HOY JEAN! and Jerry

[humabdos]

It seems a little strange that you and jerry have almost the same IP address   64.198.4.78   woodland TX   thats a long way from Hong Kong!  lol   Now which of you is fake?

[J4J]

... in response to HOY JEAN! and Jerry, posted by humabdos on Sep 17, 2001


This is what I have found:

1. Despite warnings, I have let a total stranger manipulate me into making an a-s out of myself with someone I truly care about;

2. Though some would have liked me to discover my future wife is a Drag-Queen, I have been reassured today, by two additional people that have met her in person, that Jean is indeed a natural born woman;

3. It does not matter how many techies a person hires, manages, or takes to lunch, being around techies does NOT make you (or at least me) a techie;

4. That is to say I have heard (and believe) the technical answer as to why Jean’s IP address is a US based server but I don’t understand the details of it (or care to), and doubt if I could explain it to you;

5. If you become inpatient and start calling Jean’s friends and asking them questions about her personal credibility whiles she sleeps she will not appreciate the time you saved;

6. Translated "I’m in the proverbial Dog-house."

-

-

So, if I ever let Humabdos con me into one of his schemes again will Dave H. & friends please kick me in the butt

J

[J4J]

... in response to 4  LD  calls  &  2  hours  of  my  t..., posted by J4J on Sep 18, 2001


Patrick, you give excellent advice.  Yes, trust is precious.  Too bad it is so fragile.

Evidently, Jean's Father has been reading the board.  He called me early this morning and we had quite a discussion.  He is a very smart man.  He and Jean just had a long talk.  He wants her pictures and full name off her sites.  I agree.  She can continue to help friends without taking any personal heat.  

I hadn't considered this.  She said she has men recognize her on the street in Hong Kong.  They have all been nice to her so far but the next one might not be.  She was the target of a stalker a few years back and I believe she connected the events of the day to some of her feelings from that experience.

If life wasn't complicated it wouldn't be half the fun, right?  Jean and I got to talk through several issues during our five phone calls throughout her day.  In the end, perhaps it has been a good day after all.

J

[FilipinaCupid]

... in response to Thank you for the feedback, posted by J4J on Sep 19, 2001


Trust is what gets you through the tough times.  This isn't really a "tough time" - it is just our 1st uncomfortable experience with each other.  

We have spoiled ourselves with all our common interests and beliefs.  This is just one day in a long life, no more. So, come on out of the doghouse. I just wish I were there in the USA so we could be enjoying a LoVing makeup KiSS right now.

X0X0,

Jean

[J4J]

... in response to I disagree Hon,  "trust"  is v..., posted by FilipinaCupid on Sep 19, 2001


haven't I said that somewhere before.  

It is worth repeating!

But then I am such a Lucky Guy!

Isn't Lucky a good match with Wise & Beautiful?

I sure an glad I am lucky!

J

[SteveG]

... in response to I disagree Hon,  "trust"  is v..., posted by FilipinaCupid on Sep 19, 2001

Jean,
 Just wait until you are here and Jerry starts teaching you to drive.    (    Then you will know what a tough time is!  LOL   No matter how well you get along that will be the straw that breaks the camels back.   A fight is guaranteed, but hey, now several years later myself and Melly laugh at all those driving lessons!  
                                  SteveG

PS - PLEASE finish those stories.

[Howard]

... in response to 4  LD  calls  &  2  hours  of  my  t..., posted by J4J on Sep 18, 2001

Jer,

Patrick's, quite unexpected, but throroughly welcomed, response says it best.  

I just wanted to chime in and say that I'm sorry you guys have to go through this.  I don't have a clue what Hum was babbling about and really don't care to find out.  I don't know what his beef is with Jean and, again, don't care to know,  I like Hum, he often makes me laugh, whether he intends to or not :c)  But Jean has never been anything but kind towards me.  She has reached out to me personally when I am not quite myself with worry and indecision and made it all a little easier to take.  She's not the only one, but the others know me well, Jean didn't really know me at the time.  Sure, I'm a legend here... :c)  LOL!  God, I'm making myself sick!  LOL

Anyway,  If either of you wanna talk to someone, I'm here.  I wish you two the best, you both seem like such nice people

Keep the Faith

H

[Ray]

... in response to Jerry... Jerry... Jerry..., posted by Howard on Sep 18, 2001

How are you doing back there all alone? Are you still eating your rice and veggies every day? I remember when my ex would go back to the Phils for a month-long vacation. The first week I would pig out on all the junk food I had been missing. Lots of steaks, hot dogs, cheeseburgers, pizza, etc. Then I would find myself craving rice again (go figure).

Any schedule for the wife’s return yet? We’re all waiting for her to get back. I think Dave’s purple thingie ought to be about ripe enough by now…:-)

Take care of yourself bud!

Ray

[Howard]

... in response to Hey Howard!, posted by Ray on Sep 19, 2001

Hey Ray :c)

Everyday?  Nah, but you hit the nail on the head, I find myself craving rice every couple of days!  And I have been having a lumpia-jones like you wouldn't believe!!!  Anybody's wife who feels sorry for me in this time of lumpialess tragedy, can feel free to send their lumpia laden care packages to my home address :c)  LOL!

I have not been able to get through to my wife in about two weeks.  Her cousin says it's because there was a monsoon there and the cell towers are damaged.  With everything else going on now I am worried about her personal safety as well.  I can't even imagine the how intense the process for her to get back into the states will be.  I'm sure she's ok, it hasn't been long enough that I'm really worried, I'm just assuming that she's taking care of more important matters than me right now.

Even though our spereation comes at  great personal cost, her fathers terminal illness, the seperation itself has been a blessing in disguise, at least for me.  It's often difficult to address problems when we're faced with them every day.  In the time we have been apart I have run the gambit of emotions and feel I am now thinking clearly and know I am ready to face the challenges of our marriage head on.  I have resigned myself to the fact that there is a very real possibility that we may never be able to find a happy medium.  If we don't, it won't be for lack of trying on my part.  If in my quest to create a marriage that I am satisfied with I alienate my wife further, then that in itself is an answer.  It's not the answer I want, but an answer nonetheless.

I'm past the anger of coming to grips with the fact that I have unwittingly entered into an arranged marriage.  My cousellor stated that so matter of factly that I snapped, but in retrospect I know that he figured that I was less emotionally motivated, than motivated by convenience.  I got angry, he apologized, I felt ashamed that I could be so blind, got pissed, felt betrayed, got pissed, got over it.  It isn't what I had anticpated, it isn't what I dreamt about, what I hoped for or wanted, but it is what I have.  If God is willing to forgive my ignorance and guide me through this we'll be fine.  I have trouble believing that this is another test that I'm supposed to fail to build character :c)  This is the real deal and I'm just supposed to figure out how to make it a success.  I'm ready :c)

Ayesa should be home in the next few weeks.  We had originally planned on her return the second week of October, but I told her that if she needs to stay a couple of more weeks than she has my blessing.  My needs and opinions mean little in this situation.  My wife needs to be able to do what she feels she needs to for her family with nothing more that my support and love.  That she will always have :c)

Thanks for your interest...  I miss talking to you :c)

Keep the Faith

H

[Ray]

... in response to Re: Hey Howard!, posted by Howard on Sep 20, 2001

Hi Howard!

Yeah, that d@mn rice is addictive. I’m used to eating all kinds of junk with rice. Chili on rice, Dinty Moore Beef Stew on rice, pot pies on rice, etc., etc… But my all-time favorite is fried rice, the best thing since sliced bread. I actually perfected my fried rice to where even Asian ladies like it, if you can believe that.

I have some extra home made lumpia in my freezer, but I don’t think I could get it to you frozen, especially since the airlines stopped carrying mail. If you check your local Asian market, you can usually find some decent frozen lumpia. My favorite local store has at least 8 or 10 varieties in the frozen food section. It’s not like mama makes, but not too bad in a pinch. Make sure you get a bottle of that oriental chili sauce to go with it.

I think I know what mean about the positive side of the separation. When I was in the Navy and my ex and I would just about get to the point where we couldn’t stand each other’s face any longer, it would be time to ship out on another deployment. After a month or so, we would really start missing eachother again and by the time I got home, it was like another honeymoon all over again. We appreciated each other more when we were apart. So, the separations definitely did have their good points. With a lot of guys I knew, the deployments were the only thing keeping their marriages together.

You’ve got the right attitude about your marital problems and if she has the same conviction to see this thing through, then I think you two will do just fine. Even in those marriages that start off great, it isn’t uncommon to go through periods when you feel as if you just don’t love eachother anymore. But if you are both committed, the love eventually returns and usually at an even higher level than before. Trust me, I’ve been there. I think the real problem lies with the ease at which you can get a divorce these days. It makes it too easy to bail out before things have a chance to heal. I’ve known several couples who divorced and were remarried again after they both realized that the divorce was a hasty mistake. That sure makes the lawyers happy I’ll bet :-)

I just hope that Ayesa all uses some of this time apart for some deep soul searching. If she realizes the good thing she has, she’ll be back with a new attitude. At least I hope so.

Hang in there Howard. Most of us here are pulling for you two.

Ray

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: Hey Howard!, posted by Howard on Sep 20, 2001

Thanks for the update.  It's always good to know haow you're doing.  I hadn't read a report in a while.

Hang in there.

Stephen & Tess

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: Hey Howard!, posted by Howard on Sep 20, 2001

Thanks for the update.  It's always good to know haow you're doing.  I hadn't read a report in a while.

Hang in there.

Stephen & Tess

[Patrick]

... in response to 4  LD  calls  &  2  hours  of  my  t..., posted by J4J on Sep 18, 2001

Trust is a difficult thing to manage in this pursuit.  I've been there myself.  When I started, I was including a long diatribe in my second letters about how I would not support nor immigrate a woman's family, etc. etc.  I was assuming many of the women were out to use men.  Needless to say, the letters did not go over too well.  Eventually, after meeting many women, I came to the conclusion that the vast majority were not out to use someone for a green card or immigration to the US for her family.  I assumed the agency operators were all slime-bags.  Even that turned out to be incorrect (though there are a few that are close).

I've often seen men lose trust in the woman they were courting.  Usually over some misunderstanding, with a good dose of paranoia thrown in to ferment the distrust.  It's always best to trust, but remain cautious until meeting in-person and spending lots of time together.  Once you do that, assuming you're a decent judge of character, you'll have a good idea of what really dwells within a woman's heart.  Have confidence in your own judgement and don't let the general negativity you find in most people regarding this endeavor intrude into your relationship.  I really believe there's more prejudice against this than their is against any particular race or religion and contrary to racial or religous based prejudice, prejudice against the men and women involved in this is generally considered to be politically correct.

Ask the average man or woman in the streets what they think of the men and women involved in this and you'll get a pretty consistant view and the stereotypical negative response.  But after you've been involved in the search for a while, you get to know reality.  The reality is that the majority of the people looking overseas (from either side) are fundamentally good.

Just ignore the paraniods and you'll learn the truth for yourself over time.

[Ray]

... in response to Trust, posted by Patrick on Sep 18, 2001

n/t

[greg]

... in response to Trust, posted by Patrick on Sep 18, 2001

Good to see you making an effort to help Us..Ummmm I still believe to get a good Foreigner Woman a Guy gotta be either Lucky or Blessed. If a Guy feel that she's after himself , then he's living in a fantasy land. Best way to test them is to withhold You $$$$$$'s, as long as your $$$$$$'s are pouring in everything is fine. Of Course this is only my penny worth. Anyway, Your doing a great creative job on Planet-Love. greg