfast and I had to turn them down...not much of a beer with breakfast guy...and all the relatives wanted me to match them beer for beer.

Which I guss is a good segway to health concerns. I basically ate like a local and hte only time I got sick was chugging some stouts and drinking a ton of spicy food with my girl's brother-in-law. That man has an iron stomach. I'm pretty sure it was the combination of stout beer and spicy food that got me and not something wrong with the food.

Things aren't very expensive, but not as cheap as I thought they would be. A nice dinner for 2 is maybe a bit over 100RMB, about $15 or so. You can go cheaper and still get good food though. However, everyone seems to order (or cook) about 2-3 times as much as they can possibly eat.

Which brings me to "beware Chinese hospitality." By the time I left I thought if I heard "chin'chu" (please eat more) one more time I'd puke.  They stuff you with food and then want you to eat more and more. I don't usually eat a whole lot and was constantly stuffed beyond belief.

I forgot my camera but she took a lot of pictures and before I left I uploaded a lot to photobucket at an internet cafe.

Not sure what everyone is interested in and running out of ideas for now, so...

The girl:
So, where to begin...I had cold feet about meeting the girl because she kept saying she gained a lot of weight and she sent me a pic that wasn't very flattering. I arrived at the airport, got thoroughly checked for H1N1, and she wasn't there when I got out. Gave her a call and she was waiting on her brother to give her a ride. When we met she looked pretty chunky because of the dress she was in, but I thought "what the hell, I'll just have a nice vacation." Got stuffed by her mom for lunch, then stuffed by her brother-in-law for dinner, then crashed at her sister's/brother-in-law's place. I gather that being invited to her relative's house is a pretty big deal but wasn't really thinking about it at the time. We spent the next couple days staying with her aunt/uncle in Qingdao.

By the third day she had changed clothes to something that fit her better and let her hair down a bit and I realized she was actually quite good looking, just didn't really know how to dress for a guy. I was really starting to warm up by the 4th day but then she exploded on me because I kept wanting to go sight-seeing rather than spend time with her family. Basically she thought I was using her as a free translator. We had a long talk (not really an argument because we never raised our voice) and she figured the best solution was for me to pay her as a translator. I didn't like the idea at all and was more than a little pissed, but thought we'd try it and see how it goes. We had a great afternoon the day after and after a couple beers that evening she cried and talked about even though she treated me like crap I treated her well and I was a good guy, etc....

To be continued...my time on the computer is up.

[sean126]

aw man!  I was just getting into your story.

[bcc_1_2]

well JM I look forward to more. sounds like everything didn't go off without a hitch.. but overall hopefully a good experience.

It sounds like we might have been right about your girl and her family. going with what i've learned from my chinese friend they were thinking much more seriously about the relationship (courting) than you were.

Again this is just my interpetation, but it sounded like your girl was confused by you wanting to go sight seeing (and do touristy stuff) when she was thinking courtship (and marriage)... and doing things with family. Maybe she tested you by offering to be your translator... because she was trying to figure out how serious you were about her.

Sounds like you were of course a gentlemen throughout the trip though. Must have left her wondering what the deal was. She may have eventually assumed it was a cultural difference (which of course is true) and figured she ruined her chances with you by her behavior. 

And I don't blame you at all for your remarks on her physical aspects. Beauty doesn't last forever... so you definiately should pick a chick by her inner beauty... but in all honestly I can tell you I'm at least starting out with a stunner. Call me shallow.

[piglett]

It sounds like we might have been right about your girl and her family. going with what i've learned from my chinese friend they were thinking much more seriously about the relationship (courting) than you were.
Again this is just my interpetation, but it sounded like your girl was confused by you wanting to go sight seeing (and do touristy stuff) when she was thinking courtship (and marriage)... and doing things with family. Maybe she tested you by offering to be your translator... because she was trying to figure out how serious you were about her.
Sounds like you were of course a gentlemen throughout the trip though. Must have left her wondering what the deal was. She may have eventually assumed it was a cultural difference (which of course is true) and figured she ruined her chances with you by her behavior. 
And I don't blame you at all for your remarks on her physical aspects. Beauty doesn't last forever... so you definiately should pick a chick by her inner beauty... but in all honestly I can tell you I'm at least starting out with a stunner. Call me shallow.

I think both are important to start out with, both inner & outer beauty
I'm not how sure interested i would be with starting out with a chunky chick
after all it is rare for a woman to get smaller, they almost always get  B I G G E R
IMHO
piglett

[jm21-2]

Well, too tired to work, too hot to sleep, so might as well finish this off. On a side note, I managed to get to my car after ~15 hours in airports and planes just in time for rush hour traffic. Gotta think about timing issues a bit more from now on....

Some things I thought of on the way back that I forgot to mention:

Chinese drivers are freaking nuts. I don't know why they even bother painting lines on the roads there since no one obeys them whatsoever. The cops just sit there and watch it all. I guess they think if they pull one person over they have to pull everyone over. Oh, and drinking and driving seems to be the norm in Qingdao rather than a horrible thing.

All the people I met were extremely relaxed/laid back. Very friendly, very hospitable.

As a westerner you're a bit of a sight in a small Chinese city. I had several people want to take pictures with me. If you are holding hands wiht a Chinese girl, EVERYONE will be watching you and commenting.

At least in Qingdao, you usually don't have your own plate. You all eat out of the serving dishes as you will and throw the trash on the table. If you're really serious about sanitation this might be a problem for you.

Chinese girls may actually be a year younger than they say they are (in western terms) because of the differences between the lunar and gregorian calendars.

Bcc,

Yes, you're absolutely right. Especially her mom. Her family (again, especially her mom) was very pushy and constantly called her when we were out. She's an aged 24yo and needs to get married!

I felt totally shallow thinking "wow, our personalities fit together great, but damn there are a lot of pretty girls in Qingdao," but that's not something I can help. However, I do think that a lot of girls are actually diamonds in the rough and just don't pay much attention to their appearances normally. Just imho here but I think the difference between a 7 and a 10 is mostly artificial...make-up, wearing the right clothing, etc. I didn't think she was very attractive at all when we first met. It's amazing what a relatively small change of clothes and hairstyle will do to some girls. Adn I think it's been said here before, a 7 with a great personality will seem more like a 9 while a 9 with a [snip]ty personality will seem like a 5. If you like a girl you'll find her good points, if you don't like her all her flaws will stand out.

I think your other questions will be answered a bit if I finish the story, so....

After a few beers she really opened up and we had a heart to heart chat, then she finally wanted to get a little physical in the cab home. When we got back we talked for several hours about what we were thinking, what our expectations were, etc., being very honest with each other. She definitely had high hopes I was coming there as a boyfriend, but I was cautious at first because she's very reserved and I didn't know if she was really my type as far as looks go. Eventually I got her to understand that me spending a lot of money and taking time off work to visit a small city in China was not just for vacation.

Of course, the next day she couldn't remember most of this. At lunch we went out to a Chinese-Churrasco restaurant (yes, Chinese-Churrasco) that she liked that was all-you-can-drink more-than-you-can-possibly-eat. We talked some more pretty seriously and afterwards, with a couple mugs of beer in me, we were walking down the street and I just said "you want to try being boyfriend/girlfriend and see how it works out?" She said yes, I put my arm around her shoulder, and basically from there things did a complete reversal. All of a sudden she was trying to get away from her family so we could spend more time alone, and she said she wished she had never got them involved in the first place.

Things went extremely well from there for the most part. There were some problems but nothing really big. She wanted me to buy her some gifts for her and her family which I thought seemed pretty expensive for China, but I slowly pieced together that her family lived a humble lifestyle but was actually very well-to-do for China. Going out to dinner with her cousin really drove that home, with a private room at a very nice restaurant and 3 waitstaff hovering around. Then the second to last day her brother-in-law was driving his work truck and hit a tree that had fallen over in a storm which was a bit of a curve ball, but luckily he just hurt his arm and back a little. Her mom wanted to see me off at the airport and she really didn't want her mom to be there and interfere, but luckily her mom called the wrong type of taxi (only govt taxis can go to the airport) so we were saved there and ended things on a high note.

I think I'll try going back during the Qingdao beer festival in late September and see what happens. You know, without going into too much detail, we both have personalities that are very difficult to deal with but for whatever reason our personalities seemed to off-set each other in a lot of ways and we seem to understand each other very well. I've never been able to just be myself with a girl, completely comfortable, and have a good time with her.

[Jeff S]

Some things I thought of on the way back that I forgot to mention:

Chinese drivers are freaking nuts. I don't know why they even bother painting lines on the roads there since no one obeys them whatsoever. The cops just sit there and watch it all. I guess they think if they pull one person over they have to pull everyone over. Oh, and drinking and driving seems to be the norm in Qingdao rather than a horrible thing.

All the people I met were extremely relaxed/laid back. Very friendly, very hospitable.

As a westerner you're a bit of a sight in a small Chinese city. I had several people want to take pictures with me. If you are holding hands wiht a Chinese girl, EVERYONE will be watching you and commenting.

At least in Qingdao, you usually don't have your own plate. You all eat out of the serving dishes as you will and throw the trash on the table. If you're really serious about sanitation this might be a problem for you.

Chinese girls may actually be a year younger than they say they are (in western terms) because of the differences between the lunar and gregorian calendars.

Welcome to Asia. Really the only different thing in Japan is the cleanliness part. Japanese are appalled at sanitary conditions in China and would NEVER eat out of a communal plate or dish without using "hostess hashi" (serving utensils) or at the very worst, flipping their chopsticks end to end so that the part that goes in your mouth never touches the communal food.

Last time I was in Ginza waiting for my wife and daughter outside a tea shop - three college age, very attractive girls wanted to take pictures with me. I obliged them and f I was quicker thinking should have given them my card or at least email and asked for copies.

Sounds like you had an interesting time. What was your overall impression. Better, worse, about what you expected? Any other surprises?

[piglett]

This sounds like an interesting situation
Have you posted any of your pictures yet?

[jm21-2]

Sounds like you had an interesting time. What was your overall impression. Better, worse, about what you expected? Any other surprises?

Hm, maybe not better or worse, just so different from the US. I didn't think Japan was all that different, but was just in Narita. The pollution and general uncleanliness of China were a lot more pronounced than expected, but the people were much more laid back and friendly than I thought they would be.

Lots of little things were surprising, but I can't think of them all off the top of my head. The pollution was really bad in China. Some huge expensive yachts. No sort of separate tub or stall for showering in in China. Chinese girls wearing tight shorts that show all their legs is perfectly fine, but showing the very top of their breasts with a modestly cut blouse is slutty. The Chinese girls I met were definitely NOT submissive in any way. A lot of Chinese husbands do some sort of housework. The huge amount of small businesses in China/percentage of people who run their own business. The pushiness of Chinese salesman (especially when they see a foreigner) and that any sale seems to take about 20-30 minutes. The people scrimp and save on everything then go out and buy a really expensive dinner. The huge difference in prices between say a local store and a department store. Chinese houses seem to look like crap from the outside but some really beautiful work inside. The combination of the very old, funky '60s or '70s stuff, and the ultra-modern (e.g. funky LED lighting in a centuries-old monastery). Buddhist monks make a good salary, I believe paid for by the government that I always thought didn't like religion. That you have to pay to get into basically all the parks and historic sites, and usually a fairly large amount. Fast food restaurants like McDonalds and Pizza hut are often huge 2-3 story affairs. Shrimp and crab brains are not nearly as bad to eat as I thought they would be. I'm sure there's a lot more but I can't think of them off the top of my head.

One thing I kept thinking was how a lot of people here at least used to say "you know, there are children starving in China," when a kid doesn't eat his/her food. If anything Chinese people seem to stuff themselves far more than Americans. Just better/fresher/less processed food.

I think one of the moments that was a big seller for me and more than a bit surprising was when her brother-in-law went out to an internet cafe to drink and play games for the night and came stumbling back in around 8am or so. I was like "oh [snip], he's gonna catch hell," but his wife just laughed at him for being sick/stumbling around. I said in the US his wife would kick his butt and she was like "why? It's his day off and he should be able to have a good time."

Piglett,

All of the pics are of me or her and not sure I want to post them publicly. I'd have to re-organize them a lot as well.

[Jeff S]

Well, you certainly caught the flavor of the place. That's Asia - more about substance than appearances. People much prefer to spend money on good times than on stuff - it's always about the relationships - not the ownership. Just before I made my first trip to the far east - in the mid 70s, someone told me that if you go to Europe (and I had) it's just like the US except older, while when you go to Asia EVERYTHING is different - and they were sure right.

I'm guessing from your comments here and in previous posts, you probably thought Buddhism was just another form of Semitic religion - believing in and praying to a different deity in the same way as Western religions. It's definitely not - and if you're going to attempt to understand the culture, you should look into it a bit, strictly from an academic viewpoint. Buddhism is about yourself and how to realize your own potential - here and now, not preparing for an uncertain future. I don't mean to turn this into a discussion about religion, just trying to point out that if you want to interact with Eastern cultures, you can't help but interact with the Asian philosophies of life.

Glad also to hear that you were able to come to terms with your girlfriend to give things a try and see how it turned out. It sounds like you set the basis for some excellent communication. Also happy you're planning to go back.

[Dave H]

Hey jm21-2,

Did you bring home any panda poop souvenirs? 

Dave

[jm21-2]

I guess what's been going through my mind is why do I always get attracted to difficult/complicated women? Seems like every girl I've ever been attracted to has been about as complicated as possible. I wonder why I can't seem to be able to settle down with some quiet, young, beautiful girl who likes to cook and is low maintenance. I think I'd be bored out of my mind though. I can't really get into a girl unless I'm able to spar wits with her.

[Capstone]

JM,

Welcome Back!

It sounds as though that you had a good/interesting time and that things turned out to be productive in the girl department - I knew that since she wanted to introduce you to her parents then she was very interested in you. China is certainly different and full of contradictions and it is great that you finally got to experience it first hand!!

The Chinese girls I met were definitely NOT submissive in any way.

I love this quote because I don't think that there is a submissive girl in all of China - well at least I have never come across one. Just one of those myths that westerners tend to have stuck in their minds. LOL!!!
 

One thing I kept thinking was how a lot of people here at least used to say "you know, there are children starving in China," when a kid doesn't eat his/her food. If anything Chinese people seem to stuff themselves far more than Americans. Just better/fresher/less processed food.

Yes, I was truly amazed with this as well the first time that I visited China. Chinese people are constantly eating - it is the number one social activity and one is always being invited out to eat by friends, family, coworkers. The quality & cost of food in China is great and something I never expected either.

[Dave H]

LOL Dave,

I had a bad dream last night due to that foto?  Attack of the giante dicks, I slept with the cheeks tight.

Steveb

Hey Steve,

You're welcome!  I ended up sleeping on my back...which I don't like.

Dave

[jm21-2]

Hmm...so trying to communicate a bunch of information by e-mail so I can use links and such, and now the Chinese government has essentially closed down all the internet cafes in her area. It's vacation time for the school kids and apparently the govt doesn't want them playing video games all day. Great timing.

[bcc_1_2]

Hmm...so trying to communicate a bunch of information by e-mail so I can use links and such, and now the Chinese government has essentially closed down all the internet cafes in her area. It's vacation time for the school kids and apparently the govt doesn't want them playing video games all day. Great timing.

China responds well to shame. When the media reports stuff like this... it embarrasses them.

On my latin america chica hunt i've been to Costa Rica, Colombia, Mexico, and Honduras. I get the feeling you'd like to date and meet some girls (and that's the way IMO to find the best person for you).  You don't by any means seems sold on your current girlfriend/penpal... why not fly to a city and meet some girls?

I can tell you from experience I've had the task of telling a nice girl it isn't going to work out.