I need advise; from guys w/wives with kids??

[Quasimoto]

I have two questions:

On a serious note, my fiancee has a 5 year old boy. Does she need her X's permission, or some court action to be allowed to take him out of Ukraine?

Has the INS chnaged it's rulings on married persons and the seemingly rediculous waiting period to get the VISA into the US.

Steve

[Quasimoto]

... in response to I need advise; from guys w/wives with ki..., posted by Quasimoto on Feb 19, 2002

Thanks everybody!

[thesearch]

... in response to I need advise; from guys w/wives with ki..., posted by Quasimoto on Feb 19, 2002

I have not heard of one problem yet from anyone. Even in the United States one parent can take a child out of the country without any question as long as they have a passport.

Hey, congrats on the date - man that is coming up fast.

So, what about the red flags that were surrounding some financial issues? How did that all calm down?  As I recall she did raise some  concern with you at one point. Are your concerns over or are you just deciding to ignore it?

Wish you the best

[Quasimoto]

... in response to Re: I need advise; from guys w/wives wit..., posted by thesearch on Feb 19, 2002

To be honest, I can't remember the issue specifically. I met this lady, Tanya, in the Borispol airport in Kyiv. Is that the same lady. Originally I went to meet another woman in Kharkov (ballet dancer), with a little girl with liver cancer. That did not go well. I loved her daughter, but I thought her mother was really spoiled and an attention seeker.

I haven't had any real problems with this lady. I have been back a couple of times and all is well except her son is a little out of control. I love her mother to death. The only reservation I have had is the same question every guy probably has; does she just want to get out of the country. I feel that question has been answered.

Steve

[greg2]

... in response to Re: Re: I need advise; from guys w/wives..., posted by Quasimoto on Feb 19, 2002

Yes Steve,

I guess at some level there always is for many guys somewhere back in the way back of one's brain - the question - how much is me and how much is wanting to get out. Now there is always going to be a mix in most cases - we just do not know where the line is drawn.

But, once you have her and her son here - let it go. Even if the mix was in favor of the country (You would know I am sure)- once she is here and really gets to know you it all changes to what it becomes. And, only you and her have power over that destiny in the final analysis. This is where any doubt or questions on your part of expression can hurt the relationship.

The only time for concern is in the prep stages. Once she is here it is a mute point and all there is left is doing every thing needed to make it happen.

With her son, he may act out. If you handle this in a way that gains the respect of your wife, the impact will be immense. What will gain her respect is not always the way you think an issue should be handled. This is where your challenge lies.

Good luck to you.

I am sorry Steve, I think I must have mixed your story in with a bit of another Steve's for some reason. It was a case whereby money was sent for one reason and used by the lady for another reason without consulting Steve and this had him a bit concerned.

[Mike]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I need advise; from guys w/w..., posted by greg2 on Feb 19, 2002

My RW and I talk about this sometimes and we still haven't figured out why it seems that many Russian children ( usually boys so far ) are high strung. She looks at American children around us and notices how well behaved they are. Yes I know we have high strung kids here too, but it seems to be common there.

I have heard of this situation being the cause of AM and RW relationships falling apart. I do know that this behavior can be corrected but I hope for your sake she will allow you to help in this without thinking you're just being mean. What I mean by this is that when a child here behaves this way you must be firm and lay down the laws and stick to them without giving in to the child, and if she knows nothing about tough love, or whatever method you decide will work best, then you should try to educate her on this and discuss it with her at the proper time. I'm just going by what a counslor told a female friend of mine when her child was acting out, and being high strung.
Mike

[jj]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: I need advise; from guys..., posted by Mike on Feb 19, 2002

I thought the sons of women I met in Ukraine to be very well adjusted and balanced.  Overall I was very impressed with the children I met.  I was also told that custody and permission of the father is required when seeking to leave the country.  Thsi may be Ukraine's policy and not Russia.

There was one lady who I liked (Lives in Crimea) but she has two boys (Teenagers) and I am not ready to take on such responsibility.

Does anyone have experience or information about Women marrying abroad and leaving their young adult children at home?  At what age does the visa not apply to sibblings??

[thesearch]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: I need advise; from guys..., posted by Mike on Feb 19, 2002

Mike, I read you loud and clear about how trying to deal with a discipline problem relative to your FSU's child can create some real friction and ultimately be viewed as a major reason that a relationship failed. That essentially was my warning to him.

If, I culminate with a relationship with a FSU women it is very likely that a child will be part of the package for me also. It might be good advice that if a man is finding that problems are surfacing because of the child - seeing a counselor with your lady and getting a professionals advice that can be agreed upon takes the pressure off the guy relative to being the bad guy. If there is a language problem, this will be more challenging for sure.

[Mike]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I need advise; from ..., posted by thesearch on Feb 19, 2002

You said it better then I did for sure! The best advice is to let a counselor do the dirty work. ( so to speak ) Regardless how good your temper is eventually a wild child will drive you crazy, but a mothers love can be blind! Add the two together and you'll end up with problems, so it's a good idea to think about how you'll handle this situation before it happens.
Mike

[JohnG]

... in response to I need advise; from guys w/wives with ki..., posted by Quasimoto on Feb 19, 2002

Steve,

My wife and her 9 year old daughter just came here in November from Russia, and I can say that they do NOT require any letter of permission from the father. Her daughter is listed in her Russian passport.

However, we did secure the permission anyway, just in case. But it has never been asked for.

John

[Dan]

... in response to I need advise; from guys w/wives with ki..., posted by Quasimoto on Feb 19, 2002

Steve,

I cannot vouch for the accuracy of this information - and it *is* about Russia, not Ukraine, but I hope it helps:

I will write about Russia; other republics' rules may (and do) differ.

It depends on whether the son is listed in his mother's international passport or not (or, perhaps he has a passport of his own). If he does not have a passport, nor is he listed in the mother's, the father's permission can be required on that stage (to allow the son to have a travel document, separate or joint with his mother).

As of May 2001, the American Embassy did not care about any permission from the fathers an any stage. I have not heard about any changes of that rule, I would be grateful if anybody let me know if there were any changes.

Nor was the permission required for actual crossing of the border.

If it does not present a problem, the lady is still recommended to get such a permission for the future purposes (if not in Russia, then for using in the U.S. if the need occur, e.g. for schooling purposes or anything else). So far I personally was never asked for any paper from my daughter's (4.5 yo) biological father, but one never knows, I guess....

Regards
Galina

[Natalya]

... in response to Re-post From RWL . . ., posted by Dan on Feb 19, 2002

If your RW has photo of child in her passport this is mean that she doesn't need boy's father permission any more.

[William]

... in response to I think, posted by Natalya on Feb 19, 2002

SO, how difficult is it for a RW to get a revised passport WITH her child(ren) included??
How long does that take? etc., etc..

[Natalya]

... in response to Re: I think, posted by William on Feb 19, 2002

I came from Belarus 6 years ago. It took me alot of efforts to get my exhusband permission for my daughter. Once I got it it wasn't too difficult to add her in my passport and too long either.