My Dad wants to learn to speak Russian!

[Quasimoto]

My Dad called me a few weeks ago, and right off the bat asked me how to say hello in Russian.

Seems a 30 year old Russian lady (Ukraine) started working there in December, and has the whole Court House turned upside down. He said when she walks in the building, you could hear a pin drop. His 60+ year old buddy at work is having fantasies of marriage. He described her as about slender, athletic, and 5'8" tall, with black hair in a braid down to her waist, and the most beautiful legs he has ever seen. He mentioned that the women at work completely ignore her, and seem to hate her.

He found out yesterday, while out riding his bike, that she lives within 3 blocks of where he lives. Now he wants to know how to say goodbye, and is looking at Ukrainian maps. He told me he thinks finding a wife over there was a good idea. (I am only engaged, and will not be married until March or April) I find the whole turnaround and circumstances rather entertaining. I guess this lady is single. He says what he can't get over is how soft spoken, but friendly she is. She doesn't seem to be too beautiful to talk to anyone. She is coming over to meet my dad's wife this week. I don't think, knowing her, that this will go very well. His wife is about as hard edged as an ice-skate blade.

[KenC]

... in response to My Dad wants to learn to speak Russian!, posted by Quasimoto on Feb 19, 2002

Steve,
The "hate" being displayed by the AW in your story is the usual.  Aw like to be secure in knowing they have equal rights and can be everything a man can be, but when a RW shows up on the scene, they realize what they gave up to be equal.  The fact that a woman can be feminine AND intelligent AND classy is beyond their grasp.  They (AW) just never knew that a woman could be all that without becoming more man like.  The RW is a threat to their lifestyle and will be resented by most AW.
KenC

[Quasimoto]

... in response to AW are intimidated by RW, posted by KenC on Feb 19, 2002

My my experience I would have to agree!

Steve

[RW]

... in response to AW are intimidated by RW, posted by KenC on Feb 19, 2002

Ken,

with all due respect, I have to disagree with you. What are you talking about? What hate? What intemidation?

So far I saw only in Russia other women getting intimidated to the absurd situation about other woman's looks and intelligence. I have never seen anything even close to that here in USA.

May be I am lucky with people I know and people I work with, but they all have been great - both men and women. All women are very nice, supportive and intelligent. Most of the women I work with dress very nice, have good families and are very nice and pleasant to talk to. There is a big group of women who go to the aerobics class or just jogging during lunch, so not all of them are fat feminizies as many like to portrait it here.

I met intelligent, feminine and beautiful women in Russia and I met them here, in USA as well.

Russian Wife

[KenC]

... in response to what are you talking about?, posted by RW on Feb 19, 2002

Russian Wife,
The "hate" word came from Steve's post and that may be a little too strong.  But I have witnessed AW's ire towards Lena first hand.  Maybe it is the "age" thing, or the "beauty" thing but the jealousy was very obvious.  Glad to hear you have not experienced any negativity.
KenC

[John F]

... in response to what are you talking about?, posted by RW on Feb 19, 2002

My wife experiences it daily.  She has made many friends here and the mix is about 50 percent Russian 50 percent American, but she still encounters it.  Even in school she has female professers who make their resentment obvious.

[John K]

... in response to what are you talking about?, posted by RW on Feb 19, 2002

I've found that it depends on the environment that you are currently in that helps dictate how a RW will be received.  In areas where the women have a stronger and more well defined positions of "authority", there seems to be less acceptance of Russian women.  The courthouse would be a prime example of where you would find such a general attitude.  In areas where women form a more relaxed, supportive and cooperative union, a Russian woman is going to be much better accepted.

I have been lucky enough to work in relaxed and open environments.  My wife is easily accepted by all my coworkers, male and female, even though Marina is too shy to be comfortable with them.  Sadly, I wish my family environment was as supportive...

[Quasimoto]

... in response to Each environment is different, posted by John K on Feb 19, 2002

Interesting! As about half of the women there are attorneys, legal aids, and local government officials.

Steve

[PrincetonLion]

... in response to AW are intimidated by RW, posted by KenC on Feb 19, 2002

Maybe the reason is simple: women can easily see the things what men cannot see...

[Quasimoto]

... in response to Maybe the reason is simple ..., posted by PrincetonLion on Feb 19, 2002

The impressions I gave are my father's words. It is strange, but he is very concerned about her. He thinks that there is a Communist under every bed. He was the most Zenophobic person I have ever known, and was upset about my relationship with Tanya. Then he met this woman, and things changed. He was stunned with the whole package this woman had: Intelligent, soft, feminine, and as he says; "stunningly beautiful". Now he is still Zenophobic, but is real concerned about this woman's relations at work. He is not in love with her, he is 75, but he is facinated by her, and doesn't like the way other women treat her and talk about her. That is it! He says she stays at her desk, never leaves for lunch, and is always alone.

Steve

[amerikanka99]

... in response to AW are intimidated by RW, posted by KenC on Feb 19, 2002

Be careful when you lump AW together.  Most of us don't care AT ALL who you marry.

[Quasimoto]

... in response to My friends aren't, posted by amerikanka99 on Feb 19, 2002

No offense Amerikanka! I appreciate your views of this and other issues here. It is nice to hear such openness. However, please note that the first time I heard this notion was here, posted by a lady I believe was from Portland: Valeriya, or something like that, who said she was having trouble at the office with ladies resentment. Evidently she was rather attractive.

The biggest evidence of such behavior I found at the Expatriot Newpaper in Moscow. An American woman writer wrote an article entitled: "Are American Women Destined to Spend the Weekend With Their VCRs?". Her conclusion was "YES, we are, because we know we can't compete!" Those were her words. By the way, she was rather attractive actually. But she compared the social qualities of the two nationalities, feminine qualities, education and breath of conversations, etc. She also mentioned that most American women hated Russian women, and slandered them, and would gang up to even throw Russian women out of Moscow clubs like the Boarshead, where a lot of British and Americans hang out. She mentioned that American women referred to them as Bimbos, barbie-dolls, and stupid. This gal defended the RWs she new as very educated, and just possessing the qualities that men admired and were drawn too. It was shocking really, that this lady was defending the Russian women against her own American aquaintances.

[amerikanka99]

... in response to Re: OOPS !, posted by Quasimoto on Feb 20, 2002

Expat women in the FSU do get the short end of the dating stick.  Its 'hog heaven' for the western men, and slim pickings for the western women.  I agree with the editorial you read.  My girlfriends used to jokingly complain about it, but understood the reality of the situation.  Frankly, I swore that I would never bring a Ukrainian man to America, and I was very upfront about that with the Ukrainian man that I seriously dated prior to the one I married (and brought to America).

As much as the expat women complain about the paucity of dating prospects, from my experience, they are not bitter or jealous of FSU women.  They just understand that they are competing on a completly different playing field than they are used to in the US.  At least this is true of the women who spend extended time there.

As for how women in the US treat your FSU brides, I have no first hand knowledge.  My husband has been treated with respect by everyone we have encountered here.  I am sorry that your wives don't receive the same warm reception.