By-passing the agencies?

[tommi]

If a gringo has somewhat of a pretty good grasp on the language, would it be adviseable for him to visit Cali or Bogota, with the intentions of meeting women for long term relationships, without using an agency? I understand that there's plenty of women who do not use agencies.

If any readers have done this I would like to know about their experiences.

Thanks guys.

[Edge]

... in response to By-passing the agencies?, posted by tommi on May 4, 2001

Tommi - I remember when I was in Caracas for a tour, a group of us went to the local mall.  One of the guys could speak Spanish.  We decided to start inviting attractive ladies we saw to the party. Because he could communicate with them, we ended up with several more nice ladies at the fiesta.  This is one example of where being able to communicate in spanish will free you from having to use an agency.

I am definitely not here to bash the agencies.  Obviously, they provide a service and some are better than the others at providing this service.  You will find all types of women there, good and bad.  If you can speak spanish at a reasonable level where you do not need an interpreter, you can free yourself from having to use the agency or another interpreter.  Then you can make your own judgements about the woman.

I thought David had a great post about the food court idea.

I actually met my fiancee through an internet agency that was affiliated with an agency in Cali.  My girlfriend does not really like the agencies and she belonged to several.  Mainly because she was not always sure she could trust the agencies to tell her the truth.  

If I had to do it over again, I would probably use both the agencies and try to meet girls in the normal course of being there.  But I can communicate pretty well in Spanish now where I could approach a girl and have a good conversation.

[tommi]

... in response to Re: By-passing the agencies?, posted by Edge on May 4, 2001

I have already planned two weeks in Cali with two different agencies and simply want to make the most of my first trip. I do believe that using an agency is the best initial way to go, and also agree that one can do well outside an agency, once one knows the "terrain."  The two agencies I selected have thus far been very helpful, and considering the cost of using them; they provide outstanding customer service.

I can honestly say that just reading these boards has brought tremendous insight, on numerous topics, despite the "in house bickering that takes place." I do admire all of you guys for your opinions and think that the variety of participants keeps it interesting. I think this board would be a better place if the personal attacks could subside just a bit.

Just my POV...

[Ralph]

... in response to Thanks guys..., posted by tommi on May 4, 2001

Nothing wrong with using agencies and nothing wrong with Freelancing. Have you been to Cali before? If you speak the language OK you will have no problem starting conversations and meeting women.

In Discos for instance, unless the Lady is unavailable, it would be rare to get shot down asking a Latina to dance!
If ya dance salsa or are willing to "fake it" you will have a blast!

One night I was itting outside at a Disco on Avenida Sexta and a few guys walked in with a bunch of Ladies. Aftre a bit I was recruited to dance with all the "lonely ones". While
none of these ladies were my type, I had a great time!

Get out and experience the city.

[JUAN]

... in response to By-passing the agencies?, posted by tommi on May 4, 2001

DO NOT go into every relationship with the goal of starting something serious.

Meet them, talk to them, get to know them, only then will you know if they are "long term relationship" material.

Don't go "she's beautiful, I want to  marry her", if it was that easy every guy would be happily married.

[JUAN]

... in response to By-passing the agencies?, posted by tommi on May 4, 2001

If you have a grasp  of a particular language, ANY language you can go to any country where that language is spoken and meet nice ladies as long as you know how to talk to and treat them.

[david]

... in response to By-passing the agencies?, posted by tommi on May 4, 2001

Hey there. I have met alot of ladies either playing tennis, swimming, of simply out shopping. You can meet a lady just like you would at home.  Cali has a very nice swimming park. However, I cannot remember where it is.  If your in good shape, you can talk to plenty of latinas there. In Bogota, I would play tennis and when I was lucky golf was available. Here the best way I found to meet ladies.

Go to the shopping mall, go to the opposite side of the mall from the food court.  When you see a lady your interested in, ask her to show you where you can eat lunch. If she walks you over to the food court, you have the time and opportunity to break the ice and find out if she is single. If she is "bingo" ask her to have lunch with you.  If she is single 90% of the time she will have lunch with you.  

Good luck, David

[Traveler]

... in response to Re: By-passing the agencies?, posted by david on May 4, 2001

and David, regarding tennis, not only do you get to see what her legs look like, its' cheap!!!

[Tai]

... in response to Re: By-passing the agencies?, posted by david on May 4, 2001

David,

I think seeking additional avenues to meet ladies in addition to the agencies can be beneficial to guys looking to maximize their chances of meeting a nice lady.

However I do disagree with the "food court routine". Maybe it's just the way it is presented, but asking a lady to lunch simply because she says she is "single" seems a bit precarious to me.  

A short walk from the other side of a mall is not going to reveal much about what type of lady she is before you invite her to have lunch on you. "Gold-diggers", "party girls", or hungry "opportunists" will surely accept an invitation to lunch....regardless of whether they are REALLY interested knowing you as a person.

There are a lot of nice ladies down there that are single, friendly, and open to meeting someone. And many of the nicest ladies, the type that many guys are looking for, won't accept lunch from a stranger that they've only known for a few strides across the mall.

I'd suggest asking a lady to sit and talk, or meet you later to talk or take a walk. It will also serve as a better screening mechanism.

Just .02

Tai

[Houndog]

... in response to Let's have a free lunch on the gringo!, posted by Tai on May 5, 2001

Tai, You are absolutely correct. Unless one 'lives in' Colombia or any LA locale meeting by the 'lets do lunch' routine is pretty absurd if one is looking for a 'real' LT relationship.

Of course you can see the guys that fancy themselves as "Don Juans" line up cheering the humerous notion of meeting on the streets. I think smart guys looking for a truly serious LT relationship should think about the 'odds' of meeting 'The Right One' walking down the street...or in a food court. Unless one lives there.

Houndog

[Ralph]

... in response to Let's have a free lunch on the gringo!, posted by Tai on May 5, 2001

-----------------------------------------------------------
"Gold-diggers", "party girls", or hungry "opportunists" will surely accept an invitation to lunch....regardless of whether they are REALLY interested
knowing you as a person.
------------------------------------------------------------
If one is worried about getting "scammed" out of a free lunch, it would be better not to go at all. Even if the Lady was not really interested, actually talking to and interacting with Latinas can teach one WAY more than a Library full of John Gray books;-)

BTW, "Gold Diggers", "Party Girls" or "Hungry Oppurtunists" with even half a brain would go where they could find the MOST "marks" or Gringos. . . . . . . . they would join every agency they could, not hope some Gringo with guts and Spanish fluency asks them where the food court is!

[Tai]

... in response to Re: Let's have a free lunch on the gring..., posted by Ralph on May 5, 2001

Ralph,

I, personally, am not worried about getting scammed out of anything. As I indicated, talking to ladies isn't the issue but rather using the "free lunch" to get her to talk to you IS. One doesn't know whether or not she is "interested" or is just taking advantage of the situation.

I have already been to Colombia a few times myself, and I know from personal experience that if a lady is interested in talking to you/getting to know you SHE WILL, period.

Someone else(traveler) mentioned the wining and dining of a lady...

It's fine to take a lady out for dinner, dancing, outings to wherever....once you have a better idea of who you're dealing with. Yes, it takes time to get to know someone true enough, but I've seen a whole lot of guys down there throwing money at girls; dinners, trips, gifts, right from jump...trying to impress them and having it blow up in their face. Making it about "winning" her through lunches, gifts, trips, etc, is how many gringos "MARK" themselves. Guys aren't winning any "special" consideration by spending a bunch of money on her. While many gringos think it's the trips to the restaurants that are winning her over, to the lady...what she values is the TIME, so where you spend it is irrelevant.

I thought the whole point was to find a lady that likes you for you? If wining and dining is your angle, why even go to SA? There are plenty of good-looking hot young AW that would quickly accept free lunch and dinner offers.

Just another .02

Tai

ps - IMO agencies in general WILL put most guys farther ahead in the game than cold-calling(meeting girls on the street) in regards to screening mechanisms.

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: Re: Let's have a free lunch on the g..., posted by Tai on May 5, 2001

There is a lot of ground between ?throwing money around? and
having lunch. I fail to see how free lunch in a food court
would be som compelling that a woman that had zero interest whatsoever, would even bother.

There are women that frequent the agencies for the ?free parties?, nights on the town with Gringos, use of the pool,
etc etc etc.

Now, I am not saying most or even a large percentage. The fact is if a half way smart woman wanted some free meals or nights on the town, she would be better off joining an agency than cruising the mall.

I'm not bashing agencies, in fact I stayed at one. I agree that for those with limited time, limted Spanish, less adventurous, or outgoing, Agencies are WAY ahead of ?freelancing?. I just don't see why many here totally discredit the possibility of meeting a great girl through other means.

Use whatever method works for you. There is no perfect way for everybody.

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: Re: Let's have a free lunch on the g..., posted by Tai on May 5, 2001

(((I thought the whole point was to find a lady that likes you for you? If wining and dining is your angle, why even go to SA? There are plenty of good-looking hot young AW that would quickly accept free lunch and dinner offers.)))

You have no idea how many times I have said the same thing. And how many times a certian few want to argue the merits of bribery as a starting point.  I agree completely that if coersion is the "modus operandi" then one can go to his local mall(chuckle) and 'bargian' for a date.

For those looking for love of the enduring type I agree the woman should accept you for you. I met quite a few good looking women in my trips south that were more interested in meeting a "good man" than a free lunch. Yes it was the time and attention they were given that was more important than stuff.

***ps - IMO agencies in general WILL put most guys farther ahead in the game than cold-calling(meeting girls on the street) in regards to screening mechanisms. **

Once again I agree the "odds" will be far greater using an agency in the beggining if one is looking for a true LT relationship than 'buying lunch'

Regards, Houndog

[david]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Let's have a free lunch on t..., posted by Houndog on May 5, 2001

How can you guys get so excited about asking a lady to have lunch with you. Is this not a nice social activity to break the ice?  How is having lunch wining and dining?  How is this trowing money around? How much does lunch cost?  10-12 dollars?  Social activity is the key to meeting women. Here or there, there is no difference.  Do you guys think these ladies sit at home on the internet all day? No they are very much social beings. By the negative comments of having lunch with a latina, I sense you guys may be social introverts "to put it nicely".  

Really think about your weekend?  Lets see for me. Sat. Biking 20 miles down the beach with friends and meeting ladies. Airshow in the afternoon. Dinner with a date.  All on Sat.  This morning golf at 10 am and singles tennis this afternoon.  Enjoy life guys because those girls down south do more than AW. Good luck David