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Author Topic: ...Of sampaguita and provinciyanas(T.Rpt pt2)  (Read 17672 times)
Bear
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« Reply #15 on: October 26, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to ...Of sampaguita and provinciyanas(T.Rpt..., posted by The Mog on Oct 26, 2001

I remember about a year ago we had a "knock down, drag out" fighy on this board fight about maturity in Filipinas.  Your post is the first one that illustrates what I would think is immature.  Still, I hope you haven't wasted so much time you do not discuss this with her as a "final even" but rather "its time to show me you've grow up" discussion.

Bear

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Ray
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« Reply #16 on: October 26, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to ...Of sampaguita and provinciyanas(T.Rpt..., posted by The Mog on Oct 26, 2001

Mog,

I think your post just provided more valuable enlightenment into this whole game of finding a foreign wife than all the advice that I have read here during the last year.

It’s a good thing that you are now reflecting on your trip and using your head to think about where you are really going. I think the first requirement of finding “the right one” should be feeling really comfortable and relaxed in each other’s presence. My feeling is that this whole “love” thing is often overblown anyway. Love alone is certainly not an intelligent reason to get married. Find a really good friend first, your “best friend”, then let the love develop from there. And try to find an “ugly one”… ;-)

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you luck Mog.

Ray

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greg
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« Reply #17 on: October 27, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Great Post!, posted by Ray on Oct 26, 2001

Once and for All..Are You serious?
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Jeff S
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« Reply #18 on: October 26, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to ...Of sampaguita and provinciyanas(T.Rpt..., posted by The Mog on Oct 26, 2001

Having mutual respect, communication, adoration, affection, and a sense of simply wanting to be with that person is essential to the creation of a good marriage. If you feel like you're taking care of a child, you're not the shallow one, the person who'd stay in that relationship just because she's a knockout would be the shallow one. That's what spending time with each other is for - to find out that after the all of both of your faults come to the surface, if you both still want to be with each other more than anything, you may be ready to commit to a lifetime relationship. Remember the rest of your life is a LONG time to spend with someone. Keep looking and you find that someone who "is smart, respectful of men, interesting and yet strong and has opinions, yet has an open mind and doesnt shoot down other people." Best wishes in your search.
-- Jeff S.
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The Mog
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« Reply #19 on: October 26, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Sounds like you're getting smart.., posted by Jeff S on Oct 26, 2001

Thanks. Its seems difficult to be able spend the kind of time required to determine compatability when one is limited to a few week vacation.I simply dont have the finacial resources nor the desire to spend a prolonged time in the philippines, and there is a great difference between letters, emails and phone calls than actually being with someone. And I have all but given up on American women. They seem disinterested in me at best. This search seems more difficult than I first envisioned. I just wonder how so many others have done it.
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Jeff S
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« Reply #20 on: October 26, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Sounds like you're getting smart.., posted by The Mog on Oct 26, 2001

I spent about 14 weeks total time with my wife before we were married over a span of 2 1/2 years. Even then, I was hit with a number of surprises. We were lucky because she had a tourist visa so could visit me, as well as me visiting her country. I traveled there three times during our courtship, and she, to the US, twice. I dated a number of Asian women before her, both here in the US and in the far east over a five or six year span before settling with her exclusively. I really took my time, but was not interested in having kids so wasn't on any kind of schedule, biological clock or otherwise. There were a few AWs thrown in during that time as well, but never anyone I could ever imagine spending the rest of my life with, though there were plenty of opportunities.
- Jeff S.
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Taliman
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« Reply #21 on: October 26, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Sounds like you're getting smart..., posted by Jeff S on Oct 26, 2001

Dear Mog,
There are a million more Filipina's out there. They are Not all the same.
What kind of things are you looking for in a mate as far as social activities?
Please share your trip pictures if you can.

Send to Jeff or Mag-anak or Me :0)  dingo5555@lycos.com
Taliman

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The Mog
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« Reply #22 on: October 27, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Sounds like you're getting s..., posted by Taliman on Oct 26, 2001

Certainly I would love to share my pics, I shot 7 (!) rolls worth!...I appreciate all the input from everyone...its nice to have friends to use as a sounding board, even invisible cyber ones that I've never met. It was never my intention to label my girl as immature, rather it is me, coming to realize that I have less in common with her than I originally thought. Sweet words and letters will only get you through the first phase of the relationship. I guess Mr. Kalabalaka is right, to a certain extent, however I dont fully agree that age is a predominant factor determining maturity per se, in every instance..
Its possible an older woman may be immature, and that a young woman may be very mature..we are a product of the environment in which we are brought up, and of those who we associate with, people that have an influence on us..friends, family, teachers, even TV...
My girl is very smart, but she grew up in a small town in a province. Hence the term "provinciyana", which I had never heard before this trip. Now, there may or may not be anything wrong with this type of girl for some guys..in fact for many , they may be preferable choices. But for me, growing up in the city, the idea of showing her, teaching her, watching her experience everything that she has never seen or done or heard before...well..I guess that initially I found the idea fun and exciting..but in practice, I guess its more fun for her, and rather tedious and tiresome for me. All I know is Im not happy. And I dont want to have children and live with this woman every day for the rest of my life. Maybe years of getting stood up and lied to and jerked around by American women have damaged my psyche..Im 43 and Im not used to spending every waking moment with a girl..day in and day out..Here in the US, I am lucky to ever get an occasional second glance, but over in the Philippines, for some reason they like me a lot..my hair, my skin, my eyes...its almost too easy..its like shooting fish in a barrel..like a kid in a candy shop..and I cant control myself..i want them all, every time I am with one, no matter how georgeous she is, I always see a different one i want to meet..I am very happy however to have so many friends..over there and here on this board..
Very few men will ever have the experiences that we have had,
and felt the warmth of the the heart that is the Filipina woman..if there is any fault in any of them it is only that they fall in love and give their heart too easily..but one must think of their own heart first..
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Taliman
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« Reply #23 on: October 27, 2001, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Sounds like you're getti..., posted by The Mog on Oct 27, 2001

I understand your "kid in a candy shop" syndrome.
I to felt like that many a times. BUT it's like anything there is always someone
smarter, stronger, cuter than you.
If you think your the greatest at fixing cars or playing chess there is always someone better.
We don't want to spend our whole lives chasing the perfect women because there are actually
a lot of perfect women for us.  I love Christine for all her good and bad sure Hum's Ex
may be cuter but what does cuter cost?...besides a Vacuum...lol

Hang in there don't give up.......unless you really want to ;0)
Taliman

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