patience is a virtue

[mck]

I have realized that bringing a girl up here from any latin country takes alot of patience and understanding. I have lived as a foreign exchange student in Spain when I was younger and I understand what it takes to live in another country. I explained to my girlfriend that when she comes up here she will not have a car and will probably have to walk a little further to go to the store then in Guadalajara and that she might be bored out of her mind while I am at work. I also said she has to be a very strong person to live up here and adapt and that I would work with her and that no matter what happens we will make it work. But I can tell you one thing, she is so relieved that I speak enough spanish to understand what she feels emotionally, and everything else. She even said to me "I could not imagine living with a Gringo who spoke no spanish, that would be so difficult for me". I think it is also important that the woman has the emotional maturity to move to a new country. That is why I think 29 is a good age in terms of maturity for a woman. I could realistically understand how a 20-23 year old girl who did not speak english and a gringo who did not speak a word of Spanish would give up after a few months. It would be very frustrating I can imagine. All I know is, with all the immigrartion lawyers, english classses, headaches, airplane tickets and all the other stuff, after a year or two both of us can look back at it and laugh together about "living la vida loca". Just putting in my 2 cents. Some guys just throw in the towel to quick, with determination I believe anything can work.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to patience is a virtue, posted by mck on Apr 7, 2002


I enjoyed your post.

However... this:

"Some guys just throw in the towel to quick, with determination I believe anything can work"

I cannot agree with.

Marriage takes two people to make it work. You can't make a marriage work by yourself -- even without the cultural differences.

Believe me... I tried.

If BOTH people have determination... YES! Anything can work...

[HappyInBrazil]

... in response to patience is a virtue, posted by mck on Apr 7, 2002

"with determination I believe anything can work."

Yes, anything could work, in theory, but step back and think if it makes sense.

I think knowing yourself, setting limits and standing by them is something that separates the men from the boys.  

But I can understand if you're not familiar with this idea of reasonable limits, because it seems to have become unfashionable in US culture.

[mck]

... in response to Setting limits and standing by them., posted by HappyInBrazil on Apr 8, 2002

I believe if you love someone enough though reasonable limits have no meaning. You should do whatever it takes to make it work, and if you trust that person and that person trusts you, you have nothing to worry about. This is the reason American women like me to. To be honest with you , I have never really had any problems with American women and they have always treated me well because I have always treated them well. I am just looking for something more serious and want to settle down that is why I picked a Latin woman. For my age I make excellent money and do not mind spending it on women lol and so what if they hit ya in the pocket book a little. If you are cheap and refuse to help out your girl's family in Colombia or whereever that could lead to problems possibly in the future but if you are a good guy and offer to help then you will be greatly appreciated by her and her family. No girl wants to marry a guy who doesn't care about her family nor does a girl want to marry a cheap guy.

[HappyInBrazil]

... in response to Re: Setting limits and standing by them., posted by mck on Apr 9, 2002

n/t

[JunFan]

... in response to patience is a virtue, posted by mck on Apr 7, 2002

I'm fluent in Spanish also.  Whooopie.  

Man, good luck.  You are gonna need it.

I'll give you one hint:  bored Colombianas at home while you work without transportation is not a good combination.

"Who is more foolish, the fool or the fool that follows him"
~Yoda

[mck]

... in response to FYI, posted by JunFan on Apr 8, 2002

she is not Colombian she is Mexican, any girl that comes here is not going to have a drivers license for the first couple weeks. One of the nice things about my town though is you can walk to everything or take the bus if you need to.

[JunFan]

... in response to FYI, posted by JunFan on Apr 8, 2002

The aforementioned quote should be attributed to Ben "Obi-Wan" Kenobi.  Please excuse the mess.

[greg]

... in response to patience is a virtue, posted by mck on Apr 7, 2002

I'm hearing impaired and speak no Spainish..Hope to travel to SA one day. A Requiring mind want to know of my Chances??? Thanks, Mr Know it All. I feel lucky that someone like You on Board lol. greg