My experience with this

[squirecam]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: One Question though, posted by Richard on May 1, 2002

I would look at that book then Richard. At least it gives hints on ways to romantically raise the issue.

Squirecam

[MarkInTx]

... in response to My experience with this, posted by Phillip on May 1, 2002

It is great when guys who have made the journey and been successful take the time to pass along things.

I've never seen one post that went from A to Z like you just did.

That took a lot of time, and we appreciate it!

[Charles]

... in response to My experience with this, posted by Phillip on May 1, 2002

Philip, this was an outstanding post and I echo all of the positive comments below.  Just a couple of things:  1)  You do not need a Shengen visa if you are carrying a U.S. passport and leaving the airport in a Western European country, although you will need a Russian transit visa if you are travelling to Ukraine via Moscow.  Your wife may need one but in almost all cases they leave Warsaw as soon as they get the K-1 visa and fly direct to the U.S. -- I agree with Joe that the round trip ticket is a lot cheaper - just explain that to them and it should work.  2)  I would be interested in your experiences if your wife was required to learn to drive after arrival in the U.S.  Of all the "difficult" things we have had to do, learning to drive was sometimes harrowing.  Tania was deafly afraid of an accident, and I wasn't the most patient teacher.  Fortunately, her Russian girlfriend supplemented my efforts.  3)  I haven't noticed the weight gain (my wife goes on a diet if she gains a couple of pounds.  We have a lot of Russian friends in the D.C. area and I haven't noticed any big women.  I agree about the walking factor but what I have noticed that RW have much different eating habits - they eat slowly and take small portions, so they don't put on the pounds after arriving here.

[Phillip]

... in response to Re: Great Post!!, posted by Charles on May 1, 2002

If you mean required by law, no.  At least in Georgia, you can get an ID at the DMV that doesn't give you driving priveledges, but functions as a full ID.  If you mean required by me, no, but living in Atlanta, with me working, I figured what will she do stuck at home by herself?  What if there is an accident?  When we visited my mom right after we got married (and I mean RIGHT AFTER - 2 days.  I still owe her a honeymoon...) I was showing her where I went to high school.  We were swinging and mine broke (swung too high on a rusty chain) - I landed right on my collarbone.  We were there alone, and she panicked - couldn't drive, didn't know how to contact my mom, didn't know where she was - nothing.  I vowed right after that to teach her.  It took 3 or 4 months, and it wasn't easy, but she drives like a pro now (better than me, in fact - not nearly as careless).  So I would say, it is definitely worth the time to teach your lady how to drive.

[wsbill]

... in response to My experience with this, posted by Phillip on May 1, 2002

Just kidding everyone.  

Great post... We need to read more posts like this, trip reports and less of the tit4tat fighting that goes on.

[WmGo]

... in response to Re: You mean she's gonna get BIG ?, posted by wsbill on May 1, 2002

The trick is to pay close attention to the size of their ankles and wrists. I only date women with very small ankles and wrists. Although not a guarantee, it is a significant indicator that the woman will probably not pork out during middle age (or sooner). Thick ankles is a red flag

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: gonna get BIG ?, posted by WmGo on May 1, 2002

"There's a fat girl inside that skinny girl just waiting to get out" and he was usually right. The girls he siad that about, plumped up considerably after marriage. Now I got an inkling of how he did it, looked at ankles and wrists, I'll bet!

-- Jeff S.

[WmGo]

... in response to As a friend of mine used to say..., posted by Jeff S on May 2, 2002

LOL! Caveat emptor!!

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: gonna get BIG ?, posted by WmGo on May 1, 2002

That does make sense... Good observation.

Just added that to my list. (red flag list).

[keithandkatya]

... in response to My experience with this, posted by Phillip on May 1, 2002

First of all I want to thank you for putting the time and effort into helping newbies. It has been my strong opinion that this is what this site is about and not all the other childish stuff that sometimes gets on the board.

I would also like to congratulate you on your 4 year marriage... I will keep an eye out for further posts from you ... I was married back in January to a lovely girl from Cherkassy... she is a jewel...

Your post was long and had a lot of meat to it... I agree with 95 % of it... a few disagreements or at least differences of experience from me:
1.I was only in Ukraine for less then 10 days - about 3 of those in Kiev and I never experienced the part about having the money ready - actually my wife was critical of me taking my money out of my wallet in public view because she thought I might become a target of thieves-

2. I would disagree about having to go to the INS soon after she arrives... as I recall we did not do it until we were married ... about 10 weeks after her arrival- so that we could apply for AOS...

3. The old age difference argument... yes of course a 70 year old guy looking for a teenager is a bit much but someone in their 40s looking for someone in their late 20s or someone in their 50s looking for someone in their 30s is not in my opinion always a bad thing... perhaps down the road there will be a problem but so far it has not reared its head in my marriage... and we know two other couples both of which just recently had babies and it has not been a problem... just a small sample I know but ....

4. Learning the language before you go... yes I think it is great advice BUT - if you are not sure how things are going to turn out and you are extremely busy with work and life dont let not knowing the language stop you from going over there and giving it a whirl... if you do go -- I would suggest either knowing someone who can translate that you trust or do the agency bit.

5. My last bit... agencys... there is no one way of doing this and know several guys that had luck with agencys and tours etc.. it wasnt for me... I did it thru ads and had very good responses... to each his own

Okay so not bad... out of about 100 points ... I could only come up with about 5 differences of opinion... once again thanks for the post... and I hope you will post more... newbies and not so newbies will benefit
all the best,
Keith

[Phillip]

... in response to very good post...a few minor differences..., posted by keithandkatya on May 1, 2002

My wife is from Cherkassy, also!!  Where are you living right now?
1.  Maybe this is something that had changed since we were there last, or was not very widespread?  I don't know.  I do know that, as homogeneous and slow-moving as FSU countries are, there are still major differences in cultural mores even among individuals (which could explain a lot of the conflicting info over at the Brama BBB), and what was true even 6 months ago could have changed already.
2. We went about 3 weeks after she arrived, 2 weeks after we were married.  I should have clarified 'soon' better.
3. I agree.  I was using the story to show an extreme, that's all.  True that a lot of them don't mind up to 30-40 year age difference.  The couple I mentioned in the post, he was early 60's, she was mid 30's.  Age difference was not the reason it didn't work out.  Just advice for people to keep it in mind.
4.  Well, that may be true, but how long does it take to learn half a dozen useful phrases? I just meant it would be nice to learn things like 'Hello', 'How are things', 'The weather is very hot', etc.
5.  I wasn't agency-bashing, I was just pointing out an alternative to those that are hesitant to drop that much money.  Also, my wife attended one of these meetings before I wrote her, and she came away with a very negative impression (the girls were basically cattle; not the agency's fault, just a consequence of the tour setup itself).  
I am glad the post is receiving such positive responses.

[keithandkatya]

... in response to Re: very good post...a few minor differe..., posted by Phillip on May 1, 2002

Hey Philip,

Im in Florida..  wow your wife is from cherkassy too... great... cherkassy is an interesting place and though I didnt get to see all of it.. it was a bit run down...though I would never say it to the cherkassy natives.. because one they are already know it and two - it would be rather rude in my opinion...  Kiev was in great shape last year and it compares very well with almost  glad you took the time to clarify a few differences and now I see - there really are not that many differences about the INS and the language... I tried to learn a few phrases.. and I have learned a bit more since but I guess I was just reacting to a few posters who have implied you should be competent in Russian before you travel and when you are not sure it will work out before you go I think that may disuade a few indiviuals and that would be a shame... anyway... like I said before you sound like a nice guy and thanks again for the GREAT INFO... AND THE TIME YOU TOOK TO HELP   KUDOS MY FRIEND

all the best,
Keith

[keithandkatya]

... in response to very good post...a few minor differences..., posted by keithandkatya on May 1, 2002

After reading your post I put my profile up... for anyone searching archives..  you will see my posts going back for quite a long time under the name keith...

[tfcrew]

... in response to ok ok tfcrew... i have a profile now... ..., posted by keithandkatya on May 1, 2002

....cities I've been all over FLA ! My Svetlana is from Odessa....still curious ..ya'll take care,
Karl

[tim360z]

... in response to My experience with this, posted by Phillip on May 1, 2002

on a short list of the very best.  Thanks, Tim