New Guy - Old Guy - Been here before.

[Larry178]

Well, color me back.  At least after 10 years, I "think" this is the place.  I married a woman from the States, and wouldn't you know it, we are in divorce city now. *sigh* 

I could go at length about the why and all that, but it comes as no surprise.

Back when I was very active on this forum, there was a lady in Paducah, KY who was married to a Portugese guy.  She was an acknowledged expert on immigration matters.  Anyone remember her.

I dunno if I really wanna go the distance again, but I might.  Meantime, I have been all over the world, seen several hundred marriages and might even be able to  help a few guys (or ladies) with a fact or two.  I do tend to stick to the facts and am not at all judgmental.

Did PL sell to someone after say 1999?

Larry

[Researcher]

 10 years with an AW? that's not bad considering...Anyway, welcome back!!

  Researcher

[michaelb]

Yeah, Patrick sold it, but I don't think it was in 1999, more like 2004 or 2005. One of the administrators owns it now, I want to say Dan, but won't bet my paycheck on it. Who ever owns it now can probably tell you who they are and the exact date they took it over.

[Larry178]

Thanks Mike and Reseacher.

Is Patrick still active?  He used to do Mexico.  Anyway, I went to weddings, met guys in California, etc.  I note that the archives do not go back past 2001, and past that is where my several thousand posts would be. 

Anyway, here I am :-)

Larry

[Jeff S]

Hi Larry and welcome back. Sorry to hear of your woes, but happy you decided take the path less traveled - foreign ladies.

Yes, Patrick is still alive and well. He's married to a Colombiana and is now busy raising a family. Yes he passed the boards on to Dan a few years back, and they split off the Russian and Eastern European group off to another board: http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/

I've been active here since about 2000, but don't remember the immigration expert lady. We have a regular poster WilliamIII on the Asian board who is an attorney in California specializing in immigration. And of course Ray on the Asian board is always a very good source of knowledge on these matters.

[Larry178]

Hiya Jeff.

Thanks for the information.  Your name gave me a hint;  I think my moniker back then was Larry_S.  I made one trip to Cartegena.  Funny thing that one.  My experience there convinced me you can find less than ideal woman anywhere. 

The one I went to see was rude and even though she was like 42, she pinched a young boy on the arse while walking down the street.  I was entertained when the lady who owned the agency chewed her out; I understand enough Spanish (Texas guy).  It was funny.  Then later on one of the ladies who already had a fiancee decided she liked me better than the one who was going to pay for her trip to the States.  What a zoo.

Understanding Spanish and keeping my mouth shut about it let me in on stuff I would have never known otherwise.  One young and totally gorgeous early 20s type had just got back from the States.  A black guy in Oklahoma (if memory serves) had kept her house captive when she went to see him on a fiancee visa and she finally got out through the bathroom window.  I didn't understand exactly how she got back to Cartegena, my Spanish failed me on those details.  Then the other one I went to see down in Buenos Airies turned out to have 4 kids instead of one.  *sigh*

I have no regrets on my eventual decision to marry stateside.  I ran across someone who really needed me.  Over the years, she outgrew me but I expected that.  I am an old fart.  Along the way, I cleaned her up, dusted her off and backed her until she got her BSN.  When I go by her house a couple of times a week, the kids mob me.  Parts of the story are sad and parts are glad, but I did my duty, kept my honor and the past is the past.

My thinking turns to Asian, specifically Filipina.  There is one lady over there who has been hitting on me on a matchmaker site here in the states and I may decided to pursue that one.  I used to talk to this really smart Filipina in Hong Kong who had her own site.  Hong Kong is a place I have visited about 50 times in the past and I met many Filipina's while there.

You married an Ojosan, great.  I lived in Chitose for two years up on Hokaido and can still remember some Japanese language.  Japanese women often make great wives.  I bet she runs the household, right? :-)

Thanks Jeff.

Larry

[Ray]

Hi Larry,

Yes, I remember you very well and it’s great to see you posting again. I always wondered how your marriage to the young AW turned out.

I think the immigration expert lady you are thinking of is Alvena. I haven’t seen her post in a number of years now. If memory serves me, she started the popular immigration help site that eventually evolved into visajourney.com after the lawyers went after her for ‘giving legal advice without a license’.

Some of the old archives are still there and accessible from the menu at the left of your screen, going back to maybe 2001 or so.

Again, welcome back wise one…

Ray

[Larry178]

Hey Hiya Ray - so you decided to marry a Filipina, and that is great news.  I remember you.

And I was just saddened to learn that John Vlandingham died.  You remember Houndawg?  I went to his wedding with my AW.  She liked him too, most days.

Great to see you still active.

Larry

[Bear]

Hey Larry!

Nice to see you back again, wish it was for better reasons.  I've been married over 8 years now to a Filipina and its been quite a trip.

The Bear Family

[Larry178]

Hiya Bear.

Nice looking lady.   And wow kids.  And don't feel either sorry or sad for me.  It worked out about like I expected.  I have always been a realist.  I was what you might call a "Duty" child.  I wanted to feel a real family before I passed on and I got one.  It was great up until it wasn't and that wasn't really her fault or mine.  It was the age difference.

Remember how I used to preach at guys about age differences?  I think I even noted that Patrick, the founder of this site played it smart.  You can get away with "Some" difference, but too much is too much and that is more or less of an individual thing.  I knew what I was letting myself in for and it was ok because what I got out of it was priceless, at least for me. 

I see Ray is here and Jeff, and I wonder who else.  The "Hound" has passed on and he was my friend.

Larry

[Larry178]

Oh and Ray, thanks for the tip on Alvena.  Yes, that was/is her name and her web site is/was visajourney.com.  Thank you for your good memory.  I am gonna try to find her since we exchanged many, many posts on technical and general stuff way back when.  Since I live in Paducah now, I will try to find her.

Larry

[Larry178]

Alvena Ferreira - maybe that is her.  Gonna be hard to get in touch.

Larry

[Bear]

Not sure what you mean about age but my wife is 26 years younger than me.  No problems at all.

The Bear Family

[Larry178]

It works for you bear.  But it usually doesn't for complex reasons.  You did the the right thing with a Filipina.  The cultural aspects of the Phillippines leads to older/younger stability over the long haul.  For many other countries, it simply doesn't work that way.  For example, it usually doesn't work out for the guys who go Eastern Europe.  Way back when, Patrick did a ton of research on the subject.  He ended up as he did because it was right for him.

All the best.

Larry

[Jeff S]

Yes, she does run the house - and I love it. She pays all the bills, decorates beautifully, keeps fresh cut flowers in the house at all times, cooks fantastic meals, maintains a great rose garden, culinary herb garden and seasonal flower gardens on our little patch of land, and either takes classes in, or researches nutrition, health, exercise and similar topics and has devoted her life to taking care of me. It doesn't get any better than this.

I know what you mean about keeping your mouth shut. I speak Spanish and Japanese on top of native English and often just listen as people run off at the mouth. I usually tip my hand later by joining in on the conversation, just to see the shocked looks on people's faces.   

[Larry178]

That sounds like an exceptional and traditional Japanese wife.  You are a fortunate man.  I used to speak a northern dialect and unfortunately learned more female language than male; well that did give me advantage of listening to Japanese women talk about how to handle men.  What a hoot. And very, very practical. 

BTW, I was looking through the archives and think I saw you talking about me at one point.  Guess you have been here a while.  I believe I was active between roughly 1995 and 2000.  Due to all the traveling I had done, plus a degree in something called "Cultural Psychology," I was able to help guys understand the challenges they faced.  It got to be a hobby for me. I dunno if I will be active here as much this go around.

Larry

[Jeff S]

You know what they say, when you get older the memory is the second thing to go. I forgot what the first one was.

That's my problem too, I speak mostly women's Japanese from hanging around my wife, daughter, and her friends. I can kick it up a little, but men are a lot tougher to understand sometimes.

[jm21-2]

It's always good to hear the voice of experience. Hope you'll stick around a bit.

[Larry178]

jm 21-2

I have been to China maybe 20 or 30 times. I had chinese employees both here in the states and in  China. I have Chinese guy friends and lady friends - who have attempted to teach me Chinese culture issues - which vary by region.  I will keep on the lookout for your posts and see if I have anything to add.

Larry

[texassingledad]

Hey Larry question about the age difference thing you speak of. What is your experiience with Colombian women and age difference? Everything I have read is that they prefer older men. Is this not so? Do they change their minds later on after you have married them?

I have been on Jamies site and have picked appox 40 women, some out of each age group. I'm planning on weeding it down a little then signing up to start written comunication with them and see who is interested.

Take care,
Les

[utopiacowboy]

My wife's first husband was actually six years younger than her. I am six years older than her.

[Larry178]

There is age difference and then there is aaaagggggggeeeeee difference.  Age is a part of the package and not always the most important part. 

1.  What does she see as her market value?
2.  How mature is she in real terms?
3.  Does she have kids?
4.  How much real education?
5.  What is her history with men?
6.  What is her family situation?

Women usually believe that an older man will treat them better and are more likely to have good relations with any underage kids they might have. Although she will make every effort to make up her own mind on the subject of age, women tend to be pack oriented and make their decisions based on family opinions and the opinions of their female friends.

if you are 40, don't worry about it.  If 50, then we get to your relative and real age.  If you look 70, your market value doesn't appeal to a 19 year old hottie unless she is trying to escape from a bad situation or bad history and she thinks you have mucho dinero.

Women start to grown up when they start having kids or thinking about having kids. And as a grown up she will make a decision based on many factors as detailed.

When I was here before, I posted a value scale.  Based on the scale, I encouraged guys to recognise that their value to a female was upscale for foreign women, but not at the point where a 60 year old looked good to a 20 year old hottie who may or may not still be a hottie in five years.

Larry

[Larry178]

My wife's first husband was actually six years younger than her. I am six years older than her.

Six hears older than her?  That is NOT an age difference, period.  16 might be and 26 would be, but not 6.

Larry

[Ray]

Six hears older than her?  That is NOT an age difference, period.  16 might be and 26 would be, but not 6.

Larry

Larry,

Perhaps an age difference of 6 years is not that significant in UC's case, HOWEVER...

I subscribe to the school of thought that first takes into consideration the relative ages of the parties involved. A difference in a selected number of statute years becomes less significant as the actual ages of the parties increases.

Therefore, an age difference of 6 years is not very significant for a couple where his age is 50 and hers is 44, but if he were 18 and she were 12, then YES, 6 years is a huge difference!

What do you think of the half your age plus seven rule as a minimum age guideline in selcting a prospective spouse?

Ray

[texassingledad]

Hey Ray thanks. Sounds like a good place to start.

Les