Hello All..
I need to make a big decision, between the new K3, and the fiance visa.. as i'm not married yet, i can still apply for the fiance visa, however the plan is to marry in Jan02. I wonder if anyone knows.. if the K3 is faster in processing, will we be to gether faster. or will the fiance visa be about the same.. Also my understanding with the fiance visa.. the fiance will have work authorization unpon arrival however with the k3 I am understanding the the employment verification is filed after the k3 is processed. meaning my fiance will arrive here, and won't be able to work at all until the k3 is approved,, is this incorrect? and if so how long will it take before employment authorization is approved??  So people tell me do I marry first apply for the K3, or do we apply for the fiance visa.. keep in mind that we met on the internet 10months ago, we will meet for the first time in Jan.. if things go ok.. we were thinking to marry. while I was there visiting? otherwise we will have to arrange another trip as visa require at least face to face meeting.. so this trip is necessary either way. So what to do?? decisions decisions decisions....? HELP!!!! thanks all IMI

... in response to decisions HELP!!!!!!!!, posted by IMI on Aug 27, 2001

You're planning to marry on jan 02, and you haven't met in person yet??? If you must marry on jan 02, do it in 2003!!!!!!  You are setting yourself up to become one of the not-so-good statistics, like ME!!    Larry.

... in response to Me too and with you! (n/t), posted by Dave H on Aug 27, 2001

Hi Dave!
You know, now that the dust has settled, one of the things that bothers me most is seeing all the guys that are following blindly in my footsteps, making all the same mistakes, believing in everything they are led to believe. They don't want to understand that if they slow down a little it would probably increase their chance of success tenfold. I was one of those that was always in a hurry. NOT ANY MORE!!!!!  I had known the wonderful Myrna nearly two years before she arrived here, but in truth, I didn't know the REAL her at all!!  (Funny thing, last night I had trouble remembering her name:)  I just cringe when I see someone posting about marriage plans before they have even met in person. Maybe I should write a book about how NOT to do the MOB thing.    Larry.

... in response to Re: Me too and with you! (n/t), posted by shadow on Aug 28, 2001

Hi Larry,

I have come to the conclusion that when we find and marry the right woman (or man...for the ladies), it is mainly due to luck or the grace of God. But, finding the "wrong" woman is DEFINITELY are own darn fault!!! I thought that I had learned from my past mistakes and had done everything right when I decided to marry my ex. I guess I was wrong. LOL It seems that there is always something more to learn.  I thought my fiancee could probably have gotten into the Pentagon easier than into my heart. I used my super suspicious computer-like brain (LOL) to do all of my background, lie detector and  security checks. ;o)) Then she snuck in the backdoor with her master key. Happens every time! ;o))

You are right about taking things slow. It gives us more time to make observations and get to know each other better. I suppose you really don't know someone until you actually live with them...and sometimes not even then. It is hard with a Filipina. They already think that we are moving at a turtle's pace. ;o)) They know right away when they have found "the one." ;o) Every time I would complain about the immigration process taking more than a month or two, good ole' Ray would always say that it was a good thing. Now I realize that he was right! While it never felt fair, it has given my fiancee and I  an additional 6 months to  know each other better. If I'd married every woman that I ever liked but barely knew, I couldn't begin to count the number of ex-wives I would have by now.  I can't figure out what I ever saw in some now. For me, the situation is even tougher with Filipinas. They all are so beautiful and seem sooo sweet. I believe that we really need time to get to know someone first, before we should commit to spend the rest of our lives together. Time is a good way to really get to know someone, even in a long distance relationship. I think that I know more about my fiancee than I ever did about my past girlfriends or ex-wife before I married her. I married my ex-wife after 8 months (engaged in 3), because we couldn't stand being separated by a chaperone and we were usually only being allowed to see each other on Friday evenings. It would have been sooner if the Catholic Church hadn't already been booked. The Spanish have a very good system for getting their daughters married in a hurry! Often in the past, the only time  I was really using my big head was when I was trying to find a way to use my little head. :-0 (Ooops...sorry ladies) It is inevitable to some degree, if you are attracted to someone.  It is so easy to overlook faults or incompatibility, believing that they or we will change. During the past 14 months that I have known my fiancee, I have had a very good chance to learn more about her opinions, dreams, goals, character and her heart, than I ever have with any woman before. Even though I am very attracted to her physically, the 10,000 mile separation puts the thought of anything happening physically to "bed."  It is easier to stay focused on the conversation and not think about the quickest way to first base .  We went through many happy, sad and difficult times together...10,000 miles apart.  A long separation, serious illnesses and injuries to friends and relatives,  deaths of friends, financial problems, misunderstandings, crab mentality....  It probably would have been better if we had spent more time together in person, but it wasn't possible. We have both done our best to determine if we are right for each other. We believe that we are.  Now it is really up to luck or God to see if we were right...plus a whole lot of love, respect, patience and commitment.

Larry, I think that you should go ahead and write you book. I will buy it! Then you will have some royalties coming in when you are relaxing in your nipa hut on the beach in the Philippines... with your future wife. Save me a cold San Miguel. ;o))

Good luck bro!

Dave H.

... in response to Write the book!!!, posted by Dave H on Aug 28, 2001

Have been giving considerable serious thought to the book issue, or actually two or three dealing with different aspects of things. The nipa hut and san miguel would make it worth it. Future wife?  Nah, not on the horizon, or even the other side of the world. Unless I can see it's to MY advantage!   I guess 2 out of 3 ain't bad, Dave!    Larry.

... in response to an exception, posted by Carl on Aug 28, 2001

Carl and Vemila,

You know that I am happy for both of you! I know you can't lose with God in charge. I believe the problem is that most of us say we put God "in charge" and do all of the picking ourselves. ;o)) I know that I have been guilty of that most of my life. I take full responsibility for it. God gives us free reign or if you please, enough rope to hang ourselves. Some people get lucky and pick the person God wanted them to. Other people are much better listeners.

Dave H.

... in response to an exception, posted by Carl on Aug 28, 2001

carl..
how did you get your wife here with out meeting her first.. ? as I understand that you need to have met face to face for the fiance visa? or is that something new maybe added later.

... in response to an exception, posted by Carl on Aug 28, 2001

an exception, and I am sure there are others also, god or no god. I put god in charge several years ago. What was the result? Devastation. I am now starting completely over with nothing. It will take me years to get back to where I was when I allowed myself to be openminded and gullable enough to believe. According to Myrna, she is a very devoted catholic. She attends church several times a week, and claims to have "christian values". Let me explain how this works. She can now lie, steal, and cheat people to get what she wants, but it is ok, because she is a christian, and SHE IS FORGIVEN!!! SHE HAS NO REMORSE!!! Bullpucky! What happened to honor? It went out the door when "christian values" went in.

I beleive EVERYONE has the right to their own beliefs, and NOBODY should have the right to cram THEIR beliefs down everyone elses throat! People who do make me sick. Probably 50% of your posts are god this, and god that. Not everyone is so fanatical, and I respect their beliefs. I do not cram MY beliefs down THEIR throats. I no longer believe in your god, so don't preach to me, Carl.

I'm sure this will ruffle some feathers, and I appologize to those I may offend. I'm just sick of people cramming their beliefs down my throat. The jehovah's witnesses showed up here saturday to preach to me about THEIR G.O.D. When they left, it was in a hurry with my normally very docile D.O.G. snapping at their backsides. Dogs are a very good judge of character, that is MY belief.

Larry.