How long does the typical RW marriage last?

[Apk1]

... in response to Anyone have ideas on this?, posted by thesearch on Aug 1, 2002

I think there is a misunderstaning of the reason for for the financial support requirement, it is not to protect her...it is to protect the American taxpayers from foreign women who come here to get on welfare.

When my wife and I filed for AOS, the clerk read a statement to both of us to make sure we understood. The statement read that neither her nor I are allowed to apply for welfare for a (?) year period. We understood that the financial support agreement goes both ways...my wife is to support me in case we are divorced and I am incapable of working, I do the same for her if she cannot find work and needs government assistance.

Before I sent in my petition, I visited an immigration attorney...she basically said the same thing.My wife cannot apply for welfare, thats all that the financial support is there for.

Now, as far as divorce court...( I am no expert) but I did some research before I submitted my papers:
my understanding is that if she came here looking for a green card...and you figure this out after a few months of being married, you can get a lawyer to request an annulment. This will mean if you can sway the judge to evidence she had a different agenda other than forming a family...and he grants the annulment...she was never married, and thus did not fulfill her k-1 visa requirement...and nullifies the support agreement. If you go through a regular divorce...and she wants half of the community property, and her share of alimony...that is all she can expect. The divorce judge does not have any authority in his court over a federal matter: the financial support statement is not enforced by civil court.

You guys can correct me if I am wrong in my understanding, but be sure to get your information from an attorney..not some website...

apk

[KenC]

... in response to Re: Anyone have ideas on this?, posted by Apk1 on Aug 1, 2002

apk,
The annulment angle is a new one and it sounds logical.  I just wanted to add to this thread the advice I got from my Immigration Attorney before I brought Lena here.  He told me that getting her into the country was the hard part.  Once here, the INS will not force her to go back.  There are many many avenues to pursue to legalize her status, once she is in the country.  As you may or may not remember, she came here on a student visa.  Things probably have changed since 9/11 too.
KenC

[Stan B]

... in response to two years., posted by thesearch on Jul 30, 2002

that we met w/ was just recently married to a lady from asia and was still going thru the process himself. Thus not all INS officers think that this is that risky of a business...

[BruceS]

... in response to two years., posted by thesearch on Jul 30, 2002

YEs very valid post, but why didn't you ask them why
they couldn't remember any good relationshhips? Ya know why?
No one likes good news. Go pick up a paper and see if you can
find one article good for every sad, horrible, and such. The
ratio of good to bad my guess would be somewhere around 1 to
30.
   Just like you don't read much on boards from folks with
good marriages, so most you read are from the pissed off men
that jumped in quick, wanted a hottie, a house maid, really
anything but a best friend, wife, confident and lover.

   All my thoughts of course. 8-)   FWIW

Bruce

[Charles]

... in response to Re: two years., posted by BruceS on Jul 31, 2002

Bruce, I disagree that the men with good marriages don't post here.  You might want to check that one out as I don't believe that is accurate.

[BruceS]

... in response to Re: Re: two years., posted by Charles on Jul 31, 2002

Charles,
   You are right that this board seems to have more couples
writing that have good relationships, but over all across all
the boards this isn't the case. I should of said "posts to most
of the boards."
   I stand corrected that this is one board not quite like the others!!
Also that I'm glad it's not.

Cheers,
Bruce

[Charles]

... in response to How long does the typical RW marriage la..., posted by KingC on Jul 30, 2002

Kingsy, I think your questions were not well phrased which may explain the rough treatment you received (It's a rough crowd on this board!), but they are good questions.  You really ought to take Jack up on his lunch offer if you're truly serious about this.

1)  divorce:  My educated guess is that there is about the same chance of getting divorced with an AW, although some of the anecdotal data would suggest the chances of success are better with a RW than a comparable AW.  The key to any long term relationship is good communication, and if you can establish that you are way ahead of the game.  My wife and I live in a community with a very large Russian population, so we get to see a lot of RW/AM marriages.  Some of the RW/AM marriages that have failed have had these problems:
            - the RW comes from a cultural center, like St. Petersburg, Moscow, Novisibirsk, Kiev, etc. where there is a great deal of culture, and marries a man who enjoys hunting, beer, football, etc. and lives in a mountain cabin or some rural area.  They just don't have much in common.
            - the AM never met the RW's family and/or never visited her home.  A RW friend of my wife was recently divorced.  She met her AM in the Bahamas.  He never went to Russia.  
             - the man is controlling.  RW are extremely strong women.  Don't let the hype about being sweet and feminine fool you.  These women are used to being their own boss.  Now, if they love you and you are honest and fair with them and treat them with dignity and respect(as you should!), they will be everything the agency websites say they are and more, but don't cross them by being controlling or domineering.
             - big age difference (more than 10 yrs).  There are some that will disagree, but as the age difference widens, the chances of failure increase.  However, there are several people who have succeeded with large age differences, but it requires a lot of maturity by both parties.  If you're 30, you will probably be happier with woman around 25 instead of a 19-20 y.o.  There was a recent seriess of posts by a member of this board about a long trip to Russia where he met a large number of RW.  He was about your age and he seemed to relate better to the women closer to his age.  I encourage you to read the trip reports to get different people's perspective.

2)  pre-nup is usually not done.  If you do, you should probably have the document translated into Russian and make sure your wife has a Russian speaking attorney to represent her.  Otherwise, it may not hold up in court.

[KingC]

... in response to Re: How long does the typical RW marriag..., posted by Charles on Jul 30, 2002

Thanks Charles I appreciate the info.  I have seen a couple of different post that say that RWs are strong women.  I was wondering if you could shed some light on this.  I don't want to come across as lumping all RW into one group because they are individuals and each one is different; however, culture has a significant influence on people.  Do RW tend to be controlling?  Do they not like to compromise?

[Charles]

... in response to Re: Re: How long does the typical RW mar..., posted by KingC on Jul 31, 2002

I think it very important not to make generalizations, but, with that caveat, I would say that most RW are not controlling.  I think that most of them really want a man to be in charge of the family, but the Russian men, in general, do not want or cannot fulfill this role.  Basically, if you treat them right, they will treat you right.   As far as compromising, they are quite flexible on most things in my experience.

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to How long does the typical RW marriage la..., posted by KingC on Jul 30, 2002

I do not want to sound like I am being nasty, but you say you are 30 years old and are in investment banking.  Now I know why we are having the problems with our major financial insitutions.  Is the grass green?  Is water wet?  Do marriages last?  Are Russians human?  Hmm...............

[KingC]

... in response to Re: How long does the typical RW marriag..., posted by Bobby Orr on Jul 30, 2002

(1)My profile does not say I'm in investment banking, it
  says I'm in the investment industry.  

(2)Your comments are not tactful at all and constitute
  flaming IMHO.

(3) The main problem we are having is not with our
   financial institutions but with a few CEO who are      
   crooks and cook their companies financial statements.

(4) 30 years old is not that young.

(5) Any more responses like this and I will cease posting
   on this forum and post on a couple of others where the
   members are polite and give "insightful" responses.  
   Thanks.

[Rags]

... in response to Re: Re: How long does the typical RW mar..., posted by KingC on Jul 30, 2002

RW will eat you alive. Run fast and far. With your attitude towards women and marriage you will be nothing but scammer fodder.

What's that smell??? MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: Re: How long does the typical RW mar..., posted by KingC on Jul 30, 2002


Post an insightful question, and you'll get an insightful answer...

"How long will a typical marriage last" is not even an intelligent question let alone an insightful one.

You're right... 30 years old is not all that young... any 30 year old should know better than to ask a question like that...

What do you want from us?

You tell us nothing about you, and want us to predict how long your marriage to a Russian would last?

Hmmm... OK... I'll play...

With you: five minutes.

Next question?

[Oh... yeah... THIS was a flame... Bobby was being nice...]

[thesearch]

... in response to Re: How long does the typical RW marriag..., posted by Bobby Orr on Jul 30, 2002

I think you are being a bit harsh. I think he just did not pick his words well, that is all.

[KingC]

... in response to Re: Re: How long does the typical RW mar..., posted by thesearch on Jul 30, 2002

thesearch I think you may be right.  I can be a little hot tempered sometimes.  He could have just been joking anyways.