Should this be considered a Red Flag???

[Jski]

... in response to Re: I agree, posted by Quasimoto on Nov 12, 2002

q

[Quasimoto]

... in response to Steve, You got mail..... nt, posted by Jski on Nov 12, 2002

.

[Pordzhik]

... in response to Re: Whow! Thanks, now I have my educatio..., posted by Quasimoto on Nov 12, 2002

their fannybags?

[Jeff S]

... in response to Yes, you have some good points, posted by juio99 on Nov 12, 2002

.. being the language of the world, and it being important that your gf/wife be good at it. But imagine being married to someone who's native language is not English. In my case, my wife watches TV, talks to many of her friends, her daughter, her family, and often times when we go out to dinner and other events, in her native tongue. If it's OK for you that you have no clue what's going on, that's fine. That I can speak her language well, we can enjoy movies together, socialize at parties, have fun in resturaunts, joke with friends & relatives, etc. - things you'll find impossible if you are "not going to spend one minute learning Russian." Like I said, that's fine if you don't mind being excluded from conversations. I suspect your gf/wife will find it tiring to speak only English and will yearn to hear & speak her native tongue after being here a while. I know I do when abroad. Just some things to consider, your mileage may vary.

-- Jeff

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Re: Should this be considered a Red ..., posted by Zink on Nov 12, 2002

My wife and I spoke little of each other's language when we met. Did it make things more difficult? Sure! Looking back I'm glad I hung in there for three years of misunderstandings, long involved conversations with both people flipping through dictionaries, and the frustrations of it all. That was 16 years ago, though and I'm sure glad I went through it. Would I do it over again? You bet! The rewards of a great marriage, getting better with each passing day, trump what seemed like lots of effort at the time, but was really just some of the dues it takes to play.

All too many people seem to approach this international marriage scene as how to get it done in the least amount of time, for the least amount of money, with the least amount of risk, and the least amount of effort. I've personally never been able to have anything to do with people, especially not romantic interests, comply with any kind of pre-planned approach like that

I took the road less traveled, and that has made all the difference. (R. Frost)

- Jeff S.

[Oscar]

... in response to Should this be considered a Red Flag???, posted by Chris F on Nov 12, 2002

You mention that this is only her fouth letter but that she has yet to ask you for any money yet..  It's still a tad early for that, even for a rather unsophisticated scammer.  Just be a little patient and see what happens.  If she is legit, you will find out.  If she is a scammer, I would say that if you respond favorably to her expressing herself, THAT is when she will hit you with needing money so she can continue to write to you etc..
It is my opinion that no honest, self-respecting RW will ask a man for money that she has never met.  A couple of guys have disagreed with this but I believe it to be true..

For the most part, these are not wishy-washy women... they usually know what/who they want pretty early on and don't mess around or play games (at least the legit ones).  It's very different than with AW in this respect.

Good luck..

[Zink]

... in response to Should this be considered a Red Flag???, posted by Chris F on Nov 12, 2002

From what I've seen it's very rare for a RW to express love, even after they're commited to someone. The serious ones don't run around saying those words on a whim. But I know from personal experience that the translation programs take away a lot of the subtlety in our languages. The one I use translates "like" as "lyubov(love)" all the time. Be careful but don't jump to any conclusions yet. If it's a setup time will show it. Scammers don't tend to be a patient bunch. If the lady is paying for her own internet to write to you, what have you got to lose?

[mender]

... in response to Should this be considered a Red Flag???, posted by Chris F on Nov 12, 2002

Of course, she doesn't love you, yet. She knows it, you know it. But she seems, so far, to be trying to, establishing more closeness. She realizies she is a lone voice, in a sea of thousands of voices, clamoring for your attention.
You're going to have to play it by ear for now, and just go with the flow. Time is the only way of telling, for sure. Your journey is just starting, to find out, if you two are, made for each other. More emails, trips to visit her, etc.. to understand her better, and give you a chance, to put your Dick Tracy skills to work.

[tim360z]

... in response to Should this be considered a Red Flag???, posted by Chris F on Nov 12, 2002

...a crude fantasy written to lonely men to begin to fleece them of their dollars.  Read the archives.  Doya really think the she/he is in love with you???  C'mon.