Age Gap Tolerence?

[CeeTeeEnn]

to be fair, I ought to limit my remarks on women of the Cali area.  And maybe the proportion is 94.9%, not 99%.

That's fair enough Rivardco I must admit I've met many Calenas here in London, plus a handful online, and none of them have made a good impression on me, period.

I guess the single greatest advantage of dating in Colombia is the numbers game. A decent-looking gringo who speak Spanish will have offers coming in like never before, but will probably still need to kiss many frogs before a princess finally appears, and kissing frogs isn't always fun. So while it's nice to have all that available interest, this should be weighed up against the risk of suffering "battle fatigue" and either leaving empty-handed and disillusioned, or worse still, caving in and settling for second best.

That's the main reason i'm only allowing myself 2 months in Colombia, and intend to spend as much of this time as possible far away from the party scene.

[Zon]

CTE ... think you need to re-engineer your views.

Kissing "frogs" in this case is not painful - WTF.  Don't be so protestant.  And "battle fatigue" are you kidding me?  And leaving empty handed - there is a HUGE red flag.  And stay away from the party scene  - that is not the right answer.

This is not like going to a department store and selecting the "right shops".  This is not like awarding a job after studying all quotes. 

You have to be open to a new culture and learn.  Breath it in without prejudice or some premature plan.  In this case, you are more likely to find only when you are not seeking.

[CeeTeeEnn]

How many guys travel to Colombia and select average looking women their age that are equal in looks to women that they are getting here?  I would say not very many... So a man needs to do what he feels is best for him regardless of other people's ignorant or prejudiced thoughts and judgements.

I agree, Ebony Prince. I'm often attracted to younger girls but i won't put up with flaky or disrespectful behaviour, vacant personalities or shallow tastes just for the sake of youthful looks. However, if i meet a girl age 18-25 with whom i get on with naturally, and who is mature for her age, and who makes an effort to bridge the age gap from her side, then i'd have no reason to turn her down just because of a ~20 year age difference. There are certain types of young girls who are attracted towards older guys for sincere and genuine reasons. They may come from families where there was a large age difference between their own parents, or maybe broken homes where they missed the presence of a central father figure. Usually though, these girls tend to be more intelligent, thoughtful and individualistic than most of their peers. I'm see no reason per se why Latinas with these personality types would not make first-rate wives to older Western guys who understand them and with whom they are compatible.

As far as single British women travelling to the third world on sex tourism package holidays is concerned... the best of luck to 'em. Whilst I regret the damage this sort of tourism may bring to the overall reputation of the British as seen abroad, it's really no big deal when you consider the already very tarnished reputation British women enjoy; at least now i won't feel so bad whenever a British woman asks me about my own dating preferences and get the answer she doesn't want to hear. I have seen this program, and also one from earlier this year describing similar trips to Turkey, and i can say without hesitation that all the women featured occupy pretty much the lowest rungs on our social ladder, and i doubt they'll be missed by anyone.

[CeeTeeEnn]

CTE ... think you need to re-engineer your views

Thank you for your comments and advice regarding my views, Rivardco.

FWIW, I have had enough exposure to Latin American culture and to dating Latinas in my own country to have made me decide to travel to Colombia and the Andrean countries for a number of reasons including dating Latinas. I am certainly open to learning more about Latin culture, and I recognise that the people of this part of the world may have different desires and needs to my own.

Nevertheless, i know what qualities I am looking for in a Latina and also what qualities I am keen to avoid. I therefore don't wish to spend my time dating Latinas whom I discover to be fundamentally incompatible with me after having been unable to form a clear intial impression; I don't think anyone does. This is what i was referring to by "kissing frogs" (adapted from the common English phrase "you have to kiss many frogs before you meet a prince.")

By "battle fatigue" i refer to growing tired of repeatedly going on dates with Latinas that that ultimately lead only to disappointment; in a city where by your own admission there are many Latinas who are happy to date you but few of which may live up to your expectations, I imagine this phenomenon is not difficult to understand.

Furthermore, there are members of this and other forums who were once committed to searching for a woman within the Latin world but who then stopped, for their own reasons, often to resume their search elsewhere. It is for them to say whether or not their experiences of dating Latinas ended with disappointment or left them feeling empty-handed, but from my own point of view i can say that this is exactly how I would imagine myself feeling if i were to travel to Latin America several times and to date several Latinas without long-term success, so much that i were to give up on the idea altogether.

And in reference to the "party scene", well i can say without hesitation that am not attracted to women whose interests go no further than clothes shopping, watching telenovelas and going to mainstream clubs and parties - this is what I specifically refer to as the "party scene". I therefore avoid meeting women in mainstream bars and clubs, preferring to focus on meeting women in other places.

I hope this helps.

[Zon]

You seem to be very intelligent and experienced. So do many men who leave "empty handed."

Do what you will.  I am just saying that CW are very passionate AND fun.  I guess there are the religious women who do not dance?  I, frankly never met one. Rumba y Vivo are the core of this place.

The process in reality is made up of spontaneity and limitless causes and effects that produce introductions and happenings.  I do not think it advisable to make the process antiseptic, or like buying a book on Amazon.com. 

I think for the widest possible exposure, thereby increasing your success ... you should try new things and take risks.  Live a little.  See if you like the environment.  See if the environment likes you.

Best of luck, for sure.

[Kiltboy1]

Rumba Y Vivo is the core of this place-EXACTLY why these women make great girlfriends, but substandard wives. They have no clue of what normal living outside of Rumbaville is about. Guys that understand and accept this type of mentality might be somewhat successful making a marriage work, but for those looking for these traditional values that so many people HYPE, sorry, does not really exist  in general in Colombia and especially Cali .

[soltero]

You all are lumping everyone together, there are people on this board who have very successful marriages with much younger woman. So basically you are insulting them when you call them retards or evil.

Each relationship is different, to be judged on its own merits.

I never said "all", I said "most"...Few things are absolute. Most of the guys that A) Go to depressed countries and B) Go far large age gaps have many issues and are trying to take advantage of many situations that they could not in their own countries without drawing too much attention. Travel more and do so with an open mind and you will see this for yourself.

[Researcher]

Rumba Y Vivo is the core of this place-EXACTLY why these women make great girlfriends, but substandard wives. They have no clue of what normal living outside of Rumbaville is about. Guys that understand and accept this type of mentality might be somewhat successful making a marriage work, but for those looking for these traditional values that so many people HYPE, sorry, does not really exist  in general in Colombia and especially Cali .

      KB,  You know Cali well, great description.

[CeeTeeEnn]

Rumba Y Vivo is the core of this place - EXACTLY why these women make great girlfriends, but substandard wives...

I can't even see any attraction in having a rumbera for a girlfriend... Still, at least i know that if/when i get fed up with hanging out in Cali, i can always head for nearby Popayan - a historic city renown for it's churches, acadaemic and cultural institutions, and temperate climate. One would hope that a more educated and classy type of Colombiana can more easily be found there

[SocialDreg]

I would dare say that most guys on this forum fall into categories A and B, including me.

[Zon]

It depends who you are, and what you are looking for ...

Calianas - beautiful and young Calianas - did not practice the "selection" that I presumed; the selection that I was use to in the USA..  Physical appearance matters a lot less than you may think.  Get your good looks out of the equation:) STATUS; MONEY in Colombia are equal to Youth and Good looks in the US.  It is a different cultural lens.

I "naturally" date younger women - both in the US and outside the US. (17 to 24 year age gap, which is on the extreme side) Why?  I am NOT hell bent on a young woman! It just happens that way for me. I guess the answer is - I CAN.

You guys are missing something on this age tolerance question; however. Look at the big picture:  It is not just poor girls are desparate - that is only one demension. That does not take into account something much more fundamental - the role and value of being a man.

It is easier to look back at first world countries and see with clear eyes that the value of a man has been cut in half over the last 25 years.  I am not saying it is wrong or right. It is just a fact.  In the USA, almost anyone can make a decent living.  For security, just dial 911.  What do you need a man for?  Protection; stability; fatherhood; security; status; love; sex 

Nope; nope; nope; nope; nope; nope; nope

Age gap tolerance is a sub set of valuing the masculine gender.  There is a HUGE difference between 1st world counties and the rest of the world in how those societies value the man.

[Pivery]

  Age is secondary. The real thing is whether or not you two are compatible mentally.

 Some women are very mature while others are going to be like children still. Some women are going to be ready for a relationship and some are just not at that point yet. I dated a woman in Colombia who was 24 at the time who just wanted to be online, on her cell phone and dancing at night with her girlfriends. Didn't have a care in the world, emotional spikes up and down and had no intention of being involved in a serious relationship.
 
 The very next woman I met was 23 and as mature and stable as I am. Very responsible, never online, no dancing all night. Very traditional and conservative. Cooked for her family after work and helped with the housework alongside her mother and helped with her younger siblings. And basically a smooth line across the screen emotionally. The two women while only one year apart, were night and day in difference.

 So there's no rhyme or reason to the age thing really. Every woman is different, and if her mentality and personality match yours, then that's what really counts in my opinion. If you're worried about what other people will say, that's something that you will personally have to deal with. But some people are going to look down on you for having to go all the way to another country to bring a woman back, so you are already at a disadvantage anyway.

Pivery

[soltero]

But some people are going to look down on you for having to go all the way to another country to bring a woman back, so you are already at a disadvantage anyway.

Pivery

That depends. If it is obvious that you could have what you want wherever you are, then it is obvious that going elsewhere was not forced upon you, but a choice. Some guys that go aren't driven out like the Frankenstein monster...LOL! There ARE guys that prefer Latinas and aren't just going where they think that can get lucky...

[utopiacowboy]

There are also guys like myself who were just looking for someone who lived close by. I was on amigos.com looking for Mexicanas who might live in a border town close to me when I happened to spot my wife's profile.