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Author Topic: Question about leaving the US  (Read 11226 times)
ChrisB
Guest
« on: July 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

My wife has an acquaintance that came over from Russia and married the man on the second day. They have been living in California for the past 3 months or so.

The man is doing very poorly in financial matters. He lost a job and for the past several weeks he just sits at home reading newspapers. And I don't mean looking at the Jobs Offered section.

When her mother calls (she is living here in Georgia) to her, the man now won't speak to her, like he once did. Now, mama has learned that they are planning to fly to Italy to visit his parents.

Her green card interview was scheduled for the next week (or at least soon), and he called to reschedule it. The girl said it was set for six months out.

I have a feeling that he's not planning to come back. He is in credit card debt for many thousands of dollars ($20,000 to $40,000) and is heavily upside down on a house he paid a premium price for.

My wife said that the man got visas to Italy for both. I didn't think the person that came over on fiance visa could leave the country and come back without a green card of something? I came to the US with my wife and I already married, so I am not fully aware of all details of the special conditions involved for travel.

Any thoughts about this? What would be the result if they did leave and actually try to return to the US?

Thanks

Chris

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wsbill
Guest
« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Question about leaving the US, posted by ChrisB on Jul 26, 2002

Geez...  Folks this is a perfect illustration as to what can happen to YOU...

Any one here worked for WorldCom ?

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A2463-2002Jul25.html

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Wayne1
Guest
« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Question about leaving the US, posted by ChrisB on Jul 26, 2002

Chris,

Ya know it's a really bad habit to meddle in peoples lives like this.  Even though you haven't posted names, I don't think it's even right to be posting details such as you have.  I'm sure if they read what you posted, they would not be happy.  It's very personal stuff your mucking around in.  The fact is that she is not a child.  She is a grown women and can make decisions for her own life.  He is not beating her that you know of.  They are both adults in an adult world.

This is precisely why alot of guys don't encourage their wives to make friends with other Russian women.
Because of stories like this.

Just because it is a Russian/American marriage does that make it any more right for you to get involved?  There are probably at least 10 or 12 far more serious injustices on your neiborhood street that you could try to get involved in.  You lookin to get into social work or something?

When I was married to my Russian wife, she had some friends giving her some real crappy advice on the basis of one side of the story.  Be very careful, because the same thing could happen to you when you hit a few bumps in the road, and I guarentee you won't like reading about your details on this board posted by someone who only heard half of the story.

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ChrisB
Guest
« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Question about leaving the US, posted by Wayne1 on Jul 26, 2002

Well, I asked a question about the ability for the girl (grown woman) to leave the US and return.

My wife is concerned that the mother may lose her daughter. She has no idea who the man's parents are, nor where they actually live in Italy. We are suggesting that she get all details before they leave, which is very soon.

So far, I am not "involved" as you say. I am throwing out some information because it all seems very strange. If a pattern in the situation sounds familiar to someone, I hope they can say something.

Is something terrible going on here, I don't know. I don't want anything bad to occur to anyone. You can read on a few major news agencies about how women get sold into "slavery". Sad fact, but it happens.

I did give them all "names", just to avoid confusion.

After saying all that, I do understand your point. If I can urge the girl's mother to become more involved, I will do so. If someone here can offer better insight I'd welcome that too.

But, to sit back and turn a blind eye, I just find it difficult to do. The mother calls to speak to my wife almost daily. None of them is fully aware of all the legal  complications that can arise now.

Thank you for your input, it will help keep me focused.

Chris

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BrianN
Guest
« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Question about leaving the US, posted by ChrisB on Jul 26, 2002

While it may sound fishy to be fishing in dark waters, the concern is well placed, as it is SHE that may not be able to get back in.  Yeah baby, we'll go to Italy for a while, then we'll see what happens after that.  Charles is correct on this point for sure.  There ARE TWO sides to it, BUT, this could eventually turn out to be a tradgedy for ONE.  The risk is just too great for her to leave imo.
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RW
Guest
« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Question about leaving the US, posted by ChrisB on Jul 26, 2002

Chris,

I certainly understand your desire to help and give advice, but I am afraid stories like that always have two sides to it, so it is dangerous in a way to give any sort of advice.

There is a strange behavior on both sides - him postponding interview when it is almost there (it is much easier to buy tickets or go to Italy week later) and hers decision to marry on the second day, especially since her Mom is already here.

Assuming that the story you posted is the only facts you provided - my very simple advice would be for her not to go to Italy. Plain and simple. Whatever decisions he takes while he is there, that will be another story.

I am sorry, but sounds like she finally has to make a choice.


Russian Wife

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ChrisB
Guest
« Reply #6 on: July 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Question about leaving the US, posted by RW on Jul 26, 2002

You are quite correct about the strange behavior. The whole situation stinks. I met mama and daughter when I was in Russia. Mama came here to Atlanta on a student visa to be with a Frenchman. Now he's moved to Costa Rica and she quickly married a US citizen. She did find a rather nice average man and they seem happy. I'm glad for that, but I don't like how she played the government.

Even though her daughter didn't like them man, her mother wanted her to marry this "rich man" in California. They could take care of mama, because life with the Frenchman wasn't working as she thought. He wasn't a US citizen and that created problems.

But then mama married the American and is much happier. I wish them well.

I don't think that mama nor daughter are aware of restrictions of returning to the US if she leaves. That may really be what the man wants. That is, to leave the US and not come back.

It's not looking good from the replies I read so far.

Chris

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donb2222
Guest
« Reply #7 on: July 28, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Question about leaving the US, posted by ChrisB on Jul 26, 2002

fr
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wsbill
Guest
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Re: Question about leaving the US, posted by ChrisB on Jul 26, 2002

Folks, this story sounds really flaky....are you going to swallow this story - hook, line and sinker ?
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Charles
Guest
« Reply #9 on: July 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Question about leaving the US, posted by ChrisB on Jul 26, 2002

If she leaves the U.S. before her green card interview, she cannot reenter unless she obtains advance parole from the INS which will allow reentry.  Without advance parole, an I-485 applicant is deemed to have abandoned the green card application when she leaves the U.S.  She should obtain the advance parole application form from the INS website and file for advance parole at the local INS office. The time to process this application appears to vary signficiantly from office to office, so consult the local procedures. Since 9/11, advance paroles have been limited to sixty days absent exceptional circumstances.  In other words, you must return to the U.S. within 60 days or your green card application is deemed abandoned. I would strongly advise your wife's friend to take control of the immigration process from her husband if her long term plans are to stay in America.  She may want to claim abuse and abandonment because if her husband's financial situation and, more importantly, his attitude does not change, he may not meet the economic requirements to sponsor the green card application.  If she needs help, there is plenty of free advice on this board
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donb2222
Guest
« Reply #10 on: July 28, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Question about leaving the US, posted by Charles on Jul 26, 2002

Would you want your wife to claim abuse if you or she decided to divorce?   To advise someone to lie IMHO is very irresponsible.  
 Would you want someone advising your wife to lie about you if your marriage does not work out?
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Charles
Guest
« Reply #11 on: July 28, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Charles....what about your wife?, posted by donb2222 on Jul 28, 2002

I never said she should lie.  I said she may want to claim abuse based on her husband's total abandonment.  The man is not supporting her and isn't trying to get a job and is further requesting that she go with him to Italy without a green card and without advanced parole.  Based on the original post, there is no evidence she is a green card shark as you suggest, but there may be another side to the story that we don't know about.  In any event, if she is interested in staying in the U.S., she ought to get some independent legal advice.
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donb2222
Guest
« Reply #12 on: July 28, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Charles....what about your wife?, posted by Charles on Jul 28, 2002

Not looking for a job is not abuse, and getting your wife a visa to go to Italy is not abuse.
Advance parole was not mentioned, maybe she does have advance parole.
It sounds to me like he wants to run off to Italy to avoid his fiancial responsibilities, and he DID get a visa for his wife to go with him.  Also, it sounds like the wife knows about his plan to stay in Italy, and since she came here to be with her mother, she does not want to go with him.
Anyway, nothing in the original post sounded abusive to me.
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donb2222
Guest
« Reply #13 on: July 28, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Charles....what about your wife?, posted by donb2222 on Jul 28, 2002

it sounds like the RW might be a green card shark.
Why else would she marry a deadbeat after being in the US for ONLY two days?  Sounds to me like she just wanted to come to America to be close to her mother.
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mudd
Guest
« Reply #14 on: July 26, 2002, 04:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Question about leaving the US, posted by Charles on Jul 26, 2002

What kind of advice is that, (claim abuse) where is the abuse in this case?Huh? Maybe he mislead her on his financial situation, or he lost it all after she came here, (stock market) but I see no grounds of abuse. My question is if he is in such a financial mess, how could he qualify for a k1 visa for his fiancée? If he did mislead her on his financial situation, and he doesn’t seem to care, have her talk to an immigration lawyer.
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