I have a roomate here who doesn't really follow the board but I told him some of the recent stuff.He said you should do a post about you and your girlfriend to give a more possitive perspective.Good idea I thought.
James has a very good point that its our responsibility to choose the right girl.Trouble girls,at least every one I know about,give off lots of red flags.That doesn't excuse bad behavior and sincere guys have been decieved by blatantly lying girls,but once that become obvious its your responsibility to get out or you get what you get.
But I think the main part of it comes down to the type of girl you choose.There are lots of questionable ones.You can see it right away.Mess with them at your own peril.
But there are LOTS of good girls.Many of them are not getting any action at all,have no citas at all.They generally don't look as flashy in pictures,but may look much better in person.They may also
have some "stats" that work against them.Like age and children.
First lets talk about children.If you don't want kids,either yours or hers,you are really fighting the general feelings of most Colombian women.Most either have or want kids.Its alot more important too them than your typical american women.You might find girls who don't want or have kids but they tend to be older and more proffesional,like you would be more likely to find in Bogota.If a younger woman says kids are not important watch out,that issues is likely to come up big time later.Many guys want kids but don't want a woman with kids.Thats fine.Alot of younger girls have no kids but want them.In my case I don't want to have more kids of my own,don't want to start over with babies.So then I have to find a woman who doesn't want kids,rare in Colombia,or I go for a woman who has kids.I have choosen the latter,not only because its almost required if you don't want more kids later,but it opens up alot of girls to you other guys are passing on.
OK,now lets talk age and then pull it togeter.Age is not so important here as in the US.I even heard a story of an 85 year old gringo married to an 18 year old Colombiana.Thats would be extremely risky taking her to the US but living here it can actually work.Both people can be happy with the deal.Of course uping her lifestyle tremendously is the offseting factor why she would go for such an old guy.But for the girl,as crazy as it sounds,it could be an acceptable alternative.
Her other alternatives were not so hot.And to be cynical a little myself,an extremely old rich gringo can be better than a not so old gringo.She may be able to have the benefits,or some benefits without him sooner rather than later.
Sorry I got of in to extremes,which is not the norm,I just wanted to give perspective.
My girl friend will be 32 this month.2 kids 5 and 12.I turned 61 last month.29 years one month,2 days difference.Most people judge me for 50 or so and I don't think I seem or look at all like an old guy,that helps.My girlfriend actually judged me for 55,the oldest anybody ever has,but the issue came up after several dates and she had lots of imformation,like pensions,ect and not just my looks to judge.Her bio sheet had her age prefference as 40-55.
She had been at the agency for 5 months and no citas at all.I think she is very attractive be we are not talking early 20's.I will post some pictures soon,of us and my apartment.
This girl is thrilled to death to have me.She had probably almost given up hope of ever finding an acceptable guy,let alone one who treats her so well and can totally change her life.And I might add
is probably a whole lot better looking than what she would have accepted.She says I wake up in the morning and pinch myself,I just can't believe its real.She says she is afraid she will wake up and find it is all a dream.She was also afraid I would go back to my ex wife because she knows I still have feelings for her.She watched the Andy thing and that really brought the issue to the forefront.No problem Andy,we needed to deal with that anyway.I have had some really good sort of closure type discussions with my ex,we are headed towards a "just friends" type relation.We still care about each other but its not anything like what is needed to be married.I am also trying to get my girl a tourist visa to go with me on my summer vacation to the states.I guess this is more possible because I live here.I will keep you posted.My girl was telling me how how afraid she was to see me fly off wondering if I would come back.Getting to go or me wanting her to go helps alot.
So here I am with a girl that is very attractive to me.She seems to love me totally.She is the most sensual sexual woman I have ever known,and I can count women I have known in to 3 figures.There are NO red flags,no character flaws I have seen.This is one honest strait shooting woman.My room mates seek her out for counsel because she always listens very carefully ande then tells them exactly what she thinks.I watch and don't even understand much of what is being said but I am always so proud of her just watching.Yes I have totally changed her life,its not just my physical charms,although if you ask her when the relationship became significant she tells be its when we started having those great besos.This girl can almost have an orgasm from just kissing.She tells me "I trust you with my whole life".Wow!Thats a trust I never want to disapoint,just as she never wants to disapoint me.
She is probably going to move inn with her kids when we come back in early August or so,so "Petes Place" as chica city will probably cease to be.After knowing her about one year and living with her 6 months we will probably get married and move somewhere other than Cali.Cartagena?Panama?We will see.Probably not the US but I want to spend 1-3 months there every summer.
Kids an issue? Of course.But not a negative issue.They are very good kids.She says "I am Duro Mama.(Tough)".These kids give us no problems at all but it does change your life.The youngest is only 5.Very cute good kid but we will be in the kid business along time.Sometimes I think about just staying single and playing the field,which I could do easily here.I could have 20 something chicas all he time.But its not me.And I don't lie at all(except for the he's not here requests from my roomates).Playing the field is just not me.
Story to be continued.We had 4 guys,3 girlfriends,one interpretter,2 maids and 4 kids here Monday.My girlfriend thought it was a bit much.I told her this is just temporary but its fun to me for now.She is ready to move to living together now,kind of thinks of the place as her house.After the summer trip.I want to be renting it while I'm gone.
Thats the story for now.I will keep you posted.I always said if my marrige didn't work I would be right back.A little older and a little smarter.
There is hope for every sincere guy.I don't know any other options that are even close.
Pete
