In Too Much of A Hurry

[Willy]

... in response to Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hurry, posted by Tom on Mar 10, 2001

Some of these guys are so negative just because they have been shat on. Give me a break! Guys over here here get dissed and dumped all the time, does that mean we swear off women alltogether? I don't think so...Hey, I'll take my chances. I do see what the nay sayers are getting at though, we should use some wisdom in our decisions of the heart. Please don't go flaming me either, it doesn't work. I must admit, its a strange road we have chosen to travel, but it has also been a wonderful one.
Willy

[madmal]

... in response to Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hurry, posted by Tom on Mar 10, 2001

n/t

[humabdos]

... in response to Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hurry, posted by Tom on Mar 10, 2001

Have you been to a filipino cyber cafe in the philippines and seen what goes on there? Some of these girls are working five or six men ! It might be more like 65% gold diggers the rest keepers. But 80/20 sounds more resonable

[FL]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hurry, posted by humabdos on Mar 10, 2001

Just a thought...I wonder how many sisters, cousins and best friends are sitting next to each other in these cafes getting "worked" by the same guy??  No, not for money, but with the "your the only one" "I'm coming there just for you"
etc., etc..........

[humabdos]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hurry, posted by FL on Mar 11, 2001

Plenty I would guess!  The USA is full of jerks and ass holes!

[FL]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hur..., posted by humabdos on Mar 11, 2001

My fiance got the story from a guy in Scotland. She took a week off from work, he went there, called her to meet and stood her up!!!! She took the chance of getting burned again and the rest is history, almost, waiting for our interview date, We Win!!!

[SteveG]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hurry, posted by humabdos on Mar 10, 2001

Humbados,

 If having multiple pen pals makes a person a scammer, then I must be one of the most notorious of all time - I wrote to 265 ladies!     I don't see how you can use  this as a basis to accuse the women of insincerity and dishonesty.  After all, whether you choose talking in a chat room or writing letters, either is just a method of introduction where you are getting to know the other person while seeking potential marriage partners.  It would be foolish for either person to commit after only a month or two of communication without ever meeting.   That IS the alternative you are asking, isn't it?  To communicate with one man exclusively right from the get-go?   I'm always amazed at the guys who have this double standard that they can write to many ladies, yet each lady is to write to him exclusively.   Why aren't the women allowed the same freedom to increase their odds of meeting someone who will love them?   Seems fair to me.

 Having said that, I do think the chat rooms are typically used by the younger, less mature ladies who most likely are there with friends just to have fun and maybe play at romance.  At least that is my impression with what I have seen of the chat rooms.   Does this make them scammers??  No, but it does make it less likely to develop into anything serious in my opinion.   OK, I have to get back to bed!  
                                   SteveG

[jfred]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hurry, posted by SteveG on Mar 11, 2001

Here here!  I quite agree with your assertion that women should be allowed to correspond with more than one man w/o being accused as something despicable.  EVERY guy I know who has gone this route was in communication with more than one girl, and many went to the PI with plans to MEET more than one.  Let's be fair.  It is not a crime to cover one's butt...

As for a girl being a gold digger/scammer because she got engaged to someone she had not met?  Puh-leeze... I am sure she will not actually marry him sight unseen.  A bit difficult to do, even in this internet age.  Getting engaged in this case just raises the bar of expectation that the relationship is worth more than a 15 peso postage stamp...

Jim

[curt]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hur..., posted by jfred on Mar 11, 2001

Anyone that gets engaged site unseen in marrying the idea, not the person.  It may work out but that does not change the basic fact.

[outwest]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hur..., posted by jfred on Mar 11, 2001

you dont think a girl accepting a proposal of marriage
from a guy she has not met in person is a bit desperate,
both on her part and on his??? You are just as bad as both
of them if you buy into that line of bs.
Yes we are all in this to
meet that special someone, and sure, some correspond to muliple penpals to cover their b@tts, but, if you tell the
person they are the "only one" , then mean it, if you are
corresponding to 5 penpals, just be honest, Lying does nothing but give both sides a bad name,

[SteveG]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: In Too Much of A..., posted by outwest on Mar 11, 2001

OutWest,
 Yeah, I agree that telling someone that you are the "Only One" should be honored at least until you meet.   If she told you that then she was wrong for it and I'm sorry you got in this situation.   But I still say the women you are likely to meet in chat rooms are the younger less mature ones.   Being less mature they will tend to be impulsive and express love based on the mood of the moment without thinking it through like a more mature woman.   They are still in the "Fairy Princess waiting on her Prince in shining armor" Phase of life and trying to court them from around the world is going to be shaky, in my opinion.  Think of it, they probably have Britney Spears as a role model and use words like "sooooooooooo" - they are just kids!  LOL   Or maybe I am just getting old.     When I was looking for pen pals I wrote mostly to 25 - 29 year olds simply because I didn't feel I had much in common with younger than that.
 If I were doing this over again today, I still wouldn't look any younger than late twenties and would still seek ladies from the more rural areas who are forced to do most of their correspondence by paper, not computer.    
                                         SteveG

PS - Sorry if I seemed to be comming down hard on you earlier.  

[FL]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hur..., posted by jfred on Mar 11, 2001

It's not the multiple pen-pals that defines scammers per say, it's when multiple pen-pals are told they are the "only one" for rewards of gifts, $$$ and attention that being the "special" one might offer.
       I "met" many probable scammers in my search, but their easy to identify. Obviously the need for money comes up real fast, in the first 2-3 e-mails. I'd also receive "sanitized" responses to my letters, ie., no references to my last letter, no comments, follow up questions, or answers to simple questions that I would ask. The reminder that there is a difficulty that only money could solve was their primary topic. At first I'd be the gentleman and say adious...found someone, but after a while,I wouldn't bother with anymore e-mails. Don't recall ever getting a "Where have you been, missed your letters", They knew...no money from this fish.

[Pete]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hurry, posted by humabdos on Mar 10, 2001

Most of what I saw at the cafes were school kids playing Counterstrike or shouting over my shoulder as I railed other players in Quake III...as my fiancee likes to say...the biggest kid in the cafe. Most of the girls that I met over there engaged to foreigners were pretty nice...*shrug*

[Tom]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hurry, posted by humabdos on Mar 10, 2001

Yes i have been to a cyber cafe that is where you find your international whores,have you ever just went to the country or beach or just talk to the regular girls that work at the MANY MANY street markets this is where you find some of the real gems
tneal

[humabdos]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: In Too Much of A Hurry, posted by Tom on Mar 10, 2001

Yes I have Tom. I have been to the Philippines 7 times my shortest stay was 6weeks I have been north to south most of my stays were four months I met my  ex-wife that way and your right about the regular girls there are plenty of them! I love the Philippines and filipinas! I don't like big cities and didn't spend my time hanging out in Angeles with hookers.  I got my info from a filipina who sees first hand how the girls work three or four guys at a time just to suck money out of them!  No not all filipinas are gold diggers but many who are on the internet are out right scamers.  Humabdos