18 months

[Hiker]

I used to visit this board daily, but haven't been here in quite a while.  With a couple exceptions, like Pete or Hoda, I don't recognize any of the names posting now.  Well anyway, I just thought I would say howdy and comment how things have been after getting married.  

I can honestly say this has been the best 18 months of my life.  I had friends warn me how things would eventually go bad.  They could not have been further from the truth.  My wife is the hardest working woman I have ever seen in my life.  She is a great cook, and obsessed with having a clean house.  I have a lot more money being married to her than I had single.  It is amazing what she can do with a dollar.  When we go out she makes it very obvious that she is with me.  She is a very beautiful woman and attracts a lot of attention but she seems oblivious to it.  The public affection was very hard to get used to. (My ex wife was about as warm as a Popsicle.)  My wife will not allow me to iron a shirt, wash a dish, or even get up to get a glass of water.

If there is a negative side it is that she requires a lot of time and attention.  If we are not working she assumes we should be together 100% of the time.  She is a fun person to be with, so that is not a complaint for me, although 10 years ago I don't think I could have dealt with that.  The overhead with my wife is not money but lots and lots of time.  

There were supposed to be all these reasons that we would have problems:

1) my Spanish was extremely limited as was her English.
2) i am white and she is a mix of African and Indian
3) i am 46 and she is 36.
4) religion
5) culture

None of the things mentioned have even generated a small issue.  Well to be honest, on number 2, she is almost convinced that a white boy can't master dancing salsa but I am still trying. On issue number 1, language, I feel it actually helped us.  It took so long for us to have any kind of a conversation, we ended up leaving the TV off and while struggling with talking.  It is impossible for someone to learn a language as quickly as she has english.  No one around us can believe it.  She speaks almost flawless english.  But then again she spends a min of 3 hours every day working at it.

If you guys are thinking about making a trip, just do it.  Try learning a little spanish.  My first trip I knew maybe 5 to 10 words.  By my second trip I knew a few more.  The point is, that you will be suprised how far you can get with just a little knowledge of the language.  They are not worried about verb tense.  All they want to do is try to communicate.

[zack]

... in response to 18 months, posted by Hiker on Oct 4, 2004

Great post. I am getting similar negative comments from family and friends about the Colombian endeavor. I have a feeling that I will get the last laugh, as you did. Congratulations and good luck.

Zack

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: 18 months, posted by zack on Oct 5, 2004

about what you want to do in regards to your search for a lifemate & excercising your options in going south. Keep ya head up & stay on the path! Best of luck to you.

No doubt about the last laugh(s) & who they will be coming from :-)

[zack]

... in response to Zack....don't tell'em jack...., posted by Hoda on Oct 6, 2004

Hoda,

Thanks for the encouraging words. Actually, most of the people I work with don't even know about my travels. I just don't want to hear all of the B.S. I would rather wait until she is here on a fiance visa before saying anything. They won't have many negative comments once she is here.

Sounds like you got the last laugh also )   I love it, good for you!

Zack

[kented]

... in response to 18 months, posted by Hiker on Oct 4, 2004

Great post.  When my wife gets here I hope things go as well for me as they did for you.

How did you meet your wife?  I think lots of people would appreciate hearing what you did right.

[Hiker]

... in response to Re: 18 months, posted by kented on Oct 5, 2004

Well it kinda just happened.  I had been to Colombia and Mexico several times.  I had met a lot of great people and made some wonderful friends.  I met ladies who would probably have made a great wife but I just did not feel that magic I was looking for.  On a trip to Cali I was in the bank and I struck up a conversation with my future wife.  We struggled with communicating and decided to go get an ice cream.  I only had a few days left in Cali and had them pretty well booked, so I didn't get to spend a lot of time with her.  When I got home I could not get her out of my mind.  Finally I found the phone number she had given me and I called her.  We spoke reguarly for about five months and I went back to Cali to spend ten days with her.  She had a car so we spent the week seeing the area and hiking different trails.  I decided she was a little cold and didn't really have any interest in me.  I based this on my inability to move things on my pace to the bedroom.  I enjoyed being with her so I more or less wrote it down to having gained a friend and no more.  When I arrived back home from my trip, I opened a little gift she had given me.  Inside was a very long letter that she had written and had translated into english for me.  She told me how deeply she felt about me and how she sensed that I was giving up because of the pace she was moving at.  She explained how she felt very passionate about me but she needed to be sure she was not my sex vacation.  To make a long story short we were married about 15 months after meeting for the first time.  I was far of course thinking she lacked passion or was frigid.  The wait was worth the wait without a doubt.  Actually to be honest if she could just loose a little of that passion while Monday Night Football is on, I would be in a perfect world.  :-)

[kented]

... in response to Re: Re: 18 months, posted by Hiker on Oct 5, 2004

I met my wife by accident too.  She worked in a store and I went in to brouse because I wanted to meet her.  The great women are really special and the process in almost totally random.

Continued good luck.

[Onephd]

... in response to Re: Re: 18 months, posted by Hiker on Oct 5, 2004

Hey Hiker, glad to hear things are going well.  I think your point on a latinas need for lots of attention is something that gets overlooked.  

AGain good to hear from you.  When you get a moment, drop me a line and I can get you caught up my adventures.  

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to 18 months, posted by Hiker on Oct 4, 2004

I enjoyed the observations you made in your post. It seems that you were very wise and chose a woman of both beauty and character. I envy you a little regarding your wife's English abilities. Mine works hard learning but is too much of a perfectionista to actually say anything in English. Anyway, congratulations and my best wishes to you both.

[Jeff S]

... in response to 18 months, posted by Hiker on Oct 4, 2004

... having a common culture, language and religion aren't necessarily liabilities, and in some cases, are assets. Early in my own marriage (to an Asian) our commands of each other's languages wasn't good, so conversations tended to be long, slow, and often carefully worded, sometimes using a dictionary. This defused much of the emotion and stimulated the cerebral as opposed to emotional part of the exchange.

I also found my wife is a better planner, money manager, and also refuses to allow me to do many of the household tasks. She takes her duty seriously, holding up her end of the team.

- Jeff

[Chris F]

... in response to 18 months, posted by Hiker on Oct 4, 2004

Its always a pleasure to read success stories like yours!! I hope you have continued joy and happiness with your South American sweetheart.

God Bless!!!!

[lswote]

... in response to Re: 18 months...congrats to you Hiker!!!, posted by Chris F on Oct 4, 2004

Congrats Hiker.  I guess it has been 19 months for me.  We had a baby already who is now almost 9 months old.

[Hiker]

... in response to Re: Re: 18 months...congrats to you Hike..., posted by lswote on Oct 4, 2004

Congrats on your baby!!  I remember following your postings closely since I was right on your heels time wise.