By-passing the agencies?

[Tai]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Let's have a free lunch ..., posted by david on May 6, 2001

David,

In your own words "Social activity is the key to meeting women. Here or there, there is no difference." Since when does social activity "automatically" mean: "hanging at the far end of the mall, cold calling ladies for a lunch date"? If that's your only definition of social activity, then I'd say you're the...."social introvert".

I've merely offered an opinion about what I do not think would be an effective approach in general, especially given the parameters that were stated.

I will say it AGAIN, having additional avenues of meeting ladies can benefit guys looking for a nice lady. However, one should definitely consider the TYPE of avenue one is taking. Some avenues can lead you to places and situations you don't want to be in.

I DO speak spanish and have met quite a number of ladies outside of agencies, as well as having made a number of good friends. In addition, I have used agencies.

Ralph,

The title of your previous post was "it's not all black and white"....which is true. Now you're telling David "don't bother", because people offer differing opinions. If things aren't black or white....then all opinions/experiences would have the same potential for contributory
"merit"(within reason), right?

As always, just .02

Tai

[Ralph]

... in response to To lunch, or not to lunch?, posted by Tai on May 6, 2001

-----------------------------------------------------
I have already planned two weeks in Cali with two different agencies and simply want to make the most of my first trip. I do believe that using an
agency is the best initial way to go, and also agree that one can do well outside an agency, once one knows the ?terrain.? The two agencies I
selected have thus far been very helpful, and considering the cost of using them; they provide outstanding customer service.
----------------------------------------------------------

Why do the agency fans feel compelled to bash any other methods? Mind you I am involved with an agency and think they are a big help for most, but why a problem with asking women to lunch in ADDITION to agencies?

Black or white. I see grey.

[Tai]

... in response to Please visit original post, posted by Ralph on May 6, 2001

Ralph,

The portion you quoted is not from the original post by tommi, which started the thread, but anyway...

It's not a coincidence that I didn't respond to the other replies to the original prior to david's. Nor is it coincidence that I didn't disagree with David's post completely. The first half of it...fine. The second half, especially the last line...uh,.."Houston, we may have a problem" Here is the complete paragraph for your convenience:  

***Go to the shopping mall, go to the opposite side of the mall from the food court. When you see a lady your interested in, ask her to show you where you can eat lunch. If she walks you over to the food court, you have the time and opportunity to break the ice and find out if she is single. If she is "bingo" ask her to have lunch with you. If she is single 90% of the time she will have lunch with you.***

I am NOT bashing all other methods of meeting women, I am simply questioning the "food court-cold calling-free lunch-routine".

I have a good friend who is La Profesora at a beauty college in Barranquilla. She regularly invites me to the school to introduce me to ladies whenever I'm there. I have other friends that regularly invite me to las fiestas en sus barrios while I'm there, y otros amigos que me invitan a cenar consigos...again, avenues for exposure to ladies, as well as people who know something about the ladies there. My friends are not "agencies", but they DO provide a screening mechanism; i.e....is the lady involved with anyone, is she looking for someone, age, children, personality, etc....as many agencies do....that save me preventable headaches.

That's really what this is about, IMO, helping people to avoid preventable headaches...and screening mechanisms are better to that end.

This is the last .02 I'm spending on this thread,

Tai

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: Please visit original post, posted by Tai on May 6, 2001

Sorry if you took my post as being directed at you personally. I think your meeting of women at your friends Beauty school is a great idea. In fact I feel that if possible introductions by friends is a great "screening" process.

I would probably prefer that over  a stranger doing the screening. In fact the only person I would rather do the "screening" is me! The post on food courts mentioned having enough time to find out if the girl was single, available, looking etc. Surely one could find out more over lunch.

Nobody knows what type of Lady you would like better than you. If you want to know. . . . .ask.

I really don't think we disagree that much, as you are certainly not limiting your options and my comment on bashing was not directed at you. Sorry again if it cam across that way.

[Tai]

... in response to Personal screening, posted by Ralph on May 6, 2001

We're clear...no problem Ralph.

Tai

[Ralph]

... in response to To lunch, or not to lunch?, posted by Tai on May 6, 2001

The point is nobody was saying meet babes at the mall INSTEAD of agencies. Someone who said he would be staying at TWO agencies, was contemplating trying to meet ?regular? women at the Mall. A suggestion was made.  People here who see black and white trashed this suggestion as if it has no merit.

Arguing with people that only seee black and white is a waste of time, hence my post

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Let's have a free lunch ..., posted by david on May 6, 2001

Many guys on this board see dating as "abnormal" A woman you might meet at the mall has to be viewed with skepticism, as she is obviously "trolling" for dates.

Other avenues, options or opinions are not welcome here. You must go to an agency or you are somehow less sincere, or not looking for "real" love etc etc etc. Most people I know that are Married, DATED first. Most met at a party, mall, work, school, etc etc etc.

Sure Latin America is different. There is the language barrier and the time constraints. So if one speaks Spanish and has the time to spend, then what is wrong with that?

Without a doubt the BEST way to have success would be to move to LA for a while. Most can't do that. One list member did and was TRASHED, because he wanted to DATE!
 
Give up trying to convince them, and enjoy life.

[Houndog]

... in response to Don't bother, posted by Ralph on May 6, 2001

And we agree that the 'best way' is to live there. And being wealthy and socialy connected wouldn't hurt either. Especialy if you can hang out with the Rich & Powerful...say,  get invited to all the parties at the Presidential Palace.  Of course we're all still waiting for that success story and trip report(LOL).

So if you don't mind. Can you post all the 'cold call on the street success stories" ? Sounds like such a simple request, I really don't understand the hold up. In fact I've been waiting for close to 2 years to see that list.

Truly anything is possible, so surely instead of claiming something is possible, one should gladly validate their claims. Seems only logical to provide a list odf success stories to back up ones claims, don't you think ? After all the 'odds' are in your favor that there is at least one. Surely one guy got lucky that can start the list ?

 May we this list , please !

Houndog

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: Please bother to post the List of su..., posted by Houndog on May 6, 2001

OK:

My friend who met his wife at the restaurant where she waitressed, and they have been together 4 years, and have a 2 year old daughter.

Another friend who lives about 3 miles from the first one been married a year and a half with a girl he met on vacation in the DR.

My brother in law who is French who met my sister-inlaw at a park in the DR, while there on business. They have been together 7 years, he lives in the DR now, and they have a beautiful 5 year old daughter.

Another friend in Rhode Island met a woman in the DR while on vacation and has been Married for 2 years.

Myself, been with my wife for a year and a half. Met through friends.

A friend from Italy that will be Marrying his Dominican girlfriend in December, been together almost two years. Met at a Wedding.

A buddy from Chicago, now living in the Dr. Been with his girl three years and have a 6 month old son.

A guy I know retired in the DR that has been with his wife 7 years.

This is NOT counting people I met on-online! These are people I have met personally under normal circumstances.

How many of your personal aquaintances met wives through agencies? Not guys you met here and on LWL, but friends?

Sure you read success stories here. This is a gathering place for agency members. We have also read some horror stories. Bruce Hart, LarryG etc etc etc.

I'm not against agencies, in fact am involved with one, but realize that ruling out avenues to meet is just plain stupid. Because you could never do it, don't rule it out for others.

Oops, forgot a business associate from Puerto Rico now living in Miami with his Dominican wife, met while in the DR for business.

My wife's friend is now engaged to an American she met while he was there on vacation.

These exaples are just from the DR, because there is practically ZERO agency presence. You know what? People are still meeting, falling in love and getting Married.

Oh yeah, I have a Dominican friend in Dallas Married and two kids to an American woman. Met while she was on vacation.

Try visiting DR1.com and ask how many people there are happily Married to Dominicans. Then ask how many met through agencies.

[Houndog]

... in response to Sure!, posted by Ralph on May 6, 2001

You and your wife met thru friends..? Thats not cold calling !!!!!!!!!!!!!! You never mentioned meeting thru friends...so lets not change the game to skew the outcome ,  OK ?

It sure would be nice to be able to verify your match claims...know what I mean...after all...this is going to be a comparitive study...it would be nice to compare things fairly...don't ya think...

Need I go on.. or are you going to force me to explain to you at lenght what a valid comparitive study is as compared to shall I say...un validated names that could have been made up ? After all I offered a list from this forum that could be easily validated. You wouldn't want an unfair comparison, just to push your point of view would you ? Naaahhh...of course not. I didn't think so.

So may we have a 'real list' ?? verifiable...and only cold call strollers this time ?

Houndog

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: Whoaaaaa hold on..., posted by Houndog on May 6, 2001

I met and dated a bunch of girls thorugh ?cold calling? the
friend that introduced me, was my friends wife who he met at a restaurant.

Second I have never claimed that ?cold calling? is better or  worse. Just a different approach. the post that started this all, was from a guy that planned on staying at TWO agencies. He was also thinking about trying to meet REGULAR non agency girls in ADDITION to not instead of.

Anything that is not an agency is not a valid approach? I guess you are just closed minded.

You can make a list from members here? No crap. You can make a list of agency successes from a board dedicated to MOB? Wow. I'm impressed.

How long have these successes lasted? You were able to convince a girl to Marry you from an agency? ANYBODY can do that. You talk about getting to the green side of the mountain? Dude, getting Married is EASY, staying Married is hard. If you think you are homefree, you are mistaken.

[Houndog]

... in response to you'll never get it, posted by Ralph on May 6, 2001

Oh...I think staying married for me will be a lot easier for me than some I can think of. Hmmmm...I wasn't aware hostility and beligerence were conducive to LT marriages. Or spending hour upon hour on the Inet....Hmmmmm...live and learn.

HD

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: you'll never get it, posted by Houndog on May 6, 2001

I'm not joking or even picking on you. Anybody can go south and find a wife. SDtaying Married is the trick. I'm sure you read the thread on homesickness on LWL? Culture shock etc.

If you dismiss these as trivial, you are in for trouble. When Granma goes to the hospital and she can't run down and visit. When family gets married and she can't go.

I posted examples of couples that have been together relatively long. Many of your success stories are still waiting to bring them up. Trust me that is the easy part.

[david]

... in response to Re: Whoaaaaa hold on..., posted by Houndog on May 6, 2001

I really cannot come up with my list. When I met ladies in Colombia, I was young and just could not get married yet. I dated them just like I would date here in the Sates.  But I did date alot of ladies for awhile just by meeting them socially.  Several of ladies would have made wonderful wives and I am kinda of kicking myself in the butt now.

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: Re: Whoaaaaa hold on..., posted by david on May 6, 2001

Well David Thank you for being honest about it and not simply making up a list.

And as you say, you met 'socialy', women that you speak kindly of. Which is basicaly what we are saying. That a social type of setting 'of some kind' enhances 'the odds' of meeting 'marriage material type' women for the 'average guy'.

No one ever said it wasn't 'possible'to meet cold calling. We were simply trying to advise on 'the odds' for the average traveler.

Houndog