Brazil Trip - Salvador (2)

[Brazilophile]

The third lady I was set to meet was another that I had previously met on my last trip.  We were incompatible then because she is very religious, evangelical, and wanted a religious man.  In addition, she was already involved with a religious man and had been for about 3 or 4 months.  She had agreed to meet me despite being involved "out of curiosity".  We agreed to remain friends and we emailed each other a few times but hers stopped after a while and I didn't pursue the matter.  My first questions were whether she had been the to US yet and how her relationship was going.  They would have been going together for about 18 months.  She had a story to tell too!

Her "boyfriend" has, to date, not made any serious commitment to her or toward her coming to the US.  She feels a year and a half is long enough.  On top of that she discovered that he had lied to her about many aspects of his life.  One example she gave was that he had told her that he was also evangelical.  That turned out to be untrue, he is Catholic.  She seemed very disappointed about this experience and has given up completely on loving him.  How do I know?  I asked her point blank why she is staying with him and if she loved him.  She replied equally point blank and with no hesitation whatsoever, "No!".  She is staying with him only as a means of getting to the US.  She is using him.  She admitted this point blank.  And if she can't get to the US using him, she will find some other man to take her to the US.  It didn't matter to her who took her to the US as long as she got there.  She also admitted this point blank.  This is from an evangelical woman!!!  She was not at all like this a year ago and I was taking what she said tongue well in cheek.

She is pushing 30 now.  She went on to explain that she is becoming more frustrated with life in Brazil.  She is tired of working so hard for so little pay and not getting ahead in life.  She described her boyfriend as very confused about his life and about women.  He has planned a trip to visit her n September.  She intends to give him an ultimatum them and dump him at year's end if he doesn't get his act together by then.  I believe her cynicism was not coming from her personality but rather from the frustration of a stagnating life in Brazil, some personal factors one of which I will discuss in my next post, and anger at both her boyfriend and herself for falling for his lies and wasting so much time with him.  She thought that part of his problem was a distrust of women.  She told me that he had told her that he gave up on AW after he had caught his wife cheating on him.  He apparently travels a good deal for his job which left his wife home alone for many days at a time.  After one business trip he came home and found his wife in bed with her lover - wait for it - another woman!!!!!   So she doesn't think very highly of this guy.  I asked her if she was at least physically attracted to him.  "No!"  He is a very well built guy, muscles and little fat, with 5 or 6 tattoos and 1 brand.  She prefers a more regular build and hates body art.  Furthermore, her family doesn't particularly like him either, especially her mother.  Though her older sister does like him.  

I had been impressed with her the first time I met her and used this opportunity to make some headway with her.  I let her know that I thought well of her but didn't pursue her due to her involvement with her boyfriend.  I expressed regret that the relationship with her boyfriend was not going well but that gives me the opportunity to pursue her, which I was now going to do.  We talked about my trip and situation, about the friend I met in MG and other ladies I was meeting in Salvador and Recife.  She made a point of saying that unlike my friend in MG she was ready to separate from her family and travel abroad.  We wrapped up that meeting with me accepting an invitation to visit her family the next day.      

I was very happy about this development.  I was very impressed with her value system the first time I met her and that had not changed much to this time.  In fact, I was rather disappointed last year that so many of the women I was meeting were religious and needed/wanted religious men.  Reality/cynicism had changed/lowered her requirements.  She was now willing to become involved with a non-religious man.  She said she could be content with a decent reliable man who can get her to the US.  In addition, she had changed the stying of her hair and had lost some weight.  She was not objectionably overweight the year before but now with a slimmer waist and flatter stomach, all the famous Latin curves were front and center with her.  She had a hot body now!  And her hair framed her face in a more flattering manner.

The other lady I was to meet was a new one and turned out to be a NO SHOW.  Her mother simply said she went out and was not very informative or helpful.

[Heat]

... in response to Brazil Trip - Salvador (2), posted by Brazilophile on Jun 15, 2004

Marry her now.  She will be great for you!!!

If you like lawyers.

[Heat]

... in response to Brazil Trip - Salvador (2), posted by Brazilophile on Jun 15, 2004

Marry her now.  She will be great for you!!!

If you like lawyers.

[mudd]

... in response to Brazil Trip - Salvador (2), posted by Brazilophile on Jun 15, 2004

So let me get this straight, your thinking about a woman who said " she is only staying with him until she gets to the US" and you want to date this girl? You are either very desperate or very stupid, time will tell I which one it is or both.
" I was very impressed with her value system" oh give me a break, sounds like this girl will do anything to get to the US, and if for what ever reason you do pursue her, get her a visa, do you thing she will stick around for you, not likely. You need to put down the crack pipe, and stand back from the computer..... And then re-read your letter from a different point of view.

[utopiacowboy]

... in response to Re: Brazil Trip - Salvador (2), posted by mudd on Jun 15, 2004

You're getting some good advice from Mudd and Kented.

[Brazilophile]

... in response to Re: Brazil Trip - Salvador (2), posted by mudd on Jun 15, 2004

From the information that you have, your reaction is understandable.  What is difficult to convey in my posts is the body language, facial expression, and tone of voice that was used during our conversations.  All that stuff which creates the context for her words is absent here but led me to feel that it was frustration speaking, not sincerity.

[kented]

... in response to Re: Re: Brazil Trip - Salvador (2), posted by Brazilophile on Jun 15, 2004

Latinas are beautiful charming people and they do live a difficult life.  They all have sad tales and reasons to be desperate.

While her honesty to you is a positive trait it appears to be her only one.  When you meet and marry the girl of your dreams, you will change her life and make it 100% better.  Look for someone who loves you and wants to make your life 100% better, too.

[gregas]

... in response to NOT GF material, posted by kented on Jun 16, 2004

:O)

[JSlo]

... in response to NOT GF material, posted by kented on Jun 16, 2004

Now that is really the determining factor in selecting a mate.
"Look for someone who loves you and wants to make your life 100% better, too".
This is great advice for all to heed. Good message!

[mudd]

... in response to Re: Brazil Trip - Salvador (2), posted by mudd on Jun 15, 2004

ok, that was a litte harsh, but to the point. so many red flags that im wondering if she has a russian flag on her wall at home.

[Phoenix]

... in response to Re: Re: Brazil Trip - Salvador (2), posted by mudd on Jun 15, 2004

You must be thinking of the red flag of the former Soviet Union.

The current Russian Flag has three equal horizontal bands of white (top), blue, and red.

[mudd]

... in response to Real Red Flag, posted by Phoenix on Jun 15, 2004

yep, forgot they changed it, but all i see is this BIG RED FLAG waveing, and Brazilophilie saying " i was very impressed with her value system" you just got to wonder!!!!!!!

[pablo]

... in response to Re: Re: Brazil Trip - Salvador (2), posted by mudd on Jun 15, 2004


I was thinking more along the lines of the robot in Lost in Space with his arms twirling and lights flashing saying, "Danger Will Robinson, Danger"!

[larrydarrell]

... in response to Brazil Trip - Salvador (2), posted by Brazilophile on Jun 15, 2004

"He is a very well built guy, muscles and little fat, with 5 or 6 tattoos and 1 brand"

What is a "brand"?  I really have not heard of this before.

[pablo]

... in response to Re: Brazil Trip - Salvador (2), posted by larrydarrell on Jun 15, 2004


www.infinitebody.com/gallery/brand/brandcen.html

Gee, I can't wait to get mine.