OK Pete/Living in Hawaii....here ya go
Subject: First trip...Wow
Greetings...
T-minus 72 hours....Hurricane Floyd is closing in on the east coast, people are heading west with the quickness. I call my miami based travel agent, she says "we got to go bro, floyd is knocking down de door". Ten hours later miami international is closed..damn!! Floyd moves in a north by northwest direction 14 hours later miami is open...Yes!!!
T-minus 24 hours....It's starting to rain bulls & cows here in
metro new york, floyd is getting closer. I call american airlines &
change my flight from 9:15am to 7:20am, saving 140 bucks. I work the
nite shift in tech support for a international bank. By the time I get
in my seat it will be 21 straight hours of sweat and prayer.
T-minus 4 hours...My boss calls me from home and tells me to get the hell out of there. He screams "you come back without pictures..
..you're fired!!!". I hop in the cab and away we go...6 Blocks later,
two cabbies are screaming at one another blocking the intersection. I
jump out of the cab and scream...If y'all don't move these f%&$#*& cabs, SOMETHING SO BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU THAT GOD WON'T BE ABLE TO RECONIZE YOU !!!. I guess the crazed look in my eyes convinced them that I was very serious....
FINALLY...I've checked my bag, I'm in my seat all buckled up.
Good morning ladies and gentlemen, they'll be a slight delay..Noooo!!
we've got to get off the ground, floyd is coming, floyd is coming!!!!
To be continued after a few words from our sponsors.....
Peace....Howard
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Date: Wed, 29 Sep 1999 06:55:38 GMT
Subject: My First Trip....Wow!!
Hi Folks...
Sorry about the delay...the real world kept getting in the way.
Now, where were we, oh yeah! I got out of Newark Intl Airport exactly
one hour and 10 min before they shut-down all 3 metro airports..whew!
The flight was pretty smooth to miami, upon landing the captain told
me he flew well west of the storm. He took a raincheck to my offer of a thank-you drink(s). I had a 3 hour layover til my ACES flight left.
T-minus 95 minutes: I decided to get my bag sealed in plastic, just so
no one could give me an unexpected gift. I approached the counter, gave the agent my ticket, passport & plastic sealed bag. Everything was in order, she handed me my boarding pass & a smile to die for. For some reason, I wasn't nervous, no last minutes urges to turn back and go home, I just wanted to get to Cali! I stop by the bar right next to gate e-3, and had a double shot of cognac...didn't feel a thing!!!
Boarding Call...Alright kid this is it, no turning back. As I walk
down the ramp..WOOF! WOOF!... dogs?!! WTF?. Oh S*#%, now what? ATF agents & Customs agents were pulling to the side people for questioning. Be kool Davis, you got nothing to hide, just keep walking & don't stare. I hear the agents ask people how long have you been here, how many bags you check etc etc. Finally, I get to my seat (FLY ACES) & buckle up. I look out the window, and I see this tall lady with a badge open up what looks like a switch blade. She then orders the ground crew to remove all plastic wrap bags from the jet..damn,now what? She slices open every damn plastic wrapped bag!! At first I'm pissed, then it hit me..let'em search! As long as all my stuff is there when I land, let'em do their job! After a 45 minute delay we're off! (FLY ACES)
The flight was my best ever...Food, film & Flight attendants, it was all good! As we flew over the Colombia terrain, the majesty of the
mountains was incredible. So beautiful, so dangerous. As much as I love to hike, I knew that would be a BIG NO-NO during my stay. We get
to Cali around 8:30pm, by now I've been up approx: 28 straight hours. A set of Janet Jackson twins couldn't keep me awake...that's a lie!!
I get my bag, approach the customs lady, she takes one look at me & waves me by...kool! The custom guy checks to make sure the bag is mine
& I'm out the door. Calmly I take a look to my left, no Diego. I look
to my right, bingo! My name never looked so good to see, as when I saw
Diego holding up the latinlove sign. I hugged him like if he was my long lost brother. Into this itty bitty cab we go! He makes moves around the parking lot that have me flinching. I will never ever say anything bad about driving or drivers in the the USA ever again! The guys use high beams as a high level form of communication. Red lights and stop signs....street decorations! We arrive at the latinlove palace. Looks like a fort with these high walls, upon closer examination I see what looks like electric fences on top of the walls. We gonna sleep real good here!
Will be back in an hour....promise!
Peace...Hoda
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Date: Wed, 29 Sep 1999 08:18:18 GMT
Subject: My First Trip...Wow..."The Palace"
Here we go again...
The very big door opens up, and a casually dressed lady greets me.
"Howard?" Man..the accent, my name never sounded so go. She leads me
downstairs to my room by the pool. The web site doesn't lie...this
place is truly a "Palace". I enter my room..nice, nice, this will work. I open my drapes and flop on the bed, a voice calls out. You must be Howard Davis. I open one eye to look at a man who shall hence forth be known as "Stormin Norman". This is one of the men who gave me that final push, to get off my ass and make the trip. I get up and climb thru the window to the pool/outdoor dinning area where I'm introduced to Johnnie "Two Guns" B. & Steve "Captain Luuuve", "Jumping Jamming" John B. & "EZ" Jeff A. Together all of us form what shall hence forth be called "The Breakfast Club". It's an interesting group of men...a couple have had written correspondence before meeting the ladies live...one good/one bad. The others are seasoned vets who have made atleast 2 previous trips to Colombia. We pour some local rum and coke and the stories & expectations fill the air. Man, these guys are funny. Since I was the newbie, I was grilled on what I expected. I look at 'em straight in the eye and said.."I honestly don't know, but what I do know is, that I had to come"...Great answer yelled Stormin. They briefed me on selection protocol which was, once I selected ladies from the binders, they stay in my binder until after I was through seeing them. They walked me up to the office and pointed out the binders. There, amongst those binders lies the woman you have been dreaming & waiting for bellowed Two guns. I couldn't bring myself to pick up the binders labelled 18,19,& 20. I yelled "I have a daughter 18". The jedhi master whispered into my ear...None of them are your daughter". Still I picked up the 21 & 22 year old binders. I was instructed by the masters to rest & not make decisions while fatiged. I grabbed my glass of rum colored with coke cola and went to my room. I opened the binders..Oh My Gawd!
to be continued tomorrow.................Peace Hoda
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Date: Thu, 30 Sep 1999 07:22:54 GMT
Subject: My First Trip...Wow...."First Light"
Yawn.....
Oh man...what time is it? 7:50...OUCH! What the...Damn! Binders open, photos w/bio's all around me on the bed. Nice touch Davis, your
first nite with the ladies and you fall asleep on 'em. Good morning Ladies, I say to the photo's as pull everything together. As I head to the bathroom, I hear english being spoken outside my window. I'm wondering who the hell is up so damn early. Well it's too early for the kid to be socialable..to the shower we go. Then it hits me...I've heard the stories about places without hot water. Puleezzee don't let it happen here! Great looking bathroom with the shower stall and all. But if it doesn't have hot water..I am not going to be a nice person. Yeeeoow! The hot water will give third degree burns if you don't add the cold water. After the shower, I get dressed, gather my binder and the others and head to outdoor dining area where my fellow breakfast clubbers are waiting. They start snickering once I sit down, then they bust out into full fledge L.O.L. mode. What's up? Two guns & Captain Luuuve are beside themselves. They said the sight of me laying on my bed with lord knows how many photo's/bio's scattered around me and the open binders was too much! Their only regret was that they didn't get a picture of me...too bad! I fill out my breakfast menu and chat with the fellas..about everything from what to wear, what to ask etc,etc...Relax young Jedi, all in due time,all in due time. For now,
eat and regain your strength, you will need it. While they are reviewing my choices, some of which they have already interviewed. I'm given the lowdown. They're all sweet & nice & beautiful yada, yada, yada. The consensus of my choices was very positive. Now go upstairs & go thru some more binders orders Stormin Norman. Sir..Yes Sir!
After two more binders I have about 15 ladies in my binder. I still don't believe they exist. Good Morning Howard!...Oh man it's Rubi! Hope you had a restful sleep she said. Rubi is something else. About
twenty eight give or take, lovely lady...with a walk that makes one go damn! You want fries with that shake Rubi! Huh! she replies. Oh forget it I said, as I hand her my binder. Then BAM,Joanna walks in Buenos Dias she sings...Oh man looka here, looka here! I Ask Rubi, you got anymore like her? PLENTY, Rubi said without missing a beat. You have some very nice ladies in your book Howard. Let's start making some phone calls. Most of these ladies work and/or go to school so it'll probaly be 2 to 3 o'clock before your first appointment arrives. It's 12pm and four "FINE" I said, four "FINE" ladies come in to join the agency...Damn! Two of them are looking at me as if I was the last steak on the platter! They flash smiles at me I haven't seen thrown in my direction since lord knows when. I return the smiles as they pass by. Captain luuuve taps me on my shoulder, reminding me to keep breathing. Pinch me please, pinch me real hard. You are really here my man..Cap re-assures me. You are really here....
Next: my first(gasp!)interviews.....
Peace....Howard
