The third lady I met arrived on time. We sat in the food court of a shopping mall talking over juices. Her Latin Euro photo was only of her upper body so upon seeing her I took on her appearance as a whole. Her face was more attractive than in the photo. Her body did not have the hour-glass shape that I find extremely attractive. Her hips were slim. Her stomach was flat. Her breasts were somewhat larger than what I would consider proportional for her body. If you like the Playboy Bunny figure then she is very sexy. One of my first questions is usually why the woman joined Latin Euro. Her answer was that her friends made her join. She said her friends were concerned about her social life, which by her own admission, is non-existent.
This woman turned out to be extremely conservative and very religious. She doesn't smoke. She doesn't drink alcohol of any kind in any situation. She doesn't go out dancing, only to the occasional movie. She wears modest one-piece bathing suits. (I didn't know you could buy these in Brazil. lol! I have only seen one woman wearing one.) She always wears long pants or skirts. She never shows a great deal of cleavage. She works as a sales clerk and is 30 years old. She goes to church frequently. On week-ends she volunteers at a hospital cheering up patients who have been abandoned by their families. She came across to me as a very caring, sensitive, compassionate person.
I remarked that she is very pretty and a wonderful person surely she could find a man who was worthy of her. She said she used to have a boyfriend but the relationship ended badly. What she told me about her relationship frightened me. She has had only 1 boyfriend in her life. They started dating when she was 20 and he 3 years older. They had met and become friends in school. The dating started sometime after she finished school and fairly quickly he became jealous and possessive. She would ask him to stop behaving like that and he would for a little while, and then back to the same old same old. She got tired of this and decided to end the relationship. When she told him this he threatened to kill her and then himself. She said she was so frightened that she stayed with him. I asked her if she didn't have anyone to talk to about him, someone who could give you advice on how to deal with the situation. "Yes" , but at first she was too frightened to tell anyone. When she eventually did tell friends and family they encouraged to leave him, but she was still too frightened. She said the stress of the abuse made her physically ill and mentally depressed. Unless I misunderstood, she said this went on for YEARS! I believe 7. When she absolutely could not take it anymore, she spoke with his family, with whom she had a good relationship, and then to him again. His family intervened on her behalf and he then agreed to end the relationship.
I have come across this scenario before. A conservative Latina with very limited experience with men (sometimes also due to an absent father and no brothers), whose information about men comes from stereotypes, rumors, and gossip from friends and family, chooses a man for a relationship based on idealistic standards, has that relationship turn out badly, and now barely trusts men in general. This woman, as wonderful as she is, does not have a realistic understanding of men, maleness, and masculinity. She made several comments during our talk that belied her ignorance about men. I cannot be the one to teach her about men. That is too big a burden. I can only teach a woman about me as an individual. This woman is special and will make some man a wonderful wife and mother of his children, but that man is not me.
